The Gate (Dark Path Series) (12 page)

“I never kept my nature hidden. I keep it separate.” He sounded more disgruntled than angry.

“Then explain to me this other life you have. I want to know everything about you.” She rested her head on his shoulder, waiting for him to start, to say anything. “Can we hurry? I think my butt’s asleep.”

He chuckled, tapping the same place she’d just mentioned. “I think this conversation is better suited in my bedroom.” He took her hand, heading in that direction.

“You’re not going to try to seduce me in order to get out of talking?” Her core became damp at the idea of rolling around or being tied up by him.

He snuck a peek over his shoulder. “Control yourself, Miss Walsh. You’ll get the reward you deserve.”

Chapter Eleven

When she expected Max to share his story, she’d thought they would sit on his bed together. They did, but she sat between his legs with him leaning on the headboard, cushioned by a pillow. He gave her kisses, deep, luscious ones that had her close to begging for him to take her—however, he didn’t push her on the bed to have his wicked way with her.

Stopping with the mouth play, he nuzzled her hair. “I first visited Heaven’s Gate when I was sixteen. It was a BDSM club catering to many, but as long as one paid the price, they allowed anyone in.”

“They let underage kids in?” she asked, stunned. She had no idea teenagers would be interested in bondage or such depraved acts.

His chest rumbled as he chuckled. “No, my dear. Sex clubs are definitely over twenty-one. I was able to get in because I was with someone who had connections.”

“Your twenty-one year old girlfriend?” She gagged.
Why in the hell would a woman that age want to be with a sixteen year old?

“Yes. Her parents and the owners were friends, and she was close with their daughter. Marjorie, my girlfriend at the time, came into my life when I needed her.” A sigh left him. “I didn’t have any sense of direction. I guess I rebelled as most boys do at that age. My father was still devastated by the death of my mother years later. He lost himself in his work, cutting himself off from Daniel, Cameron, and me. Daniel didn’t care because he was away at college, but I started hanging out with the other boys from my prep school who were spoiled asses. We did things that should’ve gotten us thrown in jail. Cameron didn’t fare well either, and instead of me helping him adjust, I ignored him because I thought he was a nuisance. Most younger brothers are, aren’t they?”

She smiled over the fond tone in his voice. She could not imagine how devastated he must have been when his brother died. She wanted to ask about him, but it wasn’t the time. “How old were you when you lost your virginity? Was it at the club with your…girlfriend?” Something like jealousy flared in her chest.

“No. Marjorie wasn’t my first. By then I had more than a few, shall we say experiences under my belt. My first time was thirteen.” Dropping his chin on her shoulder, he rocked her softly. “When was yours?”

“Don’t laugh. I was nineteen. It happened in my dorm room with one of the football players. It was uneventful. The next time was better.” She closed her eyes, waiting for some snide comment from him. The two men she had sex with before Max were pathetic. She was surprised she could remember those times at all. The night before, however, would be imbedded deep in her memory, probably her soul.

“My first time was pretty unsatisfactory. All my sexual experiences leading up to Marjorie and what she introduced me to at Heaven’s Gate were dull in comparison. I’m thankful every day that she snuck me in and allowed me to meet the Wells.”

She didn’t like how he held Marjorie in such high esteem, but she didn’t have any right to get upset or allow her jealousy to grow.
She
was in Max’s life. His ex-girlfriends—however many—were not. That had to count for something.

“Who are the Wells?” She settled deeper into his embrace.

“Irene and Curtis Wells once owned Heaven’s Gate. I met them that night. I expected them to throw me out, but they didn’t. They gave me a tour of everything. I later found out they were training Marjorie to be a dominatrix. Shocked the shit out of me, but I was also curious. I didn’t have any idea what it entailed. That night I was allowed to watch while she practiced her craft. It was a thing of beauty. I lasted all of five minutes before I shot off a load in my pants.”

“That must have been embarrassing.”

