The Fire In My Eyes (40 page)

“We'd never have survived without Yamamoto's help,” Nikki said.

“I know,” Ripley said. “And I will be sending a diplomatic note to the Kaze, thanking them for the assistance of their agent in this case. Perhaps we will find this of use in the future, a thawing of our relations. I'll mention it as a mitigating circumstance to your trainers.”

“Good,” I said.

“Indeed. As for the mission itself, I am pleased with your performance. However, you did make one significant mistake,” he said. I tensed, but he shook his head. “Not the one you are thinking of, Mr. Parker. Neither of you actually destroyed the prototype device. Luckily, our recovery team recognized and acquired it before anyone else arrived.”

We both groaned. I hadn't thought about it, but I had been distracted. Ripley continued, “That, in addition to the research data, should provide us with sufficient data to create our own device of this nature, or to baffle similar devices.”

“What good is it, though?” I asked. “We can already detect psionic activity, so why would we need something artificial?”

“It would not be for our psionic agents, Mr. Parker. It would be for our mundane agents. The Establishment does have many people on the payroll who are latent or untalented in terms of psionics, yet very talented in other ways. For example, my secretary. If you ever speak with her, you will find that her memory is quick and accurate. She can likely remember the first time you walked into my office, to the hour, if not the minute.”

I frowned. “She's not one of us?”

Nikki's hand twitched in mine. Ripley raised an eyebrow. “She is, but she is not talented in the same way you are.”

“I see,” I said. “So these devices could allow people like her to sense psionic power? Like, she could have it sit at her desk and sense power in any student who passes by?”

“It is possible,” he said. “It depends on how sensitive the device is. If the research pans out, it is possible that we could use it to examine potential strength before awakening a student. Several times, we have assumed greater power than actually exists. While our less gifted agents are still useful, we need fully fledged trainees such as the two of you.”

“Could it also detect signs of psionic tampering?” Nikki asked. “If someone was making psionic suggestions to a normal person, would it detect things like that?”

Ripley spread his hands wide. “Your guess is as good as mine when it comes to such things, Miss Wainwright. I am not a technically minded man, and so I rely on the reports of our research and development section. They assure me that they will have a report for me within a week of receiving the data. Speaking of which?”

He held his hand out. Nikki reached into her pocket and handed over a flash drive. I didn't. I remembered the calculating look on his face, the way he threatened me from the beginning, the way Shade treated me with his tacit blessing, and the fact that Ripley was going to allow Shade to discipline me. I didn't trust Alistair Ripley or his Establishment, and so, I held on to my flash drive. Insurance.

Nikki was asking something while I was considering my options. “They were likely looking to use it for similar reasons,” Alistair said. “Recruiting, most likely. The Bureau is always expanding. Hence their intrusion into New York City.”

“Their intrusion?” I asked. The agent's words clicked. “They were stirring up the gangs down there, weren't they?”

“More than that. They were taking an active role,” Ripley said. “However, that has come to an end. Shade discovered their coordinating agent's location this morning and killed him. The gangs have already begun to splinter into their less unified factions once again.”

“Killed him?” I asked. “Shade killed him?”

Nikki's hand squeezed mine, then she stood up. “I'm sorry, President Ripley, but I think Kevin's in need of some down time,” she announced.

Ripley looked at her, both eyebrows raised. She stared back at him, then smiled, giving him full effect of her dimples. He sighed. “Very well. Remember, you are not to leave campus until further notice. Miss Wainwright, if you'd remain a minute, there is something I'd like to discuss something with you, privately.”

I started to protest, but Nikki squeezed my hand again before letting go. “It's fine. Wait in the other room, I'll be out in a minute.”

I walked out and took a seat. The secretary regarded me for a moment, probably memorizing the moment I sat down to wait. She worked late hours. I wondered why she would choose to be around so late. I wanted to ask, but conversation was beyond me. I sat in silence for close to ten minutes before the doors opened and Nikki marched out. She held her head high, but I could see her eyes were watery. She didn't say anything, simply grabbed my hand and led me out.

We walked back to Carson Hall hand in hand, far faster than we normally did. She had something on her mind and she was in a hurry to get to it. When we got back, instead of going to my room, she led me to her room. “Kaitlyn’s gone for the evening,” Nikki said, closing the door behind us.

