Authors: Danielle Steel
“My name's Paul Browne. What's yours, Cinderella?”
“Maribeth Robertson.” She smiled and stood up.
“Where are you going?” He was tall, with dark hair and a dazzling smile, and he looked disappointed.
“I was just going home.”
“Alone?” She nodded. “Want a lift?”
“I'm fine, thanks.” She couldn't believe she was turning down a ride with Paul Browne, star senior. Who would have believed it? She grinned, thinking about it, what an achievement.
“Come on, I'll walk you back to the gym at least. Are you going to tell your date you're leaving?”
“I should, I guess.” They walked easily back to the main entrance of the gym, like old friends, and as soon as they approached, she saw David, already hopelessly drunk, sharing a bottle unsteadily with half a dozen friends. There were monitors inside, but in spite of them, the kids seemed to be doing what they wanted. I don't think I need to tell him anything,” Maribeth said discreetly, and stopped long before they reached him, looking up at Paul with a smile. He was a lot taller than she was. “Thanks for keeping me company. I'm going to go home now.” The evening had been a total waste for her. She'd had a rotten time, except for talking to Paul Browne.
“I can't let you go home alone. Come on, let me give you a ride, or are you afraid my Chevy will turn into a pumpkin too?”
“I don't think so. Aren't you the handsome prince?” she asked, teasing him, but then feeling embarrassed. He really was the handsome prince, and she knew she shouldn't have said it.
“Am I?” he quipped, looking incredibly handsome and sophisticated as he helped her into his car. It
was
an impeccably kept 1951 Bel Air with the new chrome trim, and the inside was all red leather.
“I like your pumpkin, Paul,” she teased, and he laughed, and when she gave him her address, he suggested they go out for a hamburger and a milkshake.
“You can't have had much fun. Your date looked like a creep …sorry, maybe I shouldn't have said that …but he certainly didn't do much for you tonight. I'll bet you didn't even get a dance. You might as well go out for a little fun on the way home. What do you think? It's early.” It was and she didn't have to be home till midnight.
Okay,” she said cautiously, wanting to be with him, and more impressed with him than she wanted to admit. It was impossible not to be. “Did you come alone tonight?” she asked, wondering what had happened to Debbie.
“Yes, I did. I'm a free agent again.” He suspected from the way Maribeth had asked that she knew about Debbie. Everyone at school did. But they had broken up two days before, because Debbie had found out that he'd gone out with someone else over Christmas vacation, but he didn't explain that.
“I guess that was lucky for me, huh Maribeth?” He smiled disarmingly, and asked her questions about herself, as they drove to Willie's, the diner where all the popular kids hung out at all hours of the day and night. And when they got there, the jukebox was blaring and the place was jammed. It looked like more kids than at the dance, and suddenly she was more conscious than ever of the ugly dress her parents had made her wear, and of who he was. Suddenly she felt every minute of sixteen, and less. And Paul was nearly eighteen. But it was as though he sensed her shyness, as he introduced her to all his friends. Some of them raised their eyebrows questioningly, wanting to know who she was, but no one seemed to object to her joining them. They were surprisingly nice to her, as Paul's guest, and she had a good time, laughing and talking. She shared a cheeseburger with him, and a milkshake, and they danced to half a dozen songs on the jukebox, including a couple of slow dances, when he held her breathtakingly close to him, and felt her breasts pressed against him. And she could instantly feel the effect on him, which embarrassed her, but he wouldn't let her pull away, and he held her close to him as they danced, and then looked down and smiled at her gently.
“Where have you been for the last four years, little girl?” he said, sounding hoarse, and she smiled in answer.
“I think you've been too busy to notice where I've been,” she said honestly, and he liked that about her.
“I think you're right, and I've been a fool. This must be my lucky night.” He pulled her closer again and let his lips drift against her hair. There was something about her that excited him. It wasn't just her body, or the spectacular breasts he'd encountered while they were dancing, it was something about the way she looked at him, the way she responded to him. There was something very bright and brash and brave about her, as though she weren't afraid of anything. He knew she was only a kid, and a sophomore would have to be a little intimidated by a senior, and yet she wasn't. She wasn't afraid of him, or of saying what she thought, and he liked that about her. Breaking up with Debbie had bruised his ego, and Maribeth was just the balm he needed to soothe it.