“It was.” He nuzzled the side of her throat. “Instead of Curtis or Irene making fun of me, Curtis took me into his office, letting me change into a spare pair of pants of his. He sat me down, and we had a talk. He was open about the inner workings of his club, said I was much like him when he was my age. He invited me back but only if I accompanied him or Irene while I was there. I accepted, and every Saturday night I would go, usually with Marjorie, to observe the action in the rooms. Then three months later, Curtis asked if I wanted to be trained. I said yes. He would train me as long as I kept up my grades up in school, stopped carousing, and buckled down and became a man. I had to obey him and Irene at all times, no questions asked. I accepted. For the next three years, they taught me everything about being both a dominant and submissive.”

“How soon after did you start practicing your craft?” A million questions rolled around in her head. She found his story fascinating, wishing she could write it all down. “What happened to Marjorie?”

“A few months after my eighteenth birthday, Marjorie and I decided we were better off as friends. It gave me the chance to not be tied down to someone while I practiced. No feelings hurt that way.”

“That’s why you haven’t had any long lasting relationships?” Intrigued yet concerned by his answer, she peered up at him.

“Yes. Most of the women I dated flipped out when I approached them about my preferences. I keep my true desires and wants under control with my lovers then unleash everything that’s been bottled up at my club, The Gate. It’s a way to keep me balanced. I’m there three times a week.”

Nibbling on her lip, she blinked back the sudden dampness forming in her eyes. Was she destined to become one of his ex-lovers, tossed aside because he thought she wouldn’t be open to embracing his taboo nature?

“You’re too quiet. Have I shocked you?” He kissed her shoulder.

She drew her knees to her chest. Max dropped his hands over hers, holding them tightly. “Not at all.” She sniffed, hiding her dismay. “I, uh, find this all fascinating. Did your father or brothers know?”

A rattled vibrated from his chest, and she twisted toward him. A shuddered look fell over his eyes, strain lines appearing around his mouth. She reached out to touch his face, but he grabbed her hand.

“My father had no idea. Daniel and I weren’t close, so we never shared sex stories. Cameron knew everything. We were more than brothers. We were best friends. When he became legal, I allowed him to tag along, never thinking he’d be into the scene like me. But then he fell in love with a woman he met there. Seeing those two meet for the first time was something right out of a movie. They fell for one another.” A distant look crossed his face. “I used to rag on him all the time for being pussy-whipped.”

“Who was she?” The need to know more had become overpowering.

He kissed her palm, curving his hand around hers to keep the kiss enclosed in their clasp. “Her name is Catherine. She’s Irene and Curtis’s daughter and my business partner at The Gate that was once known as Heaven’s Gate. She would have been my sister-in-law, but Cameron killed himself.”

Her heart plummeted to her knees. Max’s throat worked as he swallowed and inhaled. His arms were like bands, but she didn’t mind.

She trailed her fingers across his hand. “You don’t have to tell me more if you’re not—”

“No. I want to. I can trust you.”

His statement held so much. She wouldn’t use any of what he said in her article. She was just being a friend and lover to a man who needed to get things off his chest.

“How did Cameron die?” She twined her fingers with his.

A rattled breath brushed over her hair. “I was indirectly responsible for his death and the events leading to me purchasing The Gate. By the time I was twenty-five, I’d started working with my father. The hours were long, but when I had any free time, I’d end up at Heaven’s Gate. It was my home away from home. Cameron and Catherine moved in together and got engaged. But things weren’t the best with them. I didn’t realize how bad until it was too late. I started noticing how strained things were between the two and how he’d grown very possessive of her at the club. He wouldn’t let her out his sight, only allowing her to watch the sessions but not participate. He didn’t want to do anything with her in the rooms. He thought things were better left in the privacy of their own bedroom. What he meant was berating and hitting the woman he loved because of his irrational jealousy was better behind closed doors where no one saw or judged.”

She halted her caresses. Even though his voice had grown huskier, he stared straight ahead, his face blank. She cupped his cheek, and he exhaled.

“How did you learn he was abusing his fiancée?” she asked softly, keeping her palm on his cheek.

