The Exploits of Moominpappa (Moominpappa's Memoirs) (13 page)

'Meaning you,' said the Joxter and gave me a friendly pat on the back. 'He thinks you're the strangest fish here.'

'Be quiet, the serpent's talking,' I said.

'I'd be surprised if this whale would ever get the time to digest it,' now said the serpent. 'Blazing with light, indeed. He'll be caught sooner or later.'

'One asks oneself with a certain apprehension whether it's a manifestation of stupidity or of defiance,' said the fishing-frog. 'Still, one has to admit that the effect is most pleasing to the eye. I'm afraid my glasses do not allow me really to appreciate the illumination. But as a law-abiding citizen one asks oneself also what his wattage might be.'

'What's he talking of?' the Mymble asked.

'They seem to have some kind of lighting regulation,' the Joxter said with a snort. 'Apparently you're not allowed even to light the lamps on your own snout.'

'Very sensible,' remarked the Island Ghost. 'The night of fate veiling the cemetery in black shrouds. Black wraiths flitting through the dark. Good idea.'

Indeed, each one of the sea-people carried a small unlit lantern. They now formed a dense crowd around the Amphibian and seemed to like our light.

'It can't last,' said a cod. 'The Sea-Hound's sure to come.'

The crowd moved uneasily and the smallest fishes disappeared.

'Where's he hunting tonight?' the serpent asked anxiously.

'I heard him in the western parts before nightfall,' replied a sea-spook. 'There was a porpoise carrying a light. He ate it, of course.'

'They're off,' I said. 'Something's scared them.'

'They'll eat us,' said little My.

'I'd better put the kiddies to bed,' remarked the Mymble. 'Hurry up, please!'

Her children formed a circle to help each other with the back buttons.

'Count yourselves tonight,' said the Mymble. 'This excitement's made me so tired.'

'Aren't you going to read to us?' the kiddies cried.

'Yes, of course,' said the Mymble.

'Where did we stop last time?'

The kiddies chorused: 'This-is-one-eyed-Bob'san-guinary-work-remarked-Inspector-Twiggs-pulling-a-three-inch-nail-from-the-ear-of-the-corpse-it-must-have-happened.'

'I know, I know,' said the Mymble. 'Hurry into bed now and we'll say your prayers first.'

Just then we caught sight of the Sea-Hound on the starboard.

It looked so terrifying that Hodgkins switched off all the lamps at once.

But his surprise was so great that he wasn't able to handle the ship properly, and instead of rising to the surface the Amphibian dived down like a stone to the bottom of the sea and started to crawl forward on her caterpillar chains.

The sea-weed brushed our sides and clawed at our port-holes like ghastly fingers. In the silent dark we heard the panting of the Sea-Hound chasing us. Now his grey snout with the long drooping whiskers appeared, horribly lighted by his evil yellow eyes. They were like a couple of search-lights that found the Amphibian and held it...

'Under the covers, children!' the Mymble cried. 'Here he comes!'

There was a crash and a sickening wrench astern. The Sea-Hound had started with the rudder.

And then followed a terrible upheaval. The Amphibian suddenly rose tail upwards and was thrown over on its back, loose sea-weed whirled around us in the churning water, and the general rush and roar drowned our wild shouts. We were thrown head over heels, all the cupboards flew open, the crockery came crashing out and was mixed on the floor with oatmeal, rice and tea, kiddies' boots, wool, knitting needles, and the Joxter's tobacco. And from outside came a blood-curdling, tafl-bristling howling and roaring.

Then all was silent.

Quite silent.

'Deaimedearmedearme,' said the Mymble. 'How many children have I left? Count them, dearest daughter!'

But before the Mymble's daughter had even begun her task we heard a well-known terrible voice that shouted: 'I see! Here you are, you dish-rags! By all that's grokely! Did you think you could give me the slip, what? Always forgetting to tell me where you're going, aren't you?'

'Who's that, now?' the Mymble asked.

'I'll give you three guesses,' said the Joxter.

And Edward the Booble thrust his head under water and looked in at us through a port-hole. We looked back at him as composedly as possible, and then we noticed a few small pieces of Sea-Hound floating about: a bit of tail and a bit of whisker and some flat pieces. Because Edward the Booble had happened to tread on him.

'Edward! My true friend!' Hodgkins cried.

'We'll never forget this! You saved us at the last moment!' I said.

'Give the kind gentleman a kiss, kiddies,' said the Mymble and started to cry.

'What's that?' Edward the Booble said. 'No kiddies, please. They always get in my ears. You gnats! I've stubbed my toes looking for you everywhere, and you're talking through your hats as usual.'

