Authors: L. M. Trio
(Jesse)
Thankfully, as the weeks pass, the curious stares and whispers seem to settle down. The first few days after the winter recess were hard for me. I wasn’t used to people paying so much attention to me. I felt as if people were scrutinizing every little move we made. Everyone is always into Luke’s business and I’m used to going about my day mostly unnoticed.
De and Luke’s birthdays are quickly approaching; they’re barely eleven months apart. I’m trying to plan something in the middle of both dates so we can celebrate them together. I meet up with Mikey during his Study Hall to get his opinion for all of us to have dinner at my dad’s restaurant. He thinks it’s a great idea, we decide to make it one week after De’s birthday and a week before Luke’s.
“I’ll make it for the Saturday after you get back from the pitcher-catcher thingy you’re going to,” I say casually.
He laughs at my choice of words. “Okay, JJ, make it for the Saturday after our pitcher-catcher thingy,” he mocks me.
“What? You know what I mean. I forget what it’s called,” I answer back.
“JJ, do you even have a clue?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“You do know how big this is, right?”
“The Pitcher-Catcher thing?”
“That. Baseball. Everything. You do know how good your boyfriend is, right?”
“Of course. How could I not know? You guys make a point of telling me all the time how great you are,” I joke.
“Yeah, but I’m not sure you realize how great.” He laughs. “Did you ever Google his name?” he asks as if he knows something that I don’t.
“Google his name? What do you mean?”
He chuckles. “Do you ever Google a celebrity or someone like that?”
“Of course.”
“Do me a favor, when you get home, Google, Luke DiAngelo.”
“Okay, whatever. Anyway, I’ll tell my dad to reserve a table for the six of us. It’ll be fun. It’s really nice there.”
“Yeah, sounds good; it’ll be a good time.”
When I get home from school I run the idea past my dad, he also thinks it’s a great idea. He’s looking forward to us visiting the restaurant. We also talk about the conversation I had with Mikey. I mean, I know baseball is a big deal. Guys are always coming by the house to meet with him and Mikey. We talk about it all the time, but, he did make me curious.
“Well, Honey, it’s big. I’m into sports, so if you’re a sports fan, you’ll know who he is.”
I finish up my homework and as I wait for Luke to come over, my curiosity gets the best of me. I sit at the computer in our spare room and Google his name. It’s kind of shocking to see the whole page full of articles, interviews and videos. I click on a few articles and videos; mostly, all claiming his status as a top MLB prospect. I have a better understanding of what he means when he say’s everyone is always watching every move he makes, weighing in on everything he does. He’s really not exaggerating. Next, I Google Mikey. Same thing. So, this really does go way beyond Bay Point. I guess I already knew that, but seeing it and reading it, makes it seem more real. I’m so engrossed in what I’m doing, that I don’t hear Luke sneak up behind me.
“What are you doin’?” he asks, leaning over me, resting his chin on my head, causing me to jump out of my seat.
“Googling your name. Mikey and I were talking about it in school today.”
“Oh you were, were you? So what did you find out?” he asks teasingly as he nudges the side of my neck.
“That you’re a big deal,” I say, laughing as he tickles me.
“Didn’t I tell you that the first day I met you?” he teases.
“Oh, that’s right you did. You’re so full of yourself.” I give him a peck on the cheek. “I wonder what would come up if I typed in my name. Probably nothing, I’m not famous like you,” I joke.
“Probably not, but that’s okay. I love you just the way you are,” he jokes as his lips make their way down my neck.
“Let’s see anyway,” I say, suddenly distracted by him starting to kiss me.
“I missed you today, come sit with me,” he whispers in my ear and continues to kiss me as he tries to guide me back to the couch with him.
I can’t help but feel that he is purposely trying to distract me or stop me from playing on the computer. “What is it?” I ask, staring into his eyes.
“What’s what? I told you. I missed you today. How was the rest of your day? Did you finish your painting for class?” He is definitely trying to distract me.
“Are you trying to change the subject? Why do you not want me to Google my name?” I ask more seriously as I sit back down at the computer and begin to type in my name.
He kneels down beside me, his expression changing to serious as he takes my hand from the keyboard. “I’ve done it before and I don’t know if you want to see it. Or, if you’re ready.”
As I glance at the screen there are two articles with my name highlighted. The first being the article about the accident and the other being my mom’s obituary. My hands begin to shake and I can feel my eyes begin to well up. Luke pulls me close to him as he’s about to close out the page.
“Wait. Stop. I want to see it. Really.”
“No, babe. You don’t have to see that.”
“Luke, I don’t remember much about it. I’ve only overheard a few things. Please.”
“Maybe we should talk to David; let’s see what he has to say.” His voice trembles as he clenches his jaw tight.
I shake my head. I do not want to bring this up to my dad. For one, I don’t want him to have to read this online; and two, he probably won’t want me to, but for some reason, I feel I like have to read it.
“I’m not sure if you should. What do you know about it?” he asks as he lifts me off the seat, sits down, then sits me on his lap and wraps his arms tightly around my waist.
“Not much. Just that it was some guy rushing home from work. I overheard that he spent a couple days in the hospital with minor injuries. I need to do this. Just hold me.”
I begin to read and I learn that the man, age forty-four, named Thomas Heffler, had hit our car when he ran a red light as he was racing home from work. He hit the driver’s side door, head on, while doing seventy miles per hour, twenty-five miles per hour over the speed limit. My mom was killed instantly on impact and they needed the
Jaws of Life
to free her. I was originally listed as critical, and then upgraded to stable condition. Charges were expected to be filed for reckless driving and vehicular homicide. I’m unable to stop myself from shaking; my hands trembling as the warm tears stream down my face. I regret doing this, but am unable to stop myself from wanting to know more. I feel the way I did then, not wanting to move forward, just wanting to crawl back in bed, but then I feel Luke’s arms tighten around me.
