The First Touch (17 page)

Grayton
backed off but watched them
carefully;
giving his friend a look which assured him that he would happily take his place if he failed her
. Autumn on the other hand swatted at Ivan violently and moved away
,
searching frantically for something in the rubble. She glanced back at the fire place briefly
,
and then went back to the search
,
with
more furry
. Ivan finally snapped causing Serena to hiss at him, “What are you looking for?” Autumn looked up at him her face red from crying and opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself and turned back to her task at hand
instead
. He said then a
little more gently
, “
If you tell me what you are searching for I can probably help you find it.”

She swatted the air again
, angrily
, “Go away you’ve already done enough damage.”

Ivan snapped reactively again, “If you are lookin
g for the books that Grayton rea
d to you, and then they have all been destroyed.”

She snapped back, “What?
Grayton’s books?
No, I don’t care about that! I am looking for a small red book. It’s about this big
,”
she made a gesture with her hands to demonstrate its size, “Help me look for it.” She continue
d searching now with blind rage
ripping through the piles. All four of them were on their knees instantly then
,
searching for the lost book.

Then she stopped suddenly
,
and said to herself, “I can’t remember if I left it in my room.” Then she cursed and c
ontinued searching
,
muttering,
“It is the only thing I have left of her.” Ivan
was completely taken aback,
along with everyone else in the room
realizing that there was something more the matter than just a book
.

Ivan asked
again, “What?”

She cut him off and said, “I had it out a couple of days ago. I can’t remember if I put it on the shelves in my room.” Autumn cursed again as she picked up a red book
,
and after realizing that it was not the right one
, she
threw it across the room, snapping, “Ivan if you burnt it I swear....”

Serena interrupted gently, “It was an accident
Autumn
.
”

She hissed back, “Well what was the big freaking rush? Why did you have to destroy them right now? I could have told you which books had notes about Grayton.” She gestured to Grayton when she said that
,
and he froze in mid search, “You did not have to destroy them all. I worked hard to build my collection.” Then she looked up and saw that the drawers that held her notes were not open and noticed that none were in the piles that she had searched though so far. “And why didn’t you rip up my notes as well? I have way more information about you all in those?”

Serena asked sounding alarmed then, “You kept notes?”

Autumn stopped momentarily and replied, “Well yes, I have been hearing voices for the last two years. I began writing them down to prove to myself that I wasn’t crazy!” Then she added gesturing to Grayton again, “That and listening to G
rayton reading at night, they were
the only thing
s
that kept me from heading to the loony bin.” Serena blinked and then looked at Ivan
frightened
. Autumn continued
,
while her hands began sorting though the shredded papers again, “I also have a dream journal of all of my dreams and visions. That’s under my pillow, if you need that as well.”

Serena asked then
,
cautiously
, “
Where are the files exactly?”

She pointed to her room
, “All of the drawers in there are full of them.” Serena began to wal
k slowly towards the room and
Autum
n
added, “There are also
files under the bed. I tried to stay as organized, as much as possible, so that I could refer back to them when I needed to.” Serena nodded and walked a little fa
s
ter this time as she continued,
“Oh and under the bed on the left are stored chronologically, the ones on the right are filed by names as best as I could.”

Grayton dropped the pile in his hand and headed for the room as we
ll unable to hide his curiosity
any longer
. Ivan ignored them and continued searching with
Autumn
for the lost book, had she looked at him she would have seen his look of distress. Suddenly
,
she stopped in her tracks and said to herself, “Wait, I was reading that night.” Then she
turned and ran to the reading area and began to pull the pillows from the couch. She looked with the same tenacity that she had previously
,
with the shredded books.

She cursed as she pulled the last pillow off and there was nothing there. Then she dropped to her knees and lift
ed the front of the couch, tipping it over, and it landed with
a
heavy
thud
,
as she
finally found it.
She sighed loudly and held it to her chest smiling brightly
,
tears streaming down her cheeks. She wiped he
r eyes then trying to regain her composure, as she stood up suddenly.
“
I am going to take a quick shower, before we head to Sophia’s.”

Just as she
reached the bathroom door she looked back at Ivan and asked him with new dept
h in her voice, “Can you clean
t
he mess
up please?” Ivan nodded his head yes
,
his eyes sorrowful. She turned without another
word and closed the bathroom door
tightly
. She showered for a long time trying to relax her stiff a
ching muscles, and calm down, finally turning
of
f the water and drying
slowly.

