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Authors: Iris Murdoch

The Green Knight (58 page)

BOOK: The Green Knight
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Emil said, ‘What methods do you use?'
Fonsett replied, ‘I am not sure what your question means, and in any case an explanation could take a long time. Briefly, we are not psychoanalysts, we are psychiatrists. We do not make conjectures based upon our patients' dreams, or their early childhood – '
‘So you give them drugs.'
‘That is one part of our method. I imagine you are sophisticated enough not to be made uneasy by the word “drug”.'
‘I am made uneasy,' said Emil. ‘I have only lately made the acquaintance of this intelligent and clear-headed man, and I cannot believe that he is in need of your “treatment”, whatever that may be.'
‘Hear, hear,' said Kenneth Rathbone. ‘I guess I've known him more than most here have, and I say he's the best chap I've ever met and also the wisest – '
‘Yes, you see he is a Buddhist,' said Joan, who had for some time been wanting to speak, ‘he's a spiritual person, like a holy man. He doesn't need doctors! It's you who need him, not him who needs you!'
Emil said, ‘There are indeed spiritual things which you scientists do not understand and these are the deepest things upon which man's being rests.'
Fonsett spoke patiently, in no way put out by the aggressive tone of his critics. ‘So he has told you he is a Buddhist! Well, he may indeed have picked up a smattering of Buddhism on one of his trade missions to Japan. Incidentally, he is a fishmonger as well as a butcher, as he failed to tell you! I agree with you' (he indicated Emil) ‘that there are deep spiritual matters on this planet. Buddhism is a deep matter and one which cannot be quickly mastered. A rapid impression of it must be superficial, and in the case of a mind given to fantasy, must remain at a completely unreal level. You accuse me of haste, but you have all, it seems to me, come to rather hasty conclusions! Peter seems to have collected a lot of new friends remarkably quickly! He was certainly getting tired of the big-business community. And you all seem to have taken him rather promptly to your bosoms! What do you think about him?' Fonsett said suddenly to Clement.
Clement had been expecting this question, though he could think of no reason why he should be chosen. He said coolly, ‘I am very sorry for him.'
‘Yes, but what do you
think
?'
‘I don't know him well enough to have any clear impression. Like everyone else, I think he is some sort of remarkable person.'
‘Some sort – what sort? Can't you say any more? Your opinion interests me.'
‘No, I can't say any more!' said Clement. Then he abruptly added, to his own surprise, ‘Oh go to hell!'
‘Well said, cobber,' said Rathbone.
Moy, on the outside of the circle round Fonsett, said suddenly, ‘I think he is a good man.'
There was a murmur of approval. Cora Brock said, ‘Moy is right. He is a saint!'
‘I am sorry to hurt anyone's feelings,' said Fonsett, ‘but claims of this kind, which people are often moved to make, are almost invariably romantic. How much do we know of any other human creature, how much do we know of ourselves? We scientists know, in our own field, many things. But any so-called moral or religious knowledge, is of its nature imprecise. This distinction is a fundamental and indelible aspect of human being. Religion is connected with the fantasising aspect of the mind, it is connected with sex. These are large generalisations. I suggest simply that you have all, with various deep motives, elected Peter, about whom you know very little, to be your guru!'
‘Well, what's wrong with sex?' said Joan. ‘It's liberation, it's life, it's like Easter Day, we have all been drinking nectar, we were in hell, we are raised up, we are saved, we are beautiful, that's why we love him, that's why we need him, a great spirit has been released!'
‘That's it!' said Rathbone. ‘We need him, you take him from us, we'll come and get him!'
At that moment Peter, accompanied by Bellamy, was seen coming down the stairs. There was a confused cry of mingled grief and exaltation. Peter was carrying his overcoat, Bellamy was carrying Peter's bag. Jonathan and Michael moved to the bottom of the stairs. The group surged forward then parted. Fonsett took hold of Peter's arm as they moved onward. Emil and Kenneth were already barring the door. Jeremy joined them. Bellamy was following close after Peter, still in possession of the suitcase.
Jeremy said, ‘Wait please, don't hurry so. Put down that suitcase, Bellamy. Why not at least wait till tomorrow? We want to be certain that Peter wants to go with you.'
‘Whether he wants to go with you ever at all!' said Kenneth.