“I didn't even ask,” I said.

“I could see the expression on your face,” she said. “You were so disappointed that my super sexy roommate wasn't here to ogle and leer at.”

“I guess I'll just ogle you instead,” I said.

She smiled at me and sat on her bed. “So, it's been a rough evening,” she said. I nodded. “I think we need to relax and get our minds off what happened.”

“Rough,” I said. I didn't know what to say. Was she dismissing what had happened, or was she trying to help me past it? “What did you have in mind? Watch a movie or some TV?”

She shook her head and laid back on the bed. “Not exactly.”

“So what is on your mind?” I watched her stretch luxuriously, then hold out her arms to me. “Well, that seems pretty obvious.”

“Come here,” she said.

I sat down on the edge of her bed, then laid down next to her. She put her arms around me, then pulled me close without saying a word. I closed my eyes and she kissed my forehead. Gray, unfocused eyes stared at me. I started to tremble again and she held me. Blood trickled from his nose and mouth, and she held me. His body laid there, peaceful and empty, but she held me. She held me all night.

Max and Drew offered no comment when I returned to our room before classes the following morning, but they did exchange a knowing look when they thought I couldn't see. It wasn't what they thought. I fell into bed and slept fitfully for a couple of hours, blowing off all of my classes for the day. I had no desire to face anyone aside from my friends.

Afternoon came and went without a summons from Shade or Absynthe. Nikki and I met for dinner, which was a procession of awkward moments. Neither of us mentioned the events of the previous night, neither the mission nor what happened afterwards. She asked if I had finally gotten some rest. I told her that I had. We didn't have much to say after that. When the call to meet our mentors on the rooftop finally came, it was a relief.

I didn't expect a medal. I expected Shade to be angry, to take great pleasure in disciplining me, to be brutal and vicious. I was ready for that. I wasn't ready for a sucker-punch as soon as I stepped out of the stairwell. The air whooshed out of my lungs and I keeled over. Nikki's gasp was cut off, but I couldn't see what he was doing to her. I rolled onto my back and I tried to arch my back and force air into my lungs.

Shade punted me in the side. I rolled halfway across the rooftop, still unable to breathe. “You son of a bitch,” he said, striding toward me, trench coat flapping in the evening breeze. “You stupid asshole.”

I projected a weak shield just to hold him at bay until I could catch my breath. “What the hell-”

He walked through the shield as if it was paper and kicked at me again. I grabbed his leg and heaved as hard as I could, trying to throw him off balance. He shook me off, then kicked me in the stomach. My lungs seized, and for a terrifying moment, I couldn't get any air at all. I curled into myself and gasped for air. I thought he would kick me again. He didn't.

Gradually, my breathing returned to normal. I sat up, holding my arms around my stomach. Shade was sitting several feet away, on the old concrete block that we had used early on in my training. Absynthe had Nikki by the arm, holding her back. Her expression was carefully neutral, but her eyes flickered green. A telepathic message flicked into my mind. “Don't make him any angrier.”

I used a touch of biokinesis to deaden the pain in my stomach so I could breathe fully again. When I could, I stood up and faced him. This was more vicious than I had expected. The bastard was out of control. “So this is your idea of discipline?”

He stood up as well. “You defied Alistair's direct orders. You killed a Bureau agent.”

“You killed one of their agents too, I heard,” I said. “Are you going to give me a speech that says 'do as I say, not as I do', or was there something else on your mind?”

His hands clenched. I didn't even sense his power building until he hit me with it. I staggered backwards. This time he had just slammed a telekinetic fist into my chest, which hurt, but didn't have the same effect as the earlier cheap shots. I didn't dare try to shield against him. If I did, he would just escalate. “You think you're so smart,” he said. “But for all the training we've given you, you've got no more self-control than when we started.”

“Is that what you're angry about?” I asked. “I've been more in control of my power than ever before because of your training.”

His eyes were blazing green, and as I spoke, they grew even brighter. “Don't mock me, Parker,” he said. “Don't mock me. Not tonight.”

“I'm not! I'm serious!” I spread my hands wide. “Look, I don't know what exactly you're referring to. If it's not control over my powers, tell me what you're going off about!”

