The Fairy's Return and Other Princess Tales (9 page)

The crocodile princess sat between the king and queen. Nicholas hated the way she ate. She seemed to swallow her food without chewing. And she kept looking at him and licking her lips.

Nicholas excused himself from the table. He went out to the garden and picked up a few large rocks. Then he slipped back into the castle and headed for Lorelei's bedchamber. He'd put the rocks under the top mattress, where she'd be sure to feel them.

But he couldn't get in. The Chief Royal Guard stood in front of the door. Nicholas tried to send him on an errand, but the fellow said that the king had told him not to budge for anyone or any person.

So then Nicholas said he'd leave a note for Princess Lorelei. But the Chief Royal Guard said, “Begging your pardon, Your Highness, no notes. I have my orders.”

Nicholas couldn't do anything. By this time tomorrow either he'd be engaged to Lorelei, or Percival would be the future King of Biddle. Or he'd be engaged to the crocodile princess!

Twelve

N
icholas couldn't sleep. One second he was full of hope. She'd passed all the tests so far! The next second he was in despair. Nobody could feel a pea through all those mattresses. And the crocodile princess had a better chance than Lorelei. After all, the crocodile princess was a real princess, not a blacksmith's daughter.

But it didn't matter. If Lorelei failed, he'd marry her anyway. And his parents would have fits. And Percival would get the throne. He tossed. He turned. He finally slept, and he dreamed of being eaten by crocodiles and drowned in peas.

When Lorelei entered her room, she wondered why her bed had so many mattresses. Last night it had been an ordinary bed. She shrugged. Maybe they wanted her to have an extra-good night's sleep before the big test.

She climbed the ladder and slipped under the sheets. The bed was the softest she'd ever been in. She stretched and wriggled her toes. Mmm. Lovely!

“S
HE WONDERED WHY HER BED HAD SO MANY MATTRESSES
.”

The prince was so nice! Even if he weren't a prince, even if he were a blacksmith, she'd love him. But he
was
a prince, and that was even better.

She rolled over. She couldn't get comfortable. The sheets felt all right. Satin. Satin was good. The blankets were velvet. Velvet was good.

She closed her eyes.

Something was wrong. Her nose itched and her back ached. She climbed down from the bed and looked at it.

It had to be the mattresses. Maybe there was a pigeon feather in one of them. But which one? There were so many.

She'd never fall asleep. She'd be up all night. Then she wouldn't be at her best for the big test tomorrow. Maybe she could stretch out in front of the fireplace.

She spread a blanket on the floor and laid another one on top of it. Then she got in between them and closed her eyes. The hours crawled by. The floor was hard, but you expected a floor to be uncomfortable. You didn't expect it from a bed piled with twenty mattresses.

Lorelei turned over on her stomach. No better. She rolled back. Could she, Lorelei, actually become a princess? She'd passed every test so far. If she married Prince Nicholas, she'd live in a castle. And so would her father. She giggled. Trudy would be a real lady-in-waiting.

Trudy! She sat up. She'd forgotten to find out if Trudy had gotten home safely. What kind of queen would she make if she couldn't remember her subjects?

She lay down again. She'd ask first thing in the morning. What could the test tomorrow be like? Would they ask her questions? She didn't know anything about being a princess. She didn't know much about being a blacksmith's daughter either.

What if they asked her about laws! About geography! About how to sit on a throne! Lorelei was awake all night.

In the morning the Chief Royal Chambermaid led the two maidens to the throne room. Lorelei's bones ached, and the skin under her gown was black and blue.

King Humphrey and Queen Hermione and Prince Nicholas were sitting on their thrones. All the courtiers and subjects had been cleared out for the big moment.

The first thing Lorelei wanted to do was to find out about Trudy. Then she'd take whatever test they wanted. She'd probably fail it. But at least she'd know about Trudy.

The other maiden looked so rested and . . . Lorelei hated to admit it, but the other one was beautiful. Maybe by now Nicholas wanted her to win.

“Good morning, princesses or damsels,” the king boomed.

“Did you sleep—” the queen began.

“Did you find out—” Lorelei began.

The doors to the throne room burst open. A man rushed in carrying a child in his arms. Lorelei thought the little boy didn't look right.

King Humphrey stood. “What or why—”

“Sire! I am a poor woodcutter! My son is sick, and I have no money to pay a wisewoman to cure him. I have nowhere to turn, except to you.”

“Oh dear,” Lorelei said. She ran to the child. “Does your forehead pulse?”

The boy nodded.

“Oh dear. Does it hurt to—”

Nicholas interrupted. “If you were a princess here,” he asked the crocodile princess, “what would you do?”

This is the test! Lorelei thought. Maybe the boy wasn't really sick. But he looked sick.

The crocodile princess said, “They should be forbidden to trouble you with their problems. This man and his son must be put to death. That will cure the boy.” And she smiled her slow smile.

“What would you do, Princess Lorelei?” Nicholas asked.

What was she supposed to say? Did that horrible one give the right answer? But if you couldn't help people—if you had to
kill
them to make them leave you alone—then she, Lorelei, didn't want to be a princess.

But then she'd have to give Nicholas up.

Well, it didn't matter what the right answer was. Somebody was sick! “Oh dear. I used to get sick when I was a little—uh—princess. I still do sometimes.” She turned to the queen. “Do you have any betony?” Lorelei was sure she was ruining everything, because the queen looked so upset. “I need the leaves of the chaste tree, too. If you don't have that, some bugloss will do. Where's the kitchen?”