They got back in his car, and he turned to look at her. He didn't want to take her home. He liked being with her. He liked everything about her. And for her, it was a heady experience just being with him.
“Do you want to go for a little drive? It's only eleven.” They had left the dance so early, they'd had plenty of time to talk and dance at Willie's.
“I should probably get home,” she said cautiously, as he started the car, but he headed in the direction of the park, instead of her house. It didn't worry her, but she didn't want to stay out too late. She felt safe with him though. He had been a perfect gentleman all night, a lot more so than David.
“Just a little spin, then I'll take you home, I promise. I just don't want the night to end. This has been special for me,” he said meaningfully, and she could feel her head reeling with excitement. Paul Browne? What if this was for real? What if he went steady with her instead of Debbie Flowers? She couldn't believe it. “I've had a great time, Maribeth.”
“Me too. A lot better than I had at the dance,” she laughed. They chatted easily for a few minutes after that, until he drove into a secluded area near a lake, stopped the car, and turned to face her.
“You're a special girl,” he said, and there was no doubt in Maribeth's mind that he meant it. He opened the glove compartment then and pulled out a pint bottle of gin and offered it to her. “Would you like a little drink?”
“No, thanks. I don't drink.”
“How come?” He seemed surprised.
“I don't really like it.” He thought that was odd, but he offered it to her anyway. She started to decline, but as he insisted, she took a little sip, not to hurt his feelings. The clear liquid burned her throat and her eyes as it went down, and there was a hot feeling in her mouth afterwards, and she felt flushed, as he leaned over and pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
“Do you like that better than gin?” he asked sensuously after he'd kissed her again, and she smiled and nodded, feeling worldly and excited and a little sinful. He was so incredibly exciting, and so unbelievably handsome. “So do I,” he said, and kissed her again, and this time, he unbuttoned the prim dress as she tried to keep the buttons done up, but his fingers were nimbler than hers and more practiced, and within seconds, he was holding her breasts and fondling them as he kissed her breathlessly and she had no idea how to stop him.
“Paul, don't …please …” she said softly, wanting to mean it, but she didn't. She knew what she had to do, but it was so hard not to want him. He leaned down then and kissed her breasts, and suddenly her bra was undone, and the top of her dress was completely open. His mouth was on her breasts, and then her lips and then he was working her nipples with his fingers. And she moaned in spite of herself as he slid a hand under her skirt, and found her expertly and quickly, despite her attempt to keep her legs together. But she had to keep reminding herself that she didn't want what he was doing to her. She wanted it to frighten her, and yet nothing he did scared her. Everything he did was exciting and delicious, but she knew she had to stop, and finally she pulled away, out of breath and out of control, and she looked at him with regret and shook her head, and he understood it.
“I can't. I'm sorry, Paul.” She was stunned by all he had made her feel. Her head was spinning.
“It's all right,” he said gently, “I know … I shouldn't have … I'm really sorry …” And as he said the words, he kissed her again and they started all over again, and this time it was even harder to stop, and they both looked completely disheveled, as she pulled away from him, and she saw in shock that his fly was open. He pulled her hand toward him then, and she tried to will herself not to, but she was fascinated by what he was doing. This was what she had been warned about, what she had been told never to do, yet it was all so overwhelming, she couldn't stop herself, or him, and he leapt into her hands as he pressed her hand into his zipper, and she found herself caressing him, and stroking him, as he kissed her and laid her down on the seat, and lay on top of her, pulsating with desire and excitement. Oh God …Maribeth, I want you so much … oh baby … I love you …” He pushed her skirt up then, and his own trousers down, with what seemed like a single movement, and she felt him pressing against her, searching for her, needing her desperately, as she now needed him, and with a single surge of pleasure and pain, he entered her, and barely moving inside of her, he gave a huge shudder beyond his control, and came less than a moment later. Oh God … oh God … oh Maribeth …” And then as he returned slowly to earth, he looked at her, as she stared at him in shock, unable to believe what they'd done, and he gently touched her face with his fingers. Oh God, Maribeth, I'm sorry …you were a virgin … I couldn't help myself …you're so beautiful and I wanted you so badly … I'm sorry, baby …”
“It's all right,” she found herself reassuring him, as he lay still within her, and slowly withdrew, already getting excited again, but he didn't dare try for another. And he pulled a towel miraculously from under the seat, and tried to help her make repairs, while she tried desperately not to be embarrassed. He took a long swig of gin then, and then offered it to her, and this time she took it, wondering if the first sip had made her succumb to his advances, or if she was in love with him, or he with her, or what it all meant, and if she was his steady girl now.
