The Falling of Love (19 page)

She turns to leave the room, and he stops her with his voice. “Grace. I’m sorry about earlier. It won’t happen again.”

She nods and leaves the room without another word.

Michelle is sitting on the couch reluctantly sending James a text.

“You can move in,” Grace says, as she sits next to her.

Michelle closes her phone and smiles. Grace watches as her face falls into a frown.

“You wanna talk about it?” asks Michelle, as she takes Grace’s hand. Michelle always knows when there is something wrong with her. Grace has kept this part of her life a secret from Michelle because she did not want to worry her or take the chance that she would tell James.

“Maybe later. But tonight, I can’t deal with anymore talking,” Grace says.

She gives Michelle a tour of the old home and then tells Michelle to choose a room. Michelle, of course, chooses the largest out of the two.

“Sweet digs!” Michelle says, as she sets her suitcase down.

“Jaden just repainted it and put down new floors,” Grace says, as she walks to the center of the room. The room is large, has wood floors that match the rest of the home, and a white brass twin bed situated against a slanted wall. Otherwise the room is empty.

Michelle looks doubtful. “Was this his grandfather’s room?” she asks, eerily.

“No. Jaden turned that into a library of sorts. All of our books, sheet music, my art supplies, and easels are in there now.”

“Whew, not to be rude, but I don’t think I could stay in a room where someone died!”

“
It’s
okay, Missy. I get it. Don’t worry.”

Grace kisses her little sister on the forehead and waves goodnight to her.

Moments later she crawls into bed with Ian. He does not seem to be sweating as much as he was earlier and this gives her some relief. Today has been too much. The weight of the day collapses on her as she quietly sobs. Ian rolls over and looks at her as she tries to cover up the fact that she is crying.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers as he brushes her hair behind her ear. “I’m so very sorry!”

He kisses her forehead and she can no longer contain herself. She breaks into heavy sobs and snuggles into his arms. He squeezes her tighter and kisses her forehead repeatedly.

“Guess who’s here,” she sniffles.

“Who?”

“Michelle.”

“What? Why?”

“James kicked her out. I’ll explain tomorrow. There’s just too much going on, Ian. I can’t take it.”

“I swear to you, baby, I’m going to make things right,” he says, as he kisses her trembling lips. Cupping her face in his hands, he kisses the tears that roll down her cheeks. She wants to believe him more than anything.

Lying flat on the bed, Ian struggles to pull on his leather pants. Grace sits on the edge of the bed watching him get ready for his show, amused.

“Are you sure you’re up to this, babe?” she asks, feeling troubled.

“I really don’t have a choice. The whole band is counting on me. This is our biggest gig yet and if I puss out, they’re all screwed,” he says, as he pulls his Black Dog t-shirt over his head.

“I just don’t know,” she says, as she looks at him afraid. “What if—”

Ian rushes to her and puts his fingers over her lips, quieting her. “No, what ifs, babe. I’ll be okay. Besides, I’ll have my watch dog there to look after me,” he says, referring to Jaden.

With every emotion she has, Grace does not want Ian to do this show. He is so fresh from going through detox.
What can I do though?
She knows this is the biggest show they have ever played and there are even rumors of record company executives being there. She feels a bit more relieved about Ian going when Jaden walks into the bedroom. Looking him over, she cannot help but think,
Wow! He looks amazing
! Jaden’s long, black hair goes past his shoulders. He is wearing a black rayon shirt with oversized white roses on it and a tight pair of yellow leather pants.

“I like the nose ring,” Grace says, as she walks up to Jaden to untuck a part of his shirt from his pants.

He shakes his head up and down with a sly grin.

“Yeah, you like huh?” he asks, winking at her.

“Babe, can you help me with this belt?” Ian asks, waving her over.

Without hesitation she goes to him. “You, my love, are hot!” she says, as she kisses Ian on the chest. “They’re going to need hoses to keep those groupies off you tonight,” she says, giggling.

She looks to Jaden, sending him a message with her eyes that she hopes he can read.
Please watch over him.

After Ian and Jaden leave, Grace and Michelle watch a movie and eat buttery popcorn. When the movie is over they sit on Grace’s bed painting their nails as Grace finally spills the dirt on everything that has been going on since her and Ian moved to Los Angeles. She has been unusually secretive and sensitive about why she is upset, up until this point.

“So
that’s
why you had to drop out of college?”

“Well, with Ian not working, I had to get a job, plus he spent every dime we had getting high.”

She watches Michelle shake her head in frustration and disappointment. This is the exact reason she has been so reluctant to talk to her about it.

“And you let him go to this show alone?”

“Jaden is with him,” Grace says, confidently.

“Jaden seems nice and all, but really, this show is a big deal for him. You really think he wants to babysit Ian all night?”

Grace considers Michelle’s words, and suddenly her stomach drops. A horrible feeling overcomes her, even worse than the worry she had earlier in the evening.

“Sorry, sis. I didn’t mean to upset you, but I seriously think you should’ve gone.”

