The Forbidden Wish (18 page)

“I cannot break a promise I did not make myself,” Caspida replies calmly. “And no promises will be made on my behalf. From now on, no voice will command my future but my own. Step aside, Uncle. I will keep my father's decree, but on my terms and not yours.” She draws herself up, unflinching. “Leave our presence.”

Sulifer stares at her with a blank expression, but his eyes are dark with anger. He turns to Darian. “Come.”

Without looking back, Sulifer descends and strides through the crowd. Darian hesitates, his face scarlet.

“You heard the queen,” says Aladdin coolly.

After giving Aladdin a furious look, Darian runs to catch up to his father. The astonished people part wide, none wanting to be caught in Sulifer's path. The vizier and his son leave through the central door, letting it slam behind them.

Only then does Caspida turn back to Aladdin and hold out a hand. He takes it, his face pale, and together they face the court.

“Let the wedding preparations commence,” says Caspida.

Then she sits on the throne, Aladdin standing beside her, their hands still joined. The crier, brought forward by a flick of Caspida's free hand, dismisses the nobles. They are slow to leave, and long, calculating looks are cast at the couple on the dais. Guards speed up the process, ushering them all out, until at last the room is empty save for the few guards, Caspida and Aladdin, and the Watchmaidens and me.

The princess exhales deeply and bends over, her face in her hands. Her girls flock to her, brushing Aladdin aside and kneeling before their princess.

Aladdin stands by quietly. I move to his side, and he meets my gaze. The look he gives me is longing and uncertain, and soon I must avert my eyes, unable to withstand it.

It is for the best, my thief.

Caspida says, “Sulifer won't give up this easily. Even now, he is regrouping with his followers. We must move quickly. The Eristrati are loyal to me, at least, as are a few of the ministers.”

Khavar takes over, assigning tasks to the others in preparation
for the sudden nuptials. Within minutes, the girls have planned the entire ceremony, with special attention paid to security.

“Find Captain Pasha,” says Caspida, who sits with her knees drawn up on the throne, her face creased with thought. “He is loyal to me. Tell him to gather the Eristrati and every guard he trusts and bring them here.”

Nessa's eyes grow round. “You think Sulifer will attack?”

“We've known this moment was coming for years. Sulifer will try to control me the way he did my father. If I give him any ground, even for a day, he will inextricably insinuate himself into my reign. These next hours are crucial. I must establish myself independently of him and prove to my people that I will not be ruled. I want to speak to my council of ministers, to discuss the coronation.”

Aladdin speaks up, startling the girls a bit. “Then what are we waiting for? Why don't we throw him into the dungeons now?”

Caspida frowns. “It's not that simple, Rahzad. The vizier has the loyalty of the army as well as much of the court. Locking him up will only turn them against us.”

“But you're the
queen
. Can't you do whatever you want?”

“I don't know how your Istaryan kings and queens behave,” she returns, a bit sharply, “but in Parthenia, our power relies on the good will of the aristocracy and military. If I did ‘whatever I wanted,' I'd have riots breaking out on every corner.”

Aladdin gives me a frustrated glance, but there is nothing I can do. He must learn that Caspida is right. His vengeance will have to wait a while yet.

“Rahzad, I do not mean to be sharp with you,” Caspida says more softly. “How patient you have been, while I have dragged you about like a goat on a leash. I wish we had time to do this properly. To send gifts to one another's kingdoms, to discuss terms of our
alliance. I have not met your family, and I know so little of your people.”

Aladdin winces. “There's really not much to know.”

“When this is over, we will retrace our steps and begin anew. I cannot leave my city until the jinn have been dealt with, but when the time is right, I will journey with you to Istarya and see your land for myself.”

He smiles a bit weakly and glances at me, his eyes bright with panic. I feel a bit ill as I return his look, knowing I won't be around to help him. Knowing it's my fault he's in this mess. The consequences of my recent actions seem to be piling up, and I feel like a spider that has spun too thin a web.

Caspida makes us wait until Captain Pasha arrives with a contingent of Eristrati before leaving with her handmaidens. Aladdin and I, surrounded by a dozen guards, exit after her.

Back at Aladdin's rooms, he insists the guards wait outside, which they do only after thoroughly searching the chambers for assassins, poison, or other plots.

Alone at last, Aladdin slumps onto the cushions and lets out a long, groaning sigh. Outside, the storm winds rip at the silk curtains hung between the arches, and rain patters on the courtyard. Though it is midday, it is dark enough to be midnight.

“It's all happening so fast,” he says. “I didn't think . . . I'm marrying the princess in a matter of
hours
.”

“And yet you look as if you've swallowed broken glass.”

He slowly runs his hand through his hair, his eyes fixed on the floor. “She doesn't love me.”