“You're incredible,” he said, kissing her again, and pulling her close to him on the seat. “I'm sorry it happened here, like this tonight. Next time will be better, I promise. My parents are going out of town in two weeks, you can come to my place.” It never occurred to him for a single moment that she might not want to continue to do that with him. He assumed she wanted more, and he wasn't entirely wrong, but for the most part, Maribeth wasn't sure what she was feeling. Her whole world had turned upside down in a matter of minutes.
“Did you … and … Debbie …” She knew even before the words were out that it was a stupid question, and he smiled at her, looking for a moment like a much wiser older brother.
“You are young, aren't you? Come to think of it, how old are you?”
“I turned sixteen two weeks ago.”
“Well, you're a big girl now.” He took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders when he saw she was shaking. She was in shock over what they'd done, and then she knew she had to ask him a question.
“Could I get pregnant from that?” The very thought terrified her, but he looked reassuring. And she really wasn't sure how great a risk she might have taken.
“I don't think so. Not from one time like that. I mean you could …but you won't, Maribeth. And next time I'll be careful.” She wasn't quite sure what being careful entailed, but she knew that if she ever did it again, and she might, maybe if they went steady, if Debbie Flowers had and that was what he expected of her, then she knew she would want to be careful. The one thing she didn't want in her life now was a baby. Even the remotest possibility of it made her tremble. And she didn't want to be forced into marriage, like her two aunts. She suddenly remembered all of her father's stones.
“How will I know if I am?” she asked him honestly, as he started the engine, and he turned to look at her, surprised by how innocent she was. She had seemed so grown up to him earlier in the evening.
“Don't you know?” he asked, more than a little stunned, and she shook her head, as always honest. “You'll miss your period.” She was embarrassed to hear him say it, and she nodded her understanding. But she still really didn't know any more about it. She didn't want to question him any further now, or he might think she was incredibly stupid.
He said very little as he drove her home, and he seemed to look around as they stopped in front of her house, and then he turned to her and kissed her. “Thanks, Maribeth. I had a wonderful evening.” Somehow she expected losing her virginity to mean more than just a “wonderful evening,” and yet she had no right to expect more of him, and she knew it. She had been wrong to do it with him the first night she met him, and she knew she'd be lucky if it developed into something more. And yet he had told her he loved her.
“I had a wonderful evening too,” she said cautiously and politely. “See you at school,” she said, sounding hopeful. She handed his jacket back to him, and she hurried from the car to her front steps. The door was open and she let herself in. It was two minutes before midnight. And she was grateful that everyone had already gone to bed. She didn't have to explain anything, or answer any questions. She cleaned herself as best she could, grateful that no one else was there to notice, and she soaked the skirt of her dress in water and then hung it up, trying not to cry. She could always say that someone had spilled punch on her, or gotten sick.
She slipped into her nightgown, shaking from head to foot, and hurried into bed, feeling sick, and then lay there in the dark, in the same room as Noelle, thinking of everything that had happened. Maybe this was the beginning of an important relationship in her life, she tried to reassure herself. But she wasn't sure what it all meant, or how serious Paul Browne was about her. She was thoughtful enough to wonder if he had meant everything he'd said. She hoped he had, but she'd heard other stories of girls who had gone all the way, and then been dumped by the guys who made them do it. But Paul hadn't “made her” do anything. That was the scary part. She had wanted to do it with him. That was the most shocking thing about it. She had wanted to make love to him. Once he had started touching her, she wanted him. And she wasn't even sorry now. She was just scared about what would happen. She lay in bed, terrified, for hours, praying she wouldn't get pregnant.