The Good Mom (20 page)

“Where in Florida is she?” he asked.

She swallowed. Maybe the key was to accept it herself. To believe that she had no reason to feel ashamed of her past. She was doing her best now. She always did her best.

Smiling at him, she answered, “A small town near Orlando, in the middle of the state.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “My parents are in Naples. On the Gulf Coast.”

“Do you ever make it down to see them?” she asked, curious.

“Not often.”

“Me, neither.”

He smiled at her, just as a waiter stopped before them with a tray filled with flutes of champagne.

Her first instinct was still to freeze, to stare at the flutes of sparking, bubbling wine with the siren scent of sweet white French grapes, her old friends. If she let herself, she would feel her nose twitch, her mouth water, her knees weaken.

Yes. Oh, please, yes. Just a sip...

Her palms itched to clutch the cool glass in her fingers, to feel the sweet tartness glide down her throat, to let the reality-dulling euphoria take over her inhibitions.

But she stepped away. Smiled tightly at Aidan.

He already understood—she hadn't needed to step back or to smile.

“No, thank you,” he told the waiter. “But if you could bring us two glasses of sparkling water, that would be much appreciated.”

She let out the breath she'd been holding. “Thank you,” she said after the waiter left them.

Aidan gazed at her. “I care about you, Ashley. If you want to, I think we could really build something here.”

She put her hand to her mouth, amazed at what he was saying.

But then the minister took the microphone. “Everyone? We will be ready to proceed with the nuptials in ten minutes, if everyone will please take a seat.”

“I'll be back in a moment,” Ashley whispered to him. “Ladies' room.”

“Of course.” Aidan nodded. “I'll save you a seat.”

She gave him her shawl to hold and then, clutching her small purse, she dashed off to the ladies' room. Once inside, she wet a paper towel and stared at herself in the mirror. She looked dewy. Bright. Alive.

Did she dare?

She was just about to leave when Vivian Sharpe entered. She walked slowly, using a cane, and her hair was freshly done.

Maybe she'd been inside the private treatment room with Ilana when Ashley and Aidan had been in her workstation at the back of the salon.

Ashley pressed her hands to her cheeks at the realization of how easily they might have been seen. Perhaps Vivian even knew how close they were getting.

Vivian nodded to her. She didn't seem surprised by Ashley's presence. “Hello, dear,” she said mildly. “Are you enjoying the wedding?”

Afraid she would stutter, Ashley just nodded.

“And how is Brandon?” Vivian asked. “I heard he's in a cast. I'm sorry to hear that.”

“He's...” Ashley cleared her throat. “He's fine, thank you. I'll tell him that you asked about him.”

“Very good.” Vivian nodded and slowly walked on.

“Mrs. Sharpe?”

Aidan's grandmother turned, and Ashley realized that although there were many questions she was dying to ask her—about her interest in Brandon, her possible influence on his school admission, the scholarship, her plans for the future—there was really only one that she needed answered right now.

“Mrs. Sharpe, do you approve of my dating your grandson?”

Vivian Sharpe smiled faintly. She rested on her cane and seemed to consider Ashley—her dress, her demeanor, her question. With that same bland smile, she answered, “If I didn't, would it matter?”

“Yes,” she answered honestly. “Because he loves you.”

A flicker of surprise shone on Vivian's face. Followed by another look—wariness. “My grandson has been deeply hurt. I urge you to be kind to him.”

Ashley nodded. “That goes without saying.”

If Vivian was taken aback by her answer, she didn't say so.

Ashley returned to the wedding, still considering their meeting. She held back, watching Aidan. He was seated up front by the windows, talking to his cousin, the groom. Aidan had introduced them earlier. But it wasn't his cousin that amazed her; it was the easy way Aidan sat, relaxed, conversing.

A laugh. A nod. A dimple-faced smile. He was so handsome, her Dr. Lowe. When she and Lisbeth had been children, they used to play an old board game with the girls across the street. My Favorite Date. The game's choices for the girls' escorts had been either a sportsman, a scholarly nerd, a cowboy or a millionaire in a dapper jacket and tie. Ashley had always chosen the dapper millionaire with his dark looks and confident smile. Perhaps she loved the security and power that symbolized. She, a child who'd grown up with so little of either. Lisbeth, bless her, had gone for the scholarly-looking date every time. Deeply studious Lisbeth, who hid from their home's instability and poverty inside the logic and promise of her books.

Aidan met that promise for Ashley; he was what she needed. He'd been kind to her, though often challenging and meddlesome, too. All traits that, while maddening, sometimes had also done her good.