He flicked a finger at me. A pencil-thin line of green energy flashed through the space between my right shoulder and ear, close enough that I felt the warmth. “Self-control. Not control over your powers,” he said.

I slapped my forehead. “So this is one of those speeches. Do as you say, control myself, but don't do as you do, beat the shit out of me for not having self-control. That makes perfect sense.”

He stepped toward me. The rooftop cracked under his boot. “You're over the line.”

“I'm over the line?” I took a step toward him as well. “Look who's talking! You think that beating the shit out of me is going to teach me self-control? Is this the sort of discipline that you and Ripley think will work? What's wrong with you? Are you really that stupid?”

The world spun. One moment, I was shouting at him, and the next, I was staring at the sky. With my next breath, I discovered that my nose was broken, my mouth was bloody, my teeth were chipped and shattered, and I was in a hell of a lot of pain. Blood trickled across my cheek as I turned my head to the side. Absynthe and Nikki were grabbed each other’s arms, and both of them had brilliantly glowing green eyes. I could sense their conflict. Nikki wanted to help. Absynthe was holding her back. I assumed it was to keep Nikki from becoming a target for Shade's wrath, but why wouldn't Absynthe help me? Was she afraid of him too?

Shade hadn't followed up. When I sat up, I saw that he was sitting on the concrete block again. “You may be right,” he said. “But you're a special case. Second chance after second chance. Special treatment. Alistair would have ripped anyone else a new one, but not you. I don't get it. But, someday, you're going to run out of chances. You need the cocky bullshit beaten out of you before it's too late. Understand me?”

“I've learned plenty.” My words sounded strange, coming through the mess that he had made of my face. “Plenty of things.”

“Learned, maybe. You've never actually understood.” Shade snorted. “Look at you. You've learned what to do to piss me off. You've never understood why you do, or even why you do it. You just keep doing it. Pushing buttons like a fucking monkey. One of these days it's going to cost you.”

“Then why don't you just tell me?” I turned my head and spat a chip of a tooth out. “Why are you so pissed off? Is it because I killed one of those agents?”

“No,” he said.

I waited, but he didn't say anything else. “No? That's all? I didn't even try to kill him, even though they were trying to kill us! Doesn't that say something?”

“Yes,” he said.

“I'm getting tired of your one word answers,” I said.

He laughed at me. “Are you going to do something about it? In the shape you're in? I'd like to see you try.”

I spat again, leaving a red splotch on the rooftop. “If you want me to understand, why don't you actually explain it? Or are you just looking for an excuse to hit me some more?”

“Do you really think I need an excuse to hit you?” He laughed again, then tossed my legs out from under me. I caught myself as I fell, then he flipped me around until I was so dizzy, I couldn't see which way was up. He dropped me on my face. My teeth crunched again and the pain sharpened enough to force a scream out of me. He let go and I rolled onto my side, clutching at my mouth. Blood was all I could taste, all I could smell.

“Stop it!” Nikki screamed across the rooftop.

He ignored her and walked over to me. “You really want to try and understand this time, don't you?” he asked. “You're afraid that I'll keep hurting you, aren't you? It's the most effective way I've found of teaching these lessons, Parker. The lesson sticks with you for a very long time. You're a mess. That pretty face of yours is all bloody and broken. Your girlfriend over there, she's dying to run over and help you. But you know what? I'm not going to let her until I'm done with this lesson. Understand me?”

“Fuck you,” I mumbled.

He tilted his head and clicked his tongue. “I guess I'm still not getting through.” His eyes flashed green and he forced my mouth open, then grabbed hold of one of my teeth with his bare hand. “Rotten,” he said. “Broken. Let me take care of that for you.”

He yanked. I screamed. My vision turned red and faded to black. When I could see again, he was holding a bloody tooth in his hand. He rolled it between his fingers, then flicked it away. I could hear Nikki crying. Liquid pain was coursing through my veins, agony with every heartbeat. I couldn't concentrate at all, certainly not enough to dull the pain any more than it already was. If this was already dulled, I couldn't even imagine the pain I would feel when the biokinesis wore off. I wanted to get up and smash Shade into the ground. I wanted to kill him.