The Heart-Shaped Emblor (The Ewlishash Series) (20 page)

He nodded as he looked from side to side. “Well, it does have character.” He wasn’t poking fun, but I could still see a curl to the corner of his mouth.

“Huh,” I huffed. “That’s an understatement. I would like it to be a different color, but I’m afraid to end up with a circus in here.”

Alexander chuckled. “Maybe when all this is over, I can help you repaint your room.” He shot me a curious look.

“What’s that look for?” His distractions were working nicely.

“We haven’t discussed what’s going to happen after you turn eighteen. I’m not sure what your plan is.”

I looked around the room, as if it would give me answers. “I’m not sure either.” I bit my lip.

“For some reason, I don’t quite believe you.” Though he sounded serious, his grin held amusement.

“Okay,” I admitted. “Before I found out what I was, I planned to work an apprenticeship while I finished up with all my non artsy classes, but…” I met his gaze. “Things aren’t working out how I thought they would. I hadn’t planned to turn eighteen so soon, and now, I’m not sure what’s best for me. Or for us if you’re included in my decision making process. The truth is, I have no idea how much all of this is going to affect my life. So my plans are kind of moot at this point.”

Alexander’s face turned serious. “First, you’re plans aren’t moot. You can balance being Ewlishash and day-to-day life, just as I do. Second, do you
want
me to be part of your decision-making process?”

“I’m not sure. I really don’t know what to expect.”

“Then don’t expect anything. Just let fate unfurl before you.” He smiled compassionately, and his hair fell into his eyes, making my heart flutter.

When the phone finally rang and interrupted our conversation, I didn’t know if I should be nervous, or glad that I didn’t have to talk about the future anymore. My fears of becoming a Tirate could come true. Ultimately, I had to swallow the bile threatening to rise, and listen.

“Kiera?” Alexander began. “Uh huh, yeah… Did they say why this may be happening?” He bobbed his head up and down, silently agreeing with what she said. “Well, I have no idea, but I will. After what I learned about Yasmine, nothing surprises me anymore.” Frustration crept into his voice. “Keep searching. I won’t leave her until we know what’s going on.” He waited. “Talk to you as soon as I have something. Bye.”

I waited impatiently, almost glaring at Alexander until he spilled all.

“The Jarwin aren’t saying anything.” His voice hardened.

“Why?” My breath caught. “That doesn’t make any sense! If they know something, they should tell me.” But I was pleading with the wrong person.

“I agree.” Alexander began to pace uncomfortably across my room.

“Then why aren’t they? Did I not pass the test after all?” He could hear the alarm in my voice and rushed to my side. He pulled me onto the futon with him, holding my hands in his.

“Kiera said the only one of the Jarwin who admits having knowledge is the head, the one who passed you against some of the others’ denials. But he refuses to give details. Whatever his reasoning is, I can’t say I agree.” He stared blankly at the wall. “All he said was that he wants me to help you through. Keep you on the right path. He told Kiera, ‘all will be revealed in time,’ but for now, keep doing what you’re doing.”

“This is insanity! What do they expect me to do? Just follow them blindly? Why won’t they be honest with me?” My voice shook with fury.

“Believe me, I wish I knew. I feel so helpless trying to protect you when I have no idea what’s happening.” He sounded as frustrated as I felt. “Please understand, this is all very strange. The Jarwin never keep secrets from each other. For the head of the Jarwin to do this,” Alexander shook his head, “the others must be worried. Everything about you and your experiences seems to have them baffled. All except the leader.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” I admitted. “Why would only the Jarwin’s leader know about me? What could be so strange that he wouldn’t tell the others?” I was concerned. Did his secrecy have anything to do with my father?

“I have no idea, Aislinn, but the time is coming. It will probably be tonight. All the signs are here. I will just have to stay with you until the change happens.”

“Tonight? What if I’m not ready?” I couldn’t even think with so much rushing at me.

