The Fight for Us (17 page)

“You’re allowed to like her.” Nat’s words were pointed and spoken very deliberately as she watched him.

“It’s…”

Their voices rang out in unison as they ended that phrase together. “
Complicated.”

Nat smiled at him. It was a sad smile though. “I know you think you’re responsible, but you aren’t.”

He held his breath for a moment. He’d always gone to great lengths to not self-chastise himself in front of her. He didn’t want to saddle her with his guilt, but she’d seen through that.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

He glanced at her again, still saying nothing. When he finally settled on a response, he took a deep breath. “I wasn’t as present for your mom as I should have been. You too for that matter. I let my job get in the way—”

“You were busy.”

“That’s not a good excuse. My investigations could be consuming. I obsessed over them. But it didn’t give me the right to neglect you and your mom.”

“And that’s why you quit?”

He nodded. “I didn’t balance my family with work the way I should have, and I missed a lot of things I should have seen. That’s not going to happen again. It didn’t help matters that I came to resent my job after your mom died. My heart just wasn’t in it anymore, and frankly, I was glad for that. It meant my priorities had a chance to straighten themselves out.”

“But you’re going to work again, right?”

“Sure. I don’t know what. I don’t even really care. Hell, I’ll work at the sewer plant for all it matters to me.” He chuckled then, and she laughed.

“Awesome, cause people don’t have enough reason to pick on me.” Her voice was laced with sarcasm, but she brought up a good point.

“How are things going with the other kids?”

She bobbled her head from side to side for a moment as she contemplated. “Better. Lena and Jen are still, you know, B-I-T-C-H-es, and some of their friends can be difficult. But a lot of the kids seem to like me just because I’m good at volleyball. Can’t complain about that.”

“And Harper? You guys seem like you’re friends, but she also seems like her friends don’t necessarily jibe with you.”

“I guess. I mean, we’re friends, and I really like her—more than anyone I’ve met here, but I understand. Her friends don’t know me. But she tries to include me a lot. She doesn’t leave me out, and—” She was bobbling her head again. “—that helps. Most of her group accepts me, even though they still don’t say too much to me except when Harper is there.” She shrugged. “We’ll see. It’s better, and Harper isn’t friends with Lena or Jen anymore either. In fact, they can be rude to Harper now too when she’s walking with me. She ignores it, but I know it bothers her.”

“I’m kind of impressed by her.” He admitted.

Nat smiled. “Then maybe you should stop being angry at her mom.” She elbowed him.

“I’m not angry with Joss. I’m really not. It’s barely been a year and half since your mom died. I’m just not sure I’m ready. I think my behavior says that much loud and clear.”

“Then stop being a jerk.” She was smiling when she said it. “Dad, will you buy me a new dress?”

Well that was a topic hop if he’d ever heard one.

“What? Why? You have dresses.”

“The fall festival tomorrow night. Duh.”

“Shit.”

“Dad!”

“Sorry. Umm…” He was having a hard time thinking straight all of a sudden. He’d promised Nat he’d take her, but that meant Joss time. He loved Joss time. He was also terrified of Joss time. “Okay, yeah. A dress. We better get going then.”

Chapter Fifteen

“Hi.” Joss was staring at Isaiah, startled that he’d suddenly appeared in front of her. Her heart raced for a moment thanks to his unreadable expression. She’d been terrified as hell she’d run into him tonight, and now, she was just terrified he might say something else that would shatter her heart.

He pulled his lower lip into his mouth for a moment as he looked at her. He appeared as nervous as she felt.

“Hi.” He took a deep breath, slowly letting it out as his attention shifted down to her chin.

Her hand instantly shot to her face before she could stop it, and she started fidgeting with the gnarled skin.

His brow flinched for a moment before he reached to her hand and pulled it away from her face. “Don’t do that. Your flaws are just as beautiful as the rest of you.” He cleared his throat then as his hand dropped from hers and his focus shifted away. He seemed so horribly nervous, and who the hell could blame him? She was one rather large ball of nerves herself.

Instead of focusing on her nerves, she let her mind move away to an incredibly arousing fantasy of him pulling her into his arms and whispering against her ear. She loved the way he let his lips touch her skin when he spoke quietly to her. He’d done it a few times recently, and when her attention moved slowly down to his mouth, he clamped his lower lip between his teeth again. What she wouldn’t give to hear this man tell her he was ready for her—tell her that and mean it.

