The Gamal (38 page)

And how like they made a load of money in the same century off the slaves in Jamaica until slavery was outlawed. And how the whole floor of the castle was laid with rare oak wood at an enormous cost at the time and that marble stairs were put in as well. And how this all happened from 1845 to 1850. When starvation was rife in the whole of West Cork and you’d families dying on the side of the road. And how James’ great-great-grandfather was one of the worstest bastards of landlords in the whole of Ireland. Then they started saying like how they weren’t going to let his great-grandson come back down here and make eejits of us all. That we should burn the foreign occupier out like we done before.

—How did all this make you feel?

—Well like . . . I couldn’t believe it.

—How do you mean, you couldn’t believe it?

—Well. Like James was our friend. A good friend of ours like. We played football with him. He was one of us like. He had nothing to do with anything that happened long ago. And neither had his father.

—OK carry on.

Aslhdjsh as;lk dkslj a a;lsokt tha t a;lsie slkd9ich slitha;t slit dit a a;oit a dit a acoi aosid asoiwei d a;oids a;lskkde3- qpwoe0idns a;l a;ls as;ldife eoieo0 sid iwo. A;osdiikd .doi a;lsoi. Sorry the mother was at the door there and I had to pretend I was typing. She leaves me alone if she thinks I’m typing and doesn’t ask me to be doing stuff or be talking shit to me. Whatever it was I’ll go down to her later. Just not in the mood now. Going back now to lie on the bed now again.

I find reading the court transcripts awful hard but I have to do it. Makes me remember horrible stuff. Nearly a photocopying paper box full. Be thousands of pages if I included the whole lot, and half the time they spent talking about very little of any importance anyway. I’m trying to limit it to what helps me to tell the story. There’s stuff in the trial of people saying how I was obsessed with Sinéad and how I was inappropriate watching her always but that’s crap and has nothing to do with the story. Anyhow, here’s more of Snoozie’s evidence.

—Teesh then like was kinda like congratulating him then, saying he never really knew if he could trust Dinky all along, cos he was such friends with James, but that like he was delighted that he saw things like clearly. How things stood like.

—Sorry, I’m not sure I understand. What do you mean exactly?

—Well like, basically Teesh was saying he was happy they saw eye to eye like . . . like about the Kents like. About James and his father I suppose. That like they didn’t like them. Or hated them. They saw them like as invaders or something still like.

—I see. And Teesh was happy that Dinky was likeminded, was he?

—Yes. Like he thought all along that Dinky was James’ best friend and that was it. He was surprised. And happy like. That Dinky hated James too.

—I see.

I was surprised by the next bit cos I had to keep my eyes closed cos I wanted Snoozie not to know I was hearing all this.

—They went talking about the old times then like again. I could see them through the glass French doors between the room. They’re panelled doors like with like glass with designs on it like. But it was dark in the telly room where I was but they had the lights on in the kitchen so I could see them fairly clear like. Next thing Teesh starts singing ‘Dear Old Skibbereen’.

Knew every word of it. Only thing he ever learned in his life maybe.

—That was beautiful, said Dinky, pure poetry boy.

—Island of saints and scholars, says Teesh.

—And patriots, says Dinky.

—True and brave.

—Patriots all. True and brave.

—OK.

—So then they kind of started hugging each other then like.

—What?

—Ahm . . . like . . . they were fairly drunk and were getting carried away with their stories about the War of Independence and all that stuff like.

—They were hugging each other?

—Well, not exactly hugging like. Teesh kind of grabbed Dinky by the two arms like and he was saying, ‘Are you one of our own? Are you one of our own?’ Dinky says back to him, all serious like, ‘Yes. Yes. I’m one of our own. Yes I am.’

—So they were in a physical embrace, were they?

—Yes. Yes, they were.

—But not a hug.

—No.

—Could you show the court? Do you think you could show the jury if I got one of the guards to help you demonstrate.

—Ahm . . . like . . .

—Don’t be embarrassed. Will you do it for the court?

—Ahm OK, yes. Like OK.

—OK.

I don’t know if the judge was having a laugh to himself or what was he at but anyhow Snoozie grabbed the guard by the arms, and goes, ‘Like this.’ The judge asked then if Teesh did anything with his arms. Then Snoozie tells the baffled blushing guard to grab him back by the elbows. The guard looked up at the judge and the judge gave him the nod to do it. Snoozie and the guard stood there like two lovers in some old play or something, holding each other. The judge roars, ‘Silence,’ then cos a few in the crowd started giggling. ‘That’ll do,’ says the judge and he thanked the guard and told him to go back to where he was standing up at the front of the court looking down at the crowd and the embarrassed face burning off the poor rookie.

—Then they started roaring stuff then like . . . like something like . . . ‘Ireland for ever,’ or something like that.

Actually Dinky said, ‘We were here before the invaders. We’ll be here after them. Our families have been in Ballyronan for generations. We saw them off before and by fuck we’ll do it again.’ ‘You’re a good man, Dinky,’ Teesh goes, ‘You’re a good man.’ Then he roars, ‘For Ireland true and brave,’ and bangs his fist off the table, and Dinky shouts back at him, ‘For Ireland true and brave.’ Anyhow, I’ll let Snoozie’s court transcript carry on.

—I was going to go in and tell them to shut up in case they woke the neighbours but they calmed down then. One of them went to the fridge and got another couple of cans. Ahm, I might just take a drink of water.

—Take your time. You’re doing fine.

Not sure what was in the water but it helped Snoozie string a few sentences together. I think he might have taken a sec while he drank to ask his God for strength. And maybe to actually sound like English was a language he was fluent in. He sat back on his chair and looked up at the sky through the skylight of the court. Chest out. Strength. Got it from somewhere anyhow. He carried on.

