The Game Changer (18 page)

Not yet
, I think to myself, but if he freaks out tomorrow because of this, then I will be hurt. I don’t want to ruin the moment, but I have to tell him how I feel. “I want you here with me right now, like this, but not if it means giving up what we have. Last time, you didn’t speak to me for so long.”

I feel his body stiffen, he looks away. He is about to sit up and pull away, but my arms are still wrapped around him and I’m not about to let him go. I take his face in my hands, directing him to look at me. He knows I don’t want him to leave. We still have all night. This time, I won’t let him go that easily. Thankfully, I feel his body relax into mine. He kisses my lips softly, once more.

“JJ, I’m so sorry about how I acted the last time. I was an idiot. I could never lose you. I won’t do that again, but...”

I interrupt, not letting him finish what he was about to say. I don’t want to dredge up the past and I don’t want him to feel as if he has to make this any more than what it is. “Can we just have this one night and keep it to ourselves?”

“Sure, if that’s what you want. You know how much I care about you, right?”

“I do. I feel the same way. Nothing changes, right? Tomorrow things go back to normal?” I need him to reassure me that we will not have a repeat of the last time.

“I promise. Nothing changes. Everything goes back to normal…
tomorrow,
” he answers reassuringly. “So we slip up every now and then, right?” “Right.” I pull him closer until our lips meet again. We have no problem getting back to where we left off before I started this conversation. I can kiss him forever and never grow tired of him. I’m not sure how much time has passed when we finally fall asleep. It just feels so right being in his arms as he gently strokes my hair and face, softly kissing my lips, forehead and eyes.

I feel Luke’s warmth as I suddenly am awakened by the flickering from the light in the foyer and the sound of the TV when the electricity is finally restored. I momentarily slip out of his arms, careful not to wake him, so I can blow out the candles and turn down the volume on the TV. Before lying back down, I sit and watch him for a few minutes while he sleeps. I know then, that I love him. I already miss the feel of his arms around me and I snuggle in close and rest my head on his chest. His arms instinctively wrap around me, holding me tightly. His lips brush the top of my head.

“You okay?” he whispers.

“Perfect,” I answer.

***

(Luke)

We must have heard the jiggling of the keys in the lock. She slips out of my arms and moves to the couch. Even though my eyes are still closed, I know it’s early, not quite daylight. The pounding sound of the rain has finally stopped. I hear David’s footsteps growing closer on the creaking wooden floors. I hear him pause for a few seconds at the entrance to the family room, probably checking on us. I wait for the footsteps to become more distant until finally I hear him on the stairs. I open one eye to peek over to see if she is awake. Propped up on one arm, she is staring at me with a smile on her face.

“Hi. I’m watching you sleep,” she says.

“I wasn’t sleeping, I heard your dad come in. I was pretending to sleep.”

She laughs. “I thought so. I heard him, too. He waved and said go back to sleep, it’s early.”

“What time is it?” I ask.

“A little after six. Can you stay a little longer? I’m not ready for you to leave,” she whispers as she moves down closer to me.

Great, we’re on the same page
, I think. “Me neither,” I say, pulling her to me and resting her head against my chest.

Next time I wake it is to the smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen. Ah, awesome, David is cooking. I look over to see if JJ is still asleep, she must have moved to the couch while I was sleeping. Thank God, I forgot about David being home. I watch her sleep peacefully now, but during the night there were times when she wasn’t so peaceful. Maybe it was the fierce storm that, at times, seemed as if it would blow down the house. She never woke, but tossed and turned as if she was having a nightmare. I was unable to wake her, so I just held her tightly and that seemed to settle her. I wonder if it was the storm or something else.

