The Glass Kingdom (15 page)

Me, I gots to be careful with that shit. Though…I'm off meds this week, so fuck it, pass me that pipe, girl…Oh man, that goes straight to the brain stem, don't it though? See what you mean 'bout them stars, maybes we done switched hemispheres an' didn't notice. Hey, you serious 'bout doin' it?

Sure. Why not? Nobody ever comes down to this old dam, the water level's too low for swimming.

Ain't got no flunkies, though.

Don't worry about it. I've got one of those implant thingos.

The pizatch for the snizatch? Music to my ears, girl. In that case, I gots me a recipe for your cookbook right here.

You talk funny. Take my skirt off—I can't seem to move.

Panties too?

Yes, but don't call them that. No woman likes that word.

Fo' reals? But that's what they always say in the movies an' shit.

I know. Nah. Horrible word.

What you prefer, then?

Undies. Knickers, maybe.

Knickers, yeah, I like that. Duly noted. Oh wow, that's, uh, that's fucken awesome actually.

Is it? I never really know if it's pretty or ugly. I can't see it from that angle.

Take it from me, girl, you look
fine
. That's the sort of cooch should be put up on a pedestal an' worshipped by the masses.

Really? Well then, in that case bow down, my subject.

Oh no, oh no, no no no, this ain't happenin', this can't be happening. Wake up, Debs—wake up, girl. Hold on, Imma pinch your thigh real hard now—shit, watch where you goin', dawg, keep your peepers on the road. Ain't gonna do neither of us no good if you wraps the C-dore round a tree. Holy fuck, look at the size of that welt on her skin an' it didn't even stir her none. This is bad, so fucken bad. What am I gonna do? Can't take her to no hospital, an' even if I could where the fuck's the nearest one round here? We're in the middle of fucken nowhere, needs me a helicopter to get her out of here 'fore she ups and dies on me. Fuck fuck fuuuck, what was you thinkin', Mikey? Letting some small-town girl you just met smoke up a crystal storm. She must've had a reaction or something.

A'ight, a'ight calm down, homes, calm the fuck down, panicking ain't gonna solve this—just get your head straight and think, man, think. Least she ain't dead, her eyelids is still flickerin' an' she be makin' weird noises. Think maybes she pissed herself a little but that's gotta be a good sign, right? So all I gots to do is drop her off somewheres they'll take care of her. Outside someone's house or somethin', ring the bell and drive off 'fore they sees me. Ain't pretty, but that'll have to do it. Can't very well take her to the cop shop, not with all this fucken glass in the back.

Shit, here comes Mudgee now, slow down, slow down, Mikey, can't get pulled over now or attract attention. Keep to the speed limit and look for a place with the lights still on, far side of town next to the road. They's good people in these small towns, someone'll do the right thing. Oh Christ, I'm sorry, Deb, I really am, me and my big mouth and all this talk, always talking I am and it's shit, it's all shit, why'd you have to listen to me? Look at you, girl, look at you there with your head lollin' all over the seat like you is tryin' to find your way back to your body, please don't die, please don't die. I'm sorry to have to leave you like this, no skirt, no panties, I mean knickers, no knickers, everyone'll think you got raped—oh man, can this night get any worse? What a fuck-up, what a total fucken fuck-up, but don't worry they'll take care of you, someone will take care of you and I'm sorry it can't be me—just hold on baby, hold on. Look, here's a place, nice-looking house, garden and everything, lights burning in the lounge, watching
CSI Miami
or somethin', shit's 'bout to get real for them.

A'ight, just pull over real easy there, Mikey, throw 'er in neutral and keep the engine running, that's it, no dramas. Crack the passenger door and sneak on round there, nobody's looking, oh man, this is fucken horrible—what I'm doing—maybes I should just hand myself in but no, no, I can't, I can't do ten or twenty years for this, just for having some fun, it ain't my fault what's happened to you, not really, it's your brain, your brain can't handle the crystal.

