The Fairy's Return and Other Princess Tales (14 page)

They all breathed in and out at the same time. After a hundred years, they must have gotten into the habit of breathing together. That was what made the rumble.

Christopher went to each of them. He yelled in their ears. He shook them. He hollered, “Fire!” He yelled, “Food! Aren't you hungry?”

He yelled to the wagon driver and the oxen on the moat. But he was afraid to go to them. The drawbridge was rotting. If he stepped out on it, it might give way.

He tried to wake the dog, lying with his head on a bone. He tried to wake the cat. He told her about the huge rat that had run across his boot. The cat and the dog, Christopher decided, were sleeping because they were pets. The rats weren't pets, so they were awake.

Anyway, nothing worked. He couldn't wake anybody up.

What if Sonora wouldn't wake up either?

Ten

T
he castle doors were halfway off their hinges, so Christopher was able to open them only wide enough to slip through. Inside, he heard the flapping of wings. Bats. Birds too, from the droppings in the dust on the floor. He sneezed. He looked behind him, and there were his footsteps, sunk into a hundred years of dust. He took another step. His boots didn't make a sound because of the dust.

It was dim in here, in the great hall. The sunlight was weak through the grimy stained-glass windows. Even the broken windows didn't let in much light, because they were draped with cobwebs.

He crossed the hall. Where should he look first for Sonora, and how would he know her when he saw her?

People were everywhere, just as they would be on a busy day in Kulornia castle. “Wake up! Wake up!” he shouted. Nothing happened. He had stopped expecting anything, but he kept trying.

He shouted at everybody. But he shook only the women, and only women who looked like they might be a princess. He didn't bother with somebody who was making a bed or stirring an empty pot. He tried not to touch anybody with his hands. The people were all so filthy.

Nobody on the first floor would wake up, and it was probably useless to go upstairs and search the bedchambers. They had fallen asleep in the middle of the day, so why would anyone be in bed? But he had come all this way, and he had waited all his life to get his questions answered. Besides, he couldn't leave even if he wanted to, because of the hedge. He returned to the great hall and climbed the staircase.

Most of the bedchambers were empty. But Christopher found King Humphrey II and Queen Hermione II on the bed in the royal bedchamber. It was sweet, Christopher thought. They were holding hands. The king snored so loudly that he probably made half the rumbling. What was left of the curtains fluttered whenever he breathed out.

Finally Christopher came to Sonora's bedchamber. Finally he came to Sonora.

Generations of spiders had spun webs from post to post of her four-poster bed. Sonora slept under hundreds of layers of spiderwebs. The prince didn't know she was Sonora. All he knew was she was disgusting.

But she was probably noble, since she was on such a grand bed, or what used to be a grand bed. She might even be a princess. He had to do something. He coughed. Ahem.

Nothing happened.

He pulled out his sword and cut through the webs, which was a mistake. They all fell on top of her. Ugh. He brushed them away as well as he could with his cloak.

What was that on her stomach? Hmm, a wooden sign. He picked it up with his cloak and brushed it off. Dust and cobwebs and peeling paint came off. Drat! I should have been more careful, he thought.

He carried the sign to the window, where a broken pane let in a bit of sunlight. The paint had flaked off, but the wood was lighter where the paint had been. He could read it.

I am Princess Sonora. Kiss me, prince, and I shall be yours forever.

He didn't want her
forever
! And he certainly didn't want to
kiss
her.

Maybe he could live without getting his questions answered. He could train himself not to care so much. He'd hack his way through the hedge even if it took a month. They could find some other way to cure the sheep.

But what about all the people in the castle? And Princess Sonora, as sickening as she was? If he left, would they sleep till the end of time?

Let some other prince kiss her. Somebody who didn't mind getting ook and yuck and vech all over his face.

Who would that be?

Maybe he didn't have to kiss her. He touched her lips with the hilt of his sword. “Princess? Wake up. Your prince just kissed you.”

Nothing happened.

He bent over her. He'd do it. But she wasn't going to be his forever.

What was that on her cheek and in the corner of her mouth? Spit? Bird droppings? Ugh!

He straightened up and turned to leave. He couldn't do it. He couldn't kiss her.

Eleven

“P
eople float . . .”

Christopher whirled around. She was talking. She was awake!

Her eyes were closed. “People float because their essences . . .”

She was talking in her sleep. She had a sweet voice—a little hoarse, but sweet.

“People float because their essences are equal parts water and air. Stones sink . . .”

Even in her sleep she knew things! Sonora knows. And she was Sonora. And he was going to ask her everything.

He kissed her. He didn't think about it. He just did it. It wasn't so bad.

It was suddenly quiet. Oh, Christopher thought, they're all awake.

“Sleep is pleasant.” Sonora's voice was thoughtful. “Hmm. The purpose of eyelids is to cover your eyes. If you didn't sleep, your eyelids would have little reason to close, except when the sun was too bright. But then you could just put your hands over your eyes. That's right. If you didn't have sleep, you wouldn't need eyelids, so you have to have sleep. I made a mistake before.”

Christopher was thrilled. She was answering questions he'd never even thought of!

She raised her head. “It's hard to open my eyes. I knew this would happen. My eyelids are covered with cobwebs and worse, aren't they?” She sat up slowly. “Do you have any clean water?”

“No. I'm sorry.”

She opened her eyes and smiled at him. “You're dirty too.”

Her eyes were big and gray, and her teeth were white against her dirty skin. Her teeth looked clean. The inside of her mouth was probably clean too, so she wasn't dirty all over.

He looks nice, Sonora thought. There was something smiley about him. He was sort of handsome, but mostly he looked nice.

He bowed. “I'm Prince Christopher.”

Through the broken window, they heard people calling to each other.

