The Fairy's Return and Other Princess Tales (11 page)

Sonora didn't learn everything by reading and thinking. She also learned from the people around her. As soon as she could walk, she followed the Royal Dairymaids everywhere and asked them a million questions about milking. She watched the Chief Royal Blacksmith and asked him questions. She spent days in the kitchen with the Chief Royal Cook, until the Chief Royal Cook wanted to pound Sonora on her Royal Head with the Royal Frying Pan.

Once she found out everything the Royal Dairymaids knew about milking or the Chief Royal Blacksmith knew about smithing or the Chief Royal Cook knew about cooking, Sonora would get to work. She'd read every book there was on the subject. Then she'd think, and soon she'd come up with a better or faster way to milk or smith or cook or do anything else.

She'd be very excited. If it was the middle of the night, she wouldn't be able to wait until morning to talk about her discovery, so she'd wake her parents up. This was always a disappointment. The king and queen were too sleepy to listen, and sometimes they were grumpy about being awakened. The king even raised his voice once, when she woke him to say she'd found a way to grow skinless potatoes, which would save hours of peeling.

Sonora would imagine the joy her improvements would bring the Chief Royal Farmer or the Chief Royal Cook or the Royal Dairymaids. But she'd be wrong—they were hardly ever pleased. They liked doing things the way they were used to, and they didn't like being told how to do their business by a Royal Pipsqueak no bigger than a mosquito bite.

“S
HE FOLLOWED THE
R
OYAL
D
AIRYMAIDS EVERYWHERE AND ASKED THEM A MILLION QUESTIONS
.”

Sonora couldn't understand it. She knew that the purpose of dairymaids was more than to milk cows. They were people, and people had lots of purposes. If her brain hadn't told her that, her loving heart would have. But part of their purpose was to get milk from cows, so she couldn't understand why they didn't want to do it in the best way possible.

In fact, nobody was nearly as interested in what Sonora knew as she wanted them to be. Even her mother wasn't. Often, while the queen wrote out menu plans, Sonora would talk about her latest research.

And for the thousandth time the queen would wish that Aurora had thought of a different gift. A simple one would have been fine, Queen Hermione II would think. An excellent sense of smell would have been good, or a pretty singing voice, which didn't run in the family. She and Humphrey II both sounded like frogs.

Then the queen would try not to yawn. What was the child telling her now? How to build the fastest sailboat in the world? But Biddle was landlocked, and even its lakes were small. A
slow
sailboat could cross the biggest one pretty quickly. Queen Hermione II's eyes would close then, and her handwriting on the menu would wobble.

And Sonora would feel terrible, even though she'd know her mother didn't mean to hurt her feelings.

It would be the same with the king. He'd be deciding which squires were ready to be knighted, for example. Meanwhile, she'd start telling him about a book she'd read, a book that had been in his library forever without his ever wanting to read a word of it.

He'd say, “Sonora, sweet, we're not as smart as you are. We can't think about knights and dwindling—um, dwindling what? What's dwindling, cutie pie?”

“Dwindling unicorn habitats.”

“That's right, darling. Tell us about it later when we're not so busy.”

Sonora would leave then, knowing that her father hoped she'd never mention a unicorn to him again—with or without a dwindling habitat.

A new proverb sprang up in Biddle. Whenever a Biddler asked a question that nobody could answer, someone would say, “Princess Sonora knows.” Then somebody else would say, “But don't ask her.”

And everybody would laugh.

Four

W
hen Sonora was six, she read every book she could find on the art of picking locks. Then, on a dark night, she stole out of the castle and went to the shed that held the spindles and the other sharp things. The moment had come for her to get her very own spindle so she'd be able to prick herself when the time was right.

She set to work, ignoring the sign on the door that said, “Keep out! Do not enter! Private property! Danger! Get out of here!” It took her exactly twelve minutes to pick all ten locks and another fifteen minutes to very carefully remove the spindle from the first spinning wheel she came to. When that was done, she picked the spindle up with the tongs from the nursery fireplace and carried it very carefully back to the nursery, where she dropped it in the bottom of her toy chest. She left it there, under the toys her parents had gotten for the child they expected to have—the one who wasn't ten times as smart as anybody else.

Every year King Humphrey II and Queen Hermione II made a birthday party for Sonora, which never turned out well. The party for Sonora's tenth birthday began like all the rest. The lads and lasses had come only because they had to. They stood around in the tournament field, feeling silly in their party caps. Sonora tried to be a good hostess and make them feel comfortable, but every subject she brought up fell flat. Nobody wanted to discuss whether fairies and elves should obey Biddle's laws, or who was happier, all things being equal, the knight or his horse.

Nobody wanted to play any games either. They had played hide-and-seek last year, and Sonora had told them how to play it better. It had taken months to forget her advice and get their good old game back. The year before that she had ruined blindman's buff.

They all sighed, including Sonora. It would be hours before she could return to her latest project, finding out why things had colors.

Then she had an inspiration. She called for ink, quill pens, and parchment for everyone. When the supplies came, she began to interview each guest in turn. Sonora listened and took notes while everybody who wasn't being interviewed grumbled about how stupid and boring this was.

When the last guest had been interviewed, Sonora cleared her throat nervously. This was the first time she had spoken before an assembly. She said, “Silence.” Gradually everybody got quiet. “From my notes, I see that none of you enjoys doing chores.”

The lads and lasses groaned. Now the know-it-all was going to tell them how to be better children.

“Here are seven good ways to avoid doing them.”

