company. If that happened, Dexter was hoping he could get Michael involved so he could
gain some financial security, too.
For the first time since he’d lost his money a year earlier, Dexter finally felt as if
he could take a deep breath and relax.
Then one night in early April, Elliot called and asked Dexter out to dinner.
Dexter hung up the phone and sighed. They saw each other all the time. He’d just seen
Elliot two days earlier when they’d taken Brighton to the pediatrician for her annual
physical. Dexter couldn’t figure out why Elliot sounded so aloof and his voice had been
so low. Elliot had said he wanted to talk to him about something and he wanted to go to a small, private restaurant to do it. Dexter agreed to meet him at seven. This was a
Thursday night and he knew the restaurant wouldn’t be crowded. He hadn’t been out to
dinner in months. He was looking forward to a quiet evening with a good friend.
But when he showed up at the restaurant, Elliot was standing beside a small table
holding a bouquet of roses. There were only two other couples in the dining area and they
weren’t paying attention. Elliot was wearing a starched white shirt and light beige dress
slacks. His hair was styled with product and he wore shiny black shoes. This was formal
for Elliot; it looked as if he’d taken hours to get ready. He usually wore faded jeans and a
black ski jacket. His hair was normally messy on top, and his old black boots were
always scuffed.
Dexter had worn a leather jacket, a black turtleneck, and jeans. Provincetown was
a very casual place and hardly anyone ever dressed for dinner. When Dexter crossed
toward the table and saw the flowers, he smiled and said, “Why are you so dressed up?
Who are
they
for?”
Elliot handed the flowers to Dexter and shrugged his shoulders. “I got them for
you. I’d like to talk about
us
tonight.”
“
Us
?”
“Yes,” Elliot said. Then he moved to Dexter’s side of the table and pulled out his
chair. “You look very nice tonight. But you always look nice.”
Dexter gulped and sat down at the table. When it occurred to him that Elliot had
become romantically interested in him, his stomach turned. Elliot was a good friend and
he wasn’t bad looking. If Dexter had met him a year earlier he would have considered
dating him. Stocky guys like Elliot actually turned him on. But Dexter was in love with Captain Lang now. He opened his napkin and placed it on his lap, praying silently that
he’d be able to handle this situation with Elliot and still be able to keep Elliot as a good
friend.
Elliot sat down at the other side of the table. He fumbled with his hands and his
right knee kept jerking up and down. It looked as if he’d been holding back his feelings
for a long time and now he couldn’t wait to let them out.
After they ordered, he reached across the table and held Dexter’s hand. He looked
into Dexter’s eyes and said, “I’d like to start seeing you as a boyfriend. I’ve become very
fond of you, and I think we could be good together.” He looked down at the table and
hesitated for a moment. When he looked up again, he said, “I think we’d be good in bed,
too.”
Dexter pulled his hand back, then rubbed his jaw and frowned. “Ah well,” he said.
“Elliot, I just don’t feel that way about you.” He wanted to be honest and he didn’t want
to play games. “I think you’re attractive and you’re a wonderful guy. But I’m happy with
my life the way it is right now. I have no intention of getting serious with anyone.”
Elliot shrugged. “I don’t get it, though. You never date. You never have sex. You
live like a monk. How can you be happy with the way things are?” He sat back and shook
his head. “I was kind of hoping you had feelings for me and you didn’t know how to
express them.”
Dexter smiled. He couldn’t explain Captain Lang to him. “Elliot, your friendship
means the world to me. I don’t want to lose it. But I’m being honest with you. I’m not
interested in anything more than friendship. I like my life the way it is. Please understand.
And please don’t get mad. I need your friendship.” Elliot lowered his head and stared down at his lap. “I see.”
Dexter reached for his hand this time. “No, you don’t see. I want it to be clear that
this isn’t personal. You’re a hot guy. If I were interested in something more, I’d be in
your pants before you could tell me to stop. But I’m just not interested in having a
relationship with anyone right now. I might not be interested in having a relationship with
anyone ever again. I’m sorry. You deserve better than that. You’re a sweet guy, but I like
my life just the way it is.”
Elliot tilted his head and smiled. “There’s no need to be sorry. You’re being
honest. That’s one of the things I love about you.”
“Are we okay?” Dexter asked. “We’re still friends and nothing has changed?” He
wanted to end the conversation. Dragging it out would only make things more difficult.
Elliot’s head rocked back and forth. He sighed and said, “I’d be lying if I said I
wasn’t disappointed. But we’re okay. And we’re still good friends.” Then he reached out
and patted the top of Dexter’s hand. “If you do change your mind, I’m still here.”
When Dexter went home that night and told Captain Lang about this, Lang
frowned and said, “I kind of like Elliot. Are you sure you did the right thing?” He was
standing near the window, looking out to the sea. His voice was soft and his hands were
in his pockets.
Dexter blinked and went to the window. “I don’t understand. Why would you
want me to get involved with Elliot, or anyone for that matter?”
Captain Lang frowned. His back was to Dexter and he wouldn’t turn to look him
in the eyes. “You’re a young, vital man, Dexter. I’m a ghost. I can’t take you out to dinner. I can’t travel with you. I’m locked here in Keel Cottage and I can’t give you the
things you need.”
Dexter put his arms through Captain Lang’s and wrapped them around his chest.
