The Fix (Carolina Connections #1) (19 page)

“God,
you’re such a child! You don’t get it at all!” I yelled at him.

He
flipped me off, proving my point, and slammed the door behind him, making me
feel so agitated that I wanted to scream and throw things. Why couldn’t he see
that he had the world at his feet if he’d just open his eyes and consider the
possibilities waiting out there for him?
Son of a bitch!

I
checked on Rocco to make sure we hadn’t woken him up, but thankfully he was
fast asleep positioned sideways on his bed. I felt so incredibly crappy and
there was no way I was going to sleep so I called Fiona, praying that she
wasn’t asleep yet. I got her voicemail. Well, reality TV is was, then.

***

Nate:
Did Gavin ever show up last night?

Laney:
Yeah, and we got into it. I’m pretty sure we’ve disowned each other.

Nate:
I’ve done that to Bailey numerous times but she’s still somehow hanging around.

Laney:
I don’t think he’s coming to work today. I’ll explain everything later, but I’m
really sorry he’s being such an ass.

Nate:
Can’t wait to hear this one. Have a good day and I’ll call you later.

Laney:
XOXO

Nate:
You know I can’t bring myself to do that crap.

Laney:
Oh, come on, just one lousy emoji or acronym and I’ll leave you alone…

Nothing.
Damn.

I
had just arrived at work and really should have been doing my job but I had to
catch up with Nate and I still hadn’t heard from Fiona. I had been so pissed off
last night that I’d tossed and turned and waited for Gavin to come home but he
never showed. Not a huge surprise. So I was basically a zombie this morning, my
Diet Coke doing nothing to revive me. I barely made it through the day and I
may have possibly nodded off on the toilet in the early afternoon. If the pins
and needles in my butt-cheeks were any indication I probably did. Is it bad
form as an employee to bring a pillow into the bathroom?

I
texted Fiona again and finally got a response. “ttyl sorry,” was all it said.

By
the time I picked up Rocco and got home I was so glad it was the weekend and I
just wanted to pass out. I followed Rocco in the door and was pleasantly
surprised to find Nate standing in my kitchen making dinner. “Oh my God, I love
you.”

Yes,
that’s what I said.
Shit fuck damn!

Being
the wonderful man he is, after a silent beat he just turned around and smiled,
flashing me the dimple.

“Can
we please just pretend I didn’t say that and you come here and give me a kiss
instead?” I pleaded.

That
got a good laugh and the kiss wasn’t so bad either.

“Hey,
dude,” Nate addressed Rocco after making my belly dip. “I’m making home-made
pizza. You want to help?”

“Yeah,
yeah, yeah!” he shouted.

“Go
wash your hands first,” I told my kid, “and keep your clothes on – naked people
are not allowed to prepare dinner. It’s a health code violation!” He raced to
the bathroom, probably ignoring what I’d said.

“Well,”
my arms circled Nate’s waist and my head rested on his firm chest. “You seem to
be in a much better mood tonight.”

“Yeah,”
he said. “Sorry about last night, but it’s all worked out…well, for the most
part. We’ll talk about it once Rocco’s in bed.”

This
was a revelation to me because I hadn’t seen nor heard from my pain-in-the-ass
brother since he’d stormed out of here last night. I was dying of curiosity.
But instead of pressing Nate for details I joined in on the pizza-making party
and contributed to the total mess my kitchen became. It was pretty awesome.

I
put Rocco in the tub after dinner and hoped that the flour and sauce that
coated his entire body would all wash off. Tonight’s song was about pooping in
The Fart Fortress so I tried to stay out of the bathroom as much as possible. I
have a dirty mind, don’t get me wrong, but Rocco’s is a totally different
variety of dirty I can’t quite connect with.

To
my shock and great pleasure, Rocco requested that Nate read him his story
tonight. That had never happened before and I could tell Nate was pretty
touched though he macho-manned his way past it like it was no big deal.
Afterwards, I gave Rocco a kiss and tucked him in, pleading with him to stay in
his own bed.

“But
I like yours.”

“I
know, but you need to learn to stay in your own bed all night.”

“Why?”

Because
I can’t sleep very well with your butt in my face.

Because
I want to get laid by my boyfriend and you’re kind of cramping my style.

Because
I love you but mommies need personal space.

But
no, I went with, “Because I said so.” I had finally done it – I’d turned into
my mother. Good God.

Unbelievably
he actually accepted my answer, but I was pretty sure it was just because he
was so tired. I would never get that lucky again.

***

“So,
tell me how this whole Gavin thing worked itself out. I didn’t sleep a wink
last night I was so worked up. I’m glad it got sorted.”

Nate
and I were on the couch, me with my glass of wine and a pillow snuggled in my
lap, him leaning back with his legs resting on the coffee table and an IPA in
hand.

“Well,
I have to say I was pretty pissed last night and I wasn’t sure what to expect
this morning. He didn’t show up–”

“Shit.”

“Let
me finish. He didn’t show up at first. Then around 10:00 he came and found me.
He looked like shit. Then he laid it all out for me like I assume he did to you
last night, and we worked out a deal. His pay for yesterday is being docked and
he’s on probation but I’m going to let him make up the couple hours he missed
this morning.”

“So
he’s not quitting,” I stated more than asked.

Nate
looked uncomfortable.

“Now
here’s the part you may not like. He’s not quitting…for now.” I started to
react but he put a hand up to stop me. “Listen, Laney, I don’t want somebody
working for me who doesn’t want the job. That’s how mistakes get made and
people get careless. That can only result in shoddy work and injuries, neither
of which I need. If he doesn’t want to work construction then he shouldn’t.”

“But
he doesn’t want to do
anything
!”

