The Game Changer (44 page)

Mikey nods in agreement, but it’s too late. We both turn in Luke’s direction at the same time, horrified.

*
**

(Luke)

Blake Christiansen? Really? I guess she’s fuckin’ over me already. I can play that game, too. I know I’m out of my mind, but I don’t care. This is what I wanted, right? To end things. This is the perfect time to put the nails in the coffin. End things once and for all…
make her hate me.
  That’s what I want, right? Why not? I hate myself.

I pull Alexa aside, sweet talkin’ her. She’s so fuckin’ easy. I begin to kiss her. I hear JJ scream my name, it startles me at first. Then I follow through with my revenge. As I’m leaving with Alexa, I see JJ out of the corner of my eye twist off her ring and wind up for the throw. She nails me in the back of the head… hard! As drunk as I am, I still have enough sense to think… she has good form, my pitching lessons paid off.

***

(Jesse)

Everything happens so fast, my head is spinning from the drinks I had quickly consumed, but mostly because Luke is making out with Alexa! Her arms are tightly wrapped around his neck while he holds his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. I feel everyone’s eyes turn to me. My own eyes begin to glaze over, not believing what I’m seeing. I can hear myself yell, “Luke! What are you doing?!” In the haze, I can see De across the room, looking horrified. Mikey drops his arms away from me and turns towards Luke. Luke stops instantly when he hears my voice, turning to look at me with eyes I don’t recognize. He grabs her hand, while staring me down with hate in his eyes. He leads her towards the front door. I stand there frozen, horrified, not knowing what is happening. My world is collapsing once again. I twist the ring off my finger and fling it at him, hitting him in the back of the head. He stops in his tracks, but doesn’t turn to face me. The ring falls to the floor. Mikey follows behind him.

My friends supportively form a circle around me, I’m shaking uncontrollably. Billy is next to me with his arm around me, I faintly hear him telling me to calm down; everything will be okay. Next, De rushes over, handing her tray to Cathy. She puts her arms around me and cries with me. “I’m so sorry, JJ. You know that is not him right now. He loves you so much.” 

Suddenly, all I can think about is my mom and losing her. What could be worse than that, right? I brush away the tears with the back of my hands. I’m not going to give Alexa’s friends the satisfaction of knowing that he broke me down. That’s what they have been waiting on for two years. I stand straight, grabbing a drink from De’s tray and chug it down.

“I’m okay, really. Go. You’re working.” She asks if I’m sure, I nod as she walks away, glancing back to check on me. “I’m fine,” I mouth to her.

***

(Luke)

Alexa is all over me once we reach the parking lot. We make our way to her car. I ignore Mikey, preaching in my ear throughout the parking lot. I slam the car door shut in his face and tell her to drive off. Nice girl… doesn’t care about driving drunk.
Now this is the kind of girl a felon like me belongs with
, I think in my distorted mixed up head. Thankfully, my mom and dad aren’t in the kitchen when we arrive at my house. I pull her up the steps, into my room. As we begin to rip each other’s clothes off, she has to go and open up her big mouth and talk.

“Why won’t you look at me?” she asks while she roughly unbuttons my pants and begins to lower my zipper.

At that moment, I realize my eyes are squeezed shut so tight that I’m giving myself a headache. I can’t look at her. Not giving a shit about her feelings, I answer honestly as I slowly open my eyes and stare at the wall. “Cause you’re not
her
and I’m pretendin’ you are.” Who am I trying to kid? There’s only one person I ever want to be with. If I can’t have her, I don’t want anyone else.

“Luke, I don’t care. You know how I feel about you. Give me a chance. I’ll make you forget her, at least for tonight,” she pleads as she reaches for me.

I’m already pulling my shirt back over my head, while shoving her blouse into her hands. “Get dressed. It’s not goin’ to happen tonight
or any other night
. Like I said,
you’re not her
... you need to go.”

I walk into my bathroom and close the door. I wait till I hear my bedroom door slam shut and the sound of her feet flying down the steps. I lean over the toilet and begin to throw my guts up as tears stream down my face.

