The First One's Free (7 page)

“May I?” asked the Dimaj, eyeing the water
now.

“Please,” said Pope, pushing off the end of
the pool and back toward Best.

The Dimaj stood, threw off his robe, and, to
Best’s horror, revealed himself to be completely nude underneath.
Best remained where he was, standing back from the water’s edge,
arms folded. The Dimaj plunged in and began treading water.

“Mr. Luxhomme is somewhat responsible for our
people getting a new homeland,” said the Dimaj.

“His people,” said Best. “The rest of us are
glad to be rid of them.”

“Maybe your people can come up with a name
for your homeworld that isn’t leftover from an old stellar
catalog,” said Pope, now idly floating around the pool on his back,
much to Best’s chagrin.

“It’s worked for us for three centuries,”
said Best. “Anyway, you said this Luxhomme is from Metis. Does he
live there? Or here on The Caliphate?”

Pope gave what sounded like a practiced
chuckle. “Oh, he seldom comes to The Caliphate. Only long enough to
meet with management and have his review. Seems a former Vizir’s
daughter took a shine to our Mr. Luxhomme and found herself… How
shall I put this…?”

“Luxhomme knocked her up?” said the Dimaj,
now also on his back, which made Best squirm even more.

“So the former Vizir believes. As modern as
the culture here is, there are certain things devout Muslims still
won’t do.” Pope sank to an upright position and began treading
water, much to Best’s relief. “Which makes booze here expensive as
hell.”

“
Mister
Pope,” said Best. “I am trying
to locate seven weapons of mass destruction that Luxhomme arranged
to have removed from one of our new colonies.”

“Is that the one your people named
‘Marilyn’?”

“The same,” said the Dimaj, his reaction to
the mention of the name making Best turn away from the pool.

“Luxhomme contracted with a company called
Dasarius Interstellar to move the weapons,” said Best. “The ship
never arrived at any naval facility.”

“And how do you know that, Mr. Best?” asked
Pope.

Best made a conscious effort to study the
patterns in the painted cinder block walls he now faced. “Because
the Navy and Compact Security told me.”

“And how do they know?” said Pope. “Look, we
don’t live in the Blue Water Age anymore. All communication is
through hypergates. All transportation is via hypergate. When the
Secretary General of the Compact was assassinated ten years ago,
some worlds didn’t even know about it for six months. How do you
know the Dasarius ship didn’t dock at some secluded place that
seldom communicates with the rest of the Compact?”

“Because even Dasarius doesn’t know where
their ship is.” Best turned around to face Pope now, tired of the
CEO’s nude gymnastics in the pool and desperate for the interview
to end. “Look, I am a minister of a full-fledged constituent
authority within the Compact. I and my bizarre little friend
here…”

“Well,” said the Dimaj, still on his back and
kicking his way across the pool, “not ‘little.’”

“…need to find Luxhomme, or the Navy will
shut down the colony on Marilyn, and his people will have to come
back to Jefivah where they’ll face the same cultural isolation
they’ve experienced since the founding of their religion.”

“And this is my concern because…?”

“Marilyn has a series of moisture farms,”
said Best, “built by the Jefivan government to water desert farms
there, farms currently growing several varieties of potatoes
supplied by JunoCorp. Jefivah has also contracted to buy customized
grain for Marilyn, Gallifrey, and Barataria from Juno.”

“I see.” The CEO tread water silently, his
focus somewhere other than on Best.

“And,” the Dimaj added, “may I remind you
that Jefivah has the option of contracting with another crop
customizer, maybe one based on Earth or Tian that’s signed the GMO
Ethics Pact of 2048?”

“Those contracts are worth trillions,” said
Best. “And as agricultural minister, I’ll see to it that those
three colonies don’t have to wait six months to be kept in the
loop. We’ll borrow the money and resources to upgrade their
hypergate networks.”

Pope began backstroking away from Best. “I
suppose you’ll also expect us to answer for Barsoom going
silent.”

“Barsoom?” asked Best.

“A Martian colony,” said the Dimaj. “Mars
invested an enormous amount of resources into terraforming it. It
went silent a couple of weeks ago. Did you not hear about this,
Douglas?”

