The Fall and Rise of Kade Hart: A Hart Brothers Novel (15 page)

We look at each other, trying to figure it
all out.

“I’m not sure what to make of it, though,” I
add.

“Maybe I do,” Kade says. “Maybe the group
protecting you was warding the other group off. And if that’s the
case, then I’m right.”

My old friend fear returns, flooding me,
crawling through my body like a million biting, pinching beetles,
chewing at me from the insides out.

Kade rolls to the side and says, “Don’t!
Don’t be afraid.”

“They found me then.”

“But nothing happened! I won’t let anything
happen.”

“If they ever get to me, you won’t be able
to stop them. Whoever they are, they’ll take me and do whatever
they need or want.”

“I think they found you two years ago.
Followed you from New Orleans. Been here from the beginning. Answer
me this. How long have you been seeing those shadows?”

The thought is so disturbing, I don’t want
to admit that he’s right. I noticed them right away. Near the
convent, the church, everywhere I went. That’s when I thought I was
psycho, really crazy. My imagination ran rampant back then, finding
them everywhere, in the leaves on trees, in playgrounds. Even under
the desks in the school. I’d have anxiety attacks, hyperventilate,
run to the bathroom to escape, but they’d be there too, hiding
behind stall doors, waiting. It was excruciating to be alone. I’d
cling to anyone I could and try explaining that one away. I lied
and told everyone it was from being raised in an orphanage. That I
had never gotten over my separation anxiety.

All the nuns came to accept my odd behavior
after a time. But when I began venturing out on my own,
volunteering, it was my form of mental persecution. At first, I
couldn’t walk. I ran everywhere, arriving sweaty and out of breath.
I lied again, saying I was trying to use my time to get in shape.
It was Denver after all, where lots of outdoorsy people lived, and
they believed me. Eventually I got to a place when I let go a bit.
I learned to live with the shadows and morphing shapes, the
ever-changing contours that shifted into whatever they wanted to
be.

“Since the beginning here. From the
start.”

“Trust them, Juliette.”

“Trust them? They scare the crap out of me.
I don’t even know what they are! Every time I focus on them, they
change.”

“How so?”

“I can’t explain it, but if I go outside
right now, I bet they’re in your back yard.”

“Show me.”

We get dressed and go out back. I pan the
back yard, and try to show him, but they change so swiftly, it’s
impossible for him to follow. When I start to shiver, he moves me
back inside.

“I have an idea,” he murmurs in my ear.
“Come with me.” He takes my hand and leads me upstairs. We go into
his bedroom and into his closet. It’s huge by any standards, but on
one wall there is a window. Again, he whispers in my ear, “Here’s
my phone, and it’s open to the camera setting. Look through the
blinds and see if you can capture anything on camera.”

Grinning, I snatch it out of his hand and
begin my surveillance. The window gives a bird’s eye view and it
should be easy to see, but it’s not. I seem to be looking at an
ever-changing landscape. One minute a bench in the yard is in one
area and the next, it’s somewhere else entirely. I start to snap
away. Then I see them. They merge with the environment, flowing and
ebbing like water. What are they? Are they real or just shadows
moving with the sun? I keep pressing the button to grab the images.
Ten minutes later we move the to bed to have a look.

“Did you get anything?” he asks quietly.

“Oh, yeah. Look. I took about a dozen.”

When he opens up the app, it’s blank.
Nothing’s there.

“That’s impossible. That bench, the wrought
iron one? It moved. I swear and I took two pictures of it to show
you.”

“Not here. Not a single photo.”

“How can that be?” I jump up and run back to
the window, but now when I look out, I see nothing out of the
ordinary. I scream out of frustration.

“They don’t want to be found.”

“You think?”

I could rip out my hair by the roots, I’m
that angry. For the first time in two years, there was a
possibility that I could share what I see with someone and
this
happens.

“Do you believe I took those pictures?”

He looks at me for a second without
answering.

“You don’t, do you? You think it was
operator error,” I accuse.

“I didn’t say that. You’re putting words
into my mouth.”

“You didn’t have to say it. Do you think I’m
making this up?”

“No! I didn’t say that either.”