He looked at me seriously. “You are ready. Once you accept that, things will be much smoother. I won’t leave you, I promise.”

“But my friends—” I tried to plead, but he interrupted.

“Can’t see a ghost,” he reassured me.

“Oh,” I groaned. “Right.”

“Well…” Alexander leaned back into the futon. “Since the Jarwin won’t tell us anything about you, we’ll just have to figure things out on our own.”

“We’ll?” I echoed, a bit more chipper at the thought of him still wanting to help me, even if my dad might have been evil.

“Of course. I couldn’t let you figure this out all on your own, now could I?”

“Thank you.” I could feel blood rushing to my cheeks. “I know I was mad last night, but the truth is, I really do want you here with me. Something about you makes me feel safe. I need you here.”

Alexander’s half-grin became a full-blown smile, and he pulled me closer to him. “There is something I’ve been meaning to do,” he whispered and pulled me even closer. His lips lightly brushed mine. So gently that had I not kept my eyes open, I would not have believed we made contact.

We lingered there a moment, and it took all my might not to thrust myself into him and kiss him passionately. The past week had felt like a lifetime with him already. I looked forward to the time when we could be free to learn about each other rather than about my messed-up history.

I could feel his breath in my mouth. It smelled of mint, and his skin was smooth and warm. I couldn’t resist anymore. With a slight push, I crushed my lips onto his completely. I could feel his hesitation, but I didn’t back away.

Finally, reluctantly, he caressed my cheek and pulled my face into his. The heat that rushed through me far outweighed anything I’d experienced with Cooper. I felt like I could float. The desire that had been building in me since my very first dream of Alexander finally broke through.

I could tell the heat was the same for him, because he wrapped his arms around my back and pushed his lips even harder into mine. This time, he caressed my top lip with his tongue. My body screamed.

Alexander’s fingers followed my neckline down, and I assumed he was about to unbutton my shirt, but he stopped. He removed his lips from mine and pulled me onto his lap to straddle him.

The heat rushed to a completely different part of my body. A whole new desire tried to overtake me, but Alexander stopped me, pulling my face up to his. He met my gaze, freezing me right where I sat.

“Aislinn.” He spoke so softly that I almost couldn’t hear him. “Please, we must stop.” He turned his head to the side and leaned in to hug me.

Despite my body’s protests to the contrary, I knew deep down that he was right.

He spoke again, sounding barely able to control himself. “I can’t go any further… Not like this, not until…” He stopped before explaining any more.

I sighed. “Okay. But can you at least hold me?”

“Of course. But we have to keep under control. It would be really bad if you thought about the change while we were… Well, you get the idea.” His voice held a great deal of concern.

I got up, and he helped me pull the futon into a bed so we could lie back down and snuggle.

“When are your friends due back?” He was different now, like he was having difficulty restraining himself.

“No clue,” I admitted. “I think Mel is still with her mom, and the guys were going to hang with Austin for a while so I could have time with my parents. Since they don’t know about my parents leaving, we might be okay for a bit longer. They will probably come back this evening.”

“Good.” Alexander pulled me into him again, but this time he didn’t allow me to face him.

Despite his attempts to cool the situation, feeling him still sent the burning sensation through my body. I was content to stay like that for as long as he would let me. I pushed into his body, now radiating passion, and pulled his arm over my side. Eventually, my heavy eyes got the better of me.

THE CHANGE

I
shivered and rolled over to face Alexander. His mouth rested peacefully closed as he slept. The sun drifted in lines through the window, lighting just the peaks of his cheek and forehead. I smiled internally, letting the gentle wheeze of his breath relax the ache that moved through my body.

When the dull throb causing my shivers refused to cease, I headed to the bathroom to splash some warm water on my face. As I patted my cheeks dry, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My breath caught in my throat, and the towel fell to the floor.

“Alexander!”