Then he rested his cheek on Lang’s back and said, “I don’t want anything else. I’m in
love with you and that’s all I need. I’ve never been happier.” Then he sighed and asked,
“Don’t you feel the same way about me?”
Captain Lang shook his head and frowned. “I love you more than anything or
anyone I’ve ever known. And I love you too much to ruin your life, Dexter. I don’t want
to be the one responsible for you missing out on all the things there are to experience in
life. And lately, it feels like that’s what I’ve been doing.”
Dexter stepped back and gave him a look. “So you think I’d be happier with Elliot,
or some other man I didn’t love?”
Lang turned around and faced him. He reached out, held his shoulders, and said,
“I’m not saying Elliot is the one. But sooner or later someone else will come along and I
don’t want to see you miss out on a chance for real happiness with a real man.”
Dexter kissed his back. “You are a real man,” he said. “And you know how to
make me feel like a real man.” He smiled and removed his shoes and socks. He
unfastened his pants and pulled them off. Then he kicked his pants away from his feet
and pulled off his shirt. When he was standing naked, he leaned into Lang’s body and
said, “I have found happiness. And I’m going to hold on to it as hard as I can for as long
as I can.”
Chapter Sixteen
After the first book was submitted, Dexter and Captain Lang began work on the
second book of the series so it could be submitted to the publisher as quickly as possible.
The reality show was set to air that summer, and the first book was launching the same
week the show aired. The reality show would have aired in the spring, but Jesse Barlow
decided to postpone it until the book launch. He wanted as much publicity as he could get
and he figured that if the book and the show were released together he’d double his
chances of getting ratings.
Dexter had to do some traveling and some promotion. But the fact that both
projects were coming out at the same time gave him a lot of attention and saved him from
what could have been grueling publicity tours. If anything, he was more worried about
overexposure. He hadn’t been in the public eye for many years and he didn’t want people
getting sick of him too soon.
The second book would launch a year later, and then a third and final book in the
series would launch a year after that. The publisher had high expectations; there hadn’t
been a series of books like this in years. Dexter went to bed at night with a smile on his
face. The man of his dreams was holding him in his arms, and his life had never been so
well planned.
Dexter and Captain Lang worked hard that summer on the second book, eight
hours a day, six days a week. Dexter didn’t go to the beach at all; he wrote anywhere
from three thousand to four thousand words a day. He spent even more time editing. When he wasn’t working he was spending time with Brighton, hanging out with Elliot, or
making love to Captain Lang.
When the reality show aired on television in the summer, it was a hit. Jesse had
focused on saving the fundraiser for the most part, but he’d also carefully edited small
fragments of the peculiar things that had happened while they had been shooting the
show. From what Dexter read and heard, Jesse made it look like Keel Cottage could be
haunted, but it couldn’t be proven.
But Dexter wasn’t completely sure how Jesse did this, because he didn’t watch
the show on TV. Marion and Brighton watched faithfully. Elliot recorded it for Dexter in
case he wanted to watch in the future. Dexter thanked him, but he knew that wouldn’t
happen. It was a personal thing; he’d never watched himself on the sitcom either. There
was something creepy about watching himself on TV and listening to his own voice come
out of a speaker. All he had to do was think about it and it made the side of his face
twitch.
The book came out the same week the TV show aired. The reviews were excellent
and he’d proven he was capable of doing more than just smiling and taking his clothes off
for the camera. But he didn’t actually read the book either. He asked Captain Lang if he
wanted to read the book and Lang replied, “Why would I read it? It’s my life. I already
know how it ends.”
Dexter smiled and put the book on a shelf in the study. He couldn’t argue with
Lang. He felt the same way about watching the reality show.
After the second book was submitted in September, Dexter wanted to take a few
months off and just relax. He’d been working nonstop since the reality show had started shooting—almost a full year. He’d been writing with Captain Lang since January. His
eyes were tired of looking at a computer screen, his back ached from sitting in his office
chair all day, and the fingers in his left hand started to tingle from working on a keyboard
for so many hours.
But Captain Lang didn’t want to stop. He insisted they finish the third book in the
series so it could be submitted in January. Lang claimed it was the best way to keep all
the books flowing; he didn’t want to lose his momentum.
When the third book was finished in January, Dexter finally took a break from
work. His editor called and said he was going to be in Provincetown for a week. He said
he’d never been to Provincetown and he wanted to check some real estate during the off
season. But he also wanted to meet Dexter, work on a few edits, and talk about publicity
for the entire series of books.
Dexter couldn’t wait to meet him. His name was James Campbell. They had been
e-mailing and talking on the phone for months. Dexter liked the way he edited. When
James suggested a change, it was always something that improved the book. Dexter felt
as if he already knew him. And when Dexter found out that James was planning to stay at
a local inn, he insisted that James be his houseguest in Keel Cottage that week.
When James arrived at Keel Cottage, Dexter raised his eyebrows and took a deep
breath. He’d been expecting a small, tweedy type of man, with thick eyeglasses, thinning
hair, and a middle-aged paunch. But he was nothing like that. James was tall, with thick,
dark hair, a long, lean body, and hands the size of Frisbees. His brown eyes were gentle
and his lips were full. He was wearing faded jeans, a brown leather sport jacket, and a white cableknit sweater. He didn’t look like he was from New York. He looked more like