I go stand in one of the arches and let the rain dampen my face as the curtains billow around me. The smoke roiling and pulsing inside me echoes the wildness of the storm. I watch the sky for any
sign of jinn, the bond with my lamp chafing like a rope around my core. Where is Zhian? Where is Nardukha? Why do they delay? I long to fly away from here, to outrun Aladdin's gaze and hide myself in the clouds.

“Love is a path lined with roses,” I say bitterly. “But it leads to a cliff's edge, and all who follow it tumble to their doom. You will not find your happiness there.”

“Then what
does
bring happiness, Zahra?” he asks harshly, rising to his feet. “Tell me. In four thousand years, have you unlocked that secret?”

There is a challenge in his tone that makes me flinch. Drawing my eyes from the sky, I turn to him. “No. I have not. Which can mean only one thing: There
is
no secret to happiness. Because happiness itself is a mythical construct, a dream you humans tell yourselves to get you through each day. It is the moon, and you, like the sun, pursue it relentlessly, chasing it around and around, getting nowhere. And yet it never occurs to you that your quest is in vain. Why?” I step forward, eyes intent. “Tell me, Aladdin—
why
? What drives you into this insanity?”

His eyes thoughtfully stare into the rain, and he says, “Faith.”

At that, I laugh sourly. “In what? Imohel? The undergods?”

“Maybe,” he says. “For some. For others, faith in ourselves. Faith in the ones we love. Faith in tomorrow.”

“You sound like a bad poet.”

His eyes settle on me probingly. “What would it take to make you believe, Zahra?”

“I have lived too long to believe in happiness.”

“You've been in that lamp too long. It's curdled your heart. I think you do believe. I think you just don't want to get hurt. You're afraid.”

I clench my hands into fists, turning my back to him and facing the storm.

He stands and walks to my side, firm in the wind that blows around him, ruffling his hair and making his black cloak lift and swirl. “You loved before, and she was taken from you. Ever since, you've been afraid to love again. You insist you're a monster because you're afraid of being
human.
”

I stand before him speechless, defenseless. What good is it, Habiba, to deny the truth? Your friendship woke something in me all those centuries ago, some dormant humanity that had lingered through the years, and after you died, it recoiled and hid again.

But Aladdin has woken it once more. With his sun-bright smile and his laughing eyes and his way of asking the hardest kind of questions. After you, I swore never to love again.

But I love him.

And so I must let him go.

I
TELL MYSELF TO BE PATIENT.
It has only been a few hours since I released Zhian, and Ambadya is a vast world. It will take him some time to cross the red wastes and jagged mountains to Nardukha's stronghold, where the Shaitan holds court. And who can say how long Nardukha will take to grant my freedom, or what manner in which he will do it. Time moves more slowly for the ageless; he may pass days as humans pass hours, and I could be stuck here for a while yet.

Strangely, the thought brings some comfort. As much as I long to be rid of Aladdin and the feelings he stirs in me, I also want never to leave his side. As soon as I do, he will be alone in this vipers' nest of a court.

There is much to do in the hours before dawn, when the wedding will take place. Generally Amulen weddings take a week of preparation, with each day carefully parceled out into ceremony.
But tradition must be sacrificed for speed, and so we tackle the bare minimum.

Most important, Aladdin needs a bath.

The ceremonial bathing the day before the wedding is one of the more sacred traditions. And so Aladdin, accompanied by a half dozen soldiers, is escorted to the palace baths. I follow in the form of a sparrow, flitting from here to there down the hall, a few steps behind. Before leaving his room, Aladdin made me promise to wait outside, but I perch on the top of the last guard's peaked helmet and pass unnoticed inside the baths.

The room is dark except for thin rods of light that beam through small holes dotting the dome above. Six large, round pools are spaced evenly in a white tiled floor. White lotus and rose petals drift tranquilly on the turquoise water. The room is empty when we arrive, and Aladdin turns to the guards.

“You, um, wouldn't mind waiting outside, would you?”

“We are under strict orders not to take our eyes off you,” replies a stoic man.

Aladdin rubs his face. “Yes, I know that. But look, I'm the only one here. If I need you, I'll yell or something.”

The man simply stares blankly back at him.

With a groan of frustration, Aladdin adds, “You do realize that after tomorrow, I'll be your
king
?”

The guards exchange uncertain looks, then acquiesce begrudgingly, streaming out through the door. I flit away and land on a ledge along the wall.

Aladdin sighs and disrobes down to a white cloth around his waist, careful not to set down the lamp. This he strings onto a chain around his neck, and then he sinks into the first pool. He vanishes beneath the surface, bubbles streaming around him, and
does not emerge for several long seconds. I begin to worry that he won't come back up at all, that he will go the same route as so many of my masters who came to regret their wishes—but then he bursts upward, shaking his head and sending water spraying. He glides across the pool and sits on the opposite side in a shaft of sunlight, stretching his arms along the tiled rim. His head falls back, and he shuts his eyes.

