The Fine Line Book One Between Worlds Series (30 page)

“
Good-bye little one,” she
choked out. “I’m so sorry.”

Matt stood with his hand on the small of
Robin’s back. She trembled beneath his touch and gracefully stepped
aside allowing Matt to have his time for saying good-bye.

The funeral director walked over to them
offering more condolences. He prepared to close the lid. Matt and
Robin held one another tightly as they watched the darkness fall on
Bryan’s face like a cloak. Robin stood emotionless as her husband
shuddered beside her. Inside she felt like screaming and wanted to
stop the closing lid. Inevitably, the lid shut and the time to
honor Bryan’s short life came.

The pews filled with people. The family took
up the first two rows in the sanctuary. Matt held tightly to
Robin’s hand as he cradled hers in his lap. Richard stood and he
leaned down, kissing Robin’s forehead sweetly before walking to the
pulpit. He pulled a white handkerchief from his jacket pocket and
patted his wet cheeks. Inhaling deeply, he then let go of the air
in his lungs as he began the service.

“
Please, join me in
prayer.” He paused. Robin’s eyes didn’t close but stared straight
ahead.

“
Our loving Father in
Heaven, we come with heavy hearts today. We seek peace that only
you can give to us. We are confused, so help us, oh Lord, to find
understanding and healing in this shadowy time. Because we know
that your comfort for hurt runs deep. We ask this in Jesus name,
Amen.”

He sighed as he looked
down at Robin and Matt. Her eyes met his as the darkness exuding
from her broken spirit.

“
It’s
not easy to accept the death of a young person, especially a baby,”
he continued.
“We’ve all been
brought up to believe that when we’re young, we’re unbreakable. We
can do anything.

“
I heard
a saying once. When we lose our parents, we lose our past. When we
lose a spouse, we lose our present. When we lose a child, we lose
our future.

“
In the
gospel of James it says that we
do
not know what our life will be like tomorrow. We’re just a vapor
that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Our lives
here on earth are very short, but our life, however long it may be,
is of great value to God.

“
Everyone wants to live forever. That’s what God has put in
our hearts. Ecclesiastes says, ‘He has made everything beautiful in
its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they
cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.’ In this
time of sorrow, we can rejoice that in God’s word He teaches us
that life does not stop when physical life is cut short. In fact,
it’s just the beginning. My daughter, Robin, the mother of this
beautiful child, believes that this mortal body holds us captive;
that when we shake off the body, we are free. And today, we can
take heart in the fact that little Bryan is free and he is
rejoicing with the angels and our Heavenly
Father.”

Robin listened to the
words of her stepfather, but it seemed like a terrible nightmare.
The sounds and words echoed in her mind. Her brain drifted to what
might have been; first steps, first words, school parties,
graduation, marriage, grandchildren. Tears streamed down her
cheeks, but she sat as still as a sculpture.

Her blank eyes turned to
Matt. It felt like she could hear his thoughts. In his eyes,
questions overwhelmed him. She could see all of the overwhelming
questions dancing in his mind. She knew he wondered if she would
ever truly recover. The blaze in her heart had been extinguished by
the loss.

It surprised no one when Robin sank into a
deep depression after the loss of the child. She took an extended
leave of absence from work and isolated herself from her friends,
family, and most of all, from Matt. The majority of the time was
spent in bed. She contemplated her own death and how carefree it
might be. She rarely ate and even when Matt brought food to her,
she couldn’t finish anything on the plate.

Matt struggled himself. His anger outweighed
his sadness. His positive outlook at possibly trying for another
child diminished as his wife continued to isolate herself into her
own personal hell. He, too, felt that Bryan was stolen from them by
the darkness in the house. Bitterness sprung up within him. Yet,
when he looked at Robin all he felt was love. He empathized with
her, but because she had built a fortress around herself, he
couldn’t show her how much he understood.

Wendy came over at least every other day,
but Robin stayed in bed. Katie O’Bryan constantly brought food.
Others from the hospital tried to help in any way they could as did
agency employees.

The month of April arrived. Matt discovered
that he healed quicker than he expected. The optimism resurfaced
for having another child, but he was still sleeping on the futon in
the basement because Robin preferred to be alone in the bedroom at
night. The intimacy spiraled downward. He knew he was being shut
out.

****

The rain poured outside the window as Robin
lay in bed looking out at the dark spring sky. Her eyes were sore
from crying again. Again, she went the entire day without food.

Olivia sat on her floor meditating as she
listened to the rain hitting the roof. She felt an emotional nudge
and instantly knew what needed to be done. So, she stood, walked
into the master bedroom and sat down on the floor. She looked up at
her stepmother. Blankly, Robin glanced down at Olivia and then
looked back out at the gray sky.

She took Robin’s hand as it hung off the
side of the bed.

“
You taught me everything
that you could about helping people; about what happens when we die
and how we can help whoever is left behind. So, let me help you,”
she pleaded.

“
The spirit guide that is
supposed to be making you happy when you’re sad is really sucking
right now,” she blurted out.

For the first time in months, a smile found
its way to Robin’s lips.

“
I know you’re sad about
Bryan, but the guides tell me he is okay and that he is in the
light. That’s exactly where he’s supposed to be. I don’t have to
wonder if what you’ve taught me up ‘til now is true. I can feel it.
I see things all of the time where ever I go. I see them all
standing waiting for someone to help them understand, but I think
my job right now is to help
you
understand. My job right now
is to help you the same way you’ve always helped me.”

Tears brimmed in Robin’s lonely brown eyes
as she continued looking at Olivia.

