The Goal of My Life (24 page)
Read The Goal of My Life Online
Authors: Paul Henderson
Today’s kids measure friends in quantities of hundreds and thousands as defined by the number of friends on their Facebook page. I grew up in an era when I, too, had many, many people I would be privileged to call my friends, but I believe most of us, if lucky enough, have eight or ten people we would consider lifelong friends: friends who have stood the test of time and ones that you likely shared the highest of highs and the lowest of lows
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I am privileged to call Paul one of those friends in my life. Although we have known each other for less than fifteen years, no one has had a greater impact on me as it relates to how I live my life. Paul is an evangelical Christian, something most of us, including myself, are not comfortable with. But his passion to seek out what is right and what is wrong, all based on his faith, cannot be argued
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The wants are simple … he wants us to be better people, better dads, better husbands, and even better at work. He wants us to put others ahead of ourselves, something that doesn’t come naturally to many of us. He wants us to compete hard in everything we do, to be the best
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Paul has had and continues to have an undeniable impact
on my life. My wife would agree. Although I struggle with much of this, I try to be fair but firm in my role as a business leader. I make sure my family is my priority. I am more giving in every way, I am more thoughtful of others, and although many would laugh, I think I am even more patient. Perhaps most remarkably, I am a better golfer as a result of a simple message that he drives home to me every time we play, a message that Paul incorporates in his life every day:
“
LOOK FORWARD, NOT BACK
!”
I have great friends, but no one I know tries to gently nudge people to be better every day as Paul continues to do with me and countless others
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I am proud, privileged, and honoured to call Paul my friend. Above all, Paul shows us that no matter what we are facing in life, we should be grateful for the blessings each day brings
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Paul’s impact on my life has been profound. He has taught me so many things, primarily by modelling admirable attributes in his own life
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I trust him completely for two reasons:
He puts God first, so I never even have to consider whose “agenda” is most important
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Because he “loves his neighbour,” I know that he always has my best interests at heart
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By creating this trust he opens my mind and heart to what he can teach me
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So here are a just few of the things I have observed and learned and feebly try to emulate: he is stalwart in his prayer
life and I know I am in his prayers. He will call me early in the morning while I am enroute to something he knows that is weighing on my mind and simply say, “Hey, my good buddy, just wanted you to know you were well prayed for this morning!” He encourages in many other ways as well, but just imagine the energy and comfort I get from knowing this formidable “warrior” has my back in this most crucial of undertakings
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After God, his wife comes first. Eleanor is cherished and it is plain for all to see. They way he treats her and talks about her is an example to us all, and I regret that I did not learn and practise this earlier
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He has been steadfast in the pursuit of the purpose that he believes God has for his life. He has poured his life into helping men discover a life-changing faith and has multiplied his efforts by teaching other men to do the same. It is impossible to explain the privilege of witnessing the transformation of just one man’s life and subsequently that of his family. There are literally thousands of men who are better husbands, fathers, friends, and contributors to society through Paul. Who of us can say this?
His joy is real and obvious. He will praise God out loud as we walk down some beautiful fairway on a glorious day, but he will also sincerely give thanks for his cancer as it opens new avenues for him to connect with people to explain the joy that is within him. It is not subject to circumstance
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For anybody who doesn’t think the above is important, he radically improved my golf swing!
Some would see him as a “man’s man”; I see him as an authentic man. He is principled, disciplined, and transparent, yet empathetic, loving, and caring. He is a great mentor and priceless friend!
Simply put, Paul lives one of his favourite sayings: he is “good infection” and I am thankful for his contagion!
Impact and influence is formed in authenticity. Paul is the most authentic person I know. He has learned who he is, he knows what he is about, and he is not afraid to share that with others, both victories and failures
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What I have always admired is that he has chosen to do most of this in the unpublished setting of an early morning, a boardroom table, ten or twelve men, no cameras, no reporters
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I have had the privilege of listening to the public Paul, participating in some of those early mornings, and sharing a friendship at a more personal level. I see the same man in each of those settings, a consistency these days that is perhaps more rare than we realize. And it causes me to want that for my life as well
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Paul’s influence has enabled me to live my life in a more peaceful way, in part by recognizing the importance of “people” in my life
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His teachings, using everyday examples (often in humorous ways), assisted me in stepping back and recognizing the “bigger” picture of life, to concentrate on the blessings I have and the importance of listening and helping others
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Thank you, Paul
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Engaging. Excited. Encouraging. Positive. Challenging. Brutally honest
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Every so often you meet a man and you say, “I want to be more like that.”