Fonsett said nothing, but turned toward Peter, releasing his arm.
Peter said to the guardians of the door, ‘Thank you, thank you with all my heart, but as I have explained to Bellamy, I do go willingly. And I agree with Ned that it is better to make this move quickly.' He turned then so as to include the others who were standing round the doctor. ‘I apologise for this hasty departure. I wanted to talk to you all, but there has not been – enough time. We shall meet again. Thank you, dear Louise – dear good Louise – 'He hesitated here, as if trying to compose briefly what could only be said at length. He said, ‘You understand.' Then, ‘My thanks to you all who have so kindly wished to rescue me – and – the children – do not cry, Moy, you and I know each other, and noble Sefton will do great things, and Harvey will get well, and Aleph – Aleph – yes – please forgive my stumbling words – and I see my old friends, Mrs Callow and Patsie, please do not grieve, my dears, I shall be back – and then there will be another party which will not end in tears. Now may I say, please stay and finish your dinner, please, for me, do that, please stay!' Patsie was mopping her eyes with her apron and Mrs Callow was crying audibly. Peter paused, seeming to have finished. Then he turned suddenly toward Clement, who was standing a little apart from the group, near the drawing-room door. For an instant Clement and Peter gazed intently at each other. Peter said in a loud clear voice, ‘Look after your brother!' Clement gave a soft exclamation like a sob.
Fonsett said, ‘Here is my card with the address of the clinic. Who shall I give it to?' Jeremy Adwarden reached out for it. ‘Come on now, Peter, give them your blessing and let us be gone.'
Peter turning to Louise said, ‘Tell Aleph – ' Then, as Fonsett was plucking his sleeve, he raised his hand with open palm and turned toward the door near which Jonathan and Michael had already placed themselves. Emil and Jeremy and Kenneth moved aside, the door opened, and Fonsett and Peter went out, followed by Bellamy. The bright outside light revealed the falling snow, the plain van, and Jonathan opening the doors at the back, while Michael climbed into the driver's seat.
‘Here's your suitcase,' said Fonsett, taking the bag from Bellamy and thrusting it inside. He took charge of Peter's overcoat and tossed it in.
Bellamy clutched at Peter, grasping his hand and his jacket. ‘Take me with you!'
‘No, my dear Bellamy, later, you will be with me later, not now.'
Bellamy said to Fonsett, ‘Let me come, he needs me, I am his secretary, he wants me to come with him.'
Fonsett said, ‘I don't think he wants you, he has just said he doesn't, anyway you can't come, sorry.'
Bellamy continued to hold on to Peter. Peter said, ‘Bellamy, thank you.' He kissed Bellamy on the cheek, then climbed into the back of the van followed by Fonsett. An iron bar in the shape of Jonathan's arm thrust Bellamy back. Jonathan got into the van and closed the door. The van backed a little, its wheels hissing softly in the fallen snow, turned, and glided down the drive and out of the gates.
 
‘Come on in, Bellamy,' said Clement, ‘unless you want to be a snowman.'
Clement stood in the doorway from which the others had moved away. Bellamy came in slowly. Clement dusted the snow off his friend's jacket and out of his hair. He then piloted him down the hall and into the library, the scene of Fonsett's incarceration. He shut the door, pushed Bellamy down onto a dark red club-style leather sofa, and sat down beside him. Moy was sitting on the stairs crying. Sefton, sitting with her, was holding and stroking Moy's long plait. Louise, now joined by Connie, was crying on one of the sofas in the drawing-room. Moy, who had no handkerchief, had been wiping her eyes upon her arm until Sefton had produced a large male handkerchief from the pocket of her velvet jacket. Louise was sobbing into a daintier handkerchief which, now soaked, was taken in charge by Connie, who gave her an equally small hankie of her own: then, watching Louise's sorrow, was unable to restrain her tears. Patsie and Mrs Callow, who had taken their grief back to the kitchen, were burying their faces in tea-towels.