“
You’re a very special
girl, Olly. Do you know that?”

“
I didn’t know how special
until you came into our lives. My dad loves you so much. I love
you. We just want you to be okay again. And you will be because
Baby Bryan is safe. He’s happy. Robin, he was an old soul.” She
spoke with such adult authority. “My guides tell me he has been on
Earth many times before. They tell me he was needed some place else
for now.”

“
But, I miss him,” she
said as her tears continued soaking the pillow.

“
You don’t have to miss
him because his spirit is always watching over you. That’s what
you’ve always taught me. I believe that’s true. He doesn’t want you
to be sad.”

Olivia saw it. The spark in Robin
returned.

“
You hear it don’t you?”
Olivia asked.

Truly, she did. The inner voice once again
spoke; faint at first, and then overpoweringly. Robin nodded.
Olivia touched Robin.

“
I speak peace to you,”
she said quietly.

Warmth from her touch filled Robin’s face
and peace swept over her as if someone had covered her with a
blanket. The warmth spread throughout her body and the tears in her
eyes dried. The power of the Creator surrounded both of them. A
divine healing occurred and Robin’s broken heart mended.

Robin let go of Olivia’s hand and sat up on
the side of the bed.

“
Do you feel that?” Olivia
asked. “It’s joy.”

“
Yes, Olly, I feel it. It
feels like I can reach out and touch it.”

She nodded. “Exactly.” She paused. “You need
to go talk to Daddy now. He is so worried about you.”

“
I will get a shower first
and then I’ll be down,” she replied.

Wrapping her arms around Robin’s neck,
Olivia sighed.

“
We’ve missed you.” She
stepped away from her and then walked out the door.

Robin stood in the shower amazed by the
miracle. Afterward, Robin dressed and walked downstairs. Matt sat
on the couch watching television. She sat down on the other end of
the sofa. He glanced over at her. Her wet hair dampened the fresh
white v-neck shirt she wore. Her pajama pants smelled of fresh
linen. She smiled.

“
Well there’s something
I’ve missed,” he said.

“
I’m sorry Matt,” she said
dropping her head.

“
About what?”

“
I’m so sorry that I’ve
been a zombie. The guilt was crippling, but I just know what
happened with Bryan wasn’t an accident. I’ve been really angry
about that. And your daughter, for the record, is an amazing little
person,” she said with a smile. He smiled back. “She helped me
realize that I needed to heal. And it’s a miracle. The peace I feel
is a miracle. Olly has a part in that.”

Matt scooted over to her and put his arm
around her, pulling her close. She felt the warmth of his body
against hers. What a wonderful feeling; a feeling she missed over
the last few months.

“
I want to stop what is
happening in this house,” she continued, “but in all honesty, I
don’t know if I even want to live here anymore.”

“
Losing Bryan was not your
fault,” he said as he kissed her damp hair. “I believed what you
said in the hospital when you told me you were pushed. It wouldn’t
surprise me at all.” Silence fell. “I’m with you. I don’t know if I
want to be here either. I want to put the house up for sale Robin.
I want out, too.”

“
Are you sure?” She looked
up at him. He nodded as she continued. “I’ve always been ready to
throw my hands up, but you… you’ve hung in there like a
champ.”

“
Yes, I’m
sure.”

She sat up waiting for further
explanation.

“
I’ve thought about it a
lot since we lost Bryan,” he said. “I don’t want to live like this
anymore. We’ve done everything we can. I can’t stand the torture
I’ve watched you endure. It’s been one thing after another, but
seeing you mourn yourself to death nearly killed me. It was
torturous.”

“
I don’t think we’ve done
everything we can yet.”

“
What do you mean?” he
asked.

“
I still have the number
to the Midwest Ghost Hunters. Why don’t you call them?”

“
Are you serious?” he
asked.

“
It’s the last thing we
can do.”

“
I guess you’re right.”
Matt conceded “If that doesn’t work, then we’ll sell the place.” He
paused. “But before we do anything, I want us to take a trip; we
need to get away for a while. I want to take you on that much
needed honeymoon. When we get back, then we’ll tackle this thing
head on.”

“
That’s fine. I’ll go
gladly,” she said with a grin. “As long as it’s warm and there are
beaches and ocean, I’m in.”

“
I’ll call the cruise line
and book it. I’ll see if the O’Bryan’s can keep Olivia,” Matt
concluded.

Small Worlds

The cruise fit perfectly into the month of
May for a number of reasons. Robin and Matt could celebrate the
month they met just as they had in previous years as well as
Robin’s birthday. The weather would be perfect near the islands,
too.

So much had happened since Robin first laid
eyes on Matt in the crowded, busy E.R. It seemed like a lifetime
ago. They had grown together in so many different ways, but because
of Bryan’s death, Matt and Robin hadn’t been close physically. They
both looked forward to regaining their closeness. Still, Robin felt
awkward and unsure.

Matt booked a five day cruise to the
Caribbean. Leaving from Miami, the first port of call would be
Grand Cayman. From there they would go to Cozumel where they would
stay two days. After an entire day at sea, they would arrive back
in Miami.

Robin didn’t plan any of the vacation
because Matt took over every detail. In Grand Cayman, he planned to
take Robin to Margaritaville. She would be able to shop and Seven
Mile Beach would definitely be on the agenda. Cozumel’s adventures
would consist of a hike to the Mayan Ruins on the coastline,
shopping, and then a day of relaxation on a private beach. When
they docked back in Miami, Matt would take Robin to the Miami
Seaquarium.