The Hidden Library (31 page)

“I cannot believe it.” Frippleton is a border town between the Hearts and Whites lands. The Reds dared to move that far into enemy territory?

He holds up a hand. “My advisors and I were discussing what must be done to launch a campaign to take it back when I was given word a most unexpected visitor had arrived.” Then, more softly, “You see, it was your Finn Van Brunt.”

Finn
had
gone to Wonderland, just as I feared. I glance around the room, but Finn is not here. How could I, for even a moment, forgotten to search for him? Where is he? Why is he not here, too?

“He was bloody and dirty and in the company of the Hatter and Grimsdyke. He risked moving through a highly dangerous area to get to me. The Hatter informed my soldiers they were attacked on the journey, yet Finn was able to successfully best them in combat.”

“The Hatter is a coward,” Grymsdyke says from his perch on the bed. “Sir Finn and I did all the work.” And then, more gruffly, “He did most of the work. I fear I failed him in that regard.”

Finn’s life was put in danger. This is unacceptable.

“Nonetheless, your Finn came, Alice, because he was desperate to save you.”

My hands shake as I stroke the Cheshire’s soft fur. “Where—”

“Your Majesty, it was determined that you were infected with a boojum.”

My eyes fly down the Cheshire, a sickening dread spreading in the pit of my belly. “What?!”

“From what Finn told us, we determined it could be nothing else than a boojum,” Jace continues. During the next several minutes, they tell me of how supplies were gathered once the determination was made and of how they were under siege twice during their journey to the rabbit hole. He tells me of how Finn refused to give up on me and was the one to set my poultice.

The lingering painful resignation and yet acceptance in Jace’s eyes over this cuts me to the bone. And still, I cannot marvel at how large this man’s heart is. He stood back and allowed Finn to be the one to seal the magic.

Love is so terribly, devastatingly cruel and wondrous all at the same time.

“There is so much I want to say,” I whisper. “But for now, I offer up my deepest gratitude that you dear, beloved souls came in my time of need.”

The King places his fist over his heart and lowers his head. The Cat rubs his head against my hand, purring. Grymsdyke lowers himself into a bow.

My voice cracks. “I have missed you all so much, yet . . .”

“He is down the hallway, in a place called the Lab,” the Cheshire says. “His Majesty and the doctor forced him to rest, though he protested. He is a stubborn one. He even berated us all when he didn’t feel we were answering him as quickly as he wished. I rather like this about him. He would make an excellent Wonderlandian.”

I let out a choke of a laugh.

“Let me fetch him for you,” Jace says, but I hold a trembling hand up.

“I will go there. It will do me good to stretch my legs after a few days of not being able to do so.” And then, more quietly, “You will not leave yet?”

A ghost of a smile curves a mouth I know as well as I do my own. “Not yet. Soon, though. There is Frippleton to take care of.”

The Cheshire jumps off me so the King may help me to my feet. So much of me yearns to pull him into my arms, to bury my nose in the crook of his neck.

I let his hand go instead.

The trio accompanies me down the empty hallway, afraid, I think, of me falling face first. But my legs, as weak as they may feel, are strong. My footsteps are sure and steady.

Inside the lab, I find Victor dozing whilst sitting on a stool. His face rests on arms crossed upon a table.

“We will go speak to Finn’s father,” the White King whispers closer to my ear. “There is much to discuss before our departure.”

I nod. Jace and the Cat leave; Grymsdyke remains. He scuttles across the room, toward a door in the back. His coarse whisper beckons, “Here, Your Majesty.”

Sure enough, upon a small bed crammed up against a wall, lays Finn. He’s on his side, his hands curled into fists, and he’s breathing deeply. He’s also filthy—blood, mud, and sweat cake his skin, hair, and coat.

My heart aches, it is so full right now.
He did not give up on me.

I crawl onto the bed next to him, shrugging one of his heavy arms around me. I then slip an arm beneath his coat to curve around his warm body. I press my forehead against his chest and breathe him in. I don’t smell dirt or violence. All I smell is love.

