The Firefighter's Girl (3 page)

She cleared her throat and stood. “Let’s have a look at your leg. Just take it easy and don’t put too much weight on it. It’s too soon and I’d hate to see you cause permanent damage that we are unable to fix.”

* * *

Rebecca was once again the last to leave the office. There were two other physical therapists who worked in this branch, but she often found herself to be the one locking up. She didn’t mind working late. And tonight, she preferred it to going home.

She locked the door and buttoned up her coat as she headed out to her car. She was dreading going home tonight actually. Andy and Shannon would be there and they were going to have to spend four nights at their tiny apartment before theirs would be ready.

She fiddled with the radio in the car while driving, not really listening to anything in particular. When she got to her apartment building twenty minutes later, she already saw Andy’s decrepit truck with its out of state Arizona license plate. Well, maybe Colorado would be too cold for them and they would move back.

She parked as far from the truck as possible and forced herself to walk up the stairs to her third floor apartment.

“There she is,” Andy said as soon as she walked inside.

Rebecca’s skin crawled and she tried to paste a smile on her face and meet his eyes, except that his were concentrated at the center of her chest. She pretended to adjust her purse and folded her arms across her chest.

“How’s my favorite soon to be sister-in-law?” he asked, coming in for a hug she could not escape.

“Sister-in-law?” she barely managed. “Where did that come from?” She held her breath against the stench of stale cigarette smoke and tried to turn her face away from his greasy hair. His hands roamed just a little lower than acceptable and she pushed away, still trying to remain polite.

“Let her go, Andy, you don’t want to get her clothes dirty.” It was Shannon. She just came out of the bathroom and planted herself on the couch, staring at them, the look in her eyes telling Rebecca exactly what she thought of her.

Andy pulled back, making a sound as he now openly scanned her from head to toe and back.

“Where’s Jeff?” Rebecca asked, putting more distance between them.

“He’s getting the pizza,” Shannon said, picking up a magazine and putting her feet up on the coffee table. “It’s fuckin’ cold in here.”

“It’s February in Colorado. Winter,” Rebecca said.

Shannon glanced at her. “Turn the heat up or something, Christ, I’m freezing.”

Rebecca ignored her and took off her coat. She hung it up and walked into the living room. That’s when she saw the big flat screen TV still in its box sitting on the dining room table. “What’s that?” she asked.

Shannon grinned while Andy helped himself to a can of beer.

“Our housewarming gift from Jeff. Isn’t that sweet?”

“What?” she asked.

Just then the door opened and Jeff walked in carrying three large pizzas. “Dinner!”

“Jeff…” Rebecca began. He had no money, which meant he had used her credit card to buy the TV and dinner and who knew what else. “You bought a TV?”

His smile was gone, replaced by what she could only describe as disgust. For some reason, that look cut her still.

“Don’t be such a fucking buzz-kill, Bec. They need a TV.”

“We can’t afford that, Jeff. You’re not working.”

He grabbed hold of her arm and came right up to stand inches from her face, the aggression in his stance frightening. “It’s a gift. From us. You make enough money, don’t be so uptight.”

She shook her head, tears of frustration threatening as her stomach tensed, leaving her unable to speak. She was behind on student loans and the way he spent money, they barely made ends meet as it was.

He snorted and let her go, smiling when he turned to Andy and Shannon. “Let’s eat,” he said.

“I’m going to have a shower and go to bed,” Rebecca said.

“Night,” Shannon called out.

Rebecca barely managed to get into their bedroom and close the door before the tears began. Standing with her back against the door, she rubbed her hands over her face and tried to contain any sound. She locked the door and went into the bathroom to have a shower, wondering all the while what she was doing with someone like Jeff. He didn’t love her, he was using her. No matter how much she tried to deny it, no matter how many excuses she found to make herself believe otherwise, she knew in her heart that he was using her. It wasn’t even that he didn’t love her really. It was scarier than that. It was as though he resented her.

The stream of hot water felt good and she turned her face up to it.

