The F#ck It List: The Complete Story (9 page)

"Not yet."

"Please, please, please." My nerve endings fire with desperate need and heat blasts from my pussy. My body is slick with sweat and damp tendrils of hair clings to my face.

He spanks me hard on one of my ass cheeks. I can feel it redden, a mark from him to take home as a trophy. "What is it you want?"

"I want to come, sir." Any other time I'd be embarrassed at the needling tone.

"What do you want?" His voice is harsh and stern and makes me shiver.

What does he mean? What am I supposed to say? "Please, sir. I want you to fuck me."

"What do you want?" the words echo around the bedroom.

I shout out the only thing I can think of. "Your cock, sir."

He rams into me with a force that causes a startled, strangled noise come from the back of my throat. He dives into me hard, but slow, still not giving me what I need. What I crave.

Am I supposed to keep begging, or stay patient?

I decide to chance it. "Please let me come, sir."

"How?"

"What?"

"How do you want to come?"

"Preferably screaming."

He spanks me on my other cheek for my sarcastic tone and my lack of using the word sir. "How do you want to come?"

I don't understand what he wants from me. I'm so close yet so far and I just want release. "I don't know, sir."

He stills all the way inside me. "Do you want me to fuck you like this? Do you want me to take your gorgeous ass? Do you want me to flip you over and fuck your mouth? Do you want me to yank at your nipples? Do you want me to spank you while I pound into you with my cock? How do you want to come?"

The answer finally reveals itself. "I am yours to command, sir. I want to come however you want me to."

My words please him and he finally starts to fuck me like he means it. Running his hands up my sides, he grasps my tits, squeezing them. He takes my nipples between his fingers and pinches and pulls while he keeps slamming into me. He reaches that favorite place of mine deep inside. The one bordering on pain, but is all pleasure. I close my teeth over his pillow, biting down against the lust swarming through me.

He anchors himself with my nipples, his fingers harsh, adding to the frenzy barreling through me. Releasing one of my breasts, he moves his hand down to my clit and starts spanking it again.

Four smacks is all it takes for me to fly completely apart. I scream myself hoarse again as the fire and ice slither over and through me. The stranger releases me, returning his grip to my hips and fucks me hard as he races towards his own release. Before mine has crested, another builds. My hands are numb and my entire body is sore, but the fire and ice flares hot and cold making me scream yet again.

He lets out a hoarse growl and collapses against me, sending us both crashing to the bed. He rolls off me immediately, reaching up to release me from the cuffs. Pins and needles poke at my hands as feeling returns. I clutch them to my chest as I try to bring my breathing back under control.

We stay there in silence for a few moments, the only noise our ragged breaths. I'm completely sated, and definitely can't handle any more tonight.

I glance over at his window and my eyes widen. Or this morning. Dawn trickles through the thin curtains, lightening up the room. When did that happen?

With utterly no desire to sleep here, I heave myself off the bed. "I have to get going."

He sits up. "Do you want me to take you home?"

That would ruin the whole thing. We're strangers in the night. He can't know where I live. "No, I'm good. Thanks."

He picks up on my desire to leave. "All right."

I smile and lean in to kiss him one last time. "Thank you for last night. It was amazing."

"So were you."

His kiss almost makes me want to climb back into bed with him. Instead, with a sigh, I go back out to the living room and retrieve my clothes.

I
walk unsteadily
from so many powerful orgasms out of the stranger's apartment building. I blink against the morning light. Where the fuck am I? How am I going to get home? I consider calling Scott, but it would just prove him right.

"Hey."

I jump at the voice before recognizing it. I spin around. "Scott? What the fuck are you doing here?"

He shrugs, not even a little sheepishly. "I followed you."

"You what?" I hiss at him so we don't disturb anyone at this god-awful early hour of the morning, and lead him away from the stranger's place.

He huffs. "I was worried about you. Which you already knew. A picture wasn't going to be enough. And I saw him take you away in an Uber. How did you plan on getting home?"

I gape at him, his words true, but I'm too pissed off to admit it yet. "That wasn't your problem. I'm perfectly capable of calling an Uber myself or a taxi or even finding a bus. I'm a grown ass woman, Scott."