'You've trod on the Sea-Hound!' the Joxter cried.

'Eh?' said the Booble and jumped back. 'Somebody again? Believe me, it wasn't my fault. And I really haven't the money for any more funerals...'

He continued angrily: 'Anyway, why don't you keep

your old dogs out of harm's way! I simply refuse to pay for it'

And Edward the Booble went wading away. He looked deeply hurt. After a while he turned round and shouted: 'I'm coming for tea in the morning. And make it strong!'

Suddenly something happened.

All the sea lit up.

'We're burning,' said little My.

A million billion fishes came swimming from everywhere with blazing lanterns, pocket lights, searchlights, bull's-eyes, bulbs and acetylene lamps. The fishing-frog carried a bracket lamp in each ear, and everybody cheered like mad.

The bleak sea became illuminated with purple, red, and chrome-yellow sea anemones, and the serpents wheeled and turned somersaults.

We sailed home in triumph, criss-crossing over the Ocean, and we never quite knew whether the lights that shone through our port-holes were stars or fishes. Toward morning we sighted our island again, and by then most of us felt rather sleepy.

CHAPTER 8

In which I give an account of the circumstances of the Muddler's wedding, further touch on the dramatic night when I first met Moominmamma, and finally write the remarkable closing words of my Memoirs.

T
EN
miles (nautical) off the coast we sighted a dinghy carrying a signal of distress.

'It's the Autocrat,' I said in shocked tones. 'Do you think there can have been a revolution so early in the morning?'

'Revolution?' Hodgkins said and changed to full speed ahead. 'I hope my nephew's safe.'

'What's up?' the Mymble shouted when we reached the dinghy and it drew alongside.

'Up? Up!' Daddy Jones replied irritably. 'Everything's up. I mean, wrong. You'll have to come home at once.'

'Have the forgotten bones extracted their revenge at last?' asked the Island Ghost hopefully.

'It's your Muddler again,' the Autocrat panted as he climbed aboard. 'Take care of the dinghy, somebody! We came out to meet you Ourselves because We don't trust any of Our subjects.'

'The Muddler?' exclaimed the Joxter.

'Exactly,' replied the Autocrat. 'Of course We have nothing whatever against the marriage, but We won't stand for seven thousand Niblings and a savage Aunt in Our kingdom.'

'Who's marrying?' the Mymble asked.

'The Muddler, silly,' replied the Autocrat.

'Impossible,' Hodgkins said.

'Impossible or not, the wedding's today,' Daddy Jones answered.

'Who's the girl?' I cried, unable to hide my surprise.

'A Fuzzy,' said the King. 'Full speed ahead, please! Well, they fell head over heels in love at first sight, and they've been swapping buttons and running about holding hands and being generally silly ever since, and now they've sent a telegram to an aunt (but the Muddler says she's possibly eaten) and to seven thousand Niblings and invited them all to the wedding. And of course Our kingdom's in grave danger. The Niblings eat anything! Give Us a glass of wine, please!'

'Could it be that they've invited the Hemulen Aunt?' I asked, greatly shocked, and handed the Autocrat his drink.

'I suppose so,' he replied. 'An aunt with only half a snout and ill-tempered into the bargain. We are all for surprises but We like to make them Ourselves.'

We were nearing the coast.

At the end of the pier the Muddler was standing with the Fuzzy at his side.

'Well?' Hodgkins said and put in at the pier.

'Excuse me!' the Muddler cried. 'I'm married!'

'Me too!' the Fuzzy said and dropped a curtsey.

'But We told you to wait until the afternoon, didn't We?' exclaimed the Autocrat. 'Now you've spoiled the big wedding party!'

'Excuse us, please, we couldn't wait,' said the Muddler. 'We're so much in love!'

'Oh dear me, dear me!' cried the Mymble and rushed over the gangway. 'The best of luck to you both! What a sweet little Fuzzy! Give them three cheers, kiddies, they're married already!'

'They're past helping now,' said little My.

*

At this point Moominpappa was cut short by Sniff who sat up in his bed and cried: 'Stop!'

'Father's reading about his youth,' said Moomintroll reproachingly.

'And about
my
daddy's youth,' replied Sniff with unexpected dignity. 'I've heard a lot about the Muddler so far. But this is the first time I have heard about a Fuzzy!'

'I've forgotten to tell you,' said Moominpappa unhappily.

'You forgot my
mother!
' Sniff cried.

The door to the bedroom opened and Moominmamma looked in.