What about what she felt for him? She didn’t love him either, she knew that.

Her mind wandered to Sawyer and how he had looked this afternoon when Jeff had stormed out of the office, humiliating her. How he had given the three gossips at the reception desk a look that put them in their place before taking her back to her office.

Her feelings for Sawyer confused her, scared her a little even. On those few occasions that she allowed herself to fantasize about what it would be like to be with him again, the feeling she’d come away with was that she would feel safe. Protected. Cared for, even. Her affection for him was different than anything she had felt for any other person and since seeing him again three months ago, it seemed as though the ten years between them simply hadn’t happened. If anything, she was more intensely drawn to him now than ever.

She groaned, shaking her head and rubbing her face. She should not want this. This was exactly what had made her run. Sawyer liked to be in control and she couldn’t give that up again. Leaving him the last time had taken everything she had.

Chapter Three

For the next few weeks, Rebecca felt like she was just going through the motions. Andy and Shannon had moved out into their own apartment on the ground floor of the same building. Ever since then, Jeff had been spending more time down there than at their own place. Her feelings about that made Rebecca uncomfortable. She didn’t miss him the nights he slept at Andy’s and whole days seemed to go by when she wouldn’t see him. But he would always turn up when he needed cash.

She was worried about more than that though. Twice she’d had to go down to Andy’s apartment and both times, she had seen people in there she just had a strange feeling about. They were a lot like Andy and Shannon actually and Jeff seemed to be spending his days sitting on the couch in front of that new flat screen more and more. The last time she had gone down there was to give him some clippings from the paper that might have potential for work, and he had snapped at her. He did that more easily now and when he had come up the last time to make it up to her, his eyes had looked strange and she had asked him if he was stoned. He’d gotten so angry with her that she had become frightened of what he might do.

“What are you thinking? You’re worlds away,” Sawyer said. This was his second to last appointment and in a way, she felt sad about it.

She met his eyes and smiled. The way he looked at her, a mix of protectiveness along with something more feral and base, made her belly quake and other parts of her react in their own way. It was as if he always already knew what she was thinking, knew there was more to say but was waiting for her to say it.

“Nothing,” she began. “I’m sorry, just thinking I guess.”

“Thinking about what? You’ve been very distant the last couple of weeks.”

She hesitated. She hadn’t talked about what was going on with anyone. She didn’t have anyone to talk about it with; no siblings to speak of and she had cut all ties with her mother years ago. Her father had left when she was barely a year old and she didn’t remember him at all. Amelia was gone and she was alone.

Amelia had been diagnosed with breast cancer when Rebecca was seventeen. It was her second bout with the deadly disease and she ended up needing Rebecca to help her at home more and more those last months. That time was so painful and the memory still so fresh. The only blessing was that Sawyer had come home in the end too.

“Rebecca?” he asked.

She smiled. “I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”

He checked his watch. “My session’s about over and I’m thinking to grab a bite to eat next door. Let me buy you dinner,” he said.

She looked at him.

“Come on, don’t make me eat alone.”

She smiled. “Ok, just let me get my things together. Do you mind if I meet you there? Don’t want to give the girls at the desk anything new to gossip about.”

“Sure. I’ll get us a table.”

* * *

Sawyer was sitting at a booth in the back when she walked in. His gaze swept her body from head to toe and he didn’t miss the others who turned in her direction. He stood and caught her eye. She smiled. She was wearing an A-line dark pink skirt with high-heeled boots and a close-fitting black sweater. She had let her hair out of its bun and it hung in a thick golden brown mass down just past her shoulders.

“Hey,” she said. “I had a quick call after you left so it took a little longer.”

“It’s fine, sit down. Where’s your coat?” he asked.

She slid into the booth and looked down at herself as if just realizing she didn’t have it on. “I must have forgotten it in my office,” she said. “It’s ok, I’ll pick it up after dinner.”