My posture sags. I deflate because all my
hopes for proof of this just poofed away in a flash. “Honestly, I
don’t know if I’d believe you.”

“You’d probably think I was hitting the
drugs again, but you’re not an addict. There’s a difference between
us.”

Our discussion is interrupted by Kade’s
phone ringing. He looks at it and says, “Father Anthony. I can
imagine what this call’s about.”

“Father Anthony. Enjoying the snow?”

Pause.

“I’m sure she did. But I refused to drive
and for your information, Emmalia did strike out on her own,
against my wishes, and I found her nearly unconscious in the snow.
I brought her back here and her body temperature was ninety-six
degrees, which is almost hypothermic. If I hadn’t found her when I
did, I’m not sure what would’ve happened.”

Pause.

“No, sir. I think Sister Helena needs to
have more reasonable expectations when Emmalia is walking
everywhere. Now I’m happy to drive her, but not in a blizzard with
white out conditions, or when the roads are impassible.”

Pause.

“I agree and that’s exactly what I told her.
And you know, Father, I have a four bedroom house.”

Pause.

“Thank you and I’ll let her know.”

Kade ends the call and he’s smiling. “Father
Anthony is on our side and was appalled at Sister Helena. And he
was upset that you actually tried to walk home. You are to stay
here until I feel it’s safe to drive. That may be weeks.”

I smack him on the shoulder. “Would you mind
if I took a shower?”

“Not at all. Make yourself at home.” He
indicates his bathroom by extending his arm.

It’s a new world for me, compared with the
communal bathroom at the convent I’m used to. There’s a huge jetted
tub and a shower with a multitude of nozzles that I’m not sure how
they all work. I don’t even know how to turn the thing on.

“Kade? Kade? Are you still out there?”

“Yeah, hang on.”

A few minutes pass and he walks in carrying
some more clothes for me.

“Oh, thanks. How does this work?”

He shows me on the electronic panel.
Whatever happened to hot and cold knobs?

“Hang on a sec.” He runs out of the room and
returns with his arms full of bath and beauty products … things
from my past that I long for. “I needed to grab these out of the
other bathroom. I’m not sure what you like so take your pick. All
the towels you’ll need are in the closet over there.”

“Thank you. I feel so spoiled.”

He smiles and I want to kiss him.

“Juliette, don’t look at me like that or you
won’t be taking a shower alone.”

Would that be so bad? Gah, to see him naked,
wet, and my hands all over him would be more than I could ask for.
My scrambled thoughts beat around like eggs in a frying pan and
when his chest is inches from mine I link my arms around his neck
and lean into him.

“As perfect as that sounds, I’d like some
time alone. And don’t take this the wrong way.”

He kisses the top of my head and says, “I
understand.”

Did I just give up the opportunity of a
lifetime? My friends from college would kick my ass if they could
see me now. It’s been a long time since I’ve allowed myself the
pleasure of thinking about them.

His hands are on my shoulders when he takes
a step back. “I’ll be downstairs. And Juliette, you’re going to
want to use up all the hot water, but don’t worry, I have one of
those endless tanks,” he says with a smirk and leaves.

The shower is amazing. Water shoots out
everywhere, soaking my aching body from head to toe, not missing a
thing. Kade was right. I could stay in here for days. Weeks even.
Maybe he could leave food outside and I could sneak it in without
it getting soggy. And the bath products. They’re the beyond
expensive kind. The type that I would have to spend a year of my
income on. And the scent. Holy mother of God. I’m surrounded by a
bouquet of exotic flowers from some far away island that I’ll never
see. But I can dream about it because right in this very instance,
as I close my eyes, I can see their beautiful blossoms as they
surround me with their velvety soft petals. When I squeeze a blob
of shampoo in my palm, the aroma envelops me again, and I’m
transported to a magical world beyond my senses. I don’t want to
open my eyes to my harsh existence. I want to move to Kade’s
shower, a place where fairies exist.

It’s sheer will that forces me to turn the
water off. But once more, when I wrap myself in the fluffiness of
white marshmallows, I sigh. Is it weird that I want to curl up like
a boiled shrimp and stay here until I get cold? Luxury has a new
meaning for me. I never knew it before now. Going back to the
convent is going to depress me in ways I hadn’t imagined.