“I know you're there,” he says. “You might as well come down.”

I fly to the edge of the pool and shift to human, dressed in a thin white kurta that comes to my knees. I dangle my legs in the water.

“For some kind of all-powerful jinni from the dawn of time,” says Aladdin, his eyes opening a crack to peer at me, “you're damn predictable.”

I lift one foot from the water, splashing him. “You might want to dunk again. You still smell like you sleep with goats.”

He swipes a hand across the water, dousing me, and I shriek and tumble into the water, where I drench him with a series of splashes. He sputters and holds up his hands defensively, then with a roar, launches off the side of the pool and catches me around the waist, dragging me under the surface.

For a moment we are weightless, eyes open and locked underwater, flowers drawn down with us, swirling around us in a current of white bubbles. My hair floats around us both like black silk. His hands are still around my waist, mine pressed against his bare chest. My lamp drifts between us.

Aladdin plants his feet against the bottom of the pool and kicks off, pushing us upward to burst through the surface. He gasps in air and shakes the wet hair from his eyes. Without pulling away, we float in silence, and I cannot take my gaze from him. Water runs
down his cheeks and lips, dripping from his jaw. A lock of his hair is stuck to his forehead, and I gently lift it away, curling it around my finger before letting it go.

“What are we doing?” he whispers, pulling me closer.

I cannot reply. I don't trust my own voice. He brings his forehead down to rest against mine, and everything outside this pool and this moment ceases to exist. All that matters is the gentle sound of our breathing, our reflections on the water, the feel of his hands around me.

He is the sun, and I am the moon. We must stay apart or the world will be thrown out of balance. But what I must admit is that I
do
understand the insanity that drives humans to chase happiness they will never grasp. Because I feel it too, Habiba. Every time I try to pull away, I find myself drawn back to him. Even now, on the eve of his wedding, I cannot let go, no matter how many times I tell myself that I must.

It will all be over tomorrow
, I think.
He will marry Caspida, and surely by then, Nardukha will have set me free.

I rest my head on his shoulder, feeling his heart beating against me. I wish I could gather time around us, slowing the minutes, making them last a lifetime.

“I was born on the island kingdom of Ghedda,” I whisper. This is a story I never told even to you, Habiba. I tell it now only because I cannot bear to leave him without the truth, knowing only half of me. I raise my head and meet his eyes. “That was more than four thousand years ago. I was the eldest daughter of a wise and generous king.”

Aladdin stares at me, his eyes soft and curious, encouraging me to go on.

“When I was seventeen, I became queen of Ghedda. In those days, the jinn were greater in number, and the Shaitan held greater sway over the realms of men. He demanded we offer him twenty maidens and twenty warriors in sacrifice, in return for fair seas and lucrative trade. I was young and proud and desired, above all else, to be a fair ruler. I would not bow to his wishes, so he shook our island until it began to fall into the sea.”

I shudder, and Aladdin draws me closer.

“I climbed to the alomb at the top of the Mountain of Tongues, and there offered myself to the Shaitan, if he would only save my city from the sea.” My voice falls to a whisper, little more than a ripple on the water. “So he took me and made me jinn and put me in the lamp. And then he caused the Mountain of Tongues to erupt, and Ghedda was lost to fire. For he had sworn only to save my people from the sea, not from flame.”

Falling silent, I wait to see what Aladdin will do. Call me naïve for trusting the word of the Shaitan? Tell me I should have bowed to Nardukha's wishes in the first place?

But Aladdin says nothing.

Instead, he lowers his face and softly kisses the side of my neck, his mouth trailing up to the skin behind my ear. Goose bumps break across my skin, and I turn my face to meet his lips with mine. This kiss is gentler than our last, long and slow and restrained. It is a kiss of longing. A kiss of farewell. His hands tighten around my waist, pulling me against him. We drift in a slow circle, sending out ripples that make the floating flowers bob and dip.

“You keep so many secrets,” he murmurs. “I could spend the rest of my life discovering you.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, his eyes devouring my face. “Of course you were a queen. Of course you
sacrificed yourself for your people. You did all you could, Zahra. You can't blame yourself for what the Shaitan did. He would have done it anyway.”

“I should have died with my people.”

“If you had, I would have never met you.” He kisses me again, more deeply, his hands twining in my hair. I let his touch wash away the past.

It is Aladdin who pulls away first, with a soft, husky laugh.

“This is crazy. I'm getting married tomorrow,” he says.

I nod and lay my head on his shoulder.

“It's not too late,” he says. “Zahra, I—”

“Sh.” I lay a finger across his lips. “Don't say it. You will marry Caspida, and you will learn to love each other. You will live a happy life, long after my lamp has passed to new hands.”

