The Fall (26 page)

“What?” he said, closing the door behind him, his head tilted to the side, a small smile on his lips.

He stood still, watching me and waiting for my response.

My answer was a heated look as I took my earrings out. I sat on the edge of my couch, unzipping my boots slowly as I kept my eyes trained on his. He took a step away from the door, still completely transfixed on me. I stopped his next step by crisscrossing my arms at the hem of my dress and pulling it over my head. His eyes caught fire as he took in my black lace bra and panty set.

“Dallas,” he exhaled as my now unhooked bra fell to the floor. I stood up, completely bared to him in just the small triangle of lace covering my front.

I walked toward him, wrapping my arms around his neck above me, running my fingers through the back of his hair, and pressing my bare breasts against his chest.

“I remember you, Dean Martin, very, very well.” I kissed him softly on his parted lips. “But tonight isn’t about then.”

“Dallas,” he said hoarsely as he looked over my body. “I don’t know if I can rip myself away from you despite your answer, but Josh—”

I shook my head as he read me, then I was in his arms in an instant. He walked to my bedroom, setting me down gently on the bed, his hands behind my head. Crystal blue eyes raked my body as he caressed my skin.

“Jesus, Dallas,” he rasped out as my nipple peaked before his mouth claimed it. He sucked greedily as I arched my back off the bed, moaning his name. His eyes shot up to mine in recognition, filled with emotion as he backed away, kneeling on the bed as he unbuttoned his shirt. I sat up, helping him as he kept his eyes glued to mine. I slid his shirt off his shoulders as he gripped my chin with one hand, sliding his thumb across my lips. He had yet to kiss me. I kissed his passing thumb and caught it with my teeth, sucking on it slowly. I was rewarded with a deep growl. He pushed me on my back as he stood up, unbuttoning his pants and letting them fall slowly away from him. He hesitated only a second before his boxers followed, his eyes never leaving mine. He stood at the foot of the bed and leaned forward, hooking my panties with his pointer fingers and dragging them slowly down my body before adding them to the growing pile on the floor.

The bed dipped with his weight as he hovered above me. He said nothing as I opened my self to him, hooking his calves with my legs. He sank down, taking residence between my thighs, his beautiful and impressive length making me gasp out as it nudged my entrance. I waited on Dean as he drank me in.

After several moments, Dean leaned down slowly and took my lips. The contact made me cry out as I felt the moisture and need build between my thighs. I opened for him as he plunged his tongue inside my mouth, kissing me thoroughly until my body was begging for him. When he’d had his fill, he pulled away from my lips, keeping my eyes on his while his fingers found my sex. He exhaled harshly when he found me swollen and ready for him.

“I’ve dreamt about this for so long,” he whispered as he took my lips again then pulled back, his eyes darkening with desire as he thrust into me fully in one sweeping movement. We both cried out, the feeling of our connection overwhelming. As hard as I tried, I could not stop the tears that ran down my temple. My lips trembled as he thrust into me slowly and with so much friction, I sank my fingers into his skin.

“Don’t cry, Dally,” he pleaded, slowing his hips to stroke my face.

“It feels so good,” I whispered back as another set of well-earned tears escaped me. “Please, don’t stop.”

He placed his lips on mine as I trembled against him, my entire body waking up and welcoming him. He moaned out, his control slipping as he kissed my chin then buried his lips in my neck, licking and sucking.

“Dean,” I croaked out, my legs shaking uncontrollably as my release approached.

“Let go,” he said gently. “I want to watch you come.” He thrust upward, hitting me so deeply that I burst around him in complete ecstasy. “Oh, God, Dean,” I cried, my tears impossible to hold back as he picked my bottom half up and stroked me exquisitely slow until I had no choice but let go again.

He sat up with us still connected and guided my arms around his neck. I moaned as I tightened my legs around his waist, pulling him in deeper. He picked me up by my hips and pulled me back down, slowly grinding every hard inch of himself inside me. “You’re everything to me, Dallas,” he declared before claiming my lips in a slow kiss as he pumped out his orgasm, filling me. “Everything.”

We lay curled up, neither of us speaking. I could tell he wanted to say something, but I didn’t utter a word to encourage him. He stroked my back with his skilled hands as I tilted my head up to study his face. I traced his jaw with my fingertips and trailed them down to his chest as I tucked in closer, breathing him in. It felt so natural to hold him this way and I felt completely comfortable and sated in his arms.

“Dallas...anything I say won’t be good enough. I got caught up in the life I was living. I never forgot.”

“Don’t,” I protested, immediately pulling myself away then grabbing his shirt off of the floor before slipping it on.

“Dallas...please talk to me,” he pleaded as I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I stood looking in the mirror and turned away quickly, wondering if I would ever keep a promise to myself. I’d made the decision to be intimate with him, and now I felt obligated to answer the underlying question of where it could lead. I wanted to believe that I could handle the physical touch I’d craved from him in the present without dragging in the hurtful past, but I knew better. I showered quickly then opened the door, unsure of where he would be. He was still naked and in bed. His eyes flew to me immediately.