Queen Hermione didn't know what to say. So she rang for the Chief Royal Serving Maid.

“Princess Lorelei would be kind to our subjects, Father,” Nicholas said, while they waited for the serving maid. “Whether or not she can feel a pea under twenty mattresses.” He dropped to his knees so hard, he thought he had broken a kneecap. “Ouch!”

“Oh dear,” Lorelei said. A pea? What was he talking about?

“My darling princess.” Nicholas took Lorelei's hand. “Will you marry me?”

“Oh dear. Yes, I'll marry you. We'll need hot water. Does your stomach ache?” she asked the boy.

He nodded.

“Did you sleep or rest well last night, Princess Lorelei?” the king asked. He had to know, even though everything had gotten confused or mixed up.

“No,” Lorelei said. “I couldn't get comfortable. So I slept on the floor.”

“The pea!” said the queen.

“The pea or bean,” said the king.

“Darling!” said the prince.

Epilogue

L
orelei cured the woodcutter's son. King Humphrey and Queen Hermione gave their consent or permission to the marriage of Prince Nicholas and Princess Lorelei.

On their wedding day Nicholas wore a doublet embroidered with parsley, a shirt embroidered with tape measures, and hose embroidered with noodles. Lorelei's hood and veil were embroidered with tuna fish. Her bodice was embroidered with green peas, and her skirt and train were embroidered with tiny mattresses.

Trudy (who was perfectly safe, of course) was furious that she hadn't gotten rid of Lorelei. But when she moved into the castle, the other Royal Servants showed her the good side of serving a bunch of persnickety monarchs. She learned to agree with them over a dinner of cream of asparagus soup, venison crown roast, and twelve-layer mocha-raspberry cake.

When Sam returned from the earldom of Pildenue, he moved into the palace too. He never understood exactly how Lorelei had become a princess. And he couldn't for the life of him understand why everyone called him Lord Blacksmith. But he liked living in a palace and shoeing the king's wonderful horses.

So they all lived happily ever after.

To Sylvia, my real fairy godmother.

—G.C.L.

One

W
hat a hideous baby, the fairy Arabella thought. She said, “My gift to Sonora is beauty.” She touched the baby's yellow squooshed-up face with her wand.

The baby began to change. Her scrawny arms and legs became plump, and her blotchy yellow skin turned pink. Her pointy head became round. Honey-colored ringlets appeared on her scalp.

Ouch! It hurt to have your body change shape and to grow hair on your head in ten seconds. Sonora wailed.

King Humphrey II of Biddle thought, Why did the fairy do that? As his first-born child—as his lovey dovey oodle boodle baby—she had been fine the way she was. But he bowed low to the fairy. “Thank you, Arabella. What a wonderful gift.” A person could get into a lot of trouble for failing to thank a fairy.

Queen Hermione II picked up the yowling baby and cuddled her. Then she curtsied deeply and thanked the fairy too, even though she wanted to wail along with her daughter. Sonora looks six months old, the queen thought. I wanted to watch her grow.

Gradually Sonora stopped crying, and her mother put her back into the gilded cradle. Time for the second fairy gift.

The fairy Allegra waved her wand over the baby. “I give Sonora the gift of a loving heart.”

Something was happening again, Sonora realized. But this was better. This didn't hurt. She pictured the tall being and the soft being who fed her and held her and made noises to her. They were nice! She loved them! She said, “Goo,” and blew a wet bubble.

Adorable! King Humphrey II thought.

Sweet! Queen Hermione II thought.

“My turn!” The fairy Adalissia stepped up to the cradle.

Adalissia gave Sonora gracefulness. Then the fairy Annadora gave her good health, and the fairy Antonetta made her the smartest human in the world.

Not much changed when Sonora got good health, since she was healthy already. And not much changed when she got gracefulness, because month-old babies don't have much opportunity to be graceful. But something did happen when Antonetta made her a smart person. Sonora listened more closely when the nice beings thanked the fairy. She noticed her own name and knew that she'd heard it before.

Aurora, the sixth fairy, was flustered. She had planned to make Sonora the smartest person in the world, but that miserable Antonetta had stolen her gift. Now what could she give the baby? She could make the child beautiful. But no, Arabella had already used that one. Adalissia had done gracefulness. What was left? They were all looking at her. They were laughing behind their sympathetic faces, glad they had been at the head of the line.

“Er . . .” Aurora waved her wand vaguely. Then she had it. It was so simple. It was much better than Antonetta's. She leaned over the cradle and touched Sonora on the nose with her wand. “My gift is brilliance. Sonora is ten times as smart as any human in the world.” There.

Sonora felt something happen again, a tickle and a little shake inside her head. Then—it was done. She closed her eyes to think, really think, for the first time. She listened to the noise the tall being was making. She remembered all the noises people had made with their mouths since she'd been born. Some of the noises sounded alike. Some of them always went together.

Now the soft being was making noises. They were words! The noises were words. She was thanking the fairy for her gift. She was hoping that Sonora (that's me! that's me!) would use her extraordinary intelligence well.

Sonora opened her eyes. The soft being was her mother. She was beautiful, with her big brown eyes and those lips that liked to smile at Sonora. Of course she loved her mother, since the fairy had just given her a loving heart. Sonora wondered why the fairy had done that. Didn't she think Sonora might be naturally loving?