And physically, he
drew
her to him. Heaven, did he draw her.

She made her way across the floor and sat beside him, her whole body tingling. He glanced at her, his smile growing wider. His eyes twinkling.

She felt as if they were the only two people in the room as he touched the small of her back with his hand, leaned over and kissed her.

“Are you ready?” he whispered in her ear and she nodded, just as the wedding march began and everyone stood for the bride.

The ceremony was short and heartfelt. As the sky over Boston Harbor deepened into shades of red and gold, the bride and groom made their vows, exchanged rings and sealed their promise with a kiss.

“I now pronounce you man and wife.”

The guests stood again and cheered. Even Aidan was smiling. Ashley had glanced at him during the short service, and he'd been watching intently. No sense of any troubled feelings, which she'd worried about, given his experience with Fleur and her lack of commitment. A bad experience hadn't scared him away.

He'd reached over and threaded his fingers through hers. Maybe they could try. Slowly, very slowly at first. Take it as a test.

After dinner, the music started. “One dance,” Aidan murmured in her ear.

“But it's almost eight o'clock! I told you I'll turn into a pumpkin.”

He laughed. “My grandmother's driver is an ex-NASCAR racer. I promise I'll get you home on time.”

So she relented, and she was glad that she did. The lights were low, and the band played a slow, romantic oldie from before she'd been born. She felt like she was in another world, a new world to her, and she felt glamorous and cared for as Aidan danced with her in his arms.

But it appeared he had another agenda, because he danced her toward a particularly dark spot of the room, on the edge of the celebration. When the music ended, he leaned down and kissed her deeply, his hands running through her hair, over her shoulders and down her back. She ached for him. Her whole body throbbed.

If she hadn't had to go home...if she hadn't had responsibilities, then she would have gone home with him in a heartbeat.

“Come.” He broke the kiss. “I promised you won't turn into a pumpkin on my watch, and I'll keep that promise.”

He whisked her into the town car. And as he'd promised, the car sped through the streets of Boston.

Until they came to a construction project—a group of workers huddled by a manhole. Her street was blocked.

“Oh no!”

Aidan opened the door. “We'll run. Hurry up! We have five minutes.”

Giggling in a way she hadn't since she'd been a young girl, she dashed after him in her bare feet, holding her strappy heels.

She ran on her tiptoes, on the edge of the grass beside the sidewalk. He held her hand. “Hurry up, Cinderella!”

She reached the door to her building, breathless. He glanced at his watch. “One more minute,” he announced.

And then he kissed her, his tongue mingling sweetly with hers, until the minute had passed.

She let go reluctantly. “Good night!” she called to him from the doorway.

He disappeared into the shadows.

* * *

T
WO
NIGHTS
LATER
, during their regularly scheduled Monday session, Brandon had buckled down.

Aidan said nothing, but privately he was amazed. However, he kept a poker face as he copied the numbers and equations that Brandon recited into a notebook.

Brandon finished dictating and sat back. He picked at one of two stickers on his black cast—the New England Captains sticker. The other sticker was for the Outdoor Club at St. Bartholomew's School.

“Well?” Brandon asked. “How did I do, Dr. Lowe?”

His student's answer was 100 percent perfect. “You're ready,” Aidan said.

Brandon sighed with relief. “My math teacher wants you to call him. I asked him about you being my writing hand for the test next Tuesday, and he said he has some questions for you.”

“No problem.” Aidan set down his pencil. “I'll go in and see him tomorrow.”

Brandon nodded. With his left hand, he pulled over his English text book. No nonsense. No chatting. He had homework to get through, and he was doing it without procrastination or complaint.

The kid had come a long way. He knew how to study now. He'd focused and was growing up, in Aidan's opinion. His mother and his aunt had been right—Brandon was very bright when he applied himself.

Aidan watched him turn the pages of the book despite the bulky black cast. That obstacle hadn't stopped him. On the contrary, it had seemed to motivate him even more.

“I'm proud of you,” Aidan said quietly.

Brandon paused. He didn't look up at Aidan, but Aidan saw him smile.

Ashley came in the door, breathing heavily from her walk outside and looking beautiful. Her glossy auburn ponytail was slightly disheveled. He imagined the wind on the Boston Common blowing through it.

Aidan glanced away from her. If he looked at her, her son would surely know everything Aidan felt, and he'd agreed—albeit reluctantly—not to tell the boy anything about them just yet.

“We're finished here,” Aidan said to Ashley, pretending to look over Brandon's shoulder with interest at what he was reading.