“I figured it would be important to stay where I was,” he grinned at me. I sucked in my lips pressing them into a line to stifle my smile.

“You are smiling,” he noted.

“No, I’m not.”

“Well, if you can’t get that stick out of your ass, please allow me to inspect.” He flew from the bed and captured me as I yelped. He tossed my still damp body over his shoulder and onto the soft mattress as I cursed his good name while he pinned me down. Burying his head between my thighs, I pulled his hair hard.

“Mmmhmm, mmmhmm,” he said, pretending to inspect my derriere.

“How do you do that?” I asked as he looked up at me with a grin.

“Do what?”

“You know, stare at those all damn day.” He nuzzled my skin and placed a small kiss on my thigh. “First of all, I don’t stare. That’s just rude. And second, I do more than pap smears. I deliver babies and help parents who can’t have babies make them. I was specializing in IVF before I left New York.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to bag on your specialty, vag man.”

“Nice,” he said, rolling his eyes and positioning himself on top of me. He kissed me deeply then pulled away, searching my face.

“I’m going to help Paul and Hilary.” I jerked my head back in question as he explained. “They are having a hard time conceiving. Paul came to me at the engagement party.”

“I had no idea. Oh no! I joked about their failure to produce an heir. God, I feel terrible.”

“Dally, this isn’t something couples openly discuss at the dinner table. It’s painful, but I’m sure they didn’t take offense. They came to me for help, and it’s a good first step. I had my first consultation with them last Monday. I’m pretty confident about it.”

“That’s wonderful. I’m...happy they came to you.”

I lay beneath him as he scanned my face with a worried look.

“I’m fine,” I said forcefully.

“No, you aren’t. You don’t trust me not to hurt you and you’re doing your damndest to make sure I don’t. Dallas, I’m not leaving.” He kissed me deeply as I sighed into him.

I nodded once. He shook his head with slight irritation then took my lower lip between his teeth.

“I didn’t break up with him for you,” I said adamantly.

“Okay,” he mumbled as he kissed my throat.

“We have to take things slow. I have a lot going on,” I warned, nudging his head with my shoulder so he looked at me.

“Too late for that. What else,” he said, moving down my body with his kiss.

“I—oh God!” I gasped as his tongue flattened between my legs. He laid his hand on my stomach to hold me down while he devoured me with long slow licks. I writhed in gratitude as he slid his tongue down my aching slit, finding purchase in the sensitive tissues.

“Tastes like home,” he said, sliding his fingers inside me as he sucked on my bundled nerves. I came in a hard rush, praising him and God simultaneously loud enough to wake my entire condo complex.

He finished his praise by sucking my folds leisurely as the last of my shudders subsided.

“I’m going to take you hard. Hold on to me,” he warned before moving up my body, rolling me onto my stomach, and gripping my shoulders. In one breath-stealing thrust, he was buried inside me to the root. He began to roll his hips, his movements sending me spiraling toward the edge. He took me deep as he whispered into my ear before sinking his teeth into my shoulder. I came again instantly, bucking underneath him. Turning me back over and pulling me to the edge of the bed, he molded my body to his touch, praising me as he gave himself to me. “I’m the last man that will ever have you,” he promised with every thrust before giving in and burying his head in my chest.

Sleeping with Dean was inevitable. How amazing it was made me even more terrified, but at the same time, I was elated he still wanted me that way and no other. He’d said all the things I wanted to hear. And though my head gave me warning with every word I recalled, my heart resumed its loyal place, filled with all things Dean Martin.

I could’ve stayed in bed and pressed repeat but I wanted to think about him and crave him before we went any further. I thought I would be elated with having him back in my life in a more intimate way. I was beyond that. I felt new.

I felt like I was breathing again.

I had to at least try to enjoy the moment, even if deep down some part of me would always believe our happiness wouldn’t last. I didn’t want to be the pathetic case that had clung to him crying last night. I’d come a hell of a long way from that girl and I owed it to myself to show him who I was now.

I was hesitant to think about a possible future with him. For the first time in a very long time, I just wanted to let myself feel the way I used to with him. Last night was a great start. He’d exhausted me until I fell into a deep sleep. I’d only woken up when he pulled me to him and murmured “Dallas,” in his slumber.

I dressed quickly the next morning, leaving a sleeping Dean with a note. I had lab results waiting and I honestly thought there was nothing worse than being the person who was waiting on them. I wanted the way I treated my new patients to go above and beyond what was expected instead of just a simple diagnosis and course of action. I wanted to be heavily involved in their treatment and aftercare. I wanted to take a step further away from the gray area.

My confidence and smile was short lived when I received the results of Mrs. Tanner’s biopsy. I did a consult with two other oncologists before letting her know we had a long road and the well-rehearsed speech of getting her affairs in order.

“Only a sadist would go into this field,” I said to myself as I took a break on the smoking deck away from the cold temperatures of the hospital. I let the sun warm my face, rubbing my shoulders to get the chill out as Dean walked out to join me, not giving me a chance to greet him.