“Yes.” She whispered the response, not realizing there was no question to respond to until he spoke again.

“What?” He was looking at her quizzically.

“Oh… Nothing. Sorry, my mind was just wandering.” She grimaced. She was feeling all sorts of vulnerable in front of him at the moment. That kind of vulnerability tended to come with reputation-shattering confessions like whoring herself to her ex-husband. She just didn’t have a fucking clue how to act around him at the moment.

The chuckle that returned sent a flush over her skin and started to calm the anxiety that was welling up inside her.

“Where exactly was your mind wandering to?” His voice was quiet, but his raised eyebrows were entirely too playful for a man like him.

She smiled sheepishly. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she muttered as she looked around for Harper.

Harper was standing next to Nat by the hors d’oeuvre table, and when Nat saw her looking, she waved and pulled Harper along with her to where Joss and Isaiah were milling around by the door. The band, some folksy group she’d heard a time or two, was warming up on the stage, and soon, the room would be filled with tables of Bristol’s finest, food galore, and dancing. At the moment, people were still filtering in, hanging up coats, straightening their dresses and ties and trying to be nonchalant in the pre-party atmosphere.

“Hi, Ms. Verna!” Nat greeted her with a huge smile.

All Joss could think about was the pain this child had endured before she’d ever gotten out of grade school. She was one of the sweetest girls she’d ever met, and it was hard to believe she could be after everything she’d experienced.

“Hey, Nat. And
please
call me Joss.” Joss understood manners perfectly well, but it just wasn’t warranted with her.

“Okay.” Nat replied shyly. “Umm… Can Harper spend the night tonight? I mean, if it’s okay with Dad?”

Joss glanced at him, and he nodded. “Can’t say we won’t put her to work in box city.”

Joss laughed. “Yeah, I noticed the other day they seem to have taken over your house.”

His smile promptly fell from his lips, and she was suddenly clearing her throat. It was apparently a painful reminder for both of them, and she’d managed to bring that reminder front and center.

“When were you over? I didn’t know you—” Nat was smiling awkwardly at her.

“Oh, no…I wasn’t… I mean, I just—” She started shaking her head, panicking.

“Joss just stopped by a week or so ago for a few minutes to chat…
about the house
.” Isaiah finished quickly, but not quickly enough or convincingly enough.

“Uh, sure she did.” Her own daughter was now tormenting her, and within seconds both girls were laughing. If they only knew how horrid their morning had turned out, they wouldn’t appreciate the humor.

As it was, the conversation fizzled completely then. Isaiah started rocking on the outside of his shoes, and Joss started stretching her jaw and looking around for a distraction. Of course, all of this led to their girls looking back and forth between them in utter confusion.

“Isaiah! I was hoping to see you here.” Bill Fillmore, the town mayor, was approaching, still shrugging himself out of his coat and stomping snow from his feet. “So good to see you again.” The man was all smiles.

Joss swore his teeth were twice as big as the average person, but fortunately, he was actually a nice man, so his mega-teeth weren’t creepy. They were, however, exceptionally white, glaringly so, and because the man smiled for a living they could be a distraction.

“Ah, Joss, you’ve met our newest resident I see.”

“I have. Yes. Our daughters go to school together.”

“Wonderful! Well, Isaiah, I dare say she’s the finest, fairest realtor on this island, so if you’ve a mind to plant your roots deeper one of these days, she’s your gal.” Fillmore clapped a friendly hand on Isaiah’s shoulder and used his other hand to shake Isaiah’s fiercely.

“No need to tell me. I close on an Easterly Drive house next Friday thanks to Ms. Verna.”

“Splendid! I’m thrilled you’re with us for the long haul. Really is a fine community, and we can always use more fine residents to go with it.”

Joss couldn’t stop glancing at Isaiah who was politely smiling and nodding.

“Thank you. I’m glad we’ll be here too. Have you met my daughter? This is Natalie.”

Fillmore shook Natalie’s hand just as aggressively as he’d shaken Isaiah’s, and as her arm was being pumped up and down spastically, Harper stifled a laugh.