“Okay. Can you see yourself out, then?” Evidently, Ashley was determined not to look at him, either.

“Douglas is going to walk to school with me tomorrow morning,” Brandon informed his mother.

Aidan saw that Ashley looked rattled. “Who?” she asked Brandon.

“Douglas. My friend from Outdoor Club.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“He's not a boarding student, either. He's a commuter like me. He lives in Brookline.”

“Well, great.” She gave him a shaky smile. “I'm glad you're making friends.”

Brandon closed his books. “I'm going to read in bed. Good night, Aidan.”

“Good night.”

“Don't stay up too late,” Ashley called.

Brandon nodded, headed into the bathroom and shut the door.

Quick as lightning, Aidan used the opportunity to motion to Ashley. Breathlessly, the two of them ducked into the hallway outside the apartment.

This time, she touched him first, placing her hands on either side of his waist and pulling him to her. “God, I missed you,” she whispered as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

He cradled her head with his palm and kissed her back. “Can I spend some time alone with you? Please tell me Brandon has an Outdoor Club activity on Saturday?”

Ashley nodded. “He's climbing Wachusett Mountain.”

That was located in central Massachusetts. “Excellent,” Aidan said. “That's, what, a three-hour drive from here?”

“It's a little over an hour. Sorry, Aidan.”

“Well, it's something.”

She pressed herself against his chest and sighed. “You have the memorial service to go to on Saturday.”

He stilled. He'd been trying not to think about that.

She peered at him. “You're still going, aren't you?”

Idly, he smoothed back her hair. “Please come with me, Ashley. Sit beside me. I meant it when I asked you.”

She hesitated. “I want to support you, and I'll definitely be driving with you to the church, but I wonder if it might be too early—too hurtful—for Fleur's parents to see me sitting beside you.”

He thought for a moment. Maybe she was right about that.

“You wouldn't mind waiting outside?”

“Not for this. I'm thinking of their point of view. They don't know that you and her daughter broke up, that there are hard feelings, and it wouldn't be helpful for them to learn about it now. Let them live with that delusion. It doesn't hurt us, Aidan.”

This woman thoroughly amazed him. “Okay,” he said quietly. She was right. It was the kind thing to do.

Ashley hugged him even tighter. He wanted to stay in this hallway forever.

He hoped he could get through the service on Saturday without getting angry and giving everything away.

CHAPTER TWELVE

A
SHLEY
KNEW
THE
memorial service
was a test for Aidan. Was he really ready for a new relationship the way that he said he was?

She sat in the passenger seat of his rental car, while he steered into a parking space.

“Destination arrived,” the navigational software blared from the dashboard.

Aidan clicked it off. “Yeah, we're here,” he said to Ashley. They both sat in silence, staring at the traditional New England church where Flo and Albert Sanborne had arranged for her daughter's memorial service to be held.

“It's beautiful here. Very peaceful,” Ashley said. Two huge maple trees stood sentry beside the tall white steeple. The maple tree's leaves were just turning from green to scarlet and gold, and the effect was stunning. “Is this the town where Fleur grew up?” she asked.

Aidan nodded. “She invited me home for Thanksgiving once, in the early years. Honestly, though, she didn't come home that often.”

Ashley glanced around at the picturesque town. North of Boston, it was a much nicer place than the gritty urban street where she'd spent her childhood. “Why didn't she like it here?”

“It wasn't a matter of liking it or not,” Aidan said slowly. “At least, I never thought so. She just...preferred to live near her work.”

A small group of children were playing in a park across the street. Two were swinging on the swing set and one was romping with a dog. “This looks like a great place to bring up children,” Ashley said wistfully.

Aidan just nodded. His gaze looked far away. Was he saddened? Was he comparing her with Fleur, wondering what might have been?

A car pulled up, close to the church walkway. People were climbing the stairs. Ashley glanced to the clock on the dash—ten minutes until the service started.

Aidan let out his breath. “I should go inside.”

She nodded.

He glanced at her, as if to ask something, but then shook his head as if thinking better of it. “If you want to take the car for a drive, go ahead. Just be sure to keep the navigational software on. I'd hate for you to get lost.”

She smiled at him. She knew where she was. “Actually, I'm going to take a walk. There's a beach two blocks from here. I'll sit in the sand and watch the waves for an hour.”

He looked surprised. “Have you been here before?”

She nodded. Although Aidan had rented a car today, this town was only a few stops north of Boston on the commuter train. “I came here with friends a few times,” she said softly.

“On family fun days?” He smiled at her.