He looms close to me, making me stumble back. He's so close my sore breasts brush against his chest with every breath. They harden in response and I want to curse them. "You are my best fucking friend. I didn't think you should do this, but I backed off because you're right. You are a grown ass woman. With a
fine
ass by the way. But I wasn't going to sit by when you could be in danger. I was going to make sure you were safe. So I followed you. And waited for you while you fucked a stranger. Because I am your best friend and I am always going to have your fucking back."

He waited for me for hours. I don't even know if I'm still pissed of relieved. He makes me feel loved and suffocated all at once.

My fury flies away and I slump. I don't want to fight anymore. "Let's go get food. It's like five AM and I'm starving." I worked up quite an appetite and need to replenish my calories.

He blinks, the fight melting out of him, and grins at me with cocky relief. "Sounds wonderful."

I slide my arm through his and let him escort me to his car. I guess he won this round, but I'm still flying so high from multiple orgasms that I really don't care. And I'm tired of the tension between us. I want things to go back to normal. I hate fighting with him. It always ruins my day.

The car ride is thick with tension and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to fix us. We've had fights before, but this one felt different. I don't know if it's because of the sex or what. I have been changing a lot lately, doing things I've never done before or even knew I wanted to do. Maybe he thinks he's losing me. Or maybe he doesn't like who I'm turning into.

We don't talk much until we slide into our usual booth and order our usual meals. I'm glad I don't have classes today because I'd have to beg off. Exhaustion pulls at me, but the smell of frying bacon perks me right up, giving me a second wind. Or maybe more like a seventh by now. I can't believe I was fucked all night long.

Scott turns to me while we wait for our orders. "So, how'd it go?"

I raise a brow. "You sure you want to hear about this one?"

"Of course. You're back safe, none the worse for wear except for the way you're walking. That's two struck from the list, so tell me how was it?"

"I'll tell you about it in a bit. First, we need to talk."

He sighs. "I know. Look, Amanda, I know I pissed you off and almost ruined it for you, and I'm sorry. I really am. You apparently had a good time and you're still alive, so I guess I freaked out for nothing. I was just so worried."

I frown at him. "Clearly. You sort of stalked me. And honestly, you were probably in more danger than I was, lurking around the building all night."

He grins, unrepentant. "I'm not sorry for that. I'll always be there if I think you'll be in danger. I just regret I got so mad at you and caused a fight between us."

"So, you haven't started disliking who I've been turning into?"

His mouth falls open. "Of course not. I love how free and adventurous you've been lately. You might think you're changing, but you aren't. You're back to who you always were before that jackass came into your life. And it's been a huge relief to me to see it. You've been a shadow of yourself for six years and I've missed my friend being herself. And even if you did change, I'd still love you. I haven't stopped yet."

Relief melts through me at his words. What did I ever do to deserve such loyalty? "Oh, thank goodness. And look, I know what I did was probably stupid and I know I’m taking this whole thing way too seriously. I guess I'm just trying to make up for lost time. Find myself again, you know? I want to graduate myself with no hint left of the puppet Adam turned me into."

"I get it. I do, love. Let's not fight again, okay?"

"Deal."

He kisses my cheek, catching the corner of my lips with his. Warmth spreads from it and into my cheeks, which pink a little. "Now tell me about your night. I take it it was good since you're walking a little...awkwardly."

I flush at his teasing me about my awkward stride. A thought strikes me. A rather disturbing one. "Could you hear us? Or me?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, while you were waiting for me all night, could you, uh, well, hear me?"

He grins. "You mean, your screams and moans of pleasure?"

I flush, but nod. "Yes, that's what I mean."

Scott leers at me. "Oh yeah I could."

I bury my face into my hands. "Shit. I'm surprised you didn't burst through the door, certain I was being murdered."

He brings his lips to my ear like the stranger did last night. I shudder even harder from Scott's closeness. "You forget, love. I know what your screams of pleasure sound like."

If it's possible, I turn even redder. "Oh, hell."

"Don't be embarrassed. Not with me. Besides, it was hot as hell."

I raise my head to look at Scott. "You didn't...look in or anything?"

He scowls. "Of course not. I'm not a damn peeping Tom. I'd never invade your privacy like that."

"I know. I know." Though I'm not sure I would've cared if he had. "I wouldn't have been pissed if you had."

He cocks a brow and leers at me some more. "Oh really?"

I backtrack. "I mean, I know you were worried about me, so I would've understood you know, if you had wanted to check and make sure I was okay."

