THE GREAT BETRAYAL (21 page)

“
Will do…Good-bye, Luke.”

Dawn dropped the cell phone into her purse. She decided to wait a bit before checking in with Leslie.

Toying with the box of Cheerios in her hand, her sister eyed her suggestively. They were out doing their usual Saturday-morning shopping.

Dawn bit the bait. “Okay, what?”

“What do you mean ‘okay what’?” Brenda tossed the cereal into her cart.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Dawn snapped in irritation. She continued pushing the cart down the isle.

“Why are you so involved with those people’s lives?”

“Why are
you
so involved with mine?”

“That’s just it,” Brenda retorted. “Maybe if you had a life of your own, you wouldn’t always be in theirs. Every time I turn around…” She trailed off. “By the way, does Leslie know you spend so much time talking to her husband—behind her back? Does she know you’re like his little spy or something?”

“What are you talking about?” Dawn demanded, incredulous. “I’m not a spy.”

“Well, I’m not convinced,” said Brenda, tossing a couple boxes of Quaker oatmeal into the cart. “What was that call about just now?”

“Mind your business, Brenda.”

Her sister said nothing more. They continued shopping in silence, neither one trusting herself to speak further.

When they got out to the parking lot, Dawn finally caved. She realized an explanation was needed. “Okay, listen,” she said as they packed the groceries into their car trunks. “He just worries about her, that’s all—and I do, too. I guess you could say that I’ve become
his
friend as much as Leslie’s. Does that make any sense?”

Brenda looked at her. “I’m worried about you, Dawn. I’m worried that you’re wasting your life away.” She hesitated. “It’s like you’re using the Cavanaugh’s problems to occupy your time…to fill up your life. You don’t even keep in touch with any of your old friends. Everything’s about Leslie and Luke Cavanaugh.”

Dawn inhaled deeply. Her sister had a point. It did seem that way, didn’t it?

She had to do damage control. And fast.

“
You’re right,” she finally agreed, her tone solemn. “You’re absolutely right.”

It was time to put a call in to Lyle. Dawn hoped he hadn’t given up on her for good this time.

“
Gosh…I really wish I could’ve known him.”

“Me, too.”

They had reached the graveyard around noon and were now standing over Jeffrey Phillips’s granite headstone, both in tears. Though there were a few visitors scattered about, the atmosphere was calm, serene, and very, very quiet.

The stillness of a graveyard was very unique, certainly unlike any other. Leslie could feel an overwhelming reverence for the dead, just hanging in the air. Despite the brightly shining sun, the rustling of the trees with the wind coming off of the nearby sea, an eerie quiet prevailed.

They both spent a few silent minutes staring at the headstone.

In Loving Memory

JEFFERY ROY PHILLIPS

April 14, 1959 - April 15, 1985

“
Wow,” Grace said dramatically, her eyes glistening. “I didn’t think I’d get this emotional.”

Leslie remained silent. She couldn’t have spoken if she’d wanted to. And she didn’t. She was gone, back to that day. That awful, terrible day. The day she’d lost her grip on how to live, it seemed.

The feelings overwhelmed her and, unable to control them, she walked away, giving Grace time alone with Jeffrey. Her father.

The precious young father…whom she never even knew.

“
Are you okay?” asked Grace. “You were awfully quiet back there.”

Adjusting the strap of her seat belt, Leslie prepared for the return trek home.

No, she was not okay. She didn’t
feel
okay. She had just relived the day Jeff died. One day they were together; so happy, so full of hope; life was so perfect…and the very next day—
the very next day
—he was gone. Just like that. Dead, and with her no more.

The memory still left Leslie numb to the core. Numb in all the places that mattered most. The largest piece of her life had been ripped away, leaving a gaping, and as yet, unhealed wound.

“
It was hard,” she finally said, after several pregnant moments. “Going there.”

“
Yeah, it was,” Grace agreed. “Is this the first time you’ve been back since he died?”

“
Yes,” she murmured, nodding. She started the engine.

“
Well, thanks for bringing me. I’m really glad I came.”

Leslie hesitated before driving off. “Would you like to see where we lived? Our old house?”

Why had she said that? She wasn’t sure, but there it was.

Grace’s eyes lit up. “Really? Yeah, of course, that would be awesome!”

She heard the front door open and smiled. He was home.

“
At long last—the lord of the manner is home!”

They’d just been married, and Jeffrey arrived from school to find Leslie in the kitchen preparing dinner—baked chicken, sautéed vegetables, mashed potatoes, and garlic bread. All of his favorites.

“Mmm…something sure smells good,” he said appreciatively, entering the kitchen. He came up behind her at the stove and enfolded her in his arms. “Hi, Emerald Eyes.” He planted a kiss on her cheek.

“Hi,” said Leslie, and returned the kiss. Her head was still in the clouds. Life was bliss.

She couldn’t believe she was Mrs. Jeffrey Phillips. She had dreamed of the fairy tale. Of being Cinderella or Snow White, but never in a thousand years could she have imagined it would be like this. Magic. She was so in love with this man, and she could feel his love for her in everything that he did. Jeffrey was not only incredibly charismatic and gorgeous, but he was one of the most kind-hearted and thoughtful people she had ever known.

“How’d I get so lucky?” she asked dreamily.

“No—how’d
I
get so lucky?” he said, nuzzling her neck.

“No really, it’s so amazing, Jeff. I feel like I’ve known you all my life. Like everything I’ve experienced happened just so that I could be led to you. It’s totally weird.”

