The Forgotten: Aten's Last Queen (10 page)

“Let us lay down. I grow weary from all the feasting this night. Your father is probably still celebrating. Let me instead rest my head next to my child for a while.”

My heart bubbled over with joy, and I smiled as broad as my lips would let me. She held me in her arms for the rest of the night. The night was still, our breathing was gentle, and her body kept me warm and secure. Flesh and blood kept my ka in this world for the rest of the night. I had not felt so protected before and have never felt that way since. I was at peace.

*****

The next morning when I awoke, Tia was setting out my linens for the day.

“Good morning, An. Your mother was feeling ill, and she did not want to wake you. She left early, but she asked me to dress you well. Our visitors are making plans to depart today.”

“So soon? Why?” I asked, getting up. I looked down at my child’s body standing naked in the first light of the day. I was clearly no woman yet.

“I hear from the cooks’ chatter that the king is angry. He is leaving as soon as he can. We must be at the quays by this afternoon to bid them off.”

Walking over to the water basin, my mind felt dizzy as I recalled last night’s adventure my ka went on.

Tia dressed me in a short-sleeved garment. I had no intention of dressing like a child anymore. My body may still look as a youth, but I felt as if I had doubled in age. Though I still had to wear my youth lock and not a wig, I asked Tia to braid my hair tightly and lay a colored scarf over my scalp. After fastening up my rush-woven sandals, I ventured out of my room.

I wrapped the scarf around my lips and nose as I emerged from my quarters to the water courtyard. Everything was quiet around me as Aten’s gaze peeked over the palace walls. I knew father would be awake and busy in his personal house set off from the entrance court.

My father had separate and private scribe rooms and would conduct correspondence from these rooms along with settling simple disputes of the city. Whenever I saw him emerge from his scribe house, he was either weary or frustrated. When I was younger, walking out in the gardens or the animal houses would clear his head. Now I was not sure if even mother could extinguish his flame. He hated correspondence and seemed to make excuses more often of late to avoid the task.

The pool was calm this morning. Aten was not yet heating its waters nor were his rays dancing on its surface. Trees surrounded the square pool. To my right were the animal stalls. Each animal had a manger within a separate pillared hall. There were great cats, antelopes, gazelles, and all sorts of animals created by Aten’s power. But they did not interest me today.

My feet took me next into the sunken garden on the backside of the palace, which was surrounded on three sides by bird chambers. Their chatter was like music. Though the walls were beautifully painted in greens, blues, reds, blacks, and whites with images of birds in the wild, the actual birds were far more colorful. Like people gathering at the market, these birds were all unique. Their plumage was an array of hues. It’s a wonder Aten had so made shades to paint them with. Their beaks and wing span all differed slightly, and if you spent enough time in this garden, you could make out each bird’s voice. Listening to their songs, I felt a refreshing calm settle over me like reassuring arms wrapping themselves around my body… just like Mother’s.

My dream faded away.

With a clear head, I began to walk back to my quarters through the back hallway which connected to the apartments. I would make sure I had extra time to paint my face for the farewell so Tia would not get in trouble again. This hall led me past the small throne room, which was usually used for tasks Father tried to shirk onto someone else. I had thought my father was clearing up business in his private house, but as I neared the throne room, I could hear his voice. There was anger in it.

I stopped behind a pillar as he spoke, his voice too soft to hear, but fearing he’d see me pass by the open doorway. I wanted to turn and go the other way, but I also heard Tadukhipa’s father. Though this was my first time meeting him, his accent was unmistakable. There was also a rasp to his voice as if he had captured the sands of time in his throat.

“The Hittites threaten our borders daily. My people live in fear. Yet every time I plead to my ally for help, my cries go unanswered!” he snapped. “Yet when your military has marched through, we must provide rooms and food and wine for them.”

“I brought you here to see that my gold is spent only for the glory of Aten. The gold is in these walls, the temples, in the food we live by. It’s a part of this grand city. It is for Aten and His people. But all you see is gold’s weight, just like the priests of Amun. You wish to seize what you can for yourself,” my father answered roughly.