“I was busy,” said Best. “Trying to keep your
colony from getting shut down.”

The Dimaj grunted and went back to splashing
away in his corner of the pool.

“The fact is no one knows why it went
silent,” said Pope, treading water once more. “In fact, Compact
Security asked us what we knew.”

“And what do you know?” asked Best.

“We know that every probe sent to that star
system has also gone silent. No hyperdrones, no return flights.
Someone clearly does not want us to find out what happened.”

“Have you asked Luxhomme?”

“I was hoping the two of you could. He’s been
out of contact since leaving for Laputan space.”

Best shoved his hands in his pocket. “So he’s
your problem, too.”

“Very much so.” He swam up to the edge of the
pool and shouted, “Sarai.”

A modestly dressed woman in traditional
Muslim garb emerged from an opening Best had not seen when he
entered the pool room. Despite the chador and full body dress that
exposed only her face and hands, she seemed oblivious to Pope’s
nudity. “Sir?”

“Please get Mr. Best and his friend
everything in Luxhomme’s personnel file.”

“Thank you,” said Best.

“And arrange for better lodging in the
Secular Quarter. It won’t do for a minister or a religious leader
to stay in a roach motel.”

10

“They had a hypergate,” said the captain of
the vessel, an older woman named Berraa. “But the lead ships
destroyed it. We’re working on the orbital station now.”

Tishla caught Kai’s eye and shook her head.
She would not discuss what it was that bothered her in front of
Berraa or her crew, but Kai knew it would be bad. “And on the
surface?”

“By taking out the hypergate, we’ve cut off
their communication with the other Tianese worlds,” said Berraa.
“Once the orbital station is destroyed, the surface will be ours
for the taking.”

Kai watched as the blue-green sphere grew on
the wall-sized screen. It looked much like the world where Kai and
Tishla had been raised. He turned to her. “How’s it feel knowing
you’ll be queen here?”

“More like princess consort, Sire.”

The word “Sire” drew dirty looks from various
crewmembers. Kai only smiled. Turning back to Berraa, he said,
“Have you and your crew staked their claims yet?”

“We prefer to wait until…” Berraa stopped
when the wall screen flared white. On the surface, a tiny sun
erupted along the coast of the continent where Marq’s rogue colony
lay. “Sire, that’s the main settlement.”

“Captain,” a crewmember shouted, “laser
fusion device has detonated in the colony’s main settlement.”

“I did not authorize the use of fusion
weapons,” said Kai. “I did not know we had any. Captain, contact
the lead cruiser. Ask them if General Laral author-“

“This is General Laral,” said a familiar
voice over the command center speakers. “Governor Kai, did you
procure a fusion device I did not know about?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” said
Kai. “I was prepared to give the order to seize that
settlement.”

Tishla walked over to Kai and whispered, “Ask
him about Marq.”

“General,” said Kai, “did our friend mention
anything about fusion weapons? I thought these rogue colonies
weren’t supposed to have them.”

“We had no intelligence to indicate any were
here,” said Laral, “but whether by accident or design, this
colony’s last defensive capabilities were just vaporized.”

“Begin the invasion,” said Kai. “Let’s seize
the land while the survivors are confused.” He motioned to have the
signal cut. To Berraa, he said, “If that’s laser fusion, that means
the blast site won’t be hot when the fireball dissipates. As soon
as it clears, I want to visit the site.”

“Sire,” said Berraa, “there will be nothing
but death and ruin there.”

“If the Governor wishes to see death and
ruin,” said Tishla, “then take him to see it.”

Berraa met Kai’s gaze with a look that said,
She’s no concubine, is she?

Kai gave her a look back that brooked no
discussion on the matter.

*****

“You were absolutely no help back there,”
said Best as they rode the elevator to their suite at the Hilton in
Rashidun’s Secular Quarter. “You seemed more fascinated by the pool
than concerned with finding Luxhomme.”

The Dimaj wore that maddening expression of
serenity still. “You had things well in hand. You are a minister,
after all.”

“A minister suspended from his post. I could
have done just as well coming here by myself and presenting my
credentials to the Vizir’s office. I might not have had to take in
Walter Pope in all his rejuvenated glory.”