Finn went to Wonderland on his own. He risked potential death from my spiders and then fought his way to reach my former lover. He begged help of someone other men whose hearts are not so large or wise would abhor and envy, and he brought the same man back to the Institute to aid in my healing.

He completed an ancient yet rare blood magic ritual to save me from a creature unseen and nearly forgotten in Wonderlandian history. Does he know that he did so? Is he aware of what his actions symbolize? His intent? Does he realize that one of the reasons boojums were so devastating was that it took not only royal blood for the infestation cure, but that from only the purest of true love?

Jace knew this, and yet he came anyway. He stood by and provided Finn the means to work this ancient magic even though he could have completed it all on his own.

The arm around me tightens, and a tiny sob I refuse to free chokes my throat. A kiss is pressed against the top of my head. The knot in my throat intensifies. I clutch at Finn’s shirt, not wanting to ever let go. Each beat of my heart reminds me how much I love this man. Each beat of his, heard as I press my face against his warm chest, reminds me of how much he loves me.

I am so very, very lucky.

His voice is husky. Sleepy. “Are you in any pain?”

“No,” I whisper in return. All I feel right now is love. Immense, incandescent, overwhelming true love.

“Obviously you can move?”

Because of him. Because of his love. “Yes.”

“We’re going to find her,” he says, and this only further illuminates what I already know.
He knows my heart.

I press a kiss against his dirty chest. “I know.”
We
will, my partner and I. “And you? How do you fare?”

“I’m fine.”

“I meant . . .” I trace a finger to hover over his heart. The events of St. Petersburg are not so far away.

I feel rather than see the shake of his head. He is not ready to talk about it. It is okay, though. I will be here when and if he does.

Gentle fingers tug through my messy hair as we lay together in silence. I am content here. The world around us grows more complex, more terrifying, yet here in this tiny room in Mary’s lab, lying upon a bed with Finn, I am content.

And Finn thinks I know nothing about
once upon a time
. . .

Once upon a time, I planned of a life with a wonderful man. We had so many beautiful dreams together. When the prophecies tore us apart, I feared I would never love again. I did not want to, to be honest. How could I, when I’d already found true love?

“Would you like to hear a Wonderlandian fairy tale?” I ask Finn.

He kisses the top of my head again. “Yes.”

“Once upon a time, in the mists of ages past, there were more Courts within the lands, more than just the Diamond, White, Red, and Hearts. There were also those of the Black and Spades. The Spades Court was magnificent and admired throughout the land. The King was fair, the Queen generous, and their people prospered. For many years, no babe was born to them, although it was their greatest wish. It wasn’t until a trip to the Sage was made that their hopes would come to fruition. A sacrifice was offered to the land, and within a year, a princess’ birth delighted all far and wide.

“The Princess was beloved by both her parents and those who lived under Spades banners. She grew up precocious and intelligent, charming even those Monarchs of the other Courts. Conveniently, the Black Court had a prince a few years older than the Spades Princess. He was handsome and wise, and as the years passed and the two grew, they fell in love.

“This was not a problem for Wonderland, as there was no guarantee either the Spades Princess or the Black Prince would ever be chosen to rule after their parents’ deaths. Chances were against them—it was, and still is, exceedingly rare for heirs to assume crowns. Even still, such children retain the right to their titles after birth and become part of the nobility of the land. So, when it was announced that the Spades Princess and the Black Prince wished to wed, there was much celebration rather than fear.

“Two days before the ceremony, the Black Prince disappeared. Nobody knew where he had gone or why. Contingencies from both Spades and Black Courts searched high and low for him. Two days after the wedding date, his body was found near a riverbank in Hearts land. The Prince’s heart had been cut out of his chest and replaced with a stone shaped as a Spade.

“The Black Court was in an uproar. The Spades Princess was inconsolable. Her love had been taken from her, and his heart was forever gone. In its place was a symbol of her parents’ Court, which many saw as a declaration of war. Accusations flew. Both the Spades and Hearts Courts denied any responsibility of abduction or murder. The land lamented, the people raged. Joy turned to bitterness.