She does not want to doubt Ian’s word, but so far, he has been dishonest with her to the extreme. He stole all of her money for college, all the money they saved for their wedding, and quit his job, forcing her to quit school so that she could work full time to support them. She has lost her best friend Becca, who refuses to speak to her anymore, despite Ian being sober. On Grace’s last attempt at resolving their friendship, Becca told Grace she could not watch her let Ian destroy her.

Grace tries to quash her worry, but this is the first time he has been out to a club since he has been clean. He will be surrounded by temptation tonight, temptation that might be hard to ignore since he has only been clean for a few weeks.
What was I thinking letting him go alone?
She gets up from the bed and gets dressed in a hurry. It only takes her a matter of minutes before she is fully clothed.

“It’s better if you go,” says Michelle as she continues to paint her nails. “At least if you’re there you know nothing bad will happen. Do you want me to go with you?”

Grace grabs her purse as she runs out the door. “You’re not dressed. I gotta go now!”

It takes Grace over thirty minutes to make it to Sunset Boulevard from her home. She looks at her cell phone as she hurries up the sidewalk toward the club.
The show is no doubt over by now
. She can hear the sound of music blaring from the club, but can tell right away that it is not Black Dog. With shaking hands, she pays the fee to enter. Rapidly, her ears are invaded with pounding from the bass drum. As she suspected, Black Dog is no longer playing. She walks around the crowded club searching for him, pushing through piles of sweaty, alcohol scented people, searching for any familiar face. She walks up to the stage door and asks the bouncer to let her backstage. He lets her in immediately without a problem. Letting out the breath she was holding in, fretting that he would give her a hard time, she steps through the doorway.

She hates the smell backstage. It smells like a mixture of alcohol, sweat, and sex. The smoke is always so thick that it gives her an instant headache.
This place is empty
, she thinks as she walks around the abandoned backstage area.
Where is everyone?
There is a cigarette burning in the ashtray on the table, and she can hear some sort of commotion going on outside in the alley, which sounds like the band is out back loading up their van. She opens the door to the hallway that leads to the alley, and she stops dead in her tracks. Leaning up against the wall, head back, eyes closed, is Ian. Grace knows right away that he is high. Her eyes slowly trace a line down from his head as moans escape his lips, and down his torso to the blonde that is giving him head. Grace cannot breathe, cannot move,
cannot
utter a single word. Her entire world is crashing around her. The walls on either side of her seem to be closing in.

Ian opens his eyes at the sound of her gasping for breath. He looks at her, and smiles. He is so inebriated. He seems so lost to ecstasy from the blowjob that he hardly even recognizes her, and if he did he may not even care.

Grace stands there stunned. She is hyperventilating. She cannot move her feet and all of her limbs feel like soft clay. Physical pain clenches her heart and she grabs at her chest in hopes to pinch away the soreness. With heavy breaths, she screams, “Ian!”

Her words do not faze him in the least.

The blonde takes her mouth off him and yells, “Get the hell outta here!”

Grace runs full speed in her direction, grabs her by the hair, and throws her off Ian. He looks at Grace with wide realizing eyes, and his mouth opens, as if he finally realizes what is going on.

“Gracie!” he pants, as he reaches out to touch her.

Grace looks at him, shaking her head from side to side frantically, in complete disbelief, not a single tear in her eyes. The blonde is surprised and backs up against the wall of the hallway. Her red sequined skirt is pulled up revealing that she is not wearing panties. She looks petrified of what Grace will do. Grace looks at her with piercing eyes then flings her head around to stare furiously at Ian.

“You are such a fucking prick!” she screams in agony. She looks behind her. The door to the backstage area has closed, and then she looks in front of her at the door to the alleyway. Everything is moving in slow motion. The hallway seems to expand as she looks at the glowing exit sign. As impossible as it seems she is running for the door, but not moving an inch. Finally, her feet move beneath her and she runs for the door to the alleyway, at last making her way out of it.

She sees Jaden standing at the van, holding a drum. He turns and looks at her, and she runs in the opposite direction. Jaden’s voice calls to her, but she wants nothing more than to get away from this place.

Jaden catches a glimpse of Grace running out of the backstage door and yells to her with a big smile, “Hey, Grace!”

Realizing she is upset, he puts down the drum he is loading into the van and walks through the door that leads backstage. It does not take him long to assess what has happened. Ian is still leaning against the wall, his penis still hanging limply out of his pants, and the blonde is dusting off her knees. Jaden runs up to Ian and lunges at him. Pinning him to the wall with his arm he gets right up in Ian’s face.

“What the fuck did you do?”

Ian looks dazed and does not say a word.

“You were supposed to be going to the bathroom! What did you do?” Jaden grabs Ian’s arm, looks for evidence that he has taken drugs and finds it in a small hole in his flesh near the center of his arm, scabbed over with dry blood. Ian’s eyes roll up into his head, the muscles of his face completely relaxed and Ian’s mouth hangs open. Jaden’s thoughts race to Grace. He pulls back his fist and punches Ian in the face. Ian falls to the floor, unconscious. The blonde lets out a squeak and rushes to Ian’s aid.