“I see my people fearing the snarling dogs encroaching on our lands! They nip at our heels. Why do you not hear me in this?”

“I hear what you say, but I also see your actions. All those letters of complaints spewing discourse about my father. You came here because your daughter is not the great wife and because you demand her price. But it was not your daughter who gave me a son. You once told my father she would bear him many sons. In all my nights with her, she has given me one daughter. I have daughters!”

“My daughter is faithful. She does not try to steal your crown!”

There was a loud clatter of metal. Peeking around the pillar, I could see a gold cup shaped as a lotus and colored with blue rolling on the floor. The left side wall was now stained with red wine. I shivered as I felt a whisper of the dream’s touch around my legs, which had trapped me like rope binding its prisoner.

“Is that what your people are saying? I am ruled by my wife?” Father seethed at him.

“The people say that even an invasion of your own city would not get you out of your wife’s bedroom.”

“How dare you!”

“How dare them! Maybe you should pay more attention to your southern border. If you find your eyes opened to concerns outside of your city here, I hope you will remember the other territories that live in fear.”

“If the Nubians wish for me to pay attention to them, I can arrange it. Pray that my attention does not travel northward.”

“So Pharaoh speaks in threats now?” Tadukhipa’s father said with a chuckle.

“Pharaoh speaks, and it is law. The question is, how do you speak?”

There was silence. I dared not even breathe. It lasted so long I was sure it was midday by the time Tadukhipa’s father spoke again.

“Thank you for your
generous
hospitality. I ask to take my leave now.”

“I will remember this visit well. You are dismissed.”

I squished myself as flat as I could against the pillar, barely breathing. Footsteps and the swishing of robes departed from the room and down the hall, most likely to Tadukhipa’s rooms. I was about to move again when another voice cut the air like a blade of bronze through fabric.

It was my grandfather Ay, “You handled that as well as could be, Pharaoh.”

“Please let High Priest Meryra know that his services will not be required at the royal quay today. Be sure to let Kiya know as well so she does not make a scene that he is not there. But I do not believe our visitors would appreciate a blessing from Aten for their journey.”

“I will, Pharaoh. Is there anything else you require?”

“Yes, I think it’s time for a visit to the Nubians,” Father replied. “Make preparations for an assault on our gossiping neighbors.”

“I will speak with Horemheb about this.” Ay concurred. “And Pharaoh, about Nefertiti, you know my daughter loves you. Not your double crown.”

There was a pause the length of two breaths before Father spoke again, “If she loves me as you say, then she will give me a son.”

*****

I am not sure how I got back to my room. I remember sitting behind the pillar long after my father had left. I was stunned by what I heard. When I entered my room, Tia rushed to get me ready for the departure. Everything was a blur while she prepared my face and garments. I don’t even remember our time at the quay as the ferry carrying Tadukhipa’s family departed. It was Meketaten’s news that brought me back into the day’s commotion.

She ran up to me as we were walking back. Her eyes were alight and her demeanor was excitable.

“An, you’ll never believe it. I am a woman now!!!” She was bursting with joy.

I remembered what mother said about Hathor intervening. If mine was being kept from me, I feared what this might mean for Meketaten.

I did not want to bring her mood down. Of course her blood would flow before mine, but I could not help but wonder if Hathor had passed mine onto her. Why else would she appear to me last night of all nights? And Meketaten was only a year older than me, usually still far too young to expect the first bloods. Despite my anxiety, I expressed what joy I could for her, “Meket, that is wonderful.”

“Mother will cut my lock soon. She wanted to wait until after our guests left. Then the slaves will shave my head, and I will get to choose a wig to wear!”

I was only half listening as we walked back to our rooms.

She continued, “There are so many wigs to choose from. Do not tell Mother, but I really like the Nubian style that Tadukhipa wears. Of course, she will not let me wear one like hers. So I think I’ll look for one with lots of plaits in it. All I want to do is swish my hair around and feel it move on my head, so I better not have too many beads at the ends of it! I can see me now smacking myself with a bead! What a vision!” She laughed, “I can’t wait for our next chariot ride to the temple. That way all the people can see me! Do you think we’ll go this afternoon or before dinner? Both maybe! Wouldn’t that be splendid?”