“You must join us at our table for dinner. I want you to meet the Chief of Police, Fred Jeffries. Board just signed off on letting him hire another officer. Going to be up to six officers soon. But on another note—” Fillmore bowed his head as though he was telling a secret for only Isaiah to hear “—Jeffries is planning on retiring in the spring of next year, between you and me, of course. Something to think about.” Fillmore tapped the side of his nose twice, and Isaiah chuckled, nodding politely and humoring the man. “Joss, you and Harper should join us too.” Fillmore was, as usual, his exuberant self.

“Oh, I’m sorry. We can’t. Steph saved us seats, and I promised we’d sit with her.”

She felt oddly relieved and, at the same time, completely disappointed. There wasn’t a chance, given her nerves, she could eat in front of Isaiah without getting half of it in her lap. The black party dress she was wearing would look none too fine with her dinner on it, but she was just nervous as hell around him at the moment. It didn’t mean she wanted to give him up.

“Next time then, Joss. We’ll see you later.” Fillmore gave her a quick hug, and then he was pulling Isaiah and Nat away from her.

“I’ll catch up to you later. We won’t stay too late, and Harper can just come home with us.” Isaiah tossed over his shoulder as he was pulled through the crowd.

Soon, Joss was sitting at a table with Steph, and Steph was staring at her.

“Stop looking at him. You’re being obvious,” Steph whispered.

“I’m not looking at anyone,” she muttered.

Steph scoffed. “Are too. You can’t seem to pull your eyes from him. Course, he’s looking at you too, so I suppose it’s allowed.”

“Are you two talking about Isaiah?”

“No—”

“Yes—” Well, Steph obviously wasn’t going to be keeping any of her secrets.

“Duh, Mom. I already know you guys are big time crushing on each other. It’s so obvious. You should just date him.”

“I don’t think so, hun.”

She dodged more of the same insinuations for the remainder of dinner, and by the time she was finished eating, her neck was stiff from gawking at Isaiah, her daughter had rolled her eyes at least twenty-five times, and Steph was looking at her sadly.

“Dance?” His warm voice over her shoulder as he leaned down from behind her chair made her jump, and Steph instantly burst out laughing.

“Oh…Isaiah. You just… Well, there you are, aren’t you?” She was getting a bit
Bridget Jones
on him.

“Just say yes, and stop talking. Weird things happen when you start talking.” His voice was low and quiet as he spoke from her side. When his fingers touched hers that were still holding her napkin in her lap, she gasped and spun toward him, nearly taking his nose off with hers as she whipped her head around.

He took her hand, and she stood. That touch alone had her holding her breath. No man had ever pushed her from sane to crazy aroused so fast in her whole life. It was depressing to know they just couldn’t work. Too much drama. Too much past. Too much life getting in the way.

“You look incredible.” He pulled her onto the dance floor as he spoke, and then she was in his arms.

She’d naturally had him in mind when she chose the dress. It wasn’t in any way sexy, but she did love it. It was black, long sleeve, and with a fitted bodice and full skirt that fell to an inch or two above her knees. Her black stockings were thigh high, and the G-string underwear, bra and garter belt under her dress were just as black. They’d been hidden in the back of her underwear drawer for longer than Joss could recall, and when Harper had caught her fishing around in the back of the drawer for them, Joss had quickly stuffed them back in—eventually sneaking them out. She was just waiting for some part of this ensemble to malfunction and leave her with her stockings around her ankle or a garter strap hanging out from under her skirt. But she’d wanted to look good. Hell, she’d wanted to feel good.

“Thanks,” she mumbled. “You do too.” He looked amazing actually.

The song was a lilting folksy waltz that wasn’t country enough to drive her crazy. It was mesmerizingly slow, and Isaiah’s feet knew exactly what they were doing as he kept her in a perfect waltz box. It was a damn good thing he knew what he was doing, because she was beyond focusing on anything but his eyes and the touch of his hand on the left side of her lower back. Seeing as his eyes and hand never left her, it was a bit trance like.

“Care if I cut in?” The question wasn’t much of a real question at all, and she didn’t need to see Todd’s face to know it was leering at them behind her shoulder, threatening to destroy the mood.

Isaiah’s jaw tensed harshly as he stared at her, but he controlled the anger. “Yes, we mind.” Isaiah’s voice was bordering on dismissive when he said it.