"Do you have a little exhibitionist fantasy, love?"

"Maybe."

"Wow." He shakes his entire body like a wet dog. "Okay. Tell me what happened."

"He...he was into BDSM. He gave me a little tutorial in the lifestyle."

Scott's breathing hitches and his eyes widen. "And?"

"And what?" I look down at the white fabric-covered table.

"And are you interested in the lifestyle?" He nudges me with his elbow.

I cock my head to the side as I consider. "Well, I definitely enjoyed everything he did to me. But it was also super intense, and he went easy on me because I'm not in the scene."

"What did he do?" Scott asks.

I tell him in whispers about the feathers and clamps, and the crawling and begging, turning cherry red from embarrassment now that I'm no longer pulsing with desire and horny. I pout a little when I tell him about the orgasm denial, though I do admit to him it made the orgasms stronger.

Scott clears his throat, his pupils big and dark in his blue eyes. "Would you want to do it again? Go further?"

"I'd definitely do those things again. And I'd be willing to try other things, but I still have no interest in extreme pain. I think spankings and clamps is as far as I can go."

"BDSM isn't all about pain, love. It's about giving up control and submission. Or taking control and domination. Sometimes there's no pain at all. Even the fun kind. It all depends on what you need and want."

I frown at him. "How do you know so much about it?"

He grins and tickles my ribs. "I read. And Google."

I laugh. "Are you sure you aren't a Dom and just haven't told me?"

A strange look crosses his face, but it's too fleeting for me to read. "I tell you everything, love."

I pierce him with a glare, fighting to keep the smile from my face. "You better. Lord knows I've been telling you way more than I probably should."

He scoots closer to me and wraps an arm around my back, resting his hand on my hip. "Of course you should."

I rest my head on his shoulder, breathing in his ocean breeze scent. That weirdness is back. Being here with him is so easy, so natural. So right.

The waitress brings out drinks and food and he raises his glass. "To no more fights."

I clink them together. "No more fights."

I
have been stalking
Derek on Facebook. Scott heard he's back home after graduating college, working at the Home Depot. According to Derek's status, he's working later today. And I've decided it's time to spruce up my room. It actually could use a lot of work. I've been meaning to paint over the boring taupe walls for a while. And I want to continue purging my life from my time with Adam. No more boring Amanda. I want something bold and bright in here.

Thankfully, Derek doesn't have a girlfriend, or I'd have had to choose someone else. Or skip him altogether. I check the time and curse. Scott will be here any minute. I spent too much time checking out the shirtless pictures on Derek's profile. If he wasn't so hot and didn't have such a glorious torso, he'd look like a complete douche for all his mirror and gym selfies.

I dress in tiny cutoff shorts and a blue tank, sliding my feet into wedge sandals so my legs and ass look hot. I'm nice and tan from all my time laying out on the quad. After checking myself out in the mirror and giving a final pat to my hair, I head outside to wait for Scott.

He pulls up right as I step onto the sidewalk and I slide in, grinning at him. He smiles in response, but his eyes stay solemn.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

He checks his mirrors before easing away from the curb. "Yeah, just tired."

"Do you think I look all right? Or does it look like I'm trying too hard?"

"You look hot. You always look hot."

I flush with pleasure from his words. "Thanks. I'm nervous. The others have been basically strangers. People I'll never see again, especially once we graduate. But Derek will always be here every time I come home."

"Yeah, the guy graduates from college and comes home to work at Home Depot. I guess college ball didn't do much for his career goals." His voice is snide and sarcastic.

I frown at him. "Don't be a snob, Scott."

"You could do better. I know you always had a crush on him, but he was always such an idiot."

"I'm not trying to become his girlfriend. I just want a little one-time fun." I raise my voice a little in protest.

Scott's lips twist. "I know. But still."

"Wasn't he your idea for the list?" My memories are a little vague, the booze and extreme pleasure of the rest of the night making everything before fuzzy.

"Probably. I was drunk. So were you. And here we are."

I frown at his sullen tone. I want to call him on it, especially after everything with the stranger, but I don't want to get into another fight. With our relationship changing so much, I am starting to wonder if this is all worth it. I'm not sure if it was because we blurred the line of friends with our sexy times or if it's the list. Maybe I shouldn't involve him in this quite so much anymore.

He doesn’t seem able to move out of caretaking mode. This is why other people’s best friends are girls, I suppose.