She was laughing when Tia ran up to us, her face flushed and her hair in shambles. I prayed she had not come to tell me she had been dismissed. I had made her late again, and my stomach had twisted into knots this afternoon worrying about it.

“Princesses, come quickly, your mother is about to give birth!”

Meketaten, still reveling in her newfound womanness, replied, “It can take a day for a child to come. Why must we hurry?”

“The Queen has been having pain all morning but has been hiding it. She has great strength. But now the child comes fast. It is almost here. Great Queen requests her daughters.” Tia answered breathlessly.

We followed her at a run to mother’s birthing house. Standing outside, Merytaten was pacing the tiles. Neferneferuaten-Tasherit was with her nurse. She was enjoying walking around in circles as fast as she could and then falling down dizzy in the grass. I wondered if I was that carefree at 3 years of age. Her giggles were the only sound outside of Mother’s room. Neferneferure and Setepenre were left in the nursery, being only 2 and 1 years.

I walked up to Merytaten as a new question arose in me. It was a thought that had been forming since last night. I thought maybe she would know the answer.

“Merytaten, I was hoping I could ask you something?” I began.

Merytaten stopped her pacing and looked at me with a confused expression. Meketaten may talk to our oldest sibling, but I certainly never felt comfortable approaching her. As her empty eyes focused on me, I was reminded of why this was.

When she did not respond, I continued, “I was wondering if you knew anything about our father’s brother? The one who left?”

“You should not be asking those questions,” she replied quickly and began to pace again.

“Why not? Mother said something about the gods leaving around the time he left.”

“Ankhesenpaaten, you need to stop there. He brought down destruction on our father’s house! His name is cursed. He did nothing but make our people suffer.”

“Our people? Aren’t they also his people?”

Merytaten was about to respond when a loud wailing was heard from the birth room. Shouts and cries of anguish erupted behind the closed doors. Chaos broke out around me. Neferneferuaten-Tasherit’s nurse grabbed her and ran out of our eyesight. Merytaten dropped to her knees and furiously prayed. Meketaten grabbed me and started to pull hard.

“Come, An, we must leave now!”

“I don’t understand, what is going on?” I asked fighting with her grip. It was then that Father appeared. He must have been waiting close by, listening for a baby’s cries. His face was without expression as he walked into the birth room. Meketaten tried to pull me again, but I jerked quickly from her grasp and peered through the doors he had left open.

Mother sat in the birthing chair crying uncontrollably. She held a baby in her arms, but it was not moving. In the afternoon light, the baby’s face was blue and its eyes sunken. Pharaoh came up to her and pulled the blanket back which covered the baby’s torso.

His voice was deep, “So, it is a boy then that you have killed.”

“My husband, my lord, he came without a soul. He never took in a single breath.” She stumbled over her words. Her face and mouth were full of tears. Her cheeks were smeared into almost menacing shades of black from the kohl. I would have been frightened if there had not been that uncontrollable quiver in her lips. “I would never kill a child of ours. Everything I do and believe in is for you.”

“It is not me that you serve. This is all for your daughters.”

Mother was choking on her sadness but somehow forced the words out from her lips, “No, husband, I mourn our beautiful boy. I never wanted this. I only wanted to give you what you desire.”

“You have shown me that all you have ever wanted is the double crown for yourself.” His voice rose with each word, and with his last, he slapped mother across the face as hard as he could.

She did not move. Blood flowed down her cheek, but she did not move. She cried but now without sound, her lips parted, and her eyes closed. After a pause, as I watched Pharaoh’s chest heave up and down, a whispered plea emerged from my mother, “My Ankh, I love you.”

Father turned to the servants in the room, “Take this empty shell and throw it into the Nile. It will not be named and given no honors. I never want to see it again.” He then turned to mother, “His ka is on you! This is your fault! May Aten have mercy on you, for I have none anymore.”