The thud of Alexander falling off the futon echoed toward the bathroom. “What? You okay?” Stumbling over the scattered shoes on the floor, he ran to me. “What is it?” But he didn’t need me to answer. As soon as he saw my face, he smiled sheepishly. “
Oh
.”

“Oh?” I cried. “Is that all you can say? Is this normal?”

“Yes,” he assured me. “
Very
normal for you.”

I looked into the mirror again, at my translucent face. I could see the blood flowing through my veins, the striations of my jaw muscles, the fatty tissue over my cheekbones. What would I do if my roommates came home now?

“What time is it?” The possibility of my roommates getting home and seeing me like that put me over the edge.

Alexander looked around until he located the clock. “One.”

“Good,” I sighed in relief. “The guys are probably just waking up and shouldn’t be home for a while. I need to figure something out. Changing with anyone home and fully awake wasn’t something I anticipated.”

“Me neither. Usually, people change at midnight. You must be very eager to get on with it. Your change seems to have started at noon.” Though I felt mortified, Alexander seemed very hopeful, beaming his toothy smile at me.

“What am I going to do?”

“Stop panicking, first of all.” His warm hands rubbed my back in assurance. “You’re strong. Otherwise, this wouldn’t be happening until midnight. So relax and trust yourself.” Alexander pulled me into the bedroom again. “Second,” he announced as he located my bag, “we need to get some things packed for you, and you are going to stay the night at Hope’s house again.”

“Good idea,” I agreed.

I ran upstairs to leave a note for everyone and quickly headed back to my room to throw some things into my bag. Alexander was already on the phone. When he hung up, he looked at me with reassurance.

“Tellah says we can stay there tonight. No problem.” Alexander spoke in a confident manner, but the sound of Tellah’s name sent a shiver of jealousy through me. I must have grimaced, because Alexander frowned.

“That was Tellah on the phone?”

“Of course. Why would I ask Hope, who then has to ask Tellah and then get back to me? That’s silly. Why not go straight to the source? It’s not Hope’s house.”

“Oh.”

“You sound irritated. Are you still not over the whole ‘way Tellah looked at me’ thing?” His face hardened.

“You don’t have to be a jerk about it.”

“Just so you understand, I will not have you being rude to her today. You have no idea how far out of her way she’s gone for us, in this life and the past. So be nice, Aislinn. Appreciate her offer to let you stay tonight. She’s doing you a favor.”

“I do appreciate her offer, but when I hear that you talked to her, it makes me… mad.” My honesty made me feel ridiculous. Tellah was twice my age and not the most attractive of people. I felt flushed when I realized how childish I was being.

“Of course you get mad,” he announced with obvious understanding. “If Tellah has feelings she has difficulty explaining, why wouldn’t you? Whether anger, jealousy, or even buried guilt, you should feel something. The only difference is that Tellah understands that her feelings stem from another time. Therefore, she reasons with herself until those feelings subside.” Alexander shot me an irritated glance. “I wish you would do the same.”

“I have enough to worry about right now. I don’t need this as well.” I was frustrated with Alexander’s lack of compassion, even if I knew he was right. I would try harder to push aside those feelings toward her. “I’ll try.”

Alexander’s smile returned. “Are you ready?”

“I think so.” I scanned the room to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. “Yup.”

“Do you mind if I drive? I don’t think it would be too good if you began to think about your state of being and suddenly changed while driving down the road.” Alexander’s sparkling eyes brought our kiss to the forefront of my mind. I flushed and had to look away.

“You’re probably right,” I acknowledged, keeping my gaze firmly on the ground.

Alexander chuckled, drawing my eyes back to his face. He had to have been thinking about our kiss too, because he blushed, and the corner of his mouth curled upward.

“Let’s get going.” He took my hand gently and slung my bag over his shoulder.

I ran through the house like a mad woman, trying to turn everything off and lock up. My thoughts kept threatening to get the better of me, and I almost left the sliding glass door cracked.