“Riddled by grief, the Black Monarchs demanded the heart of the Spades Princess as payment. Unwilling to allow her people to be ravaged by the cost of war, and despite the pleadings of her sovereigns, the Princess agreed as long as her sacrifice would ensure the fighting would end. The truth was, though, not so altruistic. She had lost her will to live now that her love was gone forevermore.

“On the journey to the Black Court, the princess met a Unicorn in the forest. It was having tea and invited her to join. She did, and during the course of their afternoon, she told him her sad tale. ‘My lover is dead,’ she cried. ‘My life means nothing without him. What do I care if my heart is removed?’

“‘That is a very stupid thing to say, let alone believe,’ the Unicorn told her.

“‘You have obviously never been in love,’ she argued.

“‘I have many times before, and if I am lucky, many times after today,’ the Unicorn replied. ‘I am in love with this tea, for example. I am in love with how the sky turns lilac before it storms. I am in love with the smell of roses when they dance under the full moon and I am in love with sugar cubes.’

“”Those are things, not people,’ the Princess exclaimed. ‘It is not the same!’

“‘When I was a young colt, I was in love with a beautiful filly. She chose to mate with an idiot, and when I was eighteen, I fell in love with a Turtle. Her family objected to our pairing, saying a Uniurtle would only serve to embarrass them come the holidays, and she chose them. When I was twenty-three, I fell in love with another Unicorn. She was beautiful and sweet but as the years passed, we grew apart, as some must do. She now lives on White lands and has found love again. As I still love her deeply, I rejoice in knowing she is happy.’

“‘It cannot have been true love,’ the Princess insisted. ‘If it was, life would lose its meaning.’

“‘It is the best kind of true love,’ the Unicorn countered. ‘True love does not have limits or restrictions. True love allows a person to love deeply and unconditionally. True love does not ask you to let go of life. True love encourages you to love even more, Princess. True love encourages you to live.’

“The Princess would not listen, though. She finished her tea and thanked him for his hospitality. She finished her journey to the Black Court and presented herself to their vengeance.

“Her heart was carved out and replaced with a blackened rock. It took four days for her body to reach the Spades Court. In the end, the Spades Princess and the Black Prince did not lay together in death. His body was interned in Black land forevermore, hers within Spades territory. Many years later, a rogue Gryphon confessed to the Prince’s death. He thought he was doing the Prince a favor by giving a heart in the shape of the Prince’s beloved’s Court. He was apologetic and remorseful and more than a bit confused by anatomy. The Unicorn fell in love again, when he was forty-eight and silver haired. It was with a Sheep who cared very little about what others thought of such unions. Their life was a wonderful one, filled with much love and happiness. When death came to claim them many years later, there were no regrets.”

Finn says nothing. His warm hand still strokes my hair, his steady heartbeat still thumps below my cheek.

I hope he knows what I have just told him.

Beyond the room, Victor is saying, “Mary would love to meet you. Shall we go find her?” And then the lab lights turn off and a door shuts.

I shift on the bed until I’m level with Finn. There is dirt smudged on his face, a nasty, crusty cut across his ear. He is the most beautiful thing in the world to me.

True love encourages you to live.

Thank goodness for true love.

My lips find his. Our kiss is soft and beautiful. Eventually, it grows hungrier. I’m pushing off his coat when he murmurs, “Your back.”

My back is perfect, thanks to him. “I guess this means I’ll have to be on top. Which really isn’t asking too much, as it is my preference anyway.”

He helps with the coat and then with all the rest of our clothes. He’s gentle when sliding the ridiculous medical gown I’ve been forced to wear off. Fingers trace my spine, down to the bandage at its base.

I kiss him again. Kiss his mouth and his neck and his chest. He kisses me, too, his hands writing our love story all over my body. When our bodies join together, moving in the best of rhythms, it’s languidly delicious. We take our time. I stare down in his blue-gray eyes and he stares up in mine.

My heart is impossibly full.