The Fight for Us (15 page)

“Shut the fuck up. You know it’s not up to you.” He sneered. “Why? Don’t you like my company?” His sneer had turned taunting quickly.

Joss didn’t say a word, but she forced herself to look at him calmly. He’d traded being physically abusive when she agreed to this arrangement, but Joss still didn’t trust him not to lash out if she said something fractious, so her words were always measured. Todd smirked in response to her refusal to answer. It was a sickening seductive smirk, and Joss instantly stood. When she reached the door, she turned back to Todd. He was scooping food from the casserole dish onto a plate, helping himself to what she’d made for another man. “Harper and I have a busy day tomorrow. You should sleep on the couch.”

“Oh, should I?” The sarcasm was inescapable, and he disregarded her comment further by bobbling his head mockingly.

She closed the door to her bedroom and climbed into bed with Harper at her side. The sitcom they attempted to immerse themselves in was pointless, and the first commercial that came on, Harper grabbed the remote and muted the T.V.

“I hate it when he comes here, Mom. He is
such
a jerk.” As was often the case with teenage girls, Harper seemed more annoyed with Joss than truly upset, but Joss knew it was just the reaction. It was the cause behind it that worried Joss.

“I know. He’ll be gone by tomorrow.” Joss tucked Harper’s long dark bangs behind her ears as she rolled onto her side to look at her. “I’m sorry you have to put up with it.”

“Why was Nat’s dad upset with you about it? It’s not like it’s your fault my dad does this.”

“It’s complicated.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Well, she’d gotten Joss on that one. It was a lousy fucking answer. But this wasn’t a conversation she could have with her daughter, and she ignored the comment, turning her attention back to the T.V.

They managed to avoid Todd for the rest of the evening, and once Harper went to bed, Joss hopped in the shower in her master bathroom and stood in the hot steam. She started crying. It hurt to see Isaiah walk away from her because of Todd. She was angry at Isaiah, she was angry at Todd, and more than anything, she was angry at herself for allowing Todd to continue to call the shots in her life. She had her reasons, but at the moment, her reasons seemed damned ridiculous.

Isaiah was right. There was no surprise at all when Todd walked through her door. Isaiah was good at seeing through her words and her actions to the core of the situation. He was exceptionally good at weeding through the bullshit. She should have known this would blow up in her face eventually. Hell, she’d been lucky to get this far along without Todd showing up sooner to wreak havoc on her life. There had never been a chance Todd wouldn’t destroy anything she might hope to have with another man.

When she finally pulled herself from the shower, it was as she brushed the last of her tears from her cheeks.

“Who is he?”

She jumped as her attention snapped to Todd sitting on her bathroom counter watching her lasciviously as she stood naked in front of him. She reached for the towel she’d hung on the hook and found it empty. He chuckled. It was no mistake the towel was missing.

“That’s none of your business. Please get out.”

“No.” He let his attention move over her body as she crossed one arm on her chest and used her free hand to hide her crotch. “Come on now. You know how this works.”

She glared at him and refused to loosen her hold on her body.

“Damn! My girl’s being defiant today.” He shrugged his shoulder as his brows shot up in amusement. That’s all she’d ever been to him. Just an amusing toy he could fuck with.

He slid from the counter, walking slowly toward her, and she held her ground. But when his hand clasped the one she’d tucked under her arm to hide her chest, she whimpered. His hand squeezed harshly on hers. As he unpeeled her arm from her body, she tightened her muscles, trying to fight it. It was useless, and soon, he was staring at her tits, still gripping her hand harshly within his.

“Give me what I want.” His voice was sickeningly quiet as he crooned to her. When his free hand suddenly shot out and punched her in the stomach, she gave up modesty altogether as the hand that was covering her groin instinctively moved to clutch her stomach and her body doubled over. She couldn’t breathe for a moment, and in that time, he spun her body to face the bathroom mirror, pushing her to the counter and pinning her in place with his body behind her.

“Come on. Just like we always do.” He was still using that sweet sing-song voice in her ear as he watched her in the mirror.