“Why don’t we have many rejuvenation clinics
on Jefivah, Douglas? It seems to me my people would be the first in
line.”

“Your people usually protest anything modern.
And yet the woman you worship as a goddess would probably have
loved the idea.”

“We must preserve our faith, Douglas. You’re
a proph-”

The elevator doors parted to reveal a couple
waiting with two small children just as Best shouted “
I am not a
prophet
.” He looked out at the family now staring bewildered at
him and the strange robed figure next to him. “Sorry. Trying to
settle a bet.”

“I do not gamble,” said the Dimaj.

“We’ll take the next one,” said the mother.
The doors snapped shut.

As the lift began moving again, the Dimaj
said, “Speaking of presenting my credentials, this world’s Grand
Normaj lives near here. I must present my own. Care to join
me?”

“You’re kidding,” said Best. “Right?”

“Hardly. I’m sure she would enjoy welcoming
our newest prophet.”

“I’m not a prophet.”

“Too bad. You look like you could use some
time with a Normaj, even a high-ranking one such as my friend.” A
thought seemed to strike the Dimaj. “You don’t prefer men, do you?
I mean, you have a wife back on Jefivah.”

When the doors opened again, Best said, “I’m
going to settle into our suite, pour myself a stiff drink, and get
some dinner. Alone. You go have fun with your Lord High Whore or
whatever she’s called.”

As the Dimaj glided off the elevator, he
said, “Your loss. See you after dinner.”

*****

The incursion capsules plowed into the earth
as the ships provided by Laral fired them at the remaining farms.
As predicted, the conscripted troops found a small population of
confused colonists. Laral’s battle wagons, powered by oil-fueled
engines that made a tremendous racket, chased them off their farms,
the heat weapons mounted on the backs of the wagons exterminating a
vast number of them.

Kai had no interest in any of it. It was a
fairly new colony with only one large settlement. A day after the
invasion, he stood in the charred remains. Rain had come through
overnight and brought most of the fallout back to the ground. In
some ways, Kai was disappointed. He had, after all, wanted to trade
a rainy world for a drier one. However,
some
rain had to
fall, or this planet would not have tempted Tianese renegades to
violate their Compact.

The blackened rubble still smoldered despite
the rain. While Kai and Tishla did not need radiation suits,
Captain Berraa insisted they take breathing gear just the same.
Even the previous night’s rain could not have purged all the soot
and dust from the air.

“Did we do this?” asked Tishla, her voice
slightly muffled behind the breathing mask. “I thought Ninth
Charter forbade the use of such weapons against civilians.”

“Our civilians,” said Kai. “These were aliens
illegally squatting on this planet.”

“Kai? Can I ask you something?”

“What’s that?”

“If that other world has an entire city on
it, complete with factories, how can it be a rogue colony?”

“Maybe the Compact doesn’t know it
exists.”

“Marq does. And he’s Tianese.”

Kai wandered into an intersection blasted
flat by the fusion weapon. Ahead, with all the buildings knocked
over, he could see that the center of town had become a sheet of
blackened glass. His foot hit something as he walked through the
intersection. Looking down, he could see it was a Tianese skull. It
could just as easily have been one of Kai’s own people.

The resemblance made him shake.

*****

The food was actually quite good and
convinced Best he might not be wasting his time after all. He even
helped himself to a second glass of the local wine, surprised that
they even made wine on the predominantly Muslim world. The server,
a human rather than one of those short, wheeled contraptions that
infested all the restaurants on Jefivah, explained that not
everyone on The Caliphate was a Muslim. In fact, Islam was viewed
as a mostly urban religion here.

“We’re not some backward factionalized place
like Jefivah,” she said. “Where did you say you were from,
sir?”

Best had not said but mumbled, “Mars.”

That made the server grin. “That is so cool.
I always wanted to visit that place. Tell me, is it true there’s
enough breathable air now to go outside without a tank?”

He did not know. Hell, he knew even less
about Mars than he did Earth. Most people knew nothing about their
ancestral homeworlds. Earth and Mars were no longer relevant. Well,
neither was Jefivah, but most people ignored humanity’s first
interstellar outpost anyway. “Not when I left. Anyway, it’s still
too cold to breathe outside without searing your lungs. We’re
getting there.”