The Frenzy Series (Book 2): Frantic (14 page)

He took the steps two at a time and didn’t pause on the landing; he just burst through the door. “Porsch?”

Looking through the darkness, we heard shuffling overhead. “Seriously? Is everyone going to interrupt us tonight?” we heard Roman complain.

He and Dara appeared at the top of the steps. He was naked, except for a tight pair of dark undergarments that hugged his legs, and Dara wore nothing but a white silk sheet. Her hair was a tangled mess, and it was obvious what they had been doing. The tension in my stomach eased. I was so glad it wasn’t her…not my Porschia with him. He could have Dara, but I would kill him if he touched Porschia.

“Where’s my sister?” Ford yelled, louder than necessary. His voice echoed through the tall foyer, bouncing off mirrors and a crystal chandelier that glistened in the dark overhead.

Roman narrowed his eyes and focused them at me. “She’s out with Tage.”

“Where?” I growled.

“Who cares?” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

Ford grabbed a book from the ledge next to him and launched it at the pair of vamps. The spine of the book slapped Roman in the chest before bouncing off, flopping page over page down the steps. The sound of crinkling paper echoed around us. “
I
care. The Elders just banished her. Was that your doing? Did you have her thrown out? Because if you did—”

Ford stopped mid-sentence, staring at the vampire that was slowly descending the steps toward us. “I had nothing to do with this, but I will handle it. You have my word. Now
leave
.”

“No,” Ford gritted out. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead and lip and I heard his teeth grinding against each other.

Enough
. I stepped between Roman and Ford. “What the hell are you doing to him?”

Roman smiled. “Telling him to go home where it’s safe, like a good little boy.”

“Why wouldn’t we be safe? You love the treaty, right?”

“It’s not me who poses a threat to him; it’s his sister. She’s a little emotional tonight.”

I had seen her ‘emotional’, and that wasn’t a good thing for her to be right now. “Where is she?” I asked.

“She’s with Tage, as I said earlier. He’s taking
real
good care of her.” That was it. I’d had enough. I launched myself at Roman and there were fists and grunts, and then one of us tackled the other to the ground in a blur of blood and hissing.

Roman was on top of me, hand positioned to knock me into oblivion, when we heard the noise. He and I turned our attention to the door behind us.

“Porschia?” Roman asked breathlessly.

Her eyes darkened menacingly and her fangs raked her plump bottom lip. She bounced on the bottoms of her feet, ready to do battle.

“Told you it wasn’t safe,” Roman said, hovering above me with a smirk.

Tage grabbed her arms from behind. “You’re okay,” he reassured her.

She shook her head. “I’m not. I’m not. I’mnotnotnotnot. Not. NOT! I’m
NOT
okay. Not OKAY!”

“You just ate. You’re not even hungry. Focus. You aren’t hungry. You know what the blood will do to you. You can’t hold it.” She sniffed the air, her eyes closing and a moan of pleasure pouring from her mouth.

“I
want
it. I want it so bad, Tage.” She turned in slightly to him and he eased his grip as Porschia breathed against his neck. “Can I just have a taste?”

“What the hell is this?” I boomed out. I was going to have to kill Tage, too. Roman laughed, rolling off me so I could stand. “Are you with Tage now?” I asked incredulously.

Porschia began laughing, softly at first and then louder, which wasn’t quite the reaction I expected. Her laughter bubbled out as if she just heard the funniest joke in the world. “We,” she motioned between her and Tage, “are definitely not together. He’s like my brother. He’s like Ford. Right, Ford?” She looked at Ford for confirmation, but Tage was looking at Porschia, mouth agape. He definitely didn’t have brotherly feelings toward her.

Ford looked at me and shrugged. “Sure. I guess.”

“And
he
isn’t bleeding,” she added. “You are.” The happiness was gone. Only accusation punctuated her tone.

I motioned to Roman. “Blame him for the blood, but I wasn’t going to let him talk about you like that.”

“Like what?”

“He insinuated that you and Tage were more than friends or...siblings.”

She shook her head. “You don’t trust me.” Crimson tears filled her eyes. “You’ll never trust me, and you can’t love me if you don’t trust me. Love can’t breathe without trust. It dies without it.”

Red streaks ran down her face. Thick bloody tears. So much sadness.

She was losing it. We’d gone from thoughts of eating me to laughing hysterically to crying in one minute flat. I stepped toward her. “Porsch, it’ll be okay.”

“Like hell it will!” Annnd, now we were back to anger. “Why are you even here?”

Ford cleared his throat. “The Elders know that you’ve turned. At the feast tonight, they announced that you are to be banished from Blackwater.”

“They can’t tell me where to go,” she warned.

“I know, but we just thought you should hear it from us.”

She turned to Roman and glanced at Tage. “They can’t really banish me, right?”