“Are you okay? I don’t like to see you like this,” His eyes also misting. “C’mon, JJ, come sit with me on the couch.”
“No, Luke. I need to know what happened to him,” I reply as I type his name in the box. Within seconds, I have my answer. No jail time. Just community service, fines, probation and six-month driving suspension. “That’s it?” I say bitterly, hardly able to believe that he took my mom’s life and only lost his license for six months. Once again, I begin to cry softly as Luke clears the screen on the computer and brings me with him to the couch.
“I’m so sorry, JJ. I’m sorry you lost your mom and had to go through that. It must be a horrible feeling. You’re the strongest person I know, you’re going to be okay. I know it’s hard for you. I can’t even begin to imagine how it must feel.”
When I begin to settle myself down, I start to apologize for losing it in front of him, but he stops me mid-sentence. “Don’t even think of saying you’re sorry to me. Anytime, you ever feel you need to get it out; scream, cry, whatever... I’m here for you. You know that, right?”
All I can do is nod my head as I curl up on his lap. He gently strokes my hair and rubs my back. He continues holding me tightly in his arms. Slowly, I begin to feel safe again. I’m half asleep when I hear my dad enter the room.
“Hey, I just wanted to say goodnight. Is she sleeping?” my dad asks Luke.
“Yeah, I think she just dozed off. David, is it alright if I stay here tonight? She had a rough night. I want to be here if she wakes up,” he whispers.
“What’s going on?” my dad asks with concern.
“She read about the accident online. I tried to stop her. I wanted her to talk to you first, but, she insisted.”
“My God, is she alright?”
“I think so, she cried, we talked. She finally fell asleep. I need to be here if she wakes up. I can’t leave her, I told her I would be here for her.”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks, Luke. You sure she’s okay?”
“She’s strong,” I hear Luke whisper.
The next time I wake it must be the middle of the night. I jump suddenly and feel scared. I must have scared Luke since he jumps, too. He has to be uncomfortable. I’m still curled on his lap. He’s in a sitting position, sleeping with his head resting on the back of the couch.
“Hey, babe, are you okay?” he asks sleepily.
“I’m okay, but you don’t look like you are. Why don’t you head home? You look uncomfortable and we have school tomorrow. Really, I’m fine.”
“Me, too,” he answers as he kicks his sneakers off and stretches out on the couch. He carefully lays me along side of him and rests my head on his
chest. Again, I fall asleep, this time in my favorite position, my head resting against his chest, listening to the soft sound of his beating heart with his arms tightly around me.
(Jesse)
“JJ, what time should we leave tonight?” De asks excitedly.
“I’m thinking around seven. I think Mikey said Megan was working till five,” I answer.
“Oh, yeah, I forgot she is coming. Can you believe he is still with her? What’s that about? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him last longer than a few weeks with someone. Do you think they belong together?” De asks curiously.
“De, she’s a nice girl. You have to admit. Not like the tramps he’s usually with.”
“She is nice. That’s my point, why is she with him? He’s a jerk!” she jokes.
“Yes, he can be sometimes... but, maybe that’s a good thing... that he’s with her, right?” Funny, as much as she cares about Timmy, she is always so worried about Mikey and Megan.
“I guess,” she doesn’t sound enthused.
The six of us are looking forward to dinner at the restaurant and I think my dad is as excited as we are. We’re thinking we may go to CJ’s after dinner. De and I have never been there, but the boys think they can get us in. One of Luke’s favorite cover bands is playing tonight. He loves Springsteen and they play a lot of his music.
While De and I are watching re-runs of
Friends
, Mikey and Luke come bursting into the rec room from practice. “What time are we leavin’?” Luke asks breathlessly as he plops down next to me.
“Ugh, why are you so sweaty? It’s winter!” I screech as he rubs his sweaty head on my arm.
“After practice we decided to race each other home,” he says, laughing as he uses my arm as a towel.
“Who won?” De asks.
“Me,” they answer at the same time.
“What time?” Luke asks again, dripping all over me.
“We were thinking about seven,” I say as I kick him off the couch, literally, using my feet. “Do you think we’ll be able to go to CJ’s after?” I ask, laughing as he falls on the floor.
“
We…
” Mikey says pointing at himself, Luke and De. “...
will be able to go to CJ’s
. I’m not sure about you...
You… look twelve
,” he adds, pointing at me.
“
Right now
... she looks twelve
...
but, when she’s all dressed up, she looks at least fourteen
,
” Luke chimes in. “People probably think I’m a pedophile.” He’s amused with himself.
“First of all, you’re barely even a year older than me. Second, I hardly look fourteen, and third, I can’t help that you’re big and goofy,” I answer back sarcastically.
I start screaming and laughing because Luke pulls me down on the floor, tickling me as he continues to rub his sweaty head on me. It takes me a while to realize that Deanna is on her cell and has a concerned look on her face. Mikey’s left the room. I motion for Luke to follow.
“Is everything alright?” I ask after she ends her call.
“Timmy. He can’t make it tonight. They had to take his grandmother to the hospital. She lives in Delaware and him and his mom drove down. They’re running tests and they are staying the night.”
“That’s a shame. Will she be okay?”
“They think she may have had a stroke. She’s talking, but is having trouble remembering things... Damn, I feel so guilty. I feel bad for him, but I’m disappointed. I was really looking forward to tonight,” she says as Mikey and Luke walk back in the room.
“De, it’s no problem. We’ll reschedule.” I try to make her feel better.
“No way. Everyone is looking forward to tonight. Even David has been talking about it… he’ll be expecting you guys.”