The Good Neighbour (28 page)

‘Was you?’ Gina helped pull the wetsuit off one of Cath’s legs.

‘I really miss her.’

‘So do I. Cancer’s a fucking bastard.’

‘Least you had the chance to say goodbye to her.’

‘Mum made sure of that,’ Gina said. ‘Why we discussing this now, Rubes? You gotta keep moving. Give me the wetsuit and let’s go.’

The bike start and finish area was a short walk behind the esplanade. Looking back at the sea, Cath could see a couple of people still in the water, but most had already started on the cycle route. She put on her shoes and helmet, and pushed her bike over to the mount line. As she sat on the saddle and Gina clipped her shoes onto the pedals, she felt a chill of fear, a trace memory of the accident, and held tight onto Gina’s shoulder. The official counted her down and she set off, wobbling slightly as she waved to the kids. Which was a waste of time as they weren’t even looking her way.

She followed the circuit down Cliff Gardens and back onto the esplanade. At last, her anxiety started to recede. The warm breeze ruffled her damp hair, and from here the sea looked beautiful, covered by sparkles of golden light, much more benign than when she’d been in it. Her legs felt strong as she sailed smoothly past the spectators lining the route, all cheering her on, because she was the only cyclist at this point. She rounded the corner and headed towards the Martello Tower, where the course was narrower and there was no room for people to stand and watch. She’d loved the funny museum inside the tower when she’d visited as a child. Davey would like it too, if she only had the time to take him. Mind you, there was probably no disabled access. She remembered steep steps going down into it, like a mineshaft. Oh, Davey. She shook her head to try and rid it of the terrible name she’d called him this morning. Pointless to beat herself up. Try and be better, that was the thing. Make it up to him. He would know she didn’t mean it, that she was just stressed. Worrying about the race.

Cath felt herself freeing up, getting faster. After the route merged onto lovely flat Marine Parade she rocketed along. She saw Minette on the opposite side of the route, already coming back, way ahead of her. Minette’s strong point was the swimming, but she was also a reasonably fast cyclist, so she would be in quite a while before Cath. Well, she had a good ten years, more, to her advantage. You don’t do so badly, Cathykins, she told herself. She waved – Minette was doing this for Davey after all – but Minette didn’t see her.

Cath managed to pass a few older cyclists, some of whom looked quite fit, though there were also a couple of fat ones who were alarmingly red-faced. She turned at the halfway point, gave a thumbs up to the official, and made her way back along, cheered on by more spectators. All the training had been worthwhile. She felt as light as air. Silly to worry about losing Gina. Verna was lovely, she would be the new Gina. It would all be fine.

In what felt like minutes she was back at the Martello Tower, cruising along on autopilot, the finish point only five minutes away. Then a man stepped out in front of her holding up his hand. She screamed, swerved to avoid him, and went clattering into the seawall. She just about managed to stay upright and on the bike, by clutching at the edge of the wall. The man came over. It was Liam.

‘What the fuck you playing at?’ Cath yelled. ‘I’m in the middle of a fucking charity race!’

He put his hands on her handlebars. ‘You’re a hard woman to track down.’

Her legs started shaking. ‘I need you to unclip my shoes.’ He looked at her, uncertainly, and she shouted, ‘Liam, I’m going to fall, please help me.’

Liam quickly unclipped her shoes and she dismounted ungracefully, scraping her shin. She sat on the ground, her back against the wall, breathing hard, and tried to stop trembling. Liam propped the bike onto its stand and sat next to her. Three cyclists zipped past, a blur of legs and wheels. Then another came past and slowed down, called out, ‘Are you all right?’ It was the grey-haired woman Cath had overtaken at the swim.

‘I’m fine,’ Cath called back, waving. ‘Just fell off. I’ll get on again in a minute.’

‘OK.’ The woman pedalled away.

Cath looked at Liam. ‘Weird time to insist on a chat,’ she said, trying to smile.

‘I’m sorry, I don’t mean to hold you up for long. But it’s not like I haven’t tried to contact you. Phone messages, notes through the door, personal visits, the works.’

‘I’ve been busy.’

‘Last time I knocked, a builder answered, and when I asked if he knew when you’d be back, he said, “Sorry, mate. I’m only measuring up the kitchen, I ain’t got her diary.”’

‘I like your comedy Cockney accent. So Liam, what’s so urgent?’

‘Minette says you’ve got pictures of us.’

‘Does she, now?’