***

(Jesse)

Billy and Cathy are trying to make me laugh. I smile, trying to keep up the charade that I’m okay. I can see Mikey pushing through the crowd to reach me. Luke’s not with him. I hold up my hand to stop him. If he touches me, I will break down all over again. I mouth, “I’m fine,” to him. He shakes his head, understanding and goes to stand with his friends. I watch him pace around, running his hands through his hair.

I have to get away from everyone. They are coddling me, trying to make me feel better. In a drunken haze, I make my way to the side bar where I had met up with Blake earlier. He’s still sitting in the same spot, martini in hand. “Look, who’s back!” he says excitedly, his arm slides around my waist, pulling me towards him. The pretty bartender appears as he hands her another twenty. She soon is back with that same pitcher, filling up shot glasses. “Did I see Goldenboy a few minutes ago?” he asks, trying to bait me, as he usually did in class, with his sly good looking, I-can-get-away-with-anything, look.

“Me and Goldenboy are no more!” I slur as I take the shot glass from his hand and throw it back, slinging my arm around his shoulders.

“Cool. It’s about time. You’re too young to be tied up for the rest of your life.”

“Yep. Let’s change the subject,” I agree, downing the chaser, trying to rid the lump from my throat.

“You got it.”

I feel his warm hand resting on my waist, caressing my side and back with his fingers. Wanting to erase Luke from my mind, I’m sending him signals that I am into this, too. With my arm still slung over his shoulder, I softly brush the side of his face and neck with my hand. He places his hand on my chin, turning my face towards his. I begin to make out with him, without caring who witnesses it. Suddenly, I feel a heavy hand tightly squeeze my upper arm, tugging at me.

“Let’s go,” I hear Mikey say angrily, pulling me away.

“Yo, man, what’s your problem?”  Blake protests as I stand there in shock, my mind muddled.

Mikey stares him down. “Right now, you’re my problem and I’m gonna be your problem if you don’t back off!” He is hurting my arm as he pulls me along, not loosening his grip. De is waiting by the front doors. I won’t look at either of them as they talk about me as if I’m not here.

“You’ll take her home?” I hear her ask. “Stay with her until I get there... David won’t be home for a few more hours.” 

I’m glad he doesn’t say anything as he puts me in the passenger side of his car and slams the door shut as he angrily gets in the driver’s seat and shoves the keys in the ignition. I can vaguely hear him swearing under his breath. It seems much later than it actually is. It’s hard to believe how your whole life can change in such a short amount of time. You think I’d be used to it by now. I throw my head back on the headrest and close my eyes. It feels like Mikey is spinning us in circles.

“You alright?” he asks angrily, but with concern.

“I’m dizzy,” I answer.

“Shit, JJ, how much did you drink?”

“A lot,” I answer, dizzily, still keeping my eyes closed.

“Looks that way,” he mumbles.

I think it may have been a few minutes later, but, to be honest; I’m in and out of it. I hear him again swear under his breath. I open my eyes, we are on our street. Alexa’s car is parked in front of Luke’s house. I lose it. I begin to cry uncontrollably as Mikey pulls into my driveway. My legs are so weak that I can’t get out of the car. Knowing where I hide my key, Mikey opens the front door and practically has to carry me to my room.

I continue to sob as I try to get answers from him. “How could he do this to me? Kissing her in CJ’s was bad enough, but how can he bring her to his house? How can he be sleeping with her if he loves me?” I slur as I get to my feet and walk towards my window.

Mikey follows me, turning me away from the window towards him. He holds me tightly. “He’s messed up bad right now, JJ. He doesn’t know what he’s doin’. He loves you, you know that,” he says as he holds my head to his chest. “I’m sorry this happened,” he whispers.

I hold tightly to him, unable to comprehend what is happening. “How can he do this to me? Is it me? What is wrong with me Mikey? Am I not enough? I’m sure he told you... What is it? He said I was needy. He said he didn’t need me... Is that why?” I plead.