Louise was thinking, it's such a little time since we saw him from the window, out in the rain with his umbrella, and didn't know who he was, and we were afraid of him, and in a way we've always been afraid of him, and then we were glad to know he was alive and Lucas had not killed him, and then he wanted to get to know us, and that was so odd, and he wanted to call us his family, and he said all these strange things about how Lucas was going to kill Clement and how he saved Clement's life, and we didn't believe him and we thought he might be a thief and then we thought he was ill and confused and I still don't know what to think, and then he brought Anax back and that seemed like a miracle and a sign and we loved him for it and I asked him to make peace with Lucas and he said women always want to make peace, and he came to Moy's birthday party and called Aleph princess Alethea and seemed like being in love with her and Clement was so much against him and said he wanted revenge and then he sent the girls those necklaces as if he wanted to buy them, and then Bellamy told us he'd had some sort of conversion and given up wanting revenge and become a good man, and now it seems he is a good man, and I wish I'd trusted him and believed him from the start, and good heavens what about Aleph, does he want to marry her, what does she think, and he is so rich, but really I couldn't be with him when he was so against Lucas and I
didn't go to see Lucas
, and I
ought
to have done and I
will
do, and I haven't
been with
Lucas and he has been alone and I have been stupid and
afraid
to go to him, and I haven't even looked after Harvey properly, though I do love him so much, and now he's gone too, and now Clement and Joan are together and I'm sure Joan was his mistress once and I have not done what I ought to do and I have muddled everything and lost everything
because I am a coward
! The bitter tears poured from her eyes as she sobbed into the limp handkerchief with her wet mouth.
Meanwhile outside in the hall Jeremy, Emil, Kenneth, Cora and Joan were giving consideration to Peter's suggestion that they should stay and finish their dinner. They drifted into the dining-room, which turned out to be occupied by Tessa who was wearing her overcoat and sitting alone at the head of the table drinking wine. When they appeared she got up. Jeremy said, ‘Don't go.' Joan said, ‘What's your new career, private detective agency?' Tessa replied, ‘As it happens I have a new career, I have decided to help mankind in a more practical and reliably successful way, I have become a medical student.' ‘Well done you,' said generous Cora. ‘But what about the Refuge?' ‘It will be taken over by a woman called Pamela Horton who will be considerably more efficient than I was.' ‘Stay and tell us more,' said Jeremy, who had always liked Tessa. ‘No, I must go, goodnight.' She left the dining-room and quickly sidled out of the front door, closing it quietly behind her. ‘She has guilt feelings,' said Emil. ‘If so they are unnecessary,' said Jeremy. ‘Peter's capers would have been found out anyway. I like his pretending to be a psychoanalyst! And of course that knife – that was why the police said he was carrying an offensive weapon!' ‘How will Tessa get away?' said Cora. ‘Didn't she come in the van?' ‘How thoughtless of us,' said Jeremy. He ran and opened the door. The snow was falling thickly, silently, like a curtain close before his face. Tessa had vanished. He returned. ‘She will survive,' said Emil. Mrs Callow appeared at the door and said, ‘Would you like bread-and-butter pudding or cheese?' Cora and Joan said bread-and-butter pudding and cheese, the others said cheese only and Jeremy asked her to bring in two more bottles of Beaujolais Nouveau. They settled down together. A few minutes later Connie came in and joined them, saying that Louise was feeling better and had gone into the kitchen to help with the washing up. Jeremy said ‘Typical!', adding, ‘Bless her!'
Moy too had recovered a little and gone off in search of a lavatory and somewhere to wash her face. Sefton, left alone, went into the empty drawing-room where the chairs, facing all directions, were occupying the middle of the room. Following her instinctive desire to create order out of disorder she put the chairs back in their places, including the ones which had come in out of the hall. Returning to the drawing-room she saw the green umbrella upon the table where she herself had put it. She stared at it, then she picked it up, she examined the handle, then she undid the catch and drew out the long knife. Tilting it toward the light she read the inscription again, cautiously she tried the sharpness of the blade, then she shuddered and slid it back into its place, and put the innocent-looking umbrella back upon the table. As she moved away to leave the brightly lit room she saw something lying on the floor. It was Peter's green cravat which he had taken off and held dangling in his hand. She picked it up and then automatically put it into the pocket of her jacket. She felt suddenly very tired and overwhelmed by grief. She thought
something awful has happened today
, it has happened to Lucas, no it has happened to Peter. It is a nightmare, no it is a
catastrophe.
Oh what suffering there is. I feel so tired, I want so much to go home and to
sleep
. As she reached the door she met Louise.
BOOK: The Green Knight
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