THE GREAT BETRAYAL (18 page)

He’d hung up after the ten-minute call feeling even worse, and he hadn’t thought that was even possible.

Leaving made perfect sense. He’d done that.

Divorce made even better sense. But was he ready to do
that
?

How could he ever trust her again? And what kind of woman abandoned her own baby when it needed her most? The kind of woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with? The kind he had married?

Before he could stop himself Luke had left the car, set the alarm, and slipped back into the house.

Once back inside he stood at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the banister. Thinking.
Trying
to think.

She said she wanted him back in the house. She even looked like she had been missing him, her sudden weight loss evident. She wanted their marriage to work. Wanted him to forgive her. But could he? Was she hiding anything else?

Had she essentially married him only because he bore a striking resemblance to Jeffrey Phillips?

Their entire marriage flashed before Luke’s eyes, the familiar pang of pain surging through him again.

He could not bear the thought. The idea that his wife had spent the last eleven years using him as some sort of twisted coping mechanism…

Taking a deep breath, he started up the stairs, loosening his tie as he went.

When he entered their cozy bedroom, the lamps were on, but the room was empty. He found her in her dressing room, brushing her hair at the vanity. She was virtually naked, clad in only a light blue silk bra and matching thong panties. Her smooth, pale skin shimmered under the lights.

After all these years, he still had a deliciously feral reaction to her body.

Leslie jumped when he walked in, gasping as her eyes caught his in the mirror.

Their gazes locked and held.

“
What are you still doing here?” Her breathing was uneven. She was surprised, but visibly glad to see he hadn’t left.

“Am
I
the one you’ve loved all these years?” His tone was low, laden with desperation.

Laying the brush on the vanity, Leslie stood and came to stand in front of him. “Oh, Luke.”

Luke felt his entire body tense. His breath caught as he stared into her eyes. She was too close, damn her. Too close.

Softly she said, “Of course I’ve loved
you
, Luke. Please stop doubting that. Don’t ever,
ever
doubt our love and what we’ve shared. You and I.”

God, he wanted to believe her. He
needed
to believe her.

Raising his arms, he pulled her toward him, settling each hand on the curves of her shapely hips. “I hate myself right now. I hate myself for loving you so much.”

“Don’t,” she whispered, her eyes pleading with his. “Don’t hate yourself. I’m your wife. I’m all yours.” She pulled his head down and gently kissed his parted lips. “And I always will be.” Then she melded their mouths.

Luke groaned, and his hands left her hips, slipping around to her buttocks. Kneading the supple flesh, he drew her up against him, settling her middle against his and crushing her breasts against the rock-solid wall of his chest.

As their kiss deepened, Leslie rubbed herself against his hardness. “Take me to our bed, Luke.” She started to pull away, her green eyes smoky with need.

He ignored her.

Undoing his pants, Luke backed her into the opposite wall.

He yanked off her silk thong, his fingers finding her clit, moist and at attention.

Inhaling swiftly, Leslie’s eyes closed.

He began caressing it, watching her every expression as pleasure rippled through her.

Her moans made him grow harder.

Luke pinned her against the wall. “Who am I?” he asked roughly.

She parted her thighs, ready for him. “Luke,” she breathed.

“
Look at me.”

Her eyes fluttered open, her pupils drunk with pleasure.

“
Who am I?”

Leslie pressed her lips against his. “Luke,” she murmured. “Luke, Luke, Luke.”

She reached for him.

Raising her leg, she guided his penis to her dripping vagina. She stared into his eyes, her gaze raw and hungry. “I know who you are…but why don’t you show me anyhow?”

With one deep, swift stroke, Luke showed her.

Her arms went around his neck and she panted, “Oh, God, yes. It’s been too long, Luke.” Her voice lowered in pleasure. “Too long.”

He began moving inside her. Her body tightened rhythmically, suckling him. Luke thought he was going to die. No woman had ever felt the way Leslie did. Entering her body was like entering her mind…for an all too brief time.

They kissed. They tongued.

He whispered how good she felt as he ground into her again and again. She whispered how much she missed him. How much she loved and needed him. She begged him not to leave her again.

When Luke came, it gushed so hard he saw stars.

And with that sweet, soul-draining release, the conflicting emotions seemed to flow right out of him.

Only the love remained.

“
Feel better?” she asked, caressing the small of his back. He was still snugly nestled inside of her.

He chuckled. “What do you mean?”

“
You looked pretty bad when you came in.”

“
I
felt
pretty bad when I came in.”

“
So…I’ll ask again. Feel better?”

His face became serious. “Yes,” he said softly, dropping a kiss on her lips. “I feel a lot better.”

Leslie kissed his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t say that enough.”

“
Do you have any more secrets, Les? Anything else I should know about?”

She shook her head. “No more secrets, Luke. I promise. But—” She broke off.

He raised himself up, searching her eyes. “What?”

“
Grace may want a relationship with me one day, Luke.”

“
What—so she doesn’t now? What happened when you went to Memphis?”

“
It went well when we met, but…she sent me an e-mail. In it she explains that she tried telling her parents about being in touch with me, but they didn’t react well. She says she doesn’t want to hurt them, so we should give it some time.”