Paul Henderson is that man for me
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Paul has helped me to see the joy of the Christian life again
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He is helping me to grow in character
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He is helping me to have a more positive approach to the Christian life (which can be a difficult walk sometimes)
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Perhaps most importantly, Paul is guiding me toward a deeper level of Bible study, helping me to see the value and joy of time spent in God’s word
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Paul Henderson has had a huge influence on my life in many ways
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Paul’s passionate commitment to Jesus and his dedication and discipline in taking his relationship with Jesus deeper and deeper has been a wonderful model to me of a Christian life well lived. His example in this has been an inspiration to me and an encouragement to go deeper in my own relationship with Jesus than I otherwise might have
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I also love and have benefited from his passion to help others go deeper, stay focused, and finish well
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Paul’s exuberant joy in simply living his life is contagious. He has an almost childlike enthusiasm for living fully – enjoying a game of golf or a nice meal or a good conversation or a funny joke – that lifts everyone around him to a higher level
and a deeper appreciation for the simple joys of life. Paul has shown me what it means to live more fully by simply being alive to the present moment and enjoying what is happening
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I have been impressed with and helped by Paul’s emphasis in his ministry on encouraging and challenging men to love their wives well and to show this love to them every day. He himself sets a wonderful example in this, as he does in his challenges to men to step up and be the spiritual leaders in their homes
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Paul is extremely wise and has given me excellent counsel on diverse issues over the years
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Maybe most of all, Paul knows what it means to be a true and loyal friend, in good times and in bad. We have had a lot of good laughs together and enjoyed many good times, but my deepest appreciation of him as a friend and guide has to do with the many occasions he shared my tears as I was going through difficult times
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It is hard to capture all this in just a few words, but it is certainly true that Paul is one of the few men one meets in life for whom the description “great” is totally appropriate
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The year was 1998 and life was completely out of balance. Work was consuming me; my family and church were definitely in second place. I was tired out. A friend gave me an invitation to listen to Paul speak at a local breakfast meeting. I went more out of a desire to please him than attend another meeting
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Paul shared that it wasn’t until he became a Christian that he found his inner peace. I recommitted my life to Christ that
morning and refocused my life’s priorities. The changes in me personally were phenomenal. My frustrations subsided knowing God was designing my life, not me. Paul taught me that the answers to life’s questions were available through reading God’s word and prayer
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Paul is responsible for the men’s groups that meet in Muskoka each week. These groups have become instrumental in keeping me focused on what I learned from Paul that morning
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I will be forever indebted to Paul for the work he does sharing his personal life story, his love for Christ, and the impact that he has had on my life
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It looked for a while that Paul was going to stay in the United States, but some things happened that he’s talked about in this book that prevented that. He decided to come back to Canada, and we renewed our relationship right away. We retired at around the same time, we had played together as well, so it only figured that we would remain friends when our playing days were over, especially when he came back. The hockey wasn’t what was holding us together this time, however; it was our commitment to becoming Christians
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We became even closer as friends during this time, as we both came to know the Lord. He really helped me in my spiritual journey, and our friendship deepened even more. I have to be honest, we don’t see each other as often as we did, but every time we are together, we just pick up where we left off, which is a true indication of friendship. I was there for him when he started his ministry and supported him in every
way I could, and he’s been very supportive of what I have been doing over the years as well. If either one of us needed anything, I know that it would just take a short phone call and the other one would be there in a heartbeat. He has been a great friend to me, and what he’s done since he stopped playing has really helped define his great life. He has helped so many people along the way
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T
HOSE KIND WORDS IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER MEAN
more to me than anyone could ever imagine. Life is short, and knowing that you have touched people and made their lives better, and knowing that there are so many people who would support you as well, is a tremendous source of comfort and satisfaction to me.
We really do not know how long we have, as the length of our lives is not determined by us. This is why we should try to enjoy every day of our lives as we are living them, and try to help as many people as we can along our journey. We never know what is in store for us.
I sure never suspected that getting cancer was in store for me.
A couple of years ago, right around the time of Eleanor and my forty-seventh wedding anniversary (on November 9, 2009), I went in for my annual checkup. I was feeling fit and healthy and expected it would just be another routine exam.
As part of the checkup, an ultrasound was done on my stomach. I knew the technician who was performing the procedure very well, and as she was doing the test, she became really quiet while I lay there. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she was plotting growths on the screen. I could just tell.
It takes a while to get the results back, but when I went home, I let Eleanor know that I suspected something was up.
“I think I’m in trouble,” I told her directly.
We had booked a hotel room for a Friday night about two weeks later as part of our anniversary plans, and just as we were checking into the hotel my doctor called me with the news.
It turned out I was right: I was in trouble.
“We have the results,” he said to me matter-of-factly, “and it definitely looks like you have cancer.”
Those words hit me like a hard punch right in the stomach.
I had cancer
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After I hung up, I turned to the woman who had been with me through thick and thin for close to five decades and said simply, “I have cancer.”
The Lord moves in mysterious ways, and often our faith is challenged in ways we cannot imagine until we face those ways. I was facing a real battle now, especially at sixty-six years of age.
We had the diagnosis confirmed with a biopsy at the Mayo Clinic, and confirmed again in hospitals in Boston and Toronto. It turned out all three places agreed that I had chronic lymphocytic leukemia and that it was in my abdomen, my lymph nodes, my chest, and my blood.
My oncologist spelled it out for me in no uncertain terms.
“The bad news is, there is no known cure,” he told me. “However, what we have here is slow-moving cancer, and that is good news.
“With this cancer, we’ll wait until you are in too much pain, or you face a lot of weight loss, or there is too much growth, before we start chemotherapy.”
I was told that 80 percent of the people who are treated can recover and have good health for five years, and it would generally come back again after that. I spent several months learning about cancer and what I might do to slow it down, and possibly even get rid of it. I started taking supplements, started following a very strict diet, and really started working out a great deal to help my immune system fight off this disease. I would be checked out every three months, I was told, and if all went well I’d have perhaps a year, or maybe a year and a half, before undergoing the chemo. Just before I got my diagnosis, my longtime friend and mentor John Bradford found out that he was battling pancreatic cancer. When you compare what I had to his form of cancer, I was the one better off.
