The Ghosts of Varner Creek (11 page)

"What you mean by that?" asked Abram.

"You done got Annie pregnant. Emma told me so. And you ain't going to leave her with a bastard child. She deserve better than that. Besides, her brother and daddy would hunt you down." He looked at Abram with intense resolution, "And I'd probably join them."

Abram was stung. He couldn't believe what Colby had just said. "What's wrong with you!?" he exclaimed. "I thought we was friends."

"We are," said Colby, "but Annie be Emma's sister and a sweet girl. It ain't right you gone and got her pregnant and then going to run off like that. And even though we don’t always see eye to eye on everything, I never figured you the type to try and skip out like you are. You done told me once you wanted to lay with Annie Stotley. Remember that? Well, now you have and she’s pregnant. You going to have to cowboy up and be a man, now."

Abram took the whiskey bottle out from under his bed and sat down with his back against the door inside the little shack he and Colby shared. "Shit," he said. He thought about leaving on his own but he didn't know where to go, and the thought of being hounded by not only the Stotley men but also his own friend Colby was enough to discourage the thought. He pictured Annie and thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She did have a good nature and was pretty as she could be. Prettier than he thought he'd end up with. Still, the thought of settling down and having a baby crying all the time and crapping all over the place scared the hell out of him. His own childhood had been a nightmare. He never planned on having kids of his own. He was going to plant his tobacco, make lots of money, and spend his days carousing with his buddies, drinking late into the night, playing cards, having a different woman every night. He could see his dreams, or fantasies as they more accurately could be called, falling down around him. "But what about our plans, Colby? We were going to make it big with our tobacco."

"Mr. Pyle say cotton better to grow, and don't nobody want to be buying tobacco so much as they do cotton. I’ve got me a new plan, now. Me and Emma going to have a family and I'm going to be a cotton farmer." And that was the end of Abram’s hopes of running away and being a rich hemp farmer.

"I guess I'd better start saving up, too," Abram said. "I’m gonna have to put her and that baby somewhere."

And so just a few months later, around the time that Marcus was beginning to make a name for himself in metal working, there were three weddings in Varner Creek, Marcus Stotley married Mary Jo Greenley, Colby Patterson married Emma Stotley, and Abram Mayfield married Annie Stotley. Mr. Stotley was beside himself with happiness with three children out of the house all at once.

True to his word, Colby built himself and Emma a nice, sturdy two-bedroom home that would be added on to later, complete with a separate kitchen area from the front room and a large front porch. Everyone in town was impressed with the home he built. He had purchased the land from Mr. Pyle on a payment schedule and would, many, many, years later come to own most of the farm when Mrs. Pyle left it to him after her passing.

Abram had moved Annie with him to worker’s row. Mr. Stotley was happy to have her leave and start a family of her own and Mrs. Stotley was so disgraced by her pregnant child that she couldn't find it in her heart to ask Annie to stay. Instead, she took to clutching her Bible with her everywhere she went, and even seemed as though she might be talking to it on occasions. Marcus was so mad he all but disowned Annie. He could barely even look at her for marrying that man he hated so much. Candace was the only one that wept and cried miserably when she left. Annie would have cried, too, except she felt numb inside. She felt like she was paying for her sins. And when her baby arrived and didn't develop correctly, she thought that was God's way of punishing her, too. Either that or the devil had thrown in his lot on top of God's harsh will, and it wouldn't be the last time she thought that.

A lot of things happened in the early years of Abram and Annie Mayfield's marriage. Marcus, of course, moved away with his new bride. He lived in Houston up until December of 1900. Right after the Houston railroad finally reached Varner Creek, Marcus was offered a job by the GH&H railroad to help rebuild their station in Galveston after the great storm that nearly destroyed the city wiped the old one out. Colby and Emma announced that the first of four children was on the way right after moving into their new house. And, most unfortunately, Mr. Stotley died. He almost had that personal space at home he’d been waiting so long for, but fate’s not without its occasional cruel humor, one has to suppose. They found him out in the field where he had apparently suffered either a heart attack or heat stroke. I imagine he was probably scared at first, but then most likely found his characteristic indifference. At least he finally got his peace and quiet.