‘Dirty pictures. Of me and her in your spare bed.’

Cath laughed. ‘Really? I wonder why she would say that.’

‘I don’t think she’s lying.’ Liam looked at her, and Cath saw the uncertainty on his face.

‘Maybe she got confused. When I saw her the other night, she was pretty upset about Josie’s pregnancy.’

‘Yeah, thanks for telling her.’

‘Sorry, lovie, it just slipped out. So can I go now? I am sort of busy.’

‘I just need to say this one thing.’ Liam looked straight ahead rather than at Cath, his jaw set. She wanted to laugh at how much he looked like a model from some naff clothing brand, his eyes gazing out at the horizon.

‘Go on, then.’

‘If you ever show one of those photos to Josie – if you even so much as hint that you have these photos – I will track you down, and I will do you some serious harm.’

He turned to look at her. She felt a little afraid, but her instincts told her that this was, in all probability, a hollow warning. ‘These imaginary photos must be pretty hot stuff, if you’re making threats like that.’

‘I mean it, Cath.’

She decided she might as well do this now, rather than later as she’d planned. ‘OK Liam, let’s get serious. What are they worth?’

‘The photos?’

‘I don’t want Josie to see them, either. But I think you should put down a deposit, to remind me that I don’t want to.’

‘So it is blackmail. Minette was right.’

‘Not at all. I have something you want, and you’re paying me for it. It’s a basic transaction.’

‘How do I know that you’ll keep your word?’

‘You don’t, I suppose. But I will.’

‘How much?’

‘You tell me. What’s it worth to you?’

‘This is a one-time-only payment, all right? I’m not going to have you shaking me down every month.’

‘I’m not planning to be around here for much longer. It’s a one-off. To go towards “Doing it for Davey”. It’s a good cause.’

Liam sighed. ‘Five hundred?’

Cath laughed. ‘Come on, Liam, you were a banker. Still are, if we change one letter.’

‘I was a city trader.’

‘You’ll have stashed enough away. I’m not greedy. Call it five grand and we’ll leave it there.’

‘Jesus, no way!’

‘You ought to see this particularly nice picture of you with your dick in Minette’s mouth …’

‘All right, you fucking cow, five grand.’

‘Can you make sure you’ve paid it into my website by the time I get home today? I don’t want to have to chase you for it.’

Liam nodded. ‘I’ll do it now, if you promise that’s it.’ He took out his phone and started searching for her site. ‘That’s it, Scout’s honour,’ Cath said. She stood up, and her legs trembled and nearly gave way. She realised she wasn’t going to be able to get back on the bike. Not now. Maybe not ever. She waited till he’d paid in the money, then said, ‘Are you feeling strong, Liam? Strong enough to do “some serious harm”?’

‘Why?’

‘I need you to break my bike.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Just do it, please.’

‘Why should I help you?’

‘It would make sense for you to do me a favour, maybe.’

Liam shrugged, picked up the bike, held it as high over his head as he could, and hurled it to the ground. The mirrors shattered and a couple of bolts came off, god knows where from, and rolled away. The wheel rims chipped but looked intact.

‘Harder.’

‘What’s my aim here?’

‘I need to not be able to ride it.’

‘Oh, in that case …’ Liam brought his foot down hard against the chain with all his weight, then again, and the chain snapped. ‘I remember from my cycling days as a lad. There’s no coming back from a broken chain.’

‘Thanks. I’ll push it the rest of the way and say I crashed it into the wall.’

‘Won’t they disqualify you?’

‘Not if I finish the course.’ Cath stood up. Knowing she didn’t have to cycle any more made her feel skittish. ‘I must say, you look particularly handsome today, Liam.’ She braced her hands on the handlebars. ‘Something I’ve always wanted to ask you, how come you never tried to make it as a telly presenter or something?’

‘I did try, years ago, but nothing came of it.’ He gave her his Man At Armani smile. ‘Whatever I’ve got doesn’t come across in front of the camera.’

Cath began walking away from him, pushing the bike, which was all over the place, like a wayward supermarket trolley. ‘Yes. I can see that.’ Luckily there wasn’t far to go. ‘Weak chin,’ she called over her shoulder, and then she turned the corner.

She wasn’t the only one walking to the end of the route. A couple of other competitors ahead of her were also pushing their bikes, and one youngish man was limping along with bloodstains down his legs. It was good to know that she wouldn’t be quite last. She reached the finish and explained to an official about her chain. Gina came running over.