What is it about her that makes me never want to let her go? I stare at her a few more minutes, letting the shock waves take over my body, like they do every time I’m with her. It’s the first time I am totally content with kissing someone all night long. I’ve never done that before. With
every
other girl, it’s always been the few minutes of foreplay before getting to the good stuff, but with her, it satisfies me just to hold her close and kiss her for hours and hours. I shudder from the chills that run down my spine when thinking of the way her body felt against mine last night. I know I can’t stay here with her all day. It’s already after nine.

I finally make my way to the kitchen. It’s usually easy talking with David, we talk all of the time, but now, I’m nervous; I just spent the night with his daughter. Not that anything happened, but I know in my head, that I would have liked a lot more to happen. Just thinking it is bad enough. Will he notice how much I want his daughter? He is sitting at the table having coffee, reading the paper.

“Hey,” Is all I can come up with.

“Hey, Luke, good morning. Grab some coffee. How was it last night?”

I almost answer,
awesome
, but then I remember who I’m talking to and that’s not what he means. “It was okay, we were goin’ to head over to my house, but the electricity was out, so we decided to stay here. Besides, the street had about three feet of water; we would have had to swim across. I fell asleep, but I think the lights went out at some point. I heard the TV go off. How ‘bout you?” So, it was a little white lie and I need to slow down, I’m talking way too fast.

“You had to see it in AC, the water was so high. Once the tide came in, it was so much worse. The waves were crashing over the boardwalk. I’ve never seen anything like it. Thanks for staying with her, I hate leaving her alone at night.”

“I wanted to stay with her.  You don’t have to worry; I think she’s fine when you’re workin’. It’s usually on weekends and she’s out with her friends anyway. De is usually with her, either here or at our house.”

“I know. I just worry about her in general. God, she looks so much like Olivia, except she’s quiet like me.” He laughs nervously; he has concern in his voice. “She seems like she’s doing okay, right?”

Funny, David never seems quiet to me. He’s always talking, but after I think about it, maybe they are alike. “JJ is quiet around people she doesn’t know, but definitely not around us.” I laugh. “No, but, seriously, everybody in school likes her, especially the guys, but don’t worry,
I’ll keep a watch on that for you.
” I’m joking with him, but in my head I am serious. This is the part I’m going to have trouble with, especially, after last night.

“Thanks.” He laughs. “She loves you guys. I just worry about her; I think she keeps a lot in.”

I’m debating whether to bring it up, I’m not sure if I should, but I have to know. “David, does she ever have nightmares?”

He gives me a worried, nervous kind of laugh. “Nothing compared to what she used to have. It was horrible. Thank God she never remembers in the morning. I would hear her screaming, I’d run into her room in the middle of the night, and just hold her till she quieted down. It never woke her, though. Why, did something happen last night?”

“I’m not sure… nothing like that. There was a point where she was restless, tossing and turning. She seemed frightened, she didn’t scream or anything. I tried to wake her, but couldn’t. I just put my arm around her and she settled down. It didn’t even last a minute; she was fine the rest of the night. I wasn’t sure if it was the storm or something else?” I question.

“I’d bet it was the accident. I don’t know if that will ever go away, but she doesn’t seem to remember in the morning. I just wish she didn’t have to go through it at all, subconsciously or not.”

“Me, too,” I agree. “I really do think she’s doing great, compared to when she first moved in.” I laugh. I want David to know how far she has come, considering what she has gone through. “And, man, have you seen any of her recent art work? It’s unbelievable! There’s a lot of her work displayed around school. I can pick it out right away, now, without even having to look to see if she signed it. She loves her Art class and Mr. Collier, her teacher,” I add enthusiastically. “I love watching her sketch.” I stop myself, realizing I have said it out loud as I catch the strange way David is looking at me. I’ve probably said too much. Well, if he didn’t think anything before, I’ll bet he does now. 

He laughs. “Thanks, Luke. That actually makes me feel better. I’ve seen a little of her work this year,
she is good
.  I think she shares more of that with you, though.”

Before I give away my secrets, I change the subject to a safer one, sports. “I told you we just got back a couple of weeks ago from the Wood Bat Showcase, right?”