She struggled to breathe. His hips were pushing into her bottom, and his hands held her hips in place. When he moved to her other ear, she flinched.

“Then I’ll be gone tomorrow. You get to keep this nice, affordable roof over your head. You get to keep our daughter all to yourself. Hell, you can even go back to your new boy toy.”

“I can’t do this anymore.” She barely got the words out before his hand snatched the hair at the scalp of her head and started twisting. He was pulling her hair painfully, and she swore she could feel one strand after another popping from the follicles as he twisted, pulled, snarled, and tangled her hair.

“Oh, no?”

She didn’t have any idea what her refusal would ultimately mean. So far, it had gotten her a fist to the gut and a few less hairs, but she’d gotten worse from him when they were married, and her heart was pounding loudly as her head swam with the possibilities. He’d traded the physical violence for sexual torment when they’d gotten divorced, and she’d agreed to this arrangement—the lesser of the two evils. But would he even let her turn him down? In the five years they’d been doing this, she’d never tried it to find out. She’d just played the game, knowing he’d stay gone for a few months if she did and she could live Todd free for the most part.

He chuckled, still looking over her shoulder at her but finally releasing her hair as she cried out. “Fuck me, and I won’t buy a house on Bristol.”

“So, that’s why you’re looking?” She panted the words out. “So you can live here and torment me?” She groaned as she stood up straighter and stretched her stomach muscles.

“I
live
to torment you.” He didn’t even bother hiding that fact from her. He hadn’t hidden it from her since the moment she picked up the phone, called him, and told him she was divorcing him. Odd thing was he didn’t even love her. Never had. Hell, he’d never even wanted a child, and had it been his choice, she’d have been in stirrups ‘ending’ her little problem within a week of finding out she was pregnant. But it wasn’t up to him, and that wasn’t a decision she was willing to make. It was the defiance she’d shown that bothered him most. He was a man who got his way. And when she walked out, it had fueled his rage toward her. He used that rage now to taunt and torment her.

“And if I don’t fuck you?”

His lips pulled up as he smiled at her. “Then Bristol’s population is going to grow again, and I’m not talking about that man you’re fucking and his fugly ass daughter.” His fingers trailed down her arm as she shivered. “And we’ll be neighbors.” He kissed her shoulder, but as he pulled up, he snarled. “And who knows. I might just remember we have joint custody of our daughter.” He reached for her nipple, gripping it harshly as she cried out and clutched at the top of his hand. “Damn good deal when you think about it. Fuck me, I leave. Don’t, and you’ll be seeing a lot more of me.”

Her tears that had been welling up since his fingers dug into the sensitive skin of her breast spilled over then, and she tried to hold back the sob that was desperate to escape.

“I can’t.” She whispered it as the dread of what that meant started creeping in around her.

She’d been having sex with him for years. A pathetic game of his that kept his threats at bay and allowed her to live her life as a single parent when in truth she had no legal right to do so. She paid with her body for his absence from Harper’s life after a custody battle that had nearly ended badly for her. He was connected to too much money for her cheap ass attorney to fight, and five years before, he’d demonstrated that easily. She’d been alone, terrified, and faced with the very real possibility she might lose the only thing in the world she cared about to a man who’d never wanted her to begin with and didn’t want her even then, she’d made a decision—one she regretted every day. Stupid fucking girl.

Now, she was defying him again, and there was simply no way to know what would happen.

“You sure about that?”

Part of her thought she was crazy for not just giving in, but after years of being used by him for his own personal pleasure, she wasn’t sure she could do it. She didn’t have any right to make this decision based on Isaiah, the man who’d only hours before walked away from her drama. Isaiah didn’t deserve to have any part of the decision. Harper had always been the basis for this decision, but how long could Joss keep doing this to herself—buying herself a little more time without his interference in her life? It was a joke. He interfered when he chose to, and when he wasn’t, she was dreading the next time he would. It consumed her life, and she was tired.