‘Oh my god, I was getting worried. What happened?’

‘Tell you later. But I’m never getting on a bike again.’ Cath drank some water and looked over at the kids. Lola was playing with Gina’s phone.

‘She was getting a bit bored,’ Gina said.

‘Bring them over to watch me run.’ Cath changed into her trainers and went to the start line. Gina and the children came across to wave her off.

As Cath began to run, she realised something wasn’t feeling right. She tried to shake it off, but it nagged away at her. She did a mental checklist of her body: legs, aching and a little trembly still, the scratch on her shin stinging. But basically OK. Feet, fine. Arms, tired but OK. Back, neck, shoulders, all OK. What was it, then, Cathykins? The runners ahead of her were a long way in the distance; the runners behind a long way back. It was just her and the tarmac, her panting breaths, the echo of her feet thudding in her ears.

She thought of Gina’s anxious face as she saw Cath pushing the bike. She’d been the cause of a lot of Gina’s anxious faces lately. The days when she’d been the one to rescue Gina were a long time past.

That first night after leaving Andy, four months ago. The kids were asleep in Gina’s spare room, and she and Gina were in the living room, making up an airbed for Cath to sleep on. Cath smoothed down the cream duvet cover and said, ‘This is nice. Egyptian cotton.’

‘John Lewis,’ Gina said. ‘Nothing but the best for you, Rubes.’

‘Cath, now.’

Gina sat down on the sofa and began putting a matching case on the pillow. ‘Rubes, I’ll do everything you ask. I will always be there for you and the kids. I’ll do my best to remember whatever new damn names you’ve given them. I’ll liaise with Andy and I swear on my mother’s grave that I will never tell him where you are. But the one thing you can’t get me to do is call you Cath. Oh, of course,’ she said quickly, anticipating Cath’s objection, ‘I’ll call you Cath in public. But in private, when no one can hear, you’re still Ruby. You were Ruby when you were the only one to talk to me in Mrs Blaker’s class. You were Ruby when you held my hair that time I puked on Hastings seafront. You were Ruby when you lived with us after your mum died. You were Ruby when I was your bridesmaid, and Ruby when you got me away from that shitty bastard.’

‘Gee, are you crying?’

‘Fuck off, I’m not.’

Cath emerged from her thoughts in time to see Minette pass her going the other way. This time Minette did wave, and called out ‘Good luck!’ Cath waved too, but didn’t wish her luck, she didn’t need it. In ten minutes, maybe less, Minette would be at the finish. She was going like the clappers too, almost sprinting. Cath, on the other hand, was beyond tired now, her running little more than a fast walk. She couldn’t shake the irritating voice in her head telling her something was wrong. Cath always thought of her unconscious the way she’d seen it depicted in a psychology textbook during her nurse training. It was a drawing of a man’s head in profile, with the brain inside, a tiny bit of the top of the brain marked ‘Conscious’ and coloured in red, the much larger part, nine-tenths, in blue, labelled ‘Unconscious’. The literal-minded tutor had been at pains to tell them it wasn’t really like that inside their heads, but the image had stuck for Cath. She imagined sifting through that large blue area, flicking through the possibilities. The wiry feeling was more or less in check. She was feeling bad about Gina, sure. But that wasn’t it. Was it something to do with Liam? No, she’d handled that encounter well, considering how startled she’d been. Minette? That was still a gamble, of course. But there was no way Minette would tell Abe. Still, it was a bit weird that she’d come to race today after the way their last encounter had ended. Why had she? She’d not tried to confront Cath, and it seemed she hadn’t even talked to Gina …

The thing that was wrong suddenly hit Cath between the eyes, like a physical slap, and she stopped dead in her tracks. The phone in Lola’s hand … Oh god, oh god, what an idiot she was. She turned instantly and ran back towards the start, almost colliding with a runner who was running in the same direction.

‘Hey!’ the woman yelled. It was her old friend, the one with grey hair. ‘You didn’t get to the turn point.’

‘I’m not cheating, it’s an emergency. I have to get back to the start.’

‘Yeah? You don’t look ill,’ the woman panted. ‘I’m going to have to report you to the race officials.’

‘Report away, grandma,’ Cath said, and picked up speed. She thought she would never get to the end, the slap of her feet against the ground pounding in her head, all thoughts blotted out except that she had to get back there right now. At last she reached the finish point. She didn’t stop to get her number noted down, and the official called after her. She ignored him, scanned frantically round for Gina. Oh god, where were they?