Before we walked outside, Alexander pulled me to him. I anticipated him kissing me, but he restrained himself. Instead, he brushed his cheek up against mine, heat rushing through me like a shot of rum.

He ran his finger over my lips, tracing every curve of them before whispering in my ear, “Soon we’ll be free to get to know one another in a normal fashion.” Then he touched his forehead to mine and pulled me out the door.

The nosy neighbor watched from across the street, filling my chest with heavy panic. I hoped that she couldn’t see my translucent skin from a distance. That would surely start some neighborhood gossip, or worse.

Feeling my tension, Alexander rubbed my hand. “Don’t worry about this now. If something comes up, we’ll deal with it later.”

“Huh,” I huffed, biting my lip. We should have been more careful. I got into the passenger side of my car and tried to relax.

When we reached Hope’s house, everyone was eating lunch. It made me realize that I still hadn’t eaten anything. Alexander sat down at the table like one of the family, digging in.

“You hungry?” He turned back to me.

“Not really. I haven’t been hungry all day,” I admitted.

“That happens, but you should try to eat a little. You’ll have more strength for later.” I didn’t feel hungry. Alexander, however, had no trouble at all stuffing his mouth.

He looked at Tellah. “This is delicious.” He smiled as he spoke, and a stab of jealousy jabbed my gut.

I wanted to say something to him, but his warning from earlier kept me from making a stupid comment that I knew I would regret later. A single tear escaped my eye, and I was embarrassed for my earlier behavior. I turned to Tellah.

“Thank you for letting us stay the night tonight, Tellah. I really appreciate your generosity.” I tried to keep my voice steady. Truly, I was happy she had been so kind to me. If I had stolen Alexander away in a past life, then she was being very understanding.

I thought about the way I felt toward Jaden. I knew what it felt like to lose a guy to someone else. It didn’t matter that she was twice my age and that it hadn’t happened in our current life. It had happened, and she still felt the sting.

Tellah had a soft expression. “You’re welcome, dear. I’m glad to be able to help.” She walked over to me and placed her free arm around my shoulder. I had to take a deep breath to stay composed, which she seemed to sense. “It gets easier, I promise.”

I nodded.

Without needing guidance, I walked upstairs to the guest room and put my stuff on the bed. Alexander had already piled several days’ worth of clothes on the bed. How had he known to bring them, and why were there so many? Would this take days? Shaking my head in confusion, I made my way back downstairs and sat next to Alexander.

“I see you packed already.”

He looked up at me nervously.

“Actually,” he hesitated. “I’m going to try to be honest with you from now on, as much as I can, anyway. So please don’t be upset.” Alexander looked at Tellah, then back at me. “I’ve been staying here for a while.”

Everyone’s faces went rigid.

“What do you mean a while?” I tried to stay calm, but I already felt my temper rising.

“I’ve been here since we met in town.” With every word, my veins burned hotter. Alexander tried to keep his voice steady. “Please don’t be angry.”

I sat up straight, placing my food back on my plate. Trying not to overreact, I took a few deep breaths until I felt color leave my face. “Why?”

“Well,” he continued. “After we talked that day, Hope got really angry with me. We disagreed on how much information was appropriate to share with you. I already knew Kiera from the Jarwin meetings, and since we were both going to her for guidance, Kiera suggested that this phase of your transition would be easier if Hope and I were on the same page. She spoke with Tellah and moved me into the guest room.” Alexander looked slowly into my eyes, probably out of fear that I would fly off the handle, but I stayed calm.

“I understand,” I said, keeping my eyes focused on my plate. “You moved in here to help me. That’s why you knew where Hope’s room was, and why you didn’t introduce yourself to anyone.” My voice sounded stoic.

“You can have a little more emotion than that, Aislinn,” he assured. “I didn’t ask you not to feel anything, just not to be angry.”

“I don’t really care, Alexander. Everyone lies to me, I never get answers when I want them, and now my face looks like I have no skin. Nothing much surprises me anymore.”