“You
know that’s not true. He wants to play baseball.”

“But
he can’t! A gazillion doctors and trainers have told him that. It’s over – no
big leagues. He needs to get over it and grow up.” I set my wine on the coffee
table so I wouldn’t spill it – or throw it.

“Look,
I don’t know if he can or can’t play, but if he wants to try that’s his
business, not mine, and frankly, it’s not really yours either.”

“Excuse
me?!” My blood pressure hit the ceiling and I threw the pillow down.

“I
know you’ve been dealing with this situation for a lot longer than I’ve been in
the picture, but I saw the look in his eyes when he was talking about playing.
It’s his passion – his dream. I know what it’s like to be forced to do
something other than what you love and it sucks.”

I
couldn’t stay seated any longer. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. Since when
am I the only person on earth who is in touch with reality?”

“Cut
the sarcasm, Laney. Usually I think it’s cute but right now is not the time.”
Nate sat forward and set his beer down too.

“I’m
sorry, I just don’t know how else to respond when I’m faced with not one but
two delusional people who think you can just wish on a star and all of your
dreams come true – poof! That’s not how life works and encouraging Gavin will
just lead to heartbreak in the end.”

“Who’s
heart? If he wants to risk it, let him.”

“Everyone’s
heart, Nate! Everyone’s! That’s what happens when people you love make bad
decisions and you’re left standing as the only responsible person in the room
no matter how much you wish you could say, ‘Fuck it! I think I’ll skip work and
go to Paris tomorrow – that sounds like a shitload of fun!’”

Nate
stood and put his hands out in a ‘let’s placate the crazy person so she doesn’t
shoot’ manner. “Okay, I can see I’ve touched a big nerve and you’re getting
emotional. Let’s take a step back–”

“Emotional?
Emotional?! Oh, so now I’m just the hormonal little woman fucking things up by
bringing feelings into it. Oh, and I probably have PMS too so obviously my
opinions are invalid!”

“That’s
not what I said and you know it!” He was starting to get pissed. I should
accuse
him
of having PMS.

“I
can’t talk to you right now. I need you to leave.”

“Come
on, Laney. This is crazy!”

“Of
course it’s crazy – the entire world seems to have turned inside out and I’m
the only one making any sense!” I physically turned him around and started
pushing him to the door. “Please just go. I can’t handle any more of this right
now.”

“I
don’t want to leave things like this, Laney,” he protested but let me lead him,
even though he certainly possessed the strength to stay put.

I
started to cry. I couldn’t help it. “I can’t…I just…I need you to leave me
alone for now. I’m exhausted and I need to think.”

The
tears must have done him in because he finally caved. “I’ll go home but we are
going to talk tomorrow and work this out.”

I
continued to push him out. “I don’t know. I’ll call you.” But my mind was so
discombobulated and the tears wouldn’t stop so I may have been lying. I knew I
felt my heart breaking but I wasn’t entirely sure of the source.

***

“I
am so sorry! I had to go to Raleigh for one of the charities – my mother
guilted me into it – and everything was so last minute. Gary was pissed so I
think I might be fired, but that’s actually a good thing. He was starting to
flirt with me and you know I don’t go there. I’ve got something else lined up
anyway, I think. So I ended up spending the night because my dad got off work
and we all went out to dinner. One wine led to another and I stayed at the
hotel where the function was. So, what did I miss?” Fiona chattered over the
phone.

I
laughed but it held no humor at all.

“Oh
no! What happened?”

“I
have no idea. I mean, I do, but I don’t. I think my brother is moving to
Virginia and I think Nate and I may have broken up.” The tears started again
for the tenth time since last night. I’d had to call Charlotte for emergency
babysitting this morning because I didn’t want Rocco to see me so upset, so at
least I was by myself while I cried my eyes out. Two nights without sleep and
with too many tears – I was shriveling up like a raisin.

“What?
No! That can’t be true,” Fiona protested.

I
proceeded to tell her everything I knew, ending with me shoving Nate out the
door.

“You
really told him you loved him?”

“That’s
all you took from that whole saga?” I sniffled

“Of
course not, but I wanted to focus on the good stuff.”

“There
is no good stuff. And to top it all off, if I broke up with Nate and Gavin is
leaving, I’m essentially stripping my poor kid of his two best friends. Just
hand me my ‘Mother of the Year’ award right now,” I sobbed.

“Oh
stop. All of this can be fixed. Just listen to your fairy godmother, Fiona, and
it will all be okay.”

She
proceeded to calm me down a bit and try to put things in perspective a little
better. My exhausted mind wasn’t working very well but some of what she said
started to make a little sense.

“You
and Nate did not break up. What you did was have a fight – all couples have
fights – and once you patch things up you get to have hot make-up sex. I’ve
known you for years and when you get going there is no stopping you – you’re
sort of like a
Housewife
in that sense – I hate to be the one to break
it to you.”

“Hey
– that’s mean. You’re supposed to be making me feel better.”

“Oh
shut up – you know it’s true. Now, listen. I love you and I only want the best
for you and Rocco. You’ve not had the easiest time of it, but I’ve got to lay
it out for you, Laney, so please don’t be mad at me.”

“Oh
God – what? Is this the part where you tell me I’m not always 100% right?”

“Yes
it is, girl, and you can handle it so here goes. I think the reason you get so
worked up over Gavin and his admittedly sketchy life choices is that you may be
projecting a little bit. You’re not happy with some of the choices you’ve made
and after you beat yourself up a bit, you tend to turn it around on him. I
think maybe you’re reluctant to treat him with more patience and compassion
because you can’t seem to stop being mad at yourself for your mistakes and decisions
that maybe didn’t work out too well.”