“There were visible signs with bruises and black and blues. A few times Catherine’s lip was swollen, discolored. I assumed it was because they were into more violent play. S&M sex isn’t just bondage and sex toys, but can get very intense where people like to be smacked around.” He closed his eyes. “I’ve never hit a woman in the face. But some do. Cameron would hit her in anger or jealousy. She kept it hidden until one day I found her in one of the rooms in the corner, crying. She broke down. Told me how unstable my brother had become. He was drinking more, drugging at the other underground clubs. She was worried he was going to hurt himself, maybe overdose. She was also frightened if she left, he might hurt her. I told her to go home, pack a bag, and she could stay with me or her parents. I would take care of him. But I was so stupid. Didn’t think….” Max squeezed the bridge of his nose and cursed.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, wanting to comfort him. “If you want to

stop—”

“No. I’m fine. It’s just been awhile since I talked about it, and with it being the anniversary of Cameron’s death, it’s affecting me more than it should.” He smiled for a moment then kissed her palm. “I’d planned on accompanying Catherine home, but she told me she would be fine. My brother was out, so she said, and I took her word for it. She told me she would come back to the club because she was protected there. As soon as she left, I went to her parents. They were livid, especially Curtis. I’d never seen him in such a rage. He went to get his daughter. I stayed with Irene, but when more than an hour went by, we grew worried. Then we got a phone call.”

“Was it about Cameron?”

His eyes darkened. “Curtis had found her beaten and unconscious. He called 911, and they took her to the hospital. While we waited for the doctors to tell us if she was going to be all right, Cameron called me crying. He accused me of sleeping with his fiancée and her ending up pregnant with my baby. He was paranoid, high on something. I tried to calm him down, but he wouldn’t listen. The last thing he said to me was he would make me pay.
I
would be the one in tears and in pain. Catherine was pregnant with Cameron’s child. But she lost the baby because he beat her so badly.”

“Oh no! How horrible for her!” She tried to cover her mouth from the shock but Max held her hands to his face in an iron grip.

“She recovered and was told she could have children again. But the damage was psychological. Cameron created destruction all around. He not only brutalized the woman he loved, but killed an innocent, as well as taking two more lives because I didn’t act fast enough.”

“Please tell me you’re not blaming yourself for your brother’s actions?” She wanted to shake some sense into him. How could he think he was responsible?

He wiped the sheen of sweat from his forehead. “Cameron went to my father’s house, the one we lived in after my mother died, and hung himself in his old bedroom. He didn’t leave a suicide note. My father found him and had a heart attack. Dad fell into a coma. A few weeks later, we took him off life support. Three lives were lost.”

“Oh, Maxwell….” Sniffing, she rubbed her eyes where tears threatened to fall. She couldn’t find the words to express her condolences.

He shifted until he lay on the bed. She snuggled by his side with her arm across his waist.

He stared up at the ceiling. “After all the funerals and mourning, I turned my back on anything to do with sex. I didn’t even masturbate for a year. Just didn’t want to. Daniel and I grew further apart because he blamed me. I distanced myself from everyone. Then the year to the day Cameron killed himself, I visited his grave. Catherine was there with Irene and Curtis. We had dinner together. That’s when Curtis and Irene announced they were retiring. They wanted to sell Heaven’s Gate and offered me a partnership with their daughter. I expected her to leave with her parents, but she wanted to stay. She said Heaven’s Gate was a safe place for her, that it allowed her to face the world again. We took over the club, renaming it The Gate. It’s now the premiere BDSM club in New York, located in Brooklyn.”

She set her chin on his shoulder. Her eyes stung, and her throat burned with unshed tears. Max, on the other hand, appeared untroubled. He ran his hand through her hair, giving her a patient smile.

“Why did you get rid of Heaven and rename it The Gate?”

“Heaven was during those first few years when I learned the scene. It ended when Catherine lost everything, and I was left to help pick up the pieces from my brother who wasn’t around to take responsibilities for his actions.”

“Is The Gate your punishment?” She frowned, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

He looked up at the ceiling again, clutching her hair. Closing her eyes, she remained quiet even though his pulling hurt her scalp.

“Maybe, who knows? I find the most pleasure from being in control and inflicting pain. You’d think it should be the other way around, that I should be punished by being whipped and holding off my orgasm until it hurts so badly that coming isn’t a relief but almost a horror. Pretty fucked-up, right?”