Everyone seemed pleased that I hadn’t freaked out, but I still saw looks of confusion, worry, and frustration on their faces.

Kiera approached me, graceful and light in her walk. “Aislinn,” she spoke like a ruler, a person of authority. “Maybe what I tell you will surprise you.”

My eyes traced up the form of Kiera, who, at only five, seemed to tower over me in my chair. “What’s that?”

“I’m not a child.”

I stared at her for a moment, stunned by her comment. “What do you mean?”

“There are still so many things that you don’t know. I am not Hope’s biological sister, and I am not Tellah’s daughter, although we are related. I am not even from this place.” Kiera sat next to me with the grace of a swan. “I want you to know something about yourself.” She met my eyes. “This is extremely important; take it to heart. You are different from all of us. You are a symbol of something that is much bigger than you could possibly understand. That is why your eternal memory has been wiped from you in this life.”

She waited for her words to sink in. “Why?” A lump began to grow in my throat, bringing back the ache that refused to stay suppressed.

“You chose this, Aislinn. Don’t ever forget that.” Kiera spoke with poise. “The only things that have been kept from you are the things about yourself that put you in danger. You set up your life so that the truth will be revealed to you exactly when you have the wisdom and courage to deal with it. No sooner.

“For now, all you need to know is that you are different… even from Alexander. Because of that, you will have abilities that no one else does. Even now, your constant struggle, back or forth? Up or down? Call or don’t call? You are constantly arguing with yourself. There is a reason, and it is because of that reason that we have all gone to such lengths to protect you.

“We cannot give you all the answers, as we do not have them. You gave each of us something you needed and the desire to share it with you at exactly the moment you intended. You can’t find something out before you intended too. That is why even the Jarwin do not know much about you. You intended that as well.”

Kiera took my hand and lowered her voice. “A mentor is going to suggest something to you soon. Take his offer. And please, stop fighting us. Now is your time to change. Let us make this as pleasant as we can.” Her petite and youthful face held a smile.

“All right.” I spoke so softly that I could barely hear it myself.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. All I could hear was the drip-drop of water from the leaky faucet. Entirely too much time passed before anyone said anything, allowing my thoughts to center on what Kiera had said. Now was my time to change.

“Do you mean now… right now?” My heart beat faster as I spoke.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Alexander grinned.

“Then why…?” I wanted to ask all kinds of questions. Why had we needed to rush over here? Why hadn’t I just changed when I realized my face was not so solid? But I knew the answer. I hadn’t thought to change. I expected it to happen on its own, and that wasn’t possible. “Never mind. Should we do it here or in the living room?” My stomach filled with butterflies.

Alexander stood up, wiping his face, his smile radiant. “How about we go outside? The only ones allowed to see the change are Kiera and me. A living-room display might cause trouble.”

“What about the vortex?” My nerves were now on high alert.

“That’s only a concern if you’re inside the ring of trees. As long as we’re in the yard, we’ll be safe.”

“Right.” My mood lifted greatly now that my time had come. I pointed my finger at Alexander in a flirtatious sort of way and stood. “Let’s go.”

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled. “I have to say, I’m glad to see that you’re excited. I was beginning to worry.”

“I’m sooo ready! Let’s do this.” Excitement filled me.

Alexander scooted his chair in with a loud screech and turned to Kiera. “Do you want to join us?”

“No, thank you.” She shook her head. “It would be better for you two to be alone.”

Alexander nodded and waved to those we were leaving in the kitchen. “See you guys in a while, then.”

When we reached the yard, Alexander took me to an area where we would be out of sight from the windows. My stomach continued to flutter as I sought solid ground on which to try the change. It was difficult, but I finally managed to find a place with no snow.

“You ready?”

“As ready as possible,” I replied anxiously.

Through his excited expression, a serious side emerged. “Do you remember what I told you about how to make yourself change?”