He holds my face delicately in his hands, lifting my face so that our eyes meet. “Do
not
think there is anything wrong with you. This is about him. Regardless of what he is going through, he should not have done this to you tonight. You don’t deserve this, you’re hurting, too.”

“Why would he run to her, what is it about her?”

“There’s nothing about her. You have it all over her… in every way,” he says softly as he leans down to kiss my cheek. With my mind still clouded by the alcohol, I turn my head, meeting his innocent kiss with my mouth, I begin to kiss him deeply, need to feel close to him, the one person who is closest to Luke, in some way, feels comforting for me to hold onto. He responds to my kiss, my hands pull at his shirt, lifting it over his head, I let it drop to the floor, I’m kissing him fiercely and he continues to respond. Impulsively, I remove my own shirt. I run my nails down his back as I push him back towards my bed.

Suddenly, he pushes me away. I wrap my arms around his neck and try to kiss him again. He pulls his head back and grabs my wrist with his hands. “JJ, stop,” he says sternly. He reaches down, picks my shirt up off the floor and hands it to me, averting his eyes towards the wall. Embarrassed, I quickly put it on and sit down on my bed with my arms wrapped around my legs. “JJ, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why not? He doesn’t want me.” He sits down next to me, pulling his shirt over his head while rubbing my back.

“And you...
don’t want me.
We are all screwed up right now. It sucks. Everything is really fucked up. It’s gonna be okay, though,” he says, trying to comfort me as well as himself. I curl up in my bed. He pulls the covers over me, tucking me in while he continues to sit by my side, patting my back, telling me everything will work out.

“I’m sorry, Mikey, for kissing you. I know you love her,” I whisper as the room spins around and I drift in and out of sleep.

I’m restless and sick and not sure how much time has passed when I hear Deanna whispering, “Is she okay?”

“I’m not sure. She’s tossing and turning, she jumps every now and then. Every time I doze off, she scares the hell out of me.”

“Thanks for staying with her. How much did she drink?”

“She said a lot... and I think she was right,” he answers. I can feel De’s hand brush the side of my cheek.

“I’m so mad at him for doing this to her, Mikey. I know I should be supporting him, but how could he hurt her this way. She’s been through enough in her life.”

Before I can hear his response, I jump out of bed, my stomach finally getting the best of me. I run into the bathroom.

“Go ahead. Go home. I’ll stay with her,” I hear her say as she follows me in the bathroom. They continue to whisper, believing I can’t hear.

“Alexa’s car was at the house when we pulled up. It freaked her out and, to be honest, me, too. I can’t believe he’d do that,” I hear him say to her.

“It’s not there now,” she answers.

De rubs my back as I lean over the toilet, dry heaving, unable to rid myself from the alcohol that has taken over my body. I curl up in a ball on the bathroom floor. De props herself against the wall and stretches out beside me, placing my head in her lap.

“Two things I’ll never ever do again… Fall in love... and drink,” I whisper as I once again drift off.

“Yes, you will,” she says quietly, brushing my hair away from my face.

***

(Luke)

My dad must have heard the commotion of Alexa running from the house. He enters the bathroom, finding me on the floor, leaning over the toilet, my head inches from the bowl. “Hey buddy, everything is going to be okay,” he says quietly while rubbing my back, just as he did when I was a little boy with the stomach flu. After, what seems to feel like losing most of my insides, he guides me back to my bed and sits next to me with his arms wrapped around me.

“Dad, I’m sorry. I screwed everything up so bad… I don’t know what to do... I can’t fix it this time. Are you ashamed of me?” I ask; finally breaking down, water flowing uncontrollably from my eyes like a waterfall.

My dad holds me tightly as I continue to let out what I’ve been holding in for the last few weeks. “No way, we love you and are proud of you. What happened was an accident. You’re going to be alright, you’ll get through this. You’re a good boy, Luciano, you always have been.”

“I destroyed JJ tonight, she’ll hate me forever… You know how much I love her, right Dad? I’m not a good person,” I ramble.