I wish I'd not left your skirt behind—makes this look so much worse than it is. But I can't think about that now, I've gotta go, Deb, gotta bounce. An' I promise I won't steal your inventions an' I'll stand on the horn when I leave so's they'll come out an' find you. I hope you don't hate me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry and that's it, baby, I'm in the wind.

Hand me one of those controllers, move the fuck over bitches and prepare to have your asses whupped. Playa, playa, multiplaya. Mekong Delta is in da house. Lemme just select my character here. What do I needs to know, control wise? Word me up, dawg. Anything weird?

You played
Call of Duty
?

Fo' shiz. I clocked that shit in a weekend, bra.

This is the latest in the series.
Black Ops
. Same thing, only we're in Vietnam and Cuba.

Beast. Mekong Delta be right at home. Be warned, though, I's gonna wreck you guys instead of the locals. Them's my people, dawg.

You got fucken slope blood in ya, mate?

Lock that racist shit down, motherfucker, 'fore I snatch you out that chair. Ain't no need for that kinda talk. Didn't nobody tell you more Australians got Asian heritage now than European?

Bullshit.

Nuh-uh—look it up, homes, that be the triple truth. This an Asian country you living in now, so suck it up, brother. White folks is a dyin' breed, and good riddance too, I says. Motherfuckers is holding this country back.

You fucken little arsehole.

So you playing or talking, Eminem?

Chillax, dawg, I's just familiarising myself with the controls here an' having a discussion about multiculturalism with your racist-arse friend.

Calling me racist in my own fucken country? Un-fucken-believable. My granddad fought for this country and now it's overrun with fucken Lebbos and wogs and slopes. I'm not racist, mate, no fucken way, but all these people don't belong in Australia.

Yeah? Identify as Indigenous, do you bra?

What? Course I fucken don't.

So do I gots to spell it out for you?

Eh? What's this little prick talking about, Tommo? He doesn't even speak plain fucken English.

Fuck sake, Lachy, stop shouting, we're trying to play here. Your family's Scottish and Dutch, right?

Yeah? So?

Well, then, you came to Australia on a fucken boat just like every other cunt—that's what he's saying.

Youse two are the cunts. That's a very offensive accusation.

Fuck off outside and cry then, and while you're at it text Matt and see if he's on his way. I want to get this deal done before our guest here takes his business elsewhere because of your fucken prejudices.

All right, I know when I'm not wanted. Pricks.

Sorry about that, mate, he's really into all that stop-the-boats shit. Fucken ice blackened his brain as well as his teeth.

It's a'ight, dawg, they's all the same in these piss-ant towns. Present company excepted, course.

Funny thing is, every time he sees a hot Asian chick he practically jizzes his boardies.

I hear that. Who doesn't, am I right? So you think Matt's gonna give me a good price? I gots some mad merch to offload on you guys.

Totally. Lucky you turned up, actually. There's a serious drought round here at the moment. Matt's cook got sick so he hasn't been able to produce much lately. Good job you came to us first too, instead of trying to sell it directly to the tweakers yourself. Matt's got a bit of a temper on him and this is sort of his patch, you know?

You gots to respect a playa's territory. Me, I'm just looking to cash out of this game. I seen too much already. This life ain't for me, homes, you feel me?

Totally, totally. Hey, you're pretty good at this. Pick up the crossbow, pick up the crossbow!

*

You didn't tell me this cunt was a Dockers fan.

Hold up, you don't barrack for West Coast, do you? Don't know if I could do bidness with no Eagle.

Nah, mate, fuck those wooden spooners, I'm Freo all the way.

Fo' reals? A'ight, that's fucken great news! How d'ya think we'll do this year? Woulda had us a grand final if it weren't for those bitches from St Kilda.

Yeah, least they got done on the big day.

Did you watch the derby?

Did I? Wouldn't fucken miss it, mate. What a day, that's the most we ever beat those Eagle cunts by. I reckon we'll be right this year, maybe take it a step further, eh?

Kick it up a notch, Dockers!
Give
'
em the old heave ho!

