The Fat Lady Sings (18 page)
I'm expecting everyone to be pretty ticked off at rehearsal -- first that they suddenly had to give up their Saturday night and next that most of them have to learn a lot of new lines and forget a lot of old ones -- but everybody is really nice about it. More than nice -- downright cheerful. It makes me wonder if Cameron warned everyone to behave so I wouldn't go all diva on them -- because honestly, if I were Cameron, that's exactly what I would have done.
I go to church again with Taylor on Sunday morning and it's fine, except one of the stories they read (the only one I understand, to be honest) is about this guy Peter who I guess was a friend of Jesus. Anyway, after Jesus was arrested Peter claimed that he didn't know him three different times, which was kind of a crappy thing to do. The thing is, it's sort of what I've done twice to Cynthia, and so now I feel even more guilty, especially since the sermon is all about standing by your friends. I try to tell myself that I didn't deny being friends with Cynthia, I just didn't volunteer the information, but even in my head that sounds pretty lame.
We have a marathon rehearsal Sunday afternoon and evening, and I forget all about Jesus and Peter and Cynthia because, honestly, there's just no room in my brain for anything other than
The Fat Lady Sings.
I love that, when a show just takes over your whole mind and you get so involved in the rehearsal it's like the show is reality and it's the world outside the theatre that's make believe.
And so, for a week, my life is great. We're rehearsing like crazy to incorporate all the changes and Taylor is doing a super job on her new song. I would feel guilty throwing all this new material at people with so little time to learn it, but everyone seems to love the new version -- even techies are coming up to me and saying how good the second act is now. I'm everybody's favorite person again.
Elliot can't come to our rehearsals this week because
Hello, Dolly!
is having evening tech rehearsals, but he calls me every night when he gets home to ask how everything is going. I tell him he should call Cameron since he's the director, but Elliot says Cameron is too stressed out to be bothered with reports to the producer. The thing is, Cameron is actually more relaxed than he has been since we started rehearsals. He keeps smiling and leaning way back in his chair and saying things like, "Now we've got a show." So I think Elliot just likes to talk to me, which is nice. Honestly, I come home from rehearsal so keyed up that I have to talk to somebody and Karl is working nights this week and of course Dad is asleep before I get back.
My vocal work with Cynthia is going really well, especially now that we can concentrate on one song. And she's doing great with her scenes, too. Of course, now that they are into dress rehearsals she can't really change her performance (that would so not be cool), but we're polishing and mostly just making her more confident.
Midterms come out on Wednesday and I get two As, two B+s and a B (in math, of course). So if I don't get into the School of the Arts, at least it's not because of my grades.
By Thursday I'm feeling so good about life in general that when Taylor asks me if I want to go with her to see
Hello, Dolly!
I say yes. It's the perfect solution, really. I mean, I want to see my student in action, and of course I want to see Elliot, and of course, of course I want to see Roger Morton, but I can't sit with Cameron because I'd have to be catty about Cynthia Pirelli and I can't sit by myself because that would look super pathetic. Showing up with a friend on my arm -- a friend that nobody knows -- solves all my problems. Of course Taylor just wanted to see the show. She had no idea what a drama she was getting into.
Thursday night is final dress for
Hello, Dolly!,
so it's pretty late when Elliot calls me. For the first time he wants to talk about
Dolly
more than about
Fat Lady,
but I can understand that. After final dress is your last chance to let out all your anxieties before you go into the theatre the next night all cheerful and positive (no matter what happened at the dress rehearsal). It turns out most of tonight's
Dolly
rehearsal went pretty well. The biggest problem was that the hat shop was supposed to rotate and become the Harmonia Gardens restaurant and it got stuck halfway around, but Elliot says the technical director called Suzanne and she's going to take a look at it tomorrow morning, so it'll be fixed.
Finally I can't resist asking the question I've been dying to ask all week. I try to sound as snooty and aloof as I can, and I wonder if Elliot can tell it's an act. "How was Cynthia?" I say.
"Do you really want to know?" says Elliot.
"I believe I'm mature enough to handle the news," I say.