“I won't make my third wish,” he says. “That's the answer! If I don't make the wish, you can stay here in the palace for as long as you want. You'll never have to go back to your lamp. We can fight off anyone who tries to take you from me.”

“Even if that were true, you would grow old and die. Or more likely, someone would discover my existence and kill you for my lamp. Or most likely, Caspida would learn that you're a fake and that I am one of the jinn she so deeply hates, and she would destroy you and me both.”

“She'd understand.”

“Would she?”

He winces. “Fine. I won't marry her.”

“And what of your vengeance? Will you let Sulifer win that easily?”

He lowers his gaze. “Everything I've lived for will have been in vain. Sulifer will win. He will force Caspida to marry Darian.
She'll become their puppet, if they even let her live long at all. And no one will be left to oppose him. He'll get away with everything.”

I nod. “It would be our fault.”

He looks up, his forehead creasing. “Why do you care what happens to her? I thought we humans were vapors to you, here today and gone tomorrow.”

“Caspida is . . . different. She reminds me of someone, someone I'd give my life for if I could.”

“The queen?” he asks. “The one who died?”

“Roshana. My dear Ro.” My voice is soft as a ripple on the water. “She once ruled the Amulens, and Caspida is her descendant. She has Roshana's strength of spirit, and I cannot look at her without thinking of my old friend. If she were to come to harm on my account . . . I could not bear that through the centuries.” I already carry a mountain of shame, a constant reminder of that day on Mount Tissia.

Aladdin lifts a hand and brushes the hair back from my face. “You truly are remarkable, Zahra of the Lamp.”

“Don't,” I say, pushing his hand aside. I swim away to the edge of the pool. “You understand why you must go through with this marriage.”

“You say you couldn't live with yourself if anything happened to Caspida. Yet you ask
me
to live with myself, knowing I sentenced you to
this
!” He holds up the lamp. “What's the difference?”

I look away angrily. “The difference is that this is my choice, Aladdin.”

“Well, it's a stupid choice!”

I stand up. “Promise me you'll go through with it.”

He shuts his eyes.

“Promise me!
Please!
”

He opens his eyes then, and they are filled with pain. But he nods.

“I have to hear you say it.”

“I promise.”

Refusing to look at me, he sinks under the water again, until he is just a shadowy blur below. I go sit against the wall, curled up, and try to still the emotions roiling inside. What was I thinking, kissing him again? Am I doomed to make the same mistakes over and over? Falling for humans, getting too close, too involved, watching as they destroy themselves for me.

I taste salt and realize I'm crying. Angrily I rub my eyes. Soon I will get what I always wanted: my freedom. And none of this will matter. Didn't I tell myself a month ago, when this all began, that I would do anything for freedom? Losing Aladdin may be the hardest thing I have to do, but I must do it.

A door opens and shuts at the far end of the room, and I look up, startled.

It is Darian, and four boys are with him.

I shift at once, before they can see me, into airy smoke. I drift upward and hover on the ceiling, barely visible.

The boys circle around the bath and stare down at Aladdin, who is just coming up for air. His eyes are shut, and he wipes his hair back and runs his hands down his face before opening them and seeing Darian standing over him.

Aladdin goes still.

“Prince Rahzad,” says Darian.

“I appreciate the thought,” says Aladdin, watching him warily. “But wedding gifts can be left at my rooms.”

“This one must be delivered in person.”

“How did you get past my guards?”

“They're not
all
your guards. At least, not anymore.” He smirks. “It's amazing what a few gold coins can buy, and the three guarding the back door happen to be greedier than most.”

Darian begins peeling off his clothes. The other boys do the same. Aladdin stays in the center of the pool, floating nonchalantly, but his eyes are alert to every movement. He lazily turns until he's facing me, and his eyes explore until he spots me, hovering against the ceiling.

The lamp.

Terror strikes me like lightning on a cloudless day. Aladdin has the lamp around his neck. If the boys see it . . . I catch sight of Aladdin's hands beneath the water, moving the lamp so that it's hidden behind his back.

Darian eases into the water. His body is lean, not powerful like Aladdin's, but lithe and muscular. The other boys are more solidly built, and they slide into the pool around Aladdin, hemming him in. Aladdin treads water, and the muscles in his shoulders and neck grow tense.

“If you think this game you and Cas are playing is going to work,” says Darian calmly, “then you're an even bigger idiot than I thought.”

“Careful,” says Aladdin. “I'd hate to have to uninvite you to the wedding.”

“She is
mine
, and has been since the day she was born. We were meant for each other.”

“Funny, she doesn't seem convinced of that.”

“Her mind has been poisoned. She spends too much time reading false histories of mythical queens and fancies herself one of
them. Her arrogance and delusions are regrettable, but nothing the firm hand of a husband can't fix.”