The Five-Minute Marriage (20 page)

“
Oh—
”
said Gareth with an impatient sigh,
“
even the
amount
is almost impossible to ascertain! His affairs were in such a sorry tangle—debtors here and creditors there, fines for offenses (quite unwitting, I am sure) against the revenue laws, and more fines for not paying those fines, bills backed by people who have since vanished away, assignments and settlements of things that ought not to have been assigned and settled in the way they were—I sometimes despair of ever getting it all sorted out. That was why you saw me at Lady Dalrymple
’
s party—because I knew that one of his creditors would be there—but it is hopeless, I sometimes feel. Even if I get him out, what is to prevent him from plunging back into the same kind of muddle?
”

He had spoken unreflectingly loud, and little Isa suddenly burst into a heartrending fit of sobs.

“
Oh,
poor
Papa
—poor
Papa!
”
she wept.
“
Why
should he have to live there, in a cage—like a poor canary?
”

And she looked back at Sam Swannup, still watching them through the bars of the gate.

Overcome by compunction at having asked the question that gave rise to this outburst, Delphie knelt down on the cobbles by the sobbing child.

“
Come, do not cry! Think how brave your father is, he does not cry a bit! And he keeps writing away at his poetry, and one of these days I daresay so many people will have bought his poems that he will be as rich as the King, and they will let him out of those gates, and he will come riding home in a bright red carriage! Now let me dry your eyes, and then perhaps your uncle Gareth will allow you to ride on the donkey for a very little way!
”

“
Yes—that
is
allowed on the way home,
”
said Gareth, smiling faintly.
“
And we will go back over London Bridge, so that I can leave your father
’
s papers at the printer, and you will be able to see the Tower of London.
”

“
Oh yes!
”
Isa brightened up.
“
And you will tell us about the Princes in the Tower, and their wicked uncle—won
’
t you, Uncle Gareth?
”

Gareth looked amused.

“
Wicked uncles are a favorite theme in this family,
”
he told Delphie.
“
I do not know how it comes about! The children seem to prefer them to ogres and brigands.
”

The way home, therefore, was enlivened by all the tales of wicked uncles which the combined memories of Delphie and Gareth could produce.

When they reached Fleet Street, Gareth turned aside, saying he would just leave their father
’
s manuscript at the printers in Salisbury Square; they might go on slowly and he would catch them up. The children went on, but Delphie loitered a little, waiting for Gareth, and asked him, when he rejoined her—the children being now some fifty yards ahead—

“
What was Mr. Palgrave
’
s profession before—before he was incarcerated? Or has he always been a poet?
”

“
Profession?
”
said Gareth dryly.
“
Why—none, to speak of. The man
’
s an amiable sponger—always has been! He
’
s well bred enough, and had just a little money of his own—met my sister
—
she fell in love with him—thought he was the most handsome, romantic man in the world—ran off with him, my mother objecting to the match, as well she might—and look at the result! Can you wonder that I think as I do on certain subjects—romantic marriages—love at first sight, woman
’
s intuition—? Then, of course, he spent all Una
’
s money, having already run through his own, and, in return, bestowed ten children upon her. Luckily they are as good little things as ever twanged—
”

“
I can see
that
,”
said Delphie warmly.

“
But how in the world are ten children to be provided for,
”
he said furiously,
“
when the father does nothing but scribble verses behind bars, and the mother lies upon a sofa and blames everybody in the world but herself? I tell you, it is enough to put one out of all patience with—
”

“
With what?
”
asked Delphie as he broke off, his eyes suddenly fixed ahead in a look of incredulous dismay.

“
Good God!
”
he exclaimed.
“
I know Mordred warned me of it
—
but I had no real expectation that he would come quite so soon
—
Those are my uncle
’
s bays, unless I am much mistaken—and that is his traveling carriage!
”

“
What? Where?
”

“
There! Yes—it is he! What
’
s more, he sees us. He is opening the window—he is making the coachman pull up.
”
Casting a glance ahead toward the church of St. Clement Danes, Gareth muttered,
“
What a piece of luck that at least I had directed the children to walk on! He may not connect them with us.
”

“
Why? Does he not approve of them?
”

“
He does not
know
of them! And he would certainly not approve! By great good fortune, he did not hear of my sister
’
s disastrous marriage—for it took place during one of the periods when he was abroad, taking the waters. Fortunately, also, his visits to town are so rare: he has no friends, and listens to no gossip. For if he did hear of my sister
’
s marriage—we should be completely in the basket!
”

“
Take care!
”
exclaimed Philadelphia, for at this moment the carriage which had been the object of Gareth
’
s attention pulled up close beside them, and the face which Delphie had last seen apparently
in articulo mortis
now looked peevishly down at them from the window.