Jaden runs to the alley, gets in the van, and pulls away with the backdoors still open. Equipment and instruments fly out of the back of the van and crash on the pavement.

Jaden frantically drives down Hollywood Boulevard, his head whipping around searching for Grace. He spots her running down the sidewalk and pulls the van over. He runs to her and grabs her. As he holds her tight she shakes, and is hysterical.

“Grace, it’s me,” he says, pulling her face to look at his.

She cannot get a word out past her tears.

Jaden takes her chin in both of his hands and holds her face steady. “I know, Grace. I know what he did.”

She pounds on his chest, beating him furiously. “You said you would watch out for him!” she screams. “You said you would take care of him!” she screams again as she pounds harder and harder on his chest.

Jaden pulls her close to his body and hugs her tightly. “I know. I’m so sorry.”

She falls limp in his arms.

“I’m going to take you home.”

When they get home, Jaden carries Grace upstairs as she sobs in his arms. Michelle’s light is off, so he decides to try to tend to Grace alone. He lays her on the bed and goes to the bathroom to get a wet washcloth.

“How could he do this?” she cries, her hands shaking rapidly. Her sobs echo off the walls filling the room with an invisible cloud of pain.

Jaden takes her legs, lifts them, and helps her to lie on the bed. He gets in bed with her and wraps his arms around her.

“Why would he do this to me?” Grace cries.

“I don’t know, Grace. He’s sick. He’s not himself,” he says, as he rubs her back.

Something tugs Ian by his armpits. He blinks and images of Micah’s face flash in front of him as Micah drags him across the floor. Micah hoists Ian up on the couch backstage. Ian watches through hazy eyes as Micah goes to the refrigerator and searches through the mass of beer bottles. Micah walks back over to Ian with a bottle of water in his hands and sits down next to him.

“What the hell is going on?” Ian asks, breathing heavily.

“Not sure, but some major shit went down,” Micah says, as he encourages Ian to drink more water. “I know you shot up with Chris after the show.”

Immediately Ian is ashamed. Regret washes over him.

“Fuck.” He takes a deep breath. “How long have I been out?”

“A little over an hour.”

Some of the effects of the heroin he took earlier are still running through his body, but his mind becomes clearer as he sits and drinks the water. “Gracie!” he says, with a deep breath.

“Yeah, man, I saw her run out of the backdoor crying,” Micah says. “Then Jaden ran back here. I could hear him yelling something and then he got in the van, with the fucking doors still open, and took off. Our equipment flew everywhere!”

Micah sits with Ian for a short while, further encouraging him to drink water and even gets Ian a wet washcloth from the bartender.

“You’re going to be okay, right?” he asks, as he rises from the couch.

Ian nods.

“You want a ride home?”

“Yeah, but can you give me a few minutes,” Ian says, soberly.

Micah pats Ian on the back. “I’ll be waiting for you in the car.”

Ian cannot believe what he has done. Memories of the unattractive blonde going down on him run through his mind as he covers his face with the cold wet washcloth. He sees Grace’s shocked and devastated face when he closes his eyes. He cannot keep from shaking his head in disbelief. Ian cannot believe what he has let himself become. He knows he is going to lose Grace if he does not stop his self-destruction.
We have to get the fuck out of L.A.!

He stands up, thoughts about how badly he screwed up cutting into the effects of the heroin. The soberer he gets, the more determined he is to save his relationship with Grace. He is on a mission to express to her how much he loves her, what a horrible person he has been, and tell her that he wants to get out of Los Angeles. He does not care where they go, be it back to Ocean View, or back to Massachusetts, but he knows that the dreams he had in Los Angeles have turned his life into a nightmare.

He walks to Micah’s car and crawls in, rehearsing how he is going to plead his case to her.

Jaden rubs Grace’s back and it wakes her. She looks around the room searching for Ian.

“He’s not here?”

“No. It’s just us,” Jaden says. “Can I get you some water?”

Grace shakes her head. She turns so that she is facing him. She stares into his dark eyes and tries to make out the features of his face. Her eyes and throat are sore. Suddenly Jaden kisses her. She gives into him and kisses him back. Her mind and heart both numb, she craves comfort. Jaden’s kiss becomes passionate as his hands begin to move all over her body. He puts his hand up her dress and fiercely pulls her panties off. She wants to stop him, she knows this is not right, but she cannot bring herself to deny him. She needs to feel something good, because all she has now is pain and sorrow. He rubs her thighs while kissing her neck and her breasts. Jaden sticks two of his fingers in his mouth and wets them, then reaches between her legs, and pushes his fingers inside her. She cries out, partly due to the pain of knowing that what they are doing is wrong and partly because she is enjoying herself. It is the only thing that feels right at this moment. Uncontrollably her body responds by lifting to his touch. He kisses her again, his tongue filling her mouth.