“
Well…that’s understandable, don’t you think?”

“
Yeah, but—”

“
But what? You need a relationship with her.”

She nodded. “Yes, Luke.”

“
I don’t get it. What if Jeff’s mother had never contacted you? Why is this suddenly so important?”

“
I don’t know. I can’t really explain it, but now that I’ve met her, now that she’s real again…I can’t help but want to get to know her, honey. And have her get to know me.”

Get to know you
? thought Luke. I
can’t even get to know you
.

“And, of course…I feel so damned guilty. I couldn’t bear the thought of her hating me. When she was in the past, it was one thing…but now that she’s back in my life—”

“It makes it all too real.”

“Exactly. I feel awful for leaving her. She was my
baby
. I should’ve taken her with me, Luke.”

Luke said nothing. Though he knew better than to admit it, he was glad the kid had opted to stay away. He didn’t think he was quite ready to face Leslie’s skeleton head-on. To have the ebb and flow of their lives so dramatically disturbed.

Not to mention Kathryn. Luke worried about the effect it would have on their daughter. Since her birth she’d been the center of her mother’s attention. Her sole focus. How would she feel about an older sister—her mother’s true firstborn child—entering the family?

Leslie was kissing him again. “Hmm. I’m
so
glad you stayed tonight.” She pressed her hips against him. She felt him growing hard, deliciously stretching her body once again. “Make love to me again, Luke,” she breathed. “Make love to me until the sun comes up. I’ve missed you so much…”

Lowering his head, Luke drew a dark, pink nipple into his mouth.

Leslie sighed his name.

My name
, he thought, claiming her.
And my wife
.

Chapter 35

The following day, Luke moved back home.

Kathryn was thrilled, Leslie relieved. She didn’t know how much longer she could’ve weathered the strain of Luke running out on her. Even the neighbors had begun to wonder. She’d taken to telling everyone who asked that Luke had been traveling a lot, scouting sites for his next big building project. She had even told that to their cook, Evelyn Tremaine, keeping her at bay out of shame. Thank goodness Dawn had been around to help out with dinner every night.

As the months flew by and they resumed their daily routines, Leslie’s thoughts often turned to Grace. How was she doing with school? Did she have a boyfriend? Was she still getting along with her parents?

When her birthday rolled around in May, her sixteenth, Leslie wrestled with the idea of sending her a gift.

Would it be welcomed? Now that they were in touch, would it be seen as neglectful if she didn’t send something? Acknowledge it in some way?

“
Why don’t you send her a gift certificate? Online,” Dawn suggested.

“
You mean, like, to her e-mail address? Why, yes, that’s a great idea! That way I don’t have worry about Beth seeing any packages from me.”

Uncertain of Grace’s tastes, Leslie wasn’t sure where to purchase the certificate. “Would it be tacky to send it from a restaurant, someplace that has a chain in Memphis? Like Chili’s or TGI Friday’s?”

“
Yeah…you could do that, but what about Amazon? They sell everything from CDs to clothing. She could use it to buy almost anything she wanted.”

Tilting her head, Leslie smiled appreciatively at Dawn. “What would I do without you?”

“
I don’t know,” said Dawn, laughing. “Let’s hope we never have to find out!”

Two days later, she got a response from Grace.

Leslie had decided to send two $500 gift certificates: one from Amazon.com and the other from one of Leslie’s favorite spots for beauty products and perfumes, Sephora.com. Teenagers loved that place.

Delighted to get such a quick response, Leslie clicked open the e-mail.

To:
[email protected]

From:
Grace C. [
mailto:[email protected]
]

Subject:
Re: Leslie Cavanaugh has sent you a gift certificate!

Message:
Dear Leslie,

Thank you
so
much for the birthday gifts. I
love
gift certificates! Especially Sephora, it’s awesome! Absolutely the coolest place…it’s, like, the first place my friends and I go to when we hit the malls.
Thanks
!

My mom threw me a great party and it was a blast. All my friends were there, and my boyfriend, CJ, got to come, too. My dad’s been giving us a hard time, but he says now that I’m sixteen, he’ll lighten up, so they let CJ come, and it was cool. I guess it’ll get easier for us to see each other now.

Anyway, I was a little sad last month on my uncle Jeff’s birthday. I remembered. It’s really weird to think of him as Dad because I grew up thinking of him as uncle Jeff. Anyway, knowing he died the very next day made me sad, I guess. I looked at his picture a lot that day…I have it on the mirror in my room. I wish I’d known him. Grandma’s always missed him a lot. Now I miss him like that, too.

Anyway, I’m rambling in this message, I know, but thanks again for remembering my birthday; it means a lot. And thanks for not mailing anything to our house.

Sincerely,

Grace

Should I respond
? Leslie wondered.
No, don’t push it
.

But she was filled with a sense of sadness. She had a sixteen-year-old daughter with a full, active life.

And it was going on without her.

“
I got an e-mail from Grace today.”

Luke froze.

They hadn’t spoken of Grace—or her father—since Luke had moved back into the house. He would have preferred to keep it that way. Luke could more than do without the reminders.