Roman swore under his breath. “Let me get dressed.”

Saul was here. Saul bled. Saul was here. The scent of him. The scent of his blood. The scent. I needed it. I had nowhere to run, except to him. At war with myself, I wanted to pounce on him. I wanted to feed from him. I wanted to run away from him, from this place. I wanted.

Tage held my arms back, but I wanted to tear them away, to hurl him down the steps. He was interfering. No one interfered with Saul.
My
Saul.

Ford. My brother, my baby brother. He brought him. Why was Roman hurting him? I would tear Roman limb from limb. Dara watched passively from above. I would tear her apart along with him.

Banished. I was banished.

They didn’t want me here. I wasn’t welcome.

I didn’t fit in.

This wasn’t my home anymore. It never was.

What was wrong with me?

Why did no one want me?

They thought I cried for no reason, but I had reasons. I had loneliness, despair, greed, selfishness. I wanted to stay. With Saul. I wanted to stay with Saul.

I needed him. I wanted to be with him.

I couldn’t be with him.

Hot tears.

Blood.

Crying blood. My life leaked.

If I pulled Saul to me, I would hurt him. If I hugged my brother, I would hurt him. I would hurt them. I would kill them. I would kill. I killed.

Dead. Death. Despair. Danger.

I was danger.

I was despair.

I was death.

I was undead.

I was cursed.

Cursed. Cursed. Cursed.

W
here will I go?
my eyes asked Tage. He had no answer, only a vow. He would go with me. He would help me. He promised to help me get myself under control.

There was no control. It didn’t exist. It was a ghost. You couldn’t touch it. It was a vapor. It was complete bullshit!

Roman was almost naked as he went back upstairs. Dara was naked save for a sheet. They were relentless. They were passion. They were not death.

“Calm down,” Tage whispered into my ear. His body pressed into mine from behind and a fire ignited. The same fire I found in the forest. He had sparked it then, and he sparked it now. I hated that fire. Saul could see its smoke, feel its warmth.

Saul stared at the fire behind me and clenched his jaw. Hate radiated out from his body and toward me. I would take it. I would take his hate.

I couldn’t have his love, but I could absorb the bad. I was bad.

In the forest, I ate a raccoon. I was full. I was empty.

Empty. Void.

Nothing.

I was nothing. I wanted to be nothing.

I ran fast; fast as lightning to Roman. “End me. Don’t send me away. Just…I want to die. I can’t live like this. I can’t. I don’t
want
to live like this. Help me,” I begged.

Beggar.

His eyes widened.

“Please, don’t think. End me.”

I grabbed hold of his forearms and placed his hands on my neck. We were at the top step, one from the landing. One snap was all it would take. I would land below. I would fall. I wouldn’t hurt. Nothing.

No hunger.

No loneliness.

No death.

Nothing.

“What did you say?” Ford breathed.

I pled with Roman, tears streaming again. “End me.”

Dara’s sheet swished behind her as she retreated. “I wish you would, Roman. I mean, really. Could she
be
any more pathetic?”

A slamming door.

An ending.

His fingers squeezed my throat. One twist.

Tage breathed into our faces. “Do it and die, Roman. I will kill you.”

“You aren’t strong enough to kill me,” he smirked.

Tage never wavered. “End her and find out exactly how strong I am.”

Strong. Weak.

Crushing fingers.

Stretching skin and sinew.

“Please! Please, don’t,” Saul said from two steps down. “Porschia, there are other options. This isn’t it.”

“No there aren’t.”

I couldn’t do this. I was weak.
Weak
. I wasn’t strong. Undead, but not strong. Only the strong survived. The weak begged for death, unable to give it to themselves.

“Please,” I whimpered. Roman pulled my face toward his, only a hair’s breadth apart, he bared his fangs. He would drain me.

Drained.

Empty.

Nothing.

Tage fumed. “Enough!”

Roman looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time, I saw fear. But it wasn’t in my eyes. It was in Roman’s.

He loosened his grasp, ghosting his fingers over the slender column of my throat. Up and down. Up. Down. Smoothing the shards. Calming me. Easing the fear. Removing the mania.

Slowly, I sank to the floor. My legs wouldn’t hold me.

“She needs sleep,” Roman announced nonchalantly. “Deal with her,” he ordered Tage.

Saul and Ford both released a pent-up breath.

Roman continued, “She isn’t going anywhere tonight. Go home.”

Hesitation. They paused. Tage reassured them. “I’ll watch over her. I swear it.”

Saul nodded with warning in his eyes.

Tage met them head-on.

Tension.

Longing.

Anger.

Ford tugged Saul away. I slumped. Bereft. I missed them already. I missed Saul. I missed Ford. I missed life.

Real life. Living with the possibility of dying.

I, too, could die. I could never live again.