A minute later, outside, the entire space was
cleared of all traces, save the empty shelves.
While her companions moved on to read the files that pertained the most to them and theirs.
She
dressed again
, wishing
that they had not seen her upset. She did not want them to ask about the book or why it was so important to her. Most importantly she did
not want Ivan to ask. She did no
t thin
k that her mind could handle that
connection
just yet. T
he two most important things in her life
now, a cherished memory from her past, and a possible future, just outside the door, too close for comfort.

He was so close to deat
h that she could taste it now.
Why couldn’t he? He was so ....so what...perfect.
No he was being
difficult,
a flaw
that would
undermine
him if he was not careful.
That was what she needed;
a flaw
, then may
be she could go forward with this
kiss
that he wanted
. She was more nervous than she thought possible, just thinking about it now. His skin was so soft and he smelled so good. Better than any man had ever smelled before, even
her body knew he was perfect.
God, w
hy else would it be trying to change bef
ore she even reached
the dance?

Maybe she should just surprise him
,
so that he wouldn’t be expecting it. Then he could be safe, her mind recoiled at the word,
Safe
, wh
y did she not like that word today
? She shook her head again, thinking,
I just need to be brave. I want him safe but...what?

Then it hit her, an icy cold chill, she didn’t want him
safe
.
That was it!
She wanted him burning with a fire that would consume him.
She wanted him burning for her!
He was going to die and all she could think about was fulfilling her own selfish desires. She felt a wave of guilt then, willingly kiss him. Autumn frowned at her reflection in the mirror,
Oh god no!
What if when she kissed him
, and
she couldn’t take the fire from him? Her head began to pound
then and she shivered,
grabbing
a bottle of pills. After
she popped a couple, finishing
it off with a handful of water from the tap
,
she dried her hands.

She looked up at the top shelf in the bathroom where she had put the red book and swallowed hard. Then she thought to herself,
be
brave
,
and glanced at her watch
,
eight forty five. Then she walked out to find the living room exactly how she normally left it. The only
exception
was her files
,
stacke
d on the desk
, and
that all of her
s
h
elves were bare.

Someone had even opened the curtains in the room and flooded it with nat
ural morning light
. S
erena was bent over some of the files
studying the papers carefully before c
ommenting
, “
She might be the eye. Look at these every clan is in here.”

Grayton nodded in agreement from the desk, where he w
as looking over a stack of papers
as well. Grayton added, looking up at Ivan mournfully, “I am sorry Ivan.”

Ivan replied glumly, not looking at his friend
, “
As am I Grayton.” Autumn watched as Ivan flipped though her dream jo
urnal reading it quickly, tracing
his fingers along the word
s that were underlined. He did no
t seem to
like what he was reading. She
stepped in closer to get a better look. He was reading her dream about their first meeting. She didn’t want him to read that, her chest hardened and her skin felt cold all of a sudden.
She
reactively reached out and touched Ivan’s arm.

He jumped holding his arm
protectively looking surprised
. Serena
and Grayton turned to look… frightened. Grayton stood up light
ning fast his chair falling backwards hitting the floor with a thud. Serena simply gaped at her, and Ivan stumbled a few steps back
wards
. Autumn twisted her body shaking off the cold that now settled on her skin
, trying to understand the problem
.

Instinctively, she held her hand out to touch Ivan again
, comfort him if possible, but
he stumbled back
further
. Autumn felt a stab i
n her heart
then;
when he
pulled away from her
he made it clear she was no longer going to be able to help him, only hurt him
.
Then unexpectedly, Ivan dropped to the ground gripping his chest looking at her in
pain
. Then she was surprised
to see a
figure rushing towards her; it was Grayton and he had a look in
his
eyes that frightened her
, like no other ever had before
. Serena held her hand up to stop him but he
did not listen.
“She is the eye” drifted slowly into the air
, slowly as if they were never spoken but materialized
,
floating in the wind
to stop him.

Autumn slid her hand up
,
imitating Serena and Grayton stopped on a dime, growling
in frustration
, “You’re go
ing to kill him.” She
understood
then and s
lid her hand onto Ivan’s chest, concentrating on his pain and pulling it back from his
body
. She was
repeating a scene from one of her dreams
, much as a fresh memory now
. It was like liquid light, flowing easily and
warming her as it came back mesh
ing with her flesh
, pure and true
. Instantly she felt herself pull more than was necessary and watched as a flame followed the pain back
into her chest and began pulsing,
on the inside
of her
.