Mrs. Stotley wrote to Marcus who was still in Houston at this point, and happily accepted his invitation to bring Candace and move up there. He had described to her all about the city, with its theaters and great churches, and told her about phones that were like telegraphs except people could talk to each other over miles and miles. He told her about the Houston Railway where he was working at the time and how he was being paid a lot of money for the various manufacturing of metal goods he was crafting. Even though he had no formal education, Marcus had the mind of an engineer and the hands of a craftsman. All anyone had to do was show him a picture of a tool or something mechanical in a book, and he could make it. Some things could be ordered from up north, he said, but others had to be handmade and the company paid him a lot to make them. The trains also brought in goods she had never seen before, beautiful things that she could use to decorate her new home with. He promised to build her and Candace their own little house near his and that when she was old enough he would personally see to it that Candace met a respectable man. I think it might have been this last part that seemed so appealing to Mrs. Stotley. She had taken to smothering Candace, intent that her youngest child not make the same mistakes as her other two girls.

Not long after she accepted his invitation Marcus came into town to retrieve her and Candace. The railroad hadn't arrived yet as it was only 1896, so Marcus arrived by wagon. He briefly stopped to visit Annie but couldn't hardly stand to see her with Abram. And Abram, for his part, left them alone to visit. He didn't want to be anywhere near Marcus. His jaw seemed to get a dull ache sometimes when it was really cold and I wouldn’t be surprised if for some reason it seemed to act up on that day that Marcus came by to say farewell to his sister. Marcus tried to talk with Annie and be happy about his first niece, but he couldn't help feeling betrayed by his sister somehow. He couldn't imagine what his sister saw in this man that she would get pregnant by him and marry him. He thought she was too good for him and disappointed that she hadn’t met the expectations Marcus had had for her. He'd write Annie now and then in the years after, but they never actually saw each other again, which is something he’d always lament. Marcus always meant to make it down for a visit, but everything was always so busy for him, especially when he moved his family, including Mrs. Stotley and Candace, to Galveston four years later. And so, except for Emma, Annie's former family, like her childhood, slipped away from her life.

Abram continued working for Mr. Pyle, and since Colby became more or less the manager of the farm at this time, he was blessed with a stability he otherwise would never have known. The truth was he had it a lot better in life than he had earned, but that didn't stop him from acquiring a huge resentment towards Mama. For the rest of his days my Pap would blame her for stealing his dreams and trapping him in Varner Creek. It took me a long time to learn just how Mama ended up with Pap, but in the end I discovered that things just sort of fell that way. Pap made enough money to buy a house left abandoned by a family a couple of years back and Uncle Colby helped him fix it up. That's where I was born and that's where I was on the day my Pap told me Mama had taken Sarah and left.

Chapter 6

“
. . . took your sister and they gone,“ Pap had said.

What?
I thought to myself.
They left? What does he mean they left?
“Where’d they go?” I asked Pap.

He kicked back his glass and emptied the last bit down his throat. “I don’t know. She just left.” I studied Pap carefully, trying to gauge what he was telling me. He didn’t look like a man who was lying through his teeth, but then again a good liar never does, and there was definitely something about Pap that made me think he was cutting this explanation short on purpose. I stood staring at him, from his head to his feet, trying to find a chink in the armor, waiting for him to say something more, something I knew to be a lie. As I looked him over I noticed his boots had mud on them and his hair was a bit wet. “I been out looking for ‘em, but they already gone,” he said, as though in answer to my querying glare at his boots.

“
When are they coming back?” I asked.

Pap was getting’ angry, now, “I don’t know! I reckon she might not be comin’ back! Ain‘t you listening, boy?”

I was hearing the words but the meaning still hadn’t settled, but I didn’t want to rile him up worse by asking more questions. So for a few more tense seconds, I just stood in the kitchen staring at Pap trying to figure it out, and he just stared right back, not saying a word.