Lord Bollington was grotesquely swathed in traveling capes, and had an extraordinary, countrified, wide-brimmed hat, pulled down over a series of flannel bands, which were wound and tied under his chin. Certainly he did not look quite so ill as he had at Chase, but he did not, Delphie thought, look at all well, either; there was a bright flush on his cheekbones, his mouth worked, his eyes were glazed and rheumy, and the gloved hand with which he beckoned to Gareth perceptibly shook. A faint suspicion, which Delphie had been entertaining, that Lord Bollington had feigned his deathbed scene in order to hurry his nephew into matrimony, was rapidly dispelled at sight of him; she exclaimed,

“
Oh, my dear sir, you should
not
be driving about the streets in your state of health! It is
most
ill advised!
”

“
Shut your head, ma
’
am!
”
growled his lordship ill-temperedly.
“
I didn
’
t halt the carriage to be given a lot of vaporish advice which I don
’
t require!
I’ll
be the judge of whether I
’
m fit to ride about the streets, and I
’
ll thank you to remember that!
”

“
My—my dear wife was merely solicitous on your account, sir,
”
Gareth remarked.

Lord Bollington gave a sudden malicious bark of laughter.
“
Didn
’
t think to see you two strolling along arm in arm like a pair of turtledoves at half-past eight in the morning, I must confess! Come about, have you? Decided to run in harness? I never thought you was sweet on your cousin Elaine,
”
he said to Gareth.
“
Truth to tell, thought you detested her!
”

“
Why,
”
said Gareth coolly,
“
I wonder what can have put such a notion into your head, sir? We are excellent friends, are we not, my dear?
”
he added, looking down at Delphie; the expression in his eyes filled her with an urge to burst out laughing which she had to choke back as best she could.

“
Indeed we are,
”
she agreed demurely.

“
Glad to hear it! Wish it may last!
”

“
And what are
you
doing in the streets at this hour, sir?
”
inquired Gareth.

“
Confounded wheeler cast a shoe at Deptford; obliged to rack up for the night at a devilish noisy drafty ill-run dirty inn called The Blue Boar; wouldn
’
t wish such a night on my worst enemy! Glad to make an early start and get away.
”

“
In that case, sir,
”
said Gareth,
“
you must be extremely anxious to reach the comfort of your own house, which I know my cousin Mordred has ready for you, and we will detain you not a moment longer.
”

“
Yes, sir,
”
added Delphie,
“
I am persuaded you should immediately retire to bed—between
thoroughly
warmed sheets—with a tisane, a hot brick, and a sprinkling of aromatic vinegar on the pillow!
”

Since this was precisely what his lordship had been proposing to do, he nearly snapped her head off.

“
Hot fiddlestick, madam! Keep your nostrums to yourself! I intend to go to my club. But tomorrow evening I shall come and take my mutton with you both in Curzon Street—I trust you are dining in? Want to make sure you are settling down! Needn
’
t fidget your cook to give me anything out of the common—Gareth knows I can
’
t abide fancy Francayed foreign kickshaws!
”

“
Oh!
”
responded Gareth rather blankly.
“
Of course, sir!
Are
we dining in, tomorrow, my love?
”
he added, to Delphie.

“
I—I believe so!
”
she said, rather breathless.
“
At wh-what time do you care to dine, great-uncle?
”

“
At five!
”
said Lord Bollington, and called to his coachman to drive on.
“
I shall be at your house by a quarter before five!
”
he called, and shut the window.

“
Now look what you have done!
”
exclaimed Gareth as soon as the carriage was out of earshot.
“
You have properly landed us in the suds! What possessed you to give him that wretchedly ill
-
timed and meddlesome piece of advice, just when he would otherwise have gone off to bed and forgotten us?
”

“
I—I couldn
’
t resist it,
”
said Philadelphia guiltily.

“
Just as I thought! You did it out of pure mischief!
”

“
No, no!
”
she defended herself.
“
It was
good
advice. Besides, I am persuaded it made no real difference. He was bound to insist on coming around to Curzon Street sooner or later.
”

“
Yes,
”
Gareth said gloomily.
“
And now that all our skeletons are out of the closet, I imagine that you have completely set your face against complying with my suggestion that you come and occupy my ground floor?
”

“
Do you?
”
said Delphie.
“
Then you are strangely mistaken! On the contrary, I intend to move myself and Mamma without delay. I shall have to, shall I not, if we are to entertain Great-uncle Mark tomorrow at five?
”