She smiled back, even though that hadn't been the case. But, oh well, just as she'd never know the whole story of his life with Fleur, there were things from her past that would also remain private. “I like to look at the ocean. I'll keep busy while you're gone. And I'll be thinking about you.” She leaned over to kiss him. He held on to her arm for a long moment.

Finally he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers.

“I have my phone.” She held it up. “Call me if you need me.”

“I really don't need to do this for closure, you know. This service is for Albert and Flo. It isn't for my benefit.”

Maybe. She hoped so. That remained to be seen.

“I'm over her, Ashley.”

She smiled at him. “Then it's nice of you to go, for Flo and Albert.”

He winced. “Yeah.” But he opened the door and let himself out.

She got out, too. The air was cool and scented with an ocean breeze. “Why don't you drive over to the beach parking lot and pick me up when you're finished?” she suggested.

He gazed at her over the roof of the car, his expression perked up. “Okay. Yeah. That sounds great.” He paused. “Maybe you can look on your phone and find a good seafood place where you and I can have dinner.”

She smiled at him. “I'd like that.”

As she watched him walk off, it occurred to her that maybe he really was over his ex. Maybe he was ready to start anew again. With her, this time.

An hour from now, she would know better. Time would tell.

* * *

A
IDAN
WALKED
INTO
the small church, originally built for a village congregation hundreds of years before he'd been born. He was filled with a mix of emotions...awkwardness, apprehension and discomfort at being with people from a life he no longer wanted to remember.

But it was pretty hard to forget all that, because the first thing he saw was a massive photograph of Fleur's smiling face, set on an easel at the front of the church.

He turned away from it, managing to smile at Fleur's mother, who'd rushed forward to greet him.

He let Flo—not exactly a mother-in-law to him, not even considered a friend by her daughter—hug him. The two women hadn't been estranged exactly; Fleur had just lived a different life from that of her parents. She'd been adamantly unconventional. And Aidan, who'd thought his entire family was unconventional, too, hadn't been fazed or surprised by any of it.

Knowing Ashley had changed that for him. He was enthralled by the way she adored her son. That she wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.

In the early days, Aidan had always just assumed that he didn't want to marry or have children, either, like Fleur. Then they'd both turned thirty, and then beyond, and he'd been shocked to realize that
his
mind was changing. He was starting to want something that she didn't want to give. The deal they'd struck early on no longer worked for him.

In the end, he'd realized that they had completely opposing goals and values.

He'd grown into his values. Looking around at the church, at the local people—Flo and Albert's friends and neighbors—Fleur had grown up with the values of family and friends and love of community. While she'd shed them, he'd been acquiring them. Ashley had acquired hers in adulthood, too, and she'd passed them to Brandon, her son. Maybe that was why he felt he was growing into a relationship with Ashley that just fit him better.

He moved aside to let a couple pass, and in doing so he brushed against a sprig of white roses on the aisle. The whole place was bursting in white. White roses, white lilies. It looked nice.

“You did a lovely job,” he commented to Flo, who was clutching his arm now, as if having taken possession of him.

“Roses were Fleur's favorite when she was a girl.”

He nodded. Fleur had loved roses. He felt sad for her, that she was gone so young.

“There's a real big crowd,” Albert remarked. His jaw appeared to be trembling. “It's good to see her doctor friends make the trip to say goodbye to her.”

“Your friend Ashley was very helpful with the names,” Flo said. “I sent out quite a few invitations.”

Ashley.
She wasn't just a friend; she was much more than that. But Albert was shaking another man's hand. Hugging a woman who'd stopped to whisper her condolences.

“We were too broken up to have a proper funeral service for her the first time,” Flo said to Aidan. “It's nice that we can have this one now. For everyone who knew Fleur as a child. She was so smart and promising. Her father was over the moon when she became an important doctor.”

Aidan nodded again. He was starting to understand how important this was for them. Maybe he was starting to understand how his and Fleur's difficult relationship might actually have made it more difficult for him to accept her death. Maybe while he'd been trying to distance himself from her memory, her parents had been trying to hold on to any of the positives they could find.

In any event, his heart seemed to be breaking open, finding more compassion than he'd known before.

Just as the music started and Flo took his arm to bring him forward to take a seat with her, Aidan saw the church door open. His grandmother, Vivian, had arrived.

He smiled across the room at her. She understood the importance of family in a way none of his other relatives seemed to.

Beside him, Flo cried softly. Fleur had been her only child. “Parents should never have to bury their children,” she whispered to Aidan.

He clasped his hands and bowed his head. Concentrated on the words the minister was saying. Breathed in the fresh scent of flowers.