"To be honest, I was worried," says Elliot. "I mean, she's always had the singing down -- that was never a problem. But her acting wasn't much and it wasn't getting any better. But then sometime last week, I don't know, I guess something just clicked. In about three days she went from being Cynthia Pirelli to Dolly Levi."
She did it! We did it! This is amazing. I want to scream and jump up and down on the bed. It feels so incredible to succeed at something, even if I can't tell anybody about it. If I really am too fat to be an actress, at least I know I can be an acting teacher. Of course I have to remain calm on the phone with Elliot, so I just say, "I guess Mr. Parkinson picked the right person after all."
"I don't know about that," says Elliot, because, of course, he has to.
"Anyhow," I say, "I'm glad your show is going well. Taylor and I are coming tomorrow night."
"That's awesome," says Elliot. "It's really nice of you to come."
"Don't be silly," I say. "I wouldn't miss anything you're in."
"Thanks," says Elliot.
"And tell Roger I said to break a leg."
"Sure," says Elliot. "Of course I will."
We have no rehearsal on Friday night because it turns out we're all going to
Hello, Dolly!
Cameron says that's good because it will make it look like our show isn't some sort of "antitheatre department" production if we all come and support
Dolly.
Whatever. I just want to see Elliot and Roger and Cynthia. I could care less about the theatre department.
Taylor's really sweet and patient when I'm trying to figure out where to sit. I mean, if I sit near the front it will look like I'm trying to make some sort of statement -- like I'm just waiting for Cynthia to screw up or I want to remind everyone who
could
have been Dolly. But if I sit in the back,
that
will look like I'm making a statement -- like I really don't want to be there or I'm not paying attention or I'm gonna sneak out halfway through. So I opt for two thirds of the way back, near the side aisle (but not on the aisle, because that would look like I'm keeping an escape route open). Of course we have to arrive at exactly the right time -- too early and I look over eager, too late and I look callous. It's a balancing act, but Taylor is nice about everything and never once says, "Let's just go to the stupid theatre and sit down," which is what I would have said if I were with someone acting like me.
The show is not bad. I mean, it's not great, either. It's not one of those that people will still be talking about next year, and it's definitely not like
Godspell,
when complete strangers were coming backstage afterwards sobbing and hugging everyone in sight. It's not that the cast isn't good -- they are. But they're working so hard and there just isn't really a spark.
My first thought is that I've just outgrown the material. I mean, it is a little dated. But then I start to think it's the direction. The choreography is OK, but not particularly clever. The set is fairly boring (with the exception of the Hat Shop/Harmonia Gardens turntable, it's nothing but rented drops). But most of all I get the sense that Mr. Parkinson spent more time blocking crowd scenes than he did working on the subtleties of the relationships. Still, Elliot is hilarious as advertised, Roger is gorgeous as always, and Cynthia -- well, I think Cynthia surprises everyone in the audience except me. Her songs are wonderful and her scenes are the only ones that completely come to life. I'm so proud of her I can hardly stand it, and being all nonchalant around Taylor is one of the hardest acting jobs of my life.
Of course at intermission everyone is talking about how good Cynthia is, and I want to hear the details of what they're saying, but whenever I drift towards a group of people they immediately change the subject. I guess everyone still remembers what I wrote on the cast list and figures the last thing I want to hear is how great they think Cynthia Pirelli is in my part. Boy, are they wrong.
Things pick up in the second act, and even though it's still no
Godspell,
the show is working better now. I guess part of the problem in the first act was having to set everything up -- believe me, as a playwright, I know how hard it is to make exposition interesting. The whole melee at the Harmonia Gardens is hysterical -- Roger plays incensed about as well as I've ever seen him play anything, and the last scene with him and Dolly, when they finally get together -- well, don't tell anybody this, but it actually makes me cry. God, I hope nobody notices.
The audience loves it, and at curtain call there are hoots and yells, and when Cynthia comes out to take her bow everyone stands up. I'm careful to be neither the first nor the last one standing, but you bet I'm on my feet. She deserves it, and nobody knows that better than I do.