Jeff turned her around to face him. His eyes were serious. “We must be soul mates.” He toyed with a few loose strands of her luxurious auburn hair. “I feel the exact same way. I always had this passion for living in Florida…maybe I heard you calling.”

Leslie smiled with contentment only love could bring. She touched her forehead to his.

“You hungry?”

“Hmm…what do you think?”

They made love on a kitchen chair, Leslie straddling Jeff and bringing them both to a mind-blowing climax.

“I love you so much,” she breathed against his lips.

“I love you more, Emerald Eyes.”

“
It’s okay; we can go,” Grace said, reaching across the seat to touch Leslie’s hand. “I think it was probably a mistake to come here anyway. The memories are obviously too tough for you.”

Leslie had broken down into sobs the minute the car stopped in front of the house. It took time for her to regain her composure.

It looked exactly the same. Nothing had been changed over the years. The same pale green and beige trim. The same white picket fence. The same big oak tree in the yard.

“This was to be your home, Grace,” Leslie said, crying. “This is where you spent most of the time growing inside of me. We couldn’t wait for you to be born; couldn’t wait for the months to pass so we could meet you, count your little fingers and toes. We sat up in bed almost every night, imaging what you’d look like. Jeff said he wanted you to look just like me if you were a girl….” Her eyes left the house and she turned in her seat to look at Grace. “And it’s almost as if God was listening…because he certainly got his wish, didn’t he?” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Oh, God, why did he have to die? Why did he have to die right before you came? He never even got to see you, to hold you. My God it’s so unfair!” Leslie shouted, breaking down into sobs, mascara and eyeliner streaking her face.

Grace rubbed her shoulder, saying nothing, letting her cry. It must’ve been pretty obvious…the feelings were long over due for release.

Once Leslie calmed down, Grace said, “Thanks again for coming with me. But I’m sorry it brought back all the painful memories for you.”

“No, it’s…it’s okay. I should really be thanking you. I needed this. I should’ve come back a long time ago.” She paused, choking back more tears. “Just as I should’ve come back for you when you were a baby.”

“Well,” Grace said optimistically, “we’ve found each other again
now
. I guess that’s all that matters.”

Slowly, Leslie nodded. “Yes, you’re right. That is all that should matter.”

Mother and daughter shared a tender gaze.

Smiling, Leslie finally said, “Okay, Elvissa. Let’s hit the road. Let’s go home.”

Chapter 39

As the months following their trip flew by, Leslie made every effort to keep in touch with Grace.

Speaking on the phone only occasionally, they communicated primarily via e-mail. She had given Grace her personal e-mail address and told her to write anytime, for any reason. And Grace did. She wrote to her about school, friends, and boys; her younger brother and sister, Jude and Mindy; and sometimes even about fights she had with her parents.

At first Leslie tried to share Grace’s anecdotes with Luke, hoping it could bring them closer together. That he would see she was being completely open with everything now, that she no longer had anything to hide.

But over time, and to Leslie’s profound disappointment, it became clear that all had not been forgiven. He was firmly rooted in his resentment for the years he’d been kept in the dark. The mere mention of Grace made Luke cringe. She noticed that any reminder of her past, her hidden self, made him visibly agitated.

One evening while they were at the gym, she mentioned it to Dawn. “You know what I think? I think if he never heard Grace’s or Jeffrey’s names again, it would work no hardship on him.” She sighed heavily. “What do you think I should do?”

“Talk to him about it,” Dawn replied, using a towel to wipe her sweat. “Tell him how you feel. You
should
be able to discuss Grace with him. After all, she is a part of your life now, which makes her a part of his as well. She’s not going anywhere. It’s time he got used to it.”

“No. I don’t think talking about it anymore will do any good. He said he forgave me. That we could move on, start fresh. I guess there’s only so much I can expect from him on this. So I just won’t discuss her with him anymore.” She stepped off the treadmill and grabbed her gym bag, out of breath. “Let’s go. I’m beat.”

A few nights later, over dinner at a nearby Thai restaurant, Leslie broached the subject of Grace coming to visit for Thanksgiving.

“She e-mailed that she’d like to come and spend it with me, if it would be okay. She thinks Beth and Billy are gradually becoming more used to the idea of our being in touch with each other.”

At first Luke said nothing. He obviously hadn’t expected the conversation to take this turn. “Uh…Thanksgiving? Aren’t we going to be at my parents’ this year? Isn’t it their turn for Thanksgiving and ours for Christmas?”

“Yeah, I suppose so, but…would that make any difference? You don’t think your mother and father would have a problem with Grace joining us, do you?”

He twirled noodles onto his fork, his face unreadable. “No, no, of course not. Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that there’d be a problem. They have to meet her sometime, right? Why not at Thanksgiving?” He took a sip of water. “Should be a blast.”

That evening when they got home, Leslie signed onto the computer in their den. With a broken heart, she replied to Grace’s e-mail.

To:
Grace C. [
[email protected]
]

From:
L. Cavanaugh [
mailto:[email protected]
]

Subject:
Re: Thanksgiving

Message:
Hi, Grace,

It would be so wonderful to have you here in Florida for Thanksgiving! We will definitely get to do that at some point in the future. However, I’ve given this a lot of thought and I think that, at least for the time being, let’s give everyone a bit more time to digest this, okay? I know your parents could use it, and so could Luke and Kate. I don’t think everyone’s quite ready to move on and make the best of things…at least, not just yet. It’s still a very difficult and delicate situation for all concerned…but in time, hopefully before too long, we’ll be able to have our special times together—just the two of us!