My worries and thoughts fly from my mind as Scott starts acting like his usual self for the rest of the drive. We joke and reminisce, he teases and I pretend to take offense.

He probably is just tired. Graduation is coming soon and classes are a lot more intense right now as we study for finals.

We make it to the Home Depot, and Scott drops me off out front before finding a parking space. It's pretty crowded, so I hope I can find Derek and have a few minutes to drop some not too subtle hints.

I walk through the automatic doors and the scents of fresh lumber and rubber embrace me. I've always loved coming to hardware stores, My dad used to bring me along all the time. It smells like him in here. Of safety and home and special father-daughter time.

First, I wander around the store, my eyes roving for a glimpse of Derek. Like it was meant to be, I find him in the paint section.

I ignore him at first, taking peeks at him as I browse the colors. I'm leaning towards a bright shade of blue. I've gathered a handful of those little paint chip samples before Derek sees and recognizes me.

"Amanda?"

I turn with a little frown on my face. "Yeah?" When I meet his eyes, I smile wide in delight. "Derek?"

He nods, grinning. "How long has it been?"

I nod. "A while. How are you? When did you get back?" Like I don't know the answer to all of that. After my stalking, I probably know more about what he's been up to than he does.

I step in and hug him, pressing my tits into his chest before stepping back.

His eyes dart down to my cleavage before he forces them back to my face. "I'm good. I came back after graduating. Just figuring out my next step."

I imagine Scott's snort of derision from that answer, but shake it off. I don't care about any of that, especially now that I'm in front of him, in person, and he is so fucking hot. Oh. My. Word.

Even better than his pictures. Even in his little orange apron.

"Nice. I bet your parents are happy to have you home."

He rubs the back of his neck, a shadow crossing through his eyes too fast for me to read. "Yeah. So, what about you?"

I lean against the paint chip shelf, crossing my legs in front of me. "I'm graduating soon. Then, I don't know."

"What's your major?" he asks my legs.

Trying not to smile, I say, "Forensic science."

His eyes widen and he looks back up at my face. "Wow. That's pretty cool. So, you're gonna be like Bones or something?"

I hide a cringe. She's a freaking forensic anthropologist. And I won't be chasing down bad guys, I'll be in a lab. "Something like that, yeah." I force a laugh and focus my eyes on his biceps. They're barely contained in his shirtsleeves.

"So, what are you here for?" he asks.

I bite my bottom lip. "Paint. My bedroom needs an update."

"Bedroom, huh?" His tone has a teasing undertone.

I smile wide. "Yup. It's the most important room, after all. I want it to look a little more welcoming and fun."

His grin matches mine. "I see."

"Maybe you can help me decide. I'm thinking blue. But I'm having a hard time picking the right shade. Which color would put you in a good mood?" I hold out the samples, looking up at him through lowered lashes.

He steps close into me and he smells like the store, but even better. I hadn't gotten a whiff from our quick hug before. Derek positions himself so he's looking over my shoulder. His breath brushes against my skin and I shiver. I arch my neck and meet his eyes. He notices. He also notices the abundant amount of cleavage my tiny tank reveals.

I do have glorious breasts. Or so I've been told. Multiple times, now.

Derek reaches around and pulls one of the paint samples. "This color blue would definitely get me in the mood."

I hide my pleased smile and turn to him, brushing my tits against his arm. "I was drawn to that one too. Thank you."

He all but leers at me. "Anytime. And if it doesn't work out quite right, come back and we'll try something else."

"I'll do that."

Feeling smug and excited, I check out with my paint and accept his help carrying my purchases out to the car. I hug him goodbye after he loads the paint in the trunk and his hands grip my low on my waist, almost brushing my ass.

"It was good seeing you," he says into my neck.

I shiver again and step back. "You too. We should catch up soon."

He nods and grins. "I'd like that."

I slip into the car after he heads back to the store, and I grin at Scott. "I got my paint."

"Looks like you got a little more than that."

My brows raise at his annoyed tone. "Not really. It was crowded in there and it's not like I could just ask him to fuck me sometime."

"Why not?" Scott asks. "Trust me, it would have worked just fine."

"Where's the fun in that?" I tease.

"Indeed."

Grumpy Scott is back. Great.

He's probably just pissy because he knows full well he's going to be the one to do all the painting.