Afterwards, I want to go backstage and congratulate Elliot and give him flowers, which I know will make me look like a good sport. I get Taylor to come with me, because, again, I have to choreograph everything perfectly. It can't look like I'm intentionally shunning Cynthia, but I also can't tell her, right now, how great she did. So I have to be sure to find Elliot when he is nowhere near Cynthia.
We get backstage and Cynthia is right at center stage in the middle of a bunch of people handing her flowers and hugging her and Elliot is on the other side of her and I'm trying to figure out how to get to him gracefully when the circle around Cynthia opens up and she sees me and we lock eyes for a second and we smile at each other and I decide right then and there to do it. I decide to go give Cynthia a hug and congratulate her and let people think whatever they want to think. I am just so proud of her -- how could I not?
I start to cross to her and I guess Taylor thinks I'm going to pick a fight or something, because she grabs hold of my arm and holds me back, and in that second Roger Morton steps between me and Cynthia and the next thing I know she's hugging Roger and then she kisses him on the cheek and he's whispering into her ear and she's whispering into his ear and he takes her by the hand and then she's sort of nodding towards me and he's looking at me and they're both laughing and I can read the whole story in an instant. She and Roger are now an item and she actually told him that I like him. "You want to hear something deliciously funny," she probably said. "Agatha Stockdale, that fat girl -- she likes you." "How droll," said Roger. "Now lets go out to my car and make out."
I throw the flowers onto the floor and tear out of the theatre as fast as I can. I'll just have to congratulate Elliot later.
Scene 1
Ido my best to put the whole Cynthia
and Roger thing out of my mind over the weekend. We run the entire show twice on Saturday, once in the afternoon and once in the evening, so I've got plenty to think about. We still have a lot of details to work out, but Saturday night is the first time we've run the whole show straight through without stopping, and everybody applauds afterwards -- partly because they're exhausted and want to pat themselves on the back for surviving six hours of rehearsal, but also because, for the first time, we can see the show actually working. It's funny how you can write stuff that seems brilliant on paper, but until you get it up on stage and actually run it at speed, you're not sure if it plays or not.
We get done about eleven, and I spend Saturday night with Taylor. We've pledged to get up early in the morning to work on our respective history papers, but when the alarm goes off at 6:30 neither one of us is ready to face reality so we sleep for another two hours until Taylor has to get ready for church.
Of course she wants me to come with her, so I tell her that I need the time to catch up on schoolwork since I've been spending so many hours at rehearsal, and that's true, but it's also true that I don't want to go. They go on quite a bit about forgiving your enemies there, and I'm in no mood to forgive Cynthia Pirelli.
Sunday afternoon is cue to cue. If you've never been to a cue to cue rehearsal, it's basically lots of standing around while the tech crew fiddles with lights and fixes sound and other things that only people like Suzanne understand. Then, when you finally get to start a scene, just as you're starting to get into it, somebody yells, "OK, skip to cue seventeen please," and you have to stop acting and stand around for another twenty minutes.
"So," says Cameron as we're waiting for Suzanne to perfect the next light, "I guess Cynthia Pirelli had some sort of secret acting lessons to get ready for
Dolly.
"
"What makes you say that?" I say, trying without success not to sound defensive.
"Didn't you see her bio in the program?" says Cameron. "It was something like, 'Cynthia would like to thank Mr. Parkinson for giving her this chance, her family for all their support, and her acting coach, who made this performance possible.'"
"I wonder who it was?" says Taylor.
"No idea," I say, and just like Peter, I've denied Cynthia for the third time -- only this time I don't feel even a twinge of guilt.
Once cue to cue is finished we add something new every night, and now we're all starting to get really excited, because we can tell we have a great show. Monday night the band shows up. We've been working with recorded music or a rehearsal pianist, but Elliot recruited some musicians from the
Hello, Dolly!
pit band and now that their show is over they can play for us. They sound amazing! I had forgotten what a difference it makes to have live music. Of course Elliot is the piano player, so he's watching the show from behind his sheet music, but I think he's really impressed with what we've accomplished in the past week. He keeps smiling at me and winking at the end of every scene. It's kind of cute.