Joss stared at herself in the mirror. Her face looked strangely calm, and it showed none of the whirling thoughts that were circling around in her mind. Todd remained behind her, waiting patiently with a taunting expression on his face. When his hand clasped her hip, pulling her back into his groin again, she shivered.

“I can’t.” She reaffirmed the decision, and as she spoke the words, her tears started to fall.

“Hmm…” He stepped back from her, tutting as he moved. “You know what I’m going to miss most of all?”

She didn’t bother responding.

“Your shame. I do enjoy that.” He started to turn away, but he turned back with his finger to his lip as though he were thinking about something important. “This isn’t over. You understand that, right?” He winked and walked from the room.

Joss sank to the floor, hanging onto the edge of the counter, and the moment she heard her front door close, she crumpled to the rug. It was settled. The only man she had wanted in longer than she could recall had given up on her thanks to her drama and perhaps a bit of his own. And she’d in turn given up being another man’s whore. There was very little sense to any of it. All she really knew was she simply couldn’t do it anymore. Isaiah had made her want more from her life, and while she had nothing to show for it, the want for
something
had taken root.

* * * *

After dropping Harper off at school the next morning, Joss bypassed the office. She had no appointments that day, and she had no interest in enduring Randall. Randall knew full well who Joss’s ex-husband was, and Joss had no doubt whatsoever he was enjoying not only making a commission off him but knowing Joss couldn’t be thrilled the man would be moving to a rather small island that made it virtually impossible not to come in contact with him.

Instead she drove to the coffee shop to get her morning dose of caffeine, called Steph and told her she’d be working out of pocket, and then drove to Isaiah’s house. The man had had her tied up in knots for months now, and she wasn’t going to walk away from him without saying something. And in usual form, Joss didn’t bother actually preparing what she was going to say until he was pulling the door open.

“I have something to say,” she blurted out.

He took a deep breath, but he remained emotionless as he watched her. “Fine. What?”

She opened her mouth and nothing came out. She tried clearing her throat, but the words still wouldn’t form—basically because she was just realizing she didn’t have a clue what she actually wanted those words to be.

“If you say
listen
, I’m going to spank you.” It might have been a joke, but his expression was humorless.

“Well—” This was getting bad. She was going to have to come up with something if she expected the man to keep the door open. “You owe me an apology.”

“Do I?” He crossed his arms on his chest and cocked his head to the side.

“Yes.”

“Come in.” He turned and walked back inside, and then he threw out over his shoulder, “If for no other reason than to tell me what exactly I should be apologizing for.”

She followed him into his kitchen, finding a maze of boxes. He poured himself a cup of coffee and stepped back to the edge of the counter. “I’m waiting.”

“You were rude.”

“I see. So, in your estimation, rude consists of a man leaving your home when it’s clear he’s not the only man who frequents it?”

“He showed up unannounced. You couldn’t possibly have missed that fact.” She was clearly finding her voice again.

“When was the last time you slept with him?”

“I didn’t have sex with him last night if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“That wasn’t my point nor my suggestion. Now, how about you answer the question.”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. A few months ago I guess.”

“And yet, you were divorced five years ago.”

Her eyes flitted away quickly. She wasn’t sure why she should feel embarrassed about having that pointed out to her, and even as the embarrassment heated her cheeks, she also found herself getting angry. He didn’t have the right to judge her.

“So, a few months ago, huh? About the time we met then I’m guessing. Is that right?”

She glanced at him, but her eyes were filling with tears. She nodded subtly as her mouth pursed to keep the tears at bay a moment longer.

“After we met?” His expression was gut wrenching.

She sniffed her nose, still fighting the break down. “The day we met.”

He shook his head in what she guessed was disgust. No man, including her dick of an ex-husband, had ever made her feel like more of a slut than Isaiah in that moment whether he intended to or not.

She shook her head, and before the tears could fall in front of him, she turned and walked away. This had been a mistake. Opening her mouth often was, but this had been colossal. She didn’t expect him to stop her, but he grabbed her elbow as she was reaching for the front door and she froze.