—So like, then Dinky goes, ‘Can I trust you?’ ‘With your life,’ Teesh says, ‘With your life.’ Then he says that he has James nearly out of the picture.

—What do you think he meant by, ‘Out of the picture’?

—Well, Teesh asked him if he meant he was going to kill him, and Dinky said no, just out of Ballyronan. Said he’d want nothing to do with Ballyronan after what he’d managed to do.

—After what who’d managed to do?

—Dinky himself.

—OK, carry on.

I’ll take it from here cos I remember it better. Teesh says then,

—Sure he’s done with the place now after the way Sinéad carried on behind his back, and more power to the girl for it.

Then Dinky says,

—Best day’s work I ever done.

—What do you mean? says Teesh.

Next thing Dinky came in the door to make sure myself and Snoozie were asleep. He figured we were in a coma but we were awake as fuck. In the court when Snoozie started getting into it, he started half crying.

—That’s when he started telling about Sinéad . . .

—Are you OK?

—Ahm . . . It’s kinda hard to tell this . . .

—I know it is. Take your time. You’re doing very well. If you want a break at any time, just say so. Would you like a fifteen-minute break now?

—No. I’m OK, thanks.

—Fine, have a drink of water and continue then, in your own time. And tell it chronologically if you can. Do you know what chronologically means?

—No.

—It means as time unfolds. Tell what you heard Dinky tell Teesh in the order that you heard it.

—OK, Your Lordship. Well, Dinky made Teesh swear that he wouldn’t tell a soul about what he was about to tell him.

—OK.

—He said he met the Rascal one night in the toilets of Roundy’s. It was a lock-in like, so there was hardly anyone else around, only a few of the lads.

—What’s a lock-in?

—Like. After hours. When the door is closed. But some customers are still inside drinking. With the lights off like in case the guards would see from outside. After hours like.

—Yes, yes, I understand. So a lock-in is after hours.

—Yes, Your Lordship.

It’s better if I tell it cos the judge was asking him to explain everything and it took for ever so it’s pages and pages of court transcripts. So anyhow. That’s what Dinky said. That he met the Rascal in the toilets of Roundy’s one night late. I remember the same night cos I went into the jacks and Dinky and the Rascal were in there. But it was strange.

—How are the lads?

—How’s the gamal?

—Grand. Dying for a piss.

—Doubt ya boy. Better out than in. I’ll see ya Dinky. And don’t go telling no one no one’s business. She’d have better luck proving that the Earth was flat at this stage anyhow.

I pissed. Dinky stood staring at himself in the mirror for the full duration of my piss and longer. I zipped up and looked at him. Still staring at himself in the mirror he was.

—You all right Dinky boy? says I.

—Fuck off Gamal, says he.

Next thing he runs to the cubicle and starts puking up everything inside him that would come out. I stood listening to him vomiting as I looked at the mirror. The reflection I saw was me. The reflection Dinky saw was him. Now as I’m thinking I’m wondering is there a time. Is there a time when you have to look at yourself and decide what kind of a man you are. Or what kind of a man you’re not. Is there a time when you just have to decide?

—That’s a nice handy bit of pebble-dashing, I said.

—Fuck off Gamal.

Pebble-dashing is when a builder plasters a wall with a mixture of mortar and pebbles. He throws the mixture at the wall trowel by trowel until it’s all covered. But it means vomiting too. Anyhow I did as Dinky asked and I fucked off and thought no more of it until I heard Dinky telling Teesh the whole story. The Rascal had told Dinky about a night a few months before after he’d played a gig in Roundy’s. This is what he told Dinky. That he’d been drinking late after everyone had gone home. It was just the Rascal, Sinéad and Roundy’s wife. Roundy himself wasn’t around the same night.

They had a couple anyway and then Sinéad went out to clean the toilets. Eileen, according to Rascal was very drunk, drinking double brandies she was. So Dinky went on then about how the Rascal said that while Sinéad was cleaning the toilets himself and Eileen started talking about her. The Rascal was saying what a nice girl she was and all, and that the customers loved her and all. Then he said like that it became obvious to the Rascal that Roundy’s wife hated Sinéad. The Rascal said that Roundy’s wife started giving out about her. Saying ’tisn’t as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth and all. And how she thought she was a trollop with her long legs and the perfume on her and that she didn’t trust her one bit with her husband.

Hardest thing in the world to be hearing this and having to pretend to be asleep. Couldn’t even open my eyes cos Snoozie would see. I wanted to put my foot through the wall. I didn’t though. I kept on breathing nice and steady same as a fella if he was asleep.

So Roundy’s wife thought Roundy fancied Sinéad. And that Sinéad looked at him in a way that was a come on. Said that Sinéad wasn’t the nice sweet girl everyone thought she was at all. That she was a trumped up cocky little trollop. Then the Rascal said that he kept filling her glass with the brandy and that Eileen was getting thick out with the drink in her.

—By thick do you mean stupid?

—No. I mean kind of angry like. Getting thick means getting angry.

—OK.

The judge hardly understood a word Snoozie said. That’s why I’m telling it cos we’d be here all day. Plus Snoozie got a lot of stuff ass-ways. But some bits he told fine so I’ll give those bits of the court transcript.

The Little Rascal said like that she was saying that Sinéad was a little bitch and a little whore and a tart and stuff and saying she wasn’t as innocent as she looked. That as far as she was concerned she was trying to tempt Roundy. Trying to lure him like.

—Do you personally think there might have been any truth in that?

—Honestly? No. She was just good-looking. Very, very good-looking but she wasn’t a slut. Maybe Roundy and the wife were having their own troubles but it would have been nothing to do with Sinéad.