“Yeah, that’s cool.”

“Mikey was awesome. You’ve got to see him hit! We go to the National Underclass Showcase next month, over Christmas break. That should be cool.”

“Man, you guys. I can’t wait to catch your games this season. You hungry?”

“Always. By the way, you’re pasta was awesome last night,” I reply.

“You should come into the restaurant one night. I’ll cook for you,” he says, fixing me a plate by the stove. “Oh, look who’s finally up. Good morning, Sweetie.”

“Hey, Dad, how was it last night?” she asks while looking at me.

“Hey, JJ,” I say casually as I glance down at the sports page. I’m having a hard time taking my eyes off her. This is going to be much harder than I thought. I’m glad David is heating up breakfast; food is always a good distraction for me. The three of us sit around, eat, and talk for a while. Finally, David leaves the room to shower.

JJ walks past me while she clears the plates from the table. I pull her into my lap and kiss her. “Sorry, but I’ve been dying to do that since you walked in the room. JJ, I gotta tell you, I’m goin’ to have a real hard time goin’ back to normal after last night.”

“Me, too, but we have to. This is between us, right? I mean, I don’t like keeping this from De. She asked me straight out after the Alexa incident a few weeks ago if there was anything going on between us, I told her, no.”

“There was nothing going on a few weeks ago,” I answer. “I know what you mean, though; she pretty much asked me the same thing. You’re right, let’s just keep it between us. I’m not up for everyone adding their two cents about it. You know what I mean? I feel like everything about me is out there for everyone to see and analyze. Not that I’m complaining, I’m lucky, but I want to at least keep this between us. I really need my friend right now.” I count on her more than she knows. She makes me feel normal and she knows
almost
everything about me. I have to lighten the mood. “So what, if I like kissing you every now and then, right?”

“It’s always all about you, isn’t it?” she teases as she gives me a kiss.

“Yeah, it sucks for you, doesn’t it?” I tease back. “Seriously, though, you’re probably going to be this famous artist way before anyone even knows who I am. I’ll be visiting you at some art show somewhere and you’ll be like, ‘Oh, I’m sorry, who are you again?’”

“The artist thing sounds good, but I don’t think I could ever forget you,” she says.

“You better not. JJ, if I start acting like an ass again, talk to me about it. I don’t want to ever go that long without talkin’ to you again.”

“Me, neither.”

I don’t want to leave, but I have to, it’s getting late. I turned my phone off earlier because Mikey was driving me crazy, he must have texted me a hundred times. “I don’t want to leave, but I have to go. Mikey’s waiting for me, we’re supposed to work out and hit some balls today.” I know she is disappointed, so am I. “Walk me out?”

“Sure.” She takes my hand and walks me to the door.

I lean down to kiss her goodbye. I want to close the door and go back to the family room to pick up where we left off last night, but I don’t. “I guess, I’ll see you later?”

“You will. See ya,” she calls out to me as I near the curb, “Luke, I had fun last night!”

I turn around to give her a smile, then trip down the curb. I see her laughing at me.
Yep, this girl’s killing me,
I think to myself as I enter my house.

My mom is in the kitchen. I realize I’m still smiling. “Hey, Mom.” I kiss her on the cheek.

“Good morning, or should I say afternoon. Sleep late?” she asks.

“David made breakfast, we were sitting around talking,” I try to sound casual.

“Mikey called three times, please call him back before I kill him.”

“Tell me about it, I shut my phone off.” We both laugh.

“You seem to be in a good mood this morning.” The ways she says it is more of a question than a statement. My mom knows me. She wants more info.

“What? I’m always in a good mood.” I laugh.

“Uh, huh. Anything you want to talk about?”

Actually I do want to talk about it. I have always been able to talk to my mom about girls. I’m sure most of it, she probably would rather not have heard, but she is always a trooper about it and listens anyway. I guess I’m pretty open that way.