I must’ve been gone a while because Kade’s
voice interrupts my musings.

“Knock knock.”

“Enter at your own risk.”

When he sees me on the floor he asks, “What
the hell are you doing?”

“I’m in heaven. That shower. Those bath
products. That shampoo and conditioner. And these towels. Bliss.
You have ruined me, sir.”

He lets out a hearty laugh. “If I had known
it took so little …”

“Your towels are like Fluff.”

“Fluff?”

You know, the marshmallow stuff. So soft and
fluffy. I just want to lie on them forever. I’m ruined.”

“I would think that floor would be
hard.”

“I think it’s softer than my bed at the
convent. And the towels there are like sandpaper.”

“Here.”

Forcing my eyes open, I see a hand in front
of them. I reluctantly take it.

“Can I comb your hair?”

“Sure. There’s not much of it and it’s not
great hair.”

“It’s lovely hair.”

My brow quirks. “Kade, my hair hasn’t been
professionally cut since before I graduated from college. It’s a
crap-cut. I whack it off myself so Sister Helena stays off my back.
She deplores long hair. And if I keep it above my shoulders, she
won’t make me go get a boy cut. I look awful in those.”

“How can you think that? You would look
great any way you wore your hair. Your eyes are enormous with thick
lashes, and your high cheekbones make you model-worthy. Juliette,
you would look good bald. Seriously. You are beautiful. So shut
it.”

“Well, thank you for the kind compliment,
but I’m plain as Jane. My sister, on the other hand, was pretty.
And the sweetest thing. You know how some really pretty girls are
just yucky? Not Sylvie. Sweet as pecan pie she was. Wouldn’t hurt a
flea.” Sadness rips through me like the blade of a knife, slashing
my chest open and digging my heart right out of the cavity in which
it beats. Air is suctioned out of my lungs and the pressure on my
chest won’t allow me to inhale. Everything constricts. The harder I
try the worse it becomes.

“Breathe, Juliette. Come on, baby doe,
breathe for me. Slowly. Not big deep ones. Relax.”

Following his instructions, I take tiny
breaths and it helps.

“That’s right. Again.”

I keep doing it and eventually my chest
expands fully and I’m fine. He runs his thumb down my cheek.

“Better?”

“Yeah.”

“Wanna tell me what brought that on?”

“Sylvie. Thinking about her.”

Strong arms wrap around me and walk me to
the bedroom. “It’s hard losing someone you love so much, I suspect.
Last year when my mom died, I was sad, but I wasn’t close to her.
She hid in her room when I was growing up. She was afraid of my
father, like I was. My brothers tell me she was just coming out of
her shell when she died. That’s what made me the saddest. Most of
her life was spent in the shadow of fear and finally when she’s set
free, some asshole shoots her. So I can’t imagine what you felt,
losing your sister that you loved so much.”

“It felt like losing my arms and legs. I had
to learn how to walk again, and didn’t know how.”

“Anytime you need to talk about it, I’m here
for you. My shoulder is damn sturdy, you know.”

I don’t know why I do it, but I crawl on his
lap. He’s so large and comforting, I just want to be held. “I think
I need that shoulder for a minute.”

“Only a minute? I kinda like you here.”

“What are we doing, Kade?”

“I think we’re two people who need each
other. Do we need to analyze it any further than that?”

“What’s going to happen after the roads
clear? When I go back to my life in the convent?”

Time came to a stop for the two of us. We
had built our little nest and managed to push the rest of the world
away. Or at least I did. Well, that’s not exactly true. My shadows
invaded my thoughts, but I succeeded in ignoring them for the last
hour or so. I did, however, sweep all thoughts of living at the
convent under the proverbial carpet until now. My harsh existence
slaps me in the face, reminding me of who and what I am.

Kade leans back and asks, “Do you want to go
back? Be honest, Juliette. I want the God’s honest truth from your
lips … not what you think you
need
to do.”

It takes me no time at all to respond. “Of
course I don’t want to go back. But what other choice do I
have?”

“You always have a choice. Stay here—with
me.”