The waitress came and she ordered a Coke then opened her menu. He opened his and studied her while she decided. She had put on makeup before dinner. That was a good sign. He noticed how her lips shone with a fresh layer of gloss as well as the dark eyeliner that now accentuated her pretty eyes that always reminded him of a desert, pale and pretty, a sparkling gold that conveyed her innocence, and, when she didn’t shield it, her insecurity. There was always a gentle expression in their depths, a thing that made Sawyer want to protect her innocence against a world too hard and too cold for her.

He cleared his throat when she looked up to catch him staring at her, the delicate skin of her neck and face flushing red at his scrutiny. She then turned her gaze back to the menu.

“You two ready to order?” the waitress asked, setting her Coke in front of her.

He looked at her and she nodded. “I’ll have the pasta with pesto, please.”

Sawyer ordered a burger and the waitress took their menus and left them alone. They stared at each other for a few moments and Sawyer wondered if the hue of pink on her face was going to be permanent tonight.

“So,” he began, the memory of what had happened just a few weeks ago still bothering him. “How’s Jeff doing with work? Any luck the last few weeks?”

Tonight he was going to push her. He was tired of taking it slow and with his appointments almost at an end, time was running out.

She couldn’t quite look at him and the line of her mouth showed her anxiety. She shook her head. “No, nothing.”

He searched her eyes, forcing her to hold his gaze. “Nothing? Market’s pretty decent, what does he do again?”

“Well, at the moment, he sits at his brother’s apartment and watches TV on the new flat screen that apparently I bought them for a housewarming present! What they’re doing down there, I don’t even want to think about.”

She said it fast, as if she was pissed off, but right after she said it, she turned away, searching for something in her purse, retrieving a tissue. Sawyer took in a deep breath. He’d had enough, someone needed to talk some sense into her. But first, another question.

“His brother? I thought he lived in Arizona. And what do you mean with
what they’re doing down there
?” he asked. His suspicions were usually right on.

“Ugh! I’m sorry, Sawyer. This is not your problem.” She reached out to adjust the position of the fork in front of her.

He took the opportunity to put his hand over hers. “Rebecca,” he said.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide, almost desperate, like a neglected child’s eyes. He saw the difference in age between them then. It was ten years, but at this moment, it seemed infinite. He knew her well enough by now to know that what she needed was someone to help her make the decision to leave Jeff rather than leaving it up to her.

“I’m your friend,” he began. “More than that. We have a history and I can’t stand back and watch while you let this jerk destroy your life. I’ve been noticing things the last few weeks. You’ve changed, something’s going on. I can see it.”

“I’m sorry, I hope it hasn’t affected my work with you! I never meant for that to happen.”

He shook his head and squeezed her hand. “No, not at all. I don’t think I’d be as far along as I am with the recovery if it weren’t for you.”

She exhaled, relaxing a little. Her fragility struck him. She was an excellent therapist, thorough, passionate about her work and just a warm, caring person. Yet here she was, completely insecure, automatically assuming guilt that didn’t belong to her.

“Tell me about his brother.”

The waitress came and he let her hand go. She set their plates in front of them. They waited until she left before speaking again. Rebecca picked up her knife and fork, hesitating.

“Tell me,” he pushed.

“Andy and Shannon moved into our apartment building a few weeks ago,” she said. “Jeff took my credit card that day he was in the office, when you… saved me.” She pushed some food around her plate. “He bought that TV for them and some other stuff.”

“Do you need money?” he asked.

She looked at him, her expression embarrassed, and shook her head. “No, I can… That’s ok. I will cover it. It’s something else. It’s… He’s been spending more and more time down there and no one is working so I’m not sure how they plan on paying the rent, and the other night…” She shook her head again. “It’s nothing. I’m making something out of nothing.”

“The other night what?” he pushed.

She exhaled and met his gaze. “I went down there to give Jeff some newspaper clippings for jobs and there were some people in there who just… they looked like… ok, that part doesn’t matter. Jeff looked stoned. His face, his eyes… the way he yelled at me scared me.” She crumpled the tissue in her hands. “I’m worried he’s back on drugs and I’m worried they might be dealing from there.”