The lads and lasses began to write as fast as they could. During the rest of that wonderful party, which flew by much too quickly for everybody, Sonora told them how to stay out late to play, how to get even with their enemies and not get caught, how not to eat food they didn't like, and how not to go to bed at bedtime (Sonora's specialty).

When the party was over, Sonora told the guests to bring their homework next year and she'd do it for them. As they left, everyone told the king and queen that it had been the best party ever. King Humphrey II and Queen Hermione II were delighted. They told Sonora she'd be a popular queen someday.

But Sonora knew better. When the lads and lasses grew up to be Royal Bakers or Royal Chimney Sweeps, they'd dislike her advice as much as their parents did. And they'd laugh and say the proverb to each other. “Princess Sonora knows, but don't ask her.”

The evening after the party, Sonora moved out of the nursery to her own grown-up bedchamber, which had only one thing wrong with it—a bed. Sonora had argued that she didn't need a bed and didn't want a bed and disliked beds very much. It didn't matter, though. She was stuck with it.

Late that night, when everybody else was asleep, she used her new fireplace tongs to carry the spindle very carefully from the toy chest in the nursery to the floor of her new wardrobe. She shoved it all the way to the back and covered it with a pile of the nightdresses she refused to wear.

Then she tried to forget about the spindle and a hundred years of sleep.

The right time for Sonora to prick herself didn't come. And the more time passed, the less she wanted to do it. She was only a little frightened by the hundred years. What she was most afraid of was sleep.

She hadn't slept at all since the fairy Aurora made her so smart. She'd seen her mother sleep, usually when Sonora was trying to explain something. She'd seen her father fall asleep while listening to the Royal Minstrels after dinner. Sometimes Sonora yawned when they sang, but then she'd sit up extra straight and open her eyes extra wide. She'd stay awake because sleeping people were scary. They were right in the room with you, sort of. Their bodies were, but their minds weren't, which was creepy. Sonora loved her mind, and she wanted to know where it was at all times.

When Sonora was fourteen, King Humphrey II and Queen Hermione II decided on a husband for her, if she didn't prick herself before the wedding. They chose Prince Melvin XX, heir apparent to the throne of the neighboring kingdom of Kulornia. He was the ideal choice. Kulornia was even bigger and richer than Biddle. Sonora would be queen over a vast empire.

King Humphrey II sent a dispatch to King Stanley CXLIV, the prince's father. He also sent a portrait of Sonora. King Stanley CXLIV sent back his answer.

King Humphrey II opened the dispatch and read it. “King Stanley CXLIV has agreed to the wedding,” he told Sonora and Queen Hermione II. “The prince is coming for a visit.” A piece of foolscap fell to the marble floor of the throne room. King Humphrey II picked it up. “Oh, look. Here's a letter from the prince.” He started reading.

My dear Princess,

My father, King Stanley CXLIV, says I'm going to marry you. I believe him. He always tells the truth, so I believe him. If he were a liar, I wouldn't.

King Humphrey II nodded. “He sounds sensible.”

He sounds like a fool, Sonora thought.

The king went on reading.

I believe in honesty. The fairies made me Honest when I was born. Besides, I do what my father tells me. If he says to marry someone, I marry her. I'm Traditional. The fairies made me that too when I was born. Below is a list of all the other things they made me.

1. Brave.

2. Handsome.

3. Strong.

4. A Man of Action. (I used to be a Baby of Action.)

5. A Good Dancer.

6. Tall.

Plus Honest and Traditional, as shown above. I trust you will find me as described.

Honestly,
              

Prince Melvin XX

“Sweetheart!” Queen Hermione II said. “He's just right for you. He's handsome and you're beautiful. He's a good dancer and you're graceful.” They would have so much to share. The queen felt weepy. Her baby was leaving her.

Sonora also felt weepy. They had nothing in common. Nothing important. The fairies hadn't made him smart. They hadn't given him a loving heart. Was it time to get out the spindle and prick herself?

Five

I
n her room, Sonora reached into her wardrobe. She touched the nightdresses that covered the spindle. Her heart raced. The moment had come.

But she didn't want to go to sleep.

Maybe the moment hadn't come. Maybe Prince Melvin XX wasn't so bad. His letter was so bad. But maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was just not a talented writer. He probably wasn't brilliant, but that might not matter. At least people wouldn't make up horrible proverbs about not asking him the things he knew. Besides, maybe he was really wonderful.

He couldn't be.

Maybe he was. If she went to sleep now, she'd never find out. He'd get old and die before she woke up. And she'd have missed the great romance of her life.

It wouldn't hurt to find out. He was coming soon. She could always prick herself after she met him.

Prince Melvin XX came, following forty pages blowing trumpets. Sonora met him in the courtyard as he stepped down from his carriage. Probably he was handsome, but he was so tall she could hardly see his face, because it was too far away. He had dark hair and broad shoulders. She couldn't tell what color his eyes were. She'd have to wait to see them when he sat down.

She curtsied.

He bowed. He thought, I guess she's pretty. She's puny though. The fairies didn't make her Tall.

They had no chance to talk because they had to hurry to a banquet in the prince's honor. Sonora sat at one end of the banquet table with her mother. Prince Melvin XX sat with her father at the other end.

The prince ate, chewing very slowly. Sonora watched his mouth. He ate more slowly than anyone she had ever seen before. While he ate, he talked to the king. The prince spoke so slowly that King Humphrey II forgot the beginning of each sentence by the time Prince Melvin XX got to the end. Prince Melvin XX told the king about every second of his journey to Biddle. He explained how he had decided on each item he had brought from Kulornia. He said what he had been doing when his father had agreed to the marriage.