The Highwayman (Rakes and Rogues of the Restoration Book 3) (26 page)

“I only meant to encourage her, but she misunderstood me and took it as a promise. She has been through a great deal. It took courage for her to change her life as she has done. Besides, she is barely more than a child. Surely you don’t begrudge her one dance. What was I to do?”

“Barely more than a child? She is a child who knows her way around soldiers well enough. She is a child who knows her way around you. I am no fool, Jack. Your little friend is a prostitute.”

“She
was
a prostitute. She didn’t choose that life. She was sold into it by her own father and she is building a new life now. And what difference does that make? Can a prostitute not have dreams and feelings? Can she not be hurt? Need help?”

“You know a good deal about her for a woman you don’t know very well. I suppose men like you who have no ties and frequent taverns are familiar with such women.”

“Yes. Men like me are. My mother was one, you know. A prostitute.”

“What? But you said she was a lady.”

“Yes. People can change, for better or for worse. She wasn’t always a whore. My father made her one. He said at least he got some money from her that way. There
was
no one to help her. She escaped by dying.”

“Jack…I…” Her words trailed off. She didn’t know what to say. It seemed his involvement with the girl had been innocent, at least on his part. It all made sense. By helping her he must feel in a way that he helped his mother. What a nightmare his childhood must have been, and yet in his own way, he had grown into a fine man.

“I know exactly what you meant by men like me, Arabella. Let me tell you something about women like you. They are spoiled and entitled. They never had to work for what they have, and yet somehow they think that they deserve it. They honor and respect wealth, privilege, rank, but few if any of them would bother to honor a commitment to someone they imagine beneath them. People like you feel themselves more important than everyone around them. I kept a promise to a girl who trusted me. It was her first dance at her first ball. You make it out to be some personal slight against you. All it was, was a dance.”

His words hit her like physical blows and she could not help but strike back. “You think you know me, but you don’t. I was born into wealth. Yes, that is true. But I work hard for what I have, and for the people who depend on me. Even on this journey I visit places and talk with people who can teach me things that will benefit the people who count on me at home. It’s called responsibility, Jack. What do you know of that to lecture me this way? All you are responsible for are your weapons and your horse! And don’t tell me it was
just
a dance. You have made it clear that is all it was to you, but it was more than that to me. You are not the only one who takes risks here.”

She looked left and then right, and lowered her voice. “If who I am were discovered and word got back to London, you could ride away and not be harmed by it. Swift Nick and a countess. It would only add luster to your name. But I risk ruin, and not just of my name and fortune. You are a highwayman! Not an ex-highwayman or a reformed highwayman. You robbed my friends in London and I didn’t say a word. You made me an accomplice.

“Why do you think I went to that dance with you? I trusted you.
I
thought it was more than just a dance. I thought it was a step forward from where…from where we were the other night. I thought it meant something. I thought it meant something to you, too. I would have been hurt had you taken the first dance with
any
woman in that room, even the wife of the Lord Mayor, and do you know why? Because I am convinced that if two people really care for one another, then their partner
should
be the most important person in the room.”

Jack raked his fingers through his hair. Of course she was the most important person in the room. How could she think otherwise? It was she he had invited wasn’t it? Hadn’t he chased her from one corner of England to the next? He had even come to apologize, damn it! But when she had said ‘people like you’ she had offended him and touched a nerve that he hadn’t realized was so raw.
I am no whoremonger, yet she was so quick to believe it of me.
He didn’t feel like defending himself. If she thought no better of him than that, then so be it. For the moment, he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Arabella…perhaps it’s best we take some time to think before we say anything more, lest we say things we might later regret.”

“I agree,” she said stiffly, though her bottom lip was trembling and she was close to tears. She had just poured her heart out to him, told him how much she cared, reminded him of the risks she took to be with him, and that was all he had to say?

He gave her a formal bow. “I would escort you back to your room but as you have just pointed out, you are quite capable of finding your way on your own.”

“Yes.” She didn’t return his smile.

He leapt down to the courtyard from the balcony, rather than take the stairs. She watched him mount his horse, remembering the first time she had seen him ride away. That time he had taken her necklace. This time he left with her heart, though like the necklace, it seemed the theft had been an impