The Far Side of Paradise (12 page)

Could that have been because of her crass fiancé? He must have been a total fool, because she certainly wasn’t frigid by nature.

Quelling a sharp shock of desire, Cade banished the memory of her incandescent response to his kisses. It
could have been faked, of course. Unpleasantly aware of a desire to find excuses for her behaviour to Peter, he had to remember to keep an open mind.

‘You’ve spent a lot of time on such vessels?’ he enquired as they approached the gardens that shielded their
fale
from the others on the island.

She grinned. ‘My parents and I used to spend the holidays travelling for a charity that sent medical aid to the islands. We sailed mostly on traders—and trust me, although they did their best, those vessels smelt and they were quite often dirty. The tropics can make things difficult for anyone with a cleanliness fetish.’

‘You didn’t think of following your parents into medicine?’ he asked casually.

‘Yes, but it didn’t work out.’

‘Why?’

She shrugged, her breasts beneath the
pareu
moving freely. Cade’s groin tightened. Seeing her almost naked in her bed that morning meant he knew exactly what the brightly coloured fabric covered. He had to dismiss an image of his hands removing the thin cotton that covered her, then lingering across the satin-skinned curves he’d revealed.

Without looking at him, Taryn said, ‘About halfway through my first year of pre-med study I realised that I simply didn’t have the desire or the passion. It was my parents’ dream for me, not mine.’

‘How did they feel about that?’

Her narrow brows met for a second. ‘They weren’t happy,’ she admitted, her tone cool and matter-of-fact. ‘I felt really bad about it, but I couldn’t see myself being a good doctor. For me, medicine would have been just a job.’

‘Whereas for them it’s a vocation?

Her surprised glance sparked irritation in Cade, an emotion that fought with the swift leap of his blood when she turned her head away and the sun transformed her wet red locks into a coppery-gold aureole.

Clearly she hadn’t thought him capable of recognising altruism. For some reason he wasn’t prepared to examine, that stung.

‘Yes,’ she said simply. ‘They made big sacrifices for me. Because they wanted to give me a good secondary education, they came back to New Zealand and bought the practice at Aramuhu. As soon as they’d organised me into university, they went back to the islands.’

Cade felt an odd, almost unwilling sympathy. Although philanthropic, her parents seemed to have been as casual about her as his mother had been. Had traipsing around after them on their missions of mercy given her a distaste for a lifetime of service?

It bothered him that he didn’t blame her.

Her chin lifted and her green-gold eyes met his with a direct challenge. She said firmly, ‘So I studied for librarian qualifications—much more my thing.’

‘And you’ve not regretted it?’

‘Not a bit.’ In the dark shelter of one of the big rain-trees, Taryn sneaked an upward glance. Nothing showed in his expression but casual interest, yet her voice tightened so she had to hurry over her final remark. ‘My parents are perfectly happy with the way I’ve organised my life, and so am I.’

In any other man, she’d have accepted his words as idle chit-chat, the small coin of communication, but she was pretty certain Cade didn’t do casual. When he asked a question, he really wanted the answer.

A hot little thrill shivered through her as they walked out into the sun again. His kisses had indicated one sort
of awareness, but did this conversation mean he felt more for her than uncomplicated lust?

Startled by a swift, passionate yearning that went deeper than desire, far deeper than anything she’d experienced before, she blinked and pretended to examine the shrubs beside the path.

Those hard eyes saw too much and, although she didn’t understand him in any real way, somehow he stirred a secret, unsuspected part of her. She longed to warm herself in the intense primal heat she sensed behind the uncompromising exterior he presented to the world.

Abruptly, she stopped walking. Keeping her face turned away from Cade, she touched a hibiscus flower, letting her fingertips linger on the brilliant satin petals. It took all her self-possession to say in a level voice, ‘Only a flower could get away with this combination—vivid orange petals with a heart as bright and dark as a ruby. The colours should clash hideously, but somehow they don’t.’

Control restored, she lifted her hand and turned back to him, insides curling when she realised he wasn’t looking at the bloom. Instead, his gaze was fixed on her mouth. Sensation ricocheted through her, tantalising and tempting.

Without haste, he said, ‘It’s all part of the forbidden, fated lure of the tropics, I believe.’

‘Forbidden? Fated?’ She let the flower go and resumed walking. In her most prosaic tone, she said, ‘The European sailors who first explored these islands thought they’d found paradise.’

‘Ask Luke Chapman to tell you about the first Chapman who arrived in Fala’isi. His story might change your mind about that.’

‘Oh, the Polynesians were warlike, of course,’ she admitted, keeping her voice practical. ‘But they were hugely hospitable too, and although there were episodes when the two cultures clashed badly—like Captain Cook’s death in Hawaii—they weren’t common.’

Wanting Cade Peredur was asking for trouble. Better to keep her distance, stay safe behind the barricades, not waste her time and emotional energy on a man who—at the most—would suggest an affair.

Probably one as brief as tropical twilight, and with as little impact on him.

And there was always the possibility that her body was playing tricks on her, luring her on with a promise it couldn’t fulfil. In spite of Cade’s kisses, if they made love her desire might evaporate as swiftly as it had with Antony. She could do without a repeat of that humiliation.

Mouth firming, she bade her erratic heartbeat to settle down as they reached the
fale.

‘Those first explorers called them the Isles of Aphrodite,’ he said, surprising her again. ‘Love has to be the most dangerous emotion in the world.’

Her brows shot up. ‘Dangerous? I can see that sometimes it might be,’ she conceded. ‘But fated and forbidden? That’s a bit extreme. Plenty of people fall in love and live more or less happily ever after.’

‘Plenty don’t. And love has caused huge amounts of angst and misery.’

‘Like any extreme emotion,’ she agreed, heart twisting as she thought of Peter. Trying to ignore the sad memories and guilt, she said quietly, ‘But there are different kinds of love. The love of parents for their
children, for instance. Without that, the world would be a terrible place.’

Cade’s face froze. ‘Indeed,’ he said evenly.

What had she said that had hit a nerve?

F
OR
a highly uncomfortable few seconds Cade looked at Taryn from narrowed eyes before asking abruptly, ‘So what do you plan to do once you’re back in New Zealand?’

‘Find a proper job.’ She grabbed at her composure and, once they were in the cool sitting room of the
fale,
said daringly, ‘I’m thinking of asking you for a reference about my research abilities.’

‘I expected as much.’ His voice was level and lacking in emotion. And then he drawled, ‘However, I’ll need a little more experience of your skills before I can give you a reference that would mean anything.’

The words were innocuous enough—quite reasonable, in fact—but a note in his voice set her teeth on edge.

Meeting eyes that were narrowed and intent, she said crisply, ‘I don’t like the sound of that.’

His brows lifted. ‘Why?’

Wishing too late she hadn’t opened her mouth, Taryn knew she had to go on. ‘Because that almost sounded like the sort of thing a sleazy employer might say to a defenceless employee.’

The half beat of silence tightened her nerves to
screaming point, until he laughed with what seemed like genuine amusement.

‘You’re far from defenceless,’ he said coolly, ‘and I rather resent you suggesting I’m sleazy. If you need the reassurance, any reference I write for you will be based entirely on your work, which so far I’ve found to be excellent.’

‘Thank you,’ she contented herself with saying.

He asked in that objective voice she was beginning to distrust, ‘You’re a beautiful woman. Do you have to set boundaries whenever you take a new position?’

‘No.’ Too brusque, but she wasn’t going to elaborate.

However, he said, ‘But you have had to before.’

‘Do I act as though I expect every employer to try to jump me?’

His look of distaste made her stiffen and brace herself.

He said, ‘No, but it’s clear that you’ve developed ways to defend yourself. Unsurprising, really, since your parents deserted you once you left school.’

His tone hadn’t altered, which somehow made his statement even more startling. Taryn said indignantly, ‘I wasn’t deserted! We kept in touch all the time—if I’d needed them, they’d have been there for me. They still are.’

One black brow lifted, something she realised happened whenever he didn’t believe her. ‘How long is it since you’ve seen them?’

She paused before admitting, ‘A couple of years.’

‘It sounds pretty close to being abandoned.’

‘No, you don’t understand—’

‘I understand abandonment.’ His voice was coldly deliberate. ‘My birth father I never knew. My mother
abandoned me at birth to be brought up by my grandmother. When she died, I lived with my mother, but I was eventually taken into care. I lived—happily—with foster parents after that, but recently I’ve lost my foster-brother.’

Shocked and horrified at what her innocent words had summoned, Taryn said quietly, ‘Yes, you obviously do understand abandonment, and I’m very sorry for that, but my parents haven’t abandoned me. I’m a big girl now, Cade—Mr Peredur—and quite capable of looking after myself without needing them to shepherd me through life.’

‘Oh, call me Cade,’ he said negligently. ‘We might not have been introduced formally but last night in my arms you called me Cade without hesitation.’

Colour burning through her skin, she said, ‘I haven’t thanked you for making sure that fruit bat didn’t blunder into me.’

He shrugged. ‘At the time I thought it was a fallen coconut I was rescuing you from. You’ve been digging trenches and laying barbed wire along your defences since you woke up this morning. Why? Because we kissed?’

‘Of course not.’ Immediately she’d spoken, she wondered if she should have told him the exact opposite.

Then he wouldn’t have smiled—the cool, easy smile of a conqueror—and lifted his hand. Her eyes widened endlessly in fascinated apprehension, but all he did was push back a lock of sea-damp hair that clung to her cheek. His fingers barely grazed her skin, yet she felt their impact like a caress, silkily sliding through her body to melt every inhibition.

Dropping his hand, he said, ‘It’s quite simple, Taryn.
If you don’t want me to touch you, all you need to do is say so.’

Neither his face nor his tone revealed any emotion beyond a wry amusement.

She resisted the need to lick suddenly dry lips. Cade’s touch had paralysed her, banishing everything but a swift, aching pleasure from his nearness. He filled her gaze, blotting out the seductive lure of the tropical afternoon with a potent male magnetism that sapped both her energy and her will.

Again Cade held out his hand but this time, instead of touching her, he waited, his expression cool and challenging. Desire—hot and irresistible—pulsed through her, overwhelming her fears in a honeyed flow she felt in every cell in her body. He was watching her with an intensity that was more seductive than any caress or polished words, as though she were the most important thing in his life.

Slowly, eyes locked with the steel-sheen-blue of his, she fought a losing battle against the impulse to take what he was offering and ignore the common sense that urged her to say no.

Yet she didn’t say it. Couldn’t say it.

‘What is this?’ The words stumbled huskily from her, almost meaningless, yet he seemed to know what she wanted from him.

He said, ‘You must know—since last night, if not before—that I find you very attractive. And you seem to reciprocate. But, if you’re not interested, all you have to do is refuse. However, if I’m right and this—’ his mouth twisted ‘—
attraction
is mutual, then we should decide what to do about it.’

Plain words. Too plain. And he knew damned well that the attraction was mutual! For a moment she
suffered a pang of angry rebellion. Why didn’t he woo her with passion, with heady kisses?

She knew the reason. Because he wanted her to know that whatever he felt was not love, not even a romance. He’d made it quite clear—he trusted no one. If she succumbed, it would be a business affair with no promises made and no hearts broken, just a clean cut when it was over.

Her only sensible response must be that simple syllable of refusal.

Yet still it wouldn’t come.

Would succumbing to his offer be so dangerous.?

Or would it finally free her from fear, from the poisonous aftermath of Antony’s violence?

Fighting a honeyed, treacherous temptation, Taryn searched for something sensible to say, words to get her out of the situation before she got too tangled in her rioting emotions.

None came.

She glanced upwards. As usual, she couldn’t read anything in the arrogant features. Indignantly, she thought that his enigmatic look would be etched into her memory for ever.

In the end, she said as steadily as she could, ‘In other words, why don’t we both scratch an itch?’

Cade inspected her from the top of her head to her toes, his cryptic gaze fanning that treacherous desire deep inside her.

But when he spoke his voice held nothing but detachment. ‘If that’s how you see it, then yes.’

She bristled, made angry by a foolish, obscure pain.

Still in that judicial tone, he continued, ‘But for me there’s more to it than that. I’ve met a lot of beautiful
women. I don’t believe many—if any—would have held that hose and, in spite of knowing she hadn’t a hope of doing it, still tried to stop the forest going up in flames.’