He was genuinely sad that Fleur was gone from life. Not that she was gone from
his
life, but that she was gone from her family, from her own life. She would never have a chance for a redo or for a fresh start, the way he had.

By the end of the service, he felt as if he'd said goodbye to someone he'd known a long time ago, when he was a different version of himself.

Anger had seeped out of him. Good times had been remembered. Grudges forgiven.

When it was all finished, Flo asked him back to the house for a buffet supper.

“I can't, but thank you for inviting me,” Aidan replied.

“I understand.” She smiled at him. “Doctors are important. You're always so busy.”

He smiled back. Maybe that's how things had been in the old days. Now... Now, he was spending his time in relaxed contemplation.

“Good luck, Flo. If you ever need me—”

“I'll call,” Flo said. “I have your number.”

“Of course.” He gave her a hug, wondering what Ashley would think of all this when he told her. Surely, she would understand. “You take care now,” he said.

He sought out his grandmother, gathering up her cane discreetly in a back pew and preparing to stand. He helped her up by the elbow and held out her cane for her. “Thank you for coming, Gram.”

“Of course, dear. You knew I would.” She gave him a long, gentle hug and then pulled back. “Well. That was lovely. A very nice service. I'll go speak to Fleur's mother, and then I'll be heading home.”

“Is Rocco outside?” he asked.

“Yes. I told him I'd call when I was finished.”

“Then I'll wait until you're ready to leave, and I'll escort you outside.”

She patted his shoulder. “Thank you. I'll be just a minute.”

He waited quietly in a corner for her, watching as she approached Flo and spoke a few kind words for her. Flo seemed genuinely touched that Gram had come. Aidan was, too.

And then he did as he'd promised. He escorted Gram to her waiting town car, the engine idling in front of the wide church stairway, and helped her into the backseat. After Rocco had driven off, Aidan went back inside. He had one last thing to do in the church before he headed over to Ashley.

Aidan went down the aisle and stood before the oversize portrait of Fleur. He thought briefly of the good times they'd had. He bowed his head and said a private prayer for her.

And then he said goodbye.

* * *

A
SHLEY
HAD
WALKED
barefoot from one end of the beach to the other. Except for one couple walking a German shepherd and another in an impassioned conversation on a beach blanket near the entrance, the stretch of beach was deserted in early October.

What had most surprised her was that the beach was much smaller than she'd remembered. The water colder. The sand a shade darker, more brown than white.

She turned to head back to the parking lot just as Aidan appeared, walking toward her in his regular loping, confident gait.

She watched him for a moment, feeling happy. So strong and handsome, he grinned at her, even from this distance. His black hair danced in the breeze, his jacket was tossed over his shoulder.

She ran to greet him then, and he scooped her up in a kiss.

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him how it had gone, but any details had to come from him, at his pace.

Was he okay? Was he truly over Fleur? Or did he still feel guilty?

“This beach is great,” he said, gazing around. “I can't believe you found it, tucked into the village like this.”

“It's for residents only, but if you don't park in the lot, nobody bothers you.”

He put his arm around her. “Walk with me.”

She nodded, feeling as if he had something important to tell her.

They walked for a few moments, listening to the seagulls overhead. He pulled her even closer, so they were walking hip to hip.

Finally, just when she couldn't stand the suspense any longer, he said, “Thank you for helping Flo. I think it meant a lot to her.”

She exhaled. “I hope she's all right.”

“I think she will be.” He paused for a moment. “I'm glad you encouraged me to go.”

Ashley smiled. “It was the right thing to do.”

“Yeah. I'm surer now of what I want.”

What did that mean?

“You know, Ash, since Brandon is going on an overnight hiking trip with his outdoor club next weekend, I was wondering if you would go overnight camping with me, too?”

She stopped short, dragging him to a stop with her. Next weekend would be four days after Brandon's test. That meant he was staying—for her.

“You okay with going camping?” he asked.

“You mean, you and me in sleeping bags? With bugs and ticks and outdoor toilets?”

He burst out laughing. “Only you would say that,” he teased.

Oh.
Oh!
He wanted to kick their relationship up to another level. She hadn't expected that from him today.

“You...were just at a memorial service,” she said weakly.

“I was. And it struck me, Ash. Life can be so short. There's no way to know what tomorrow will bring. I want my life to mean something to me. I thought about all the things I most wanted, and then what I realized is that I most want you, to go camping with me this weekend. I've always loved it and I want to do it more in my new life. But you know, I can compromise. How about if I find us a shelter with a bed? And screen doors and indoor plumbing?”