He finally broke the silence. “I think your Mama left for good. They probably done gone and went to that Galveston city with your Uncle and them, I don’t know. Point is, they’re gone, boy. That’s just all there is to it.”

Galveston? Without me? Why would Mama leave without taking me? She wouldn’t. I was sure of it, she wouldn’t just leave me here. I didn’t believe it. I stared at Pap like he was the lyingest liar I ever met, but he didn‘t flinch and he didn‘t recant. I went back into the room Sarah and I had and opened up the dresser. Sure enough the clothes were gone. Had Mama come in during the night and gathered Sarah and all her belongings without me hearing? Why would she leave me all alone with
him
? I ran into my parents' room and saw the same. There weren't any of her clothes and none of her personal items left. Even our books and Mama’s hairbrush was gone.
No. No, she couldn’t have
, I thought. She wouldn’t do that to me.
Oh, God
, I thought. Why didn’t I wake up? Why didn’t she wake me up, too, and take me with her? How could I not have heard her. She must have been rummaging all through the dresser for the clothes and even Sarah had gotten up without me hearing her. If I had woken up maybe she would have taken me with her.

My mind raced with possibilities and conjecture. What had I done that was so bad Mama chose to leave me behind? My world collapsed. I ran back into the kitchen and stared at Pap. “I told you, boy. They’re gone.”

Pap almost looked sad. I couldn’t believe it. They really were gone. I bolted out the door and ran around to Lilipeg's pen. The chickens squawked and flapped their wings in protest of the invasion of their domain, but they were alone. Lilipeg wasn't there, and neither was the wagon.
It's true
, I thought. They really left. I stood staring down the worn path that led towards town, picturing Mama and Sarah disappearing down it while Sarah was looking back for me. I ran after them. I ran as fast as my feet would carry me down the path. I ran all the way down to where it met the dirt road and I kept right on running. Maybe if I ran hard enough and long enough I could catch them. But I didn’t know which way on the dirt road they had gone so I just chose one and ran. I pounded the dirt with my feet as I went, cursing my lack of speed. My legs ached and my lungs burned, but still I ran. Past cotton fields and cow pastures I pushed myself on and on. I expected at any moment to catch sight of a black speck ahead that would turn out to be Mama and Sarah on the wagon, but I never did. Past the path that led to Aunt Emma and Uncle Colby’s place, past the fork in the road that led to town, nothing. And when finally I couldn’t go any further I fell to my knees, gasping and weeping.

“
Mam-a-a-a!” I cried to myself. “Mama, why?” Why did she leave me behind? Quietly I sobbed to myself. My sides were splitting in pain from running and I lay down just off the path trying to alleviate the pain and catch my breath. I don’t know how long I cried because somewhere along the way I actually cried myself asleep.

I woke up hours later around midday. I was covered in dirt and grass and the chiggers had made a buffet out of me. Crumbs of dirt stuck to my face and I had indentations from the pattern of dried twigs I had lain on. Everything seemed a little different when I woke up to this new life without Mama or Sarah. The sky was still blue, but not as bright, and the locusts and grasshoppers still sang, but not as sweet.

I made my way home, slowly stumbling along in a dazed march like perhaps wounded Confederate soldiers had done as they passed through these parts some forty-odd years ago on their way back home from the killing fields. Surprisingly, I wasn't oppressed by a million thoughts on the way home. In fact, I can't remember thinking about anything. When home was in sight I saw Uncle Colby's wagon outside. Ours was still missing. Joe the horse was gumming the metal bit in his mouth, no doubt wishing he could remove it to munch on the grass near his feet.

I walked inside and Aunt Emma came out from Mama and Pap's room, apparently being the only one there. She walked up to me and swallowed me in a hug with her large, man-like arms, squarely planting my face in her breasts so I could hardly breathe. "Where have you been, boy?" She asked in a quiet voice. "Had me worried sick."