Ha ha, you're all right, mate, don't hear many singing that round here.

Man, this is awesome. Make me a good offer and the glass is yours, my friend. I'd be stoked to have a Dockers fan take it off my hands.

Oh, I'll take it, no worries there, mate. How much you got exactly? The boys here told me you reckon you've got quite the stash.

Shit yeah, homes. I got, let's see, 'bout six grand's worth left, that's wholesale price, of course, being as that's what I paid. But I ain't greedy, you know? I'll take ten for it. I mean, I could sell that shit for fifty a point and make myself thirty large but I's kinda in a rush and besides, I wouldn't wanna be sellin' on your corners, right?

That's good business, showing respect like that.

S'what I'm all about, brother. You take care of me and I'll drop thirty gees of fucken awesome glass in yo' lap. Sweet as a honey-roasted nut.

I'll most definitely take care of you, don't you worry about that. Come on then, show us the gear. You got it hid somewhere?

Nah, it's in that Coles bag if you want to check it. It's good product, plenty of satisfied customers.

You brought it in here with you? In that bag?

Fo' sho. We's all good here.

What the fuck makes you think that?

Well, I…wait, what you mean? I haveta bring the product in with me to show you so's you know what you's buying.

Buying? Who said anything about buying? Tommo, quit playing games for a fucken minute and grab a hold of that bag, will ya?

Yo, hold up, motherfuckers, that shit be mine, mine.

You think? Lachy, step in here a minute, mate.

My fucken pleasure, boss. Call me a racist, will ya, ya fucken slope-lovin' little cunt.

Here, show me that bag, Tommo. Ho ho ho, fucken jackpot! Hoy, watch what you're doing there, Lachy. He's bleeding all over the fucken rug. Don't fucken beat him to death neither—I need a new cook and I want him to be able to walk out of here tonight.

Hold on, just one more. Righto, that'll do it. And fucken think twice in future before you call someone a racist, you little prick.

Is that his Commodore outside? Tommo, get the keys out of his pocket and it's yours, mate. Nice work tonight, we've scored big time here.

How come Tommo gets the car? What do I get?

Fuck sake, Lachy, you're such a whinger. Here, take a couple of points of this and smoke it up tonight. Let me know if it's any good. But before you do, drag this piece of shit out to my car. I don't want to get blood on me. Oh and Tommy, I meant to tell you, I got a new game but I forgot to bring it. It's the latest
Assassin's Creed
. Graphics on it are fucken sick, mate.

What do I know about cooking meth? Sweet fuck all but I ain't about to tell this guy that. Gots to play along with what's happening, act like I'm done, I'm beat, then flit on out of this fucken town first chance I gets. Can't believe they took the keys to the C-dore. That ain't right. The glass, a'ight, I sees now I should've been more careful, I don't know what I was thinking rockin' up there and presentin' them with a golden fucken Willy Wonka ticket. I weren't thinking, that was the problem. Too fucked up by what happened to that girl Deb to see straight. Too eager to ditch the glass and get paid. Shoulda drove straight on through to Brisbane and sold it to someone who wouldn't rip me off, someone who knew how to conduct business. But no, you couldn't wait, could you, Mikey? Had to get it sorted now, right fucken now. Shoulda waited, dawg. Shoulda thought things through.

Now this snake-eyed motherfucker got my glass and my ride, and me. My nose is fucken bleeding too where that motherfucker kicked me in the face. Asshole gonna pay for that, fo' reals. Maybes I can turn this situation to my advantage. They's just small-time tweaker scumbags, it ain't like at Freddy's joint with a couple of bikies locking the place down with pitbulls and shotguns. First time they's all out their heads I'll walk on out of there with my glass, my car keys and all their fucken money, maybe throw a match into their lab and do the world a favour at the same time. Can't do this shit on your own, homes. Needs me a gat or a fucken mate or something so's I got some back-up. No honour in this world no more. What's it come to when you can't even conduct a simple business transaction without gettin' boned?