She stood and swept a graceful curtsy. “I am Sonora.”

“The sheep of some of our shepherds are getting bald. Do you know why?”

“Baldness in sheep is caused by scissor ants.”

She did know! “Really! What cures it?”

“String is their favorite food, not fleece. To get the scissor ants off the sheep, the shepherds have to put big balls of string near where the sheep graze. The ants will leave the sheep and go to the string. Then the shepherds can take the string and the ants away and get rid of them.”

This was wonderful! “Do you like to answer questions?”

She smiled again. “I love to answer questions.” Then she looked sad. “Only nobody likes to listen. They don't even like to ask.”

“I love to ask, and I love to listen.”

They smiled at each other.

The sign says she's mine forever, Christopher thought. I like that.

Sonora read the sign in Christopher's hand. That fairy Adrianna! The nerve of her! Sonora was about to say something nasty, but being so smart came to her rescue. She'd never exactly
belong
to anyone anyway, so it would be all right if the sign gave Christopher a good idea.

It did. He knelt on the dusty, cobwebby, bird-dropping-covered floor. “Will you marry me?”

Sonora started to say yes. Her loving heart loved this prince.

There were footsteps in the corridor.

She remembered. Prince Melvin XX!

The door opened. King Humphrey II and Queen Hermione II rushed in.

“Are you all right, dear?” the queen asked.

“You're dirty too,” the king said. “Who's this?”

“T
HE ANTS WILL LEAVE THE SHEEP AND GO TO THE STRING
.”

“He's Prince Christopher,” Sonora said. “The sheep in his country are going bald from scissor ants.”

Christopher stood up and bowed. “I am Christopher, crown prince of Greater Kulornia, and I've just asked the princess to marry me.”

“But Melvin XX is crown prince of Kulornia,” Queen Hermione II said.

Prince Melvin XX? Christopher thought. But he disappeared ages ago. Oh! He fell asleep too.

“Our daughter is betrothed to him. He—” King Humphrey II stopped in confusion. What did this fellow say about Greater Kulornia? Where did the “greater” come from?

Sonora said to Christopher, “Since one of the purposes of sheep is to make wool, you might wonder if a bald sheep is still a sheep.”

Christopher nodded eagerly. “Is it?”

She nodded. “It is, because its other purpose is to become mutton stew, and it can still do that.”

“That hadn't occurred to me.” He couldn't stop smiling at her.

There were slow, heavy steps in the corridor.

Here he comes! Sonora thought. What can I do?

Prince Melvin XX came in, ducking to get through the doorway. “I fell asleep,” he said slowly. “I'm dirty. My hose are torn. So is my doublet. So is my crown. So are—” He saw Christopher. “Who is he?”

Christopher bowed. “I am Christopher, crown prince of Greater Kulornia.” Did Sonora want to marry this guy?

Prince Melvin XX drew his sword—
fast!
“I'm crown prince of Kulornia.” But he still spoke slowly.

Sonora thought, Put that sword away! Don't hurt Prince Christopher!

Christopher thought, He probably won't kill me if I don't draw my sword. “And I just asked Princess Sonora to marry me.”

Prince Melvin XX thought, I can't kill him if he doesn't draw his sword. I'm not a Bully. I'm a Man of Action. I used to be a Baby of . . .

Nobody said anything. Prince Melvin XX lowered his sword.

Sonora felt a little better. At least it wasn't pointing straight at Prince Christopher anymore. She thought, I can think of a way out of this. I'm not ten times as smart as anybody else for nothing.

Prince Melvin XX said, “I'm betrothed to Princess Sonora—”

Sonora had it! “Sir Melvin XX—”

“I'm Prince Melvin XX. Not Sir.”

Sonora shook her head. “We slept for a hundred years, so you're not a prince anymore and I'm not a princess. You were betrothed to Princess Sonora, not to just plain Sonora. Right?”

“I don't know,” said Prince or just plain Melvin XX.

She doesn't want to marry that great big tree trunk, Christopher thought. But does she want to marry me?

The king wondered if he was still a king, if Sonora wasn't a princess.

Sonora smiled at Melvin XX. “Your nature is to be strong and courageous.”

Melvin XX nodded. “And Traditional and—”

She went on. “You will be a wonderful, traditional knight. You can have adventures and be brave and strong—”

“And Tall.”

“And tall. I'm sure Prince Christopher would make you a knight.”

Christopher didn't wait for Melvin XX to say yes or no. Usually Christopher did his dubbing with his sword. But he was afraid to draw it, because Melvin XX still had his out. So Christopher reached way way up. With his naked, dirty hand he touched Melvin XX on his forehead.

“I, Prince Christopher, dub you Sir Melvin XX, knight of Greater Kulornia.”

“Now you won't need me to write your proclamations,” Sonora said.

Sir Melvin XX said, “I will be a good knight. A Brave knight. A Strong—”

Christopher knelt. “I've always been curious, but I've never wanted to know anything as much as this. Will you marry me, just plain Sonora?”

“Yes, I will.” She nodded and took his hand. “In case you were wondering, sheep grow wool because of winter. The purpose of winter is to make ice, so people can have cherry or lemon ices in the summer. The purpose of wool is to keep sheep and then people warm while the ice is being made.”

“Really? That makes so much sense.”

She looks so happy, Queen Hermione II thought.

“Are we still a king?” King Humphrey II asked.

“Of course,” Christopher said, standing up. He'd work it out somehow.

Then it's all right, King Humphrey II thought. “In that case, we approve of the marriage. An excellent match.”

Epilogue

A
s soon as King Humphrey II said he approved of the marriage, a gust of wind blew through the bedchamber, and the fairy Adrianna appeared. She beamed at everyone and crowed, “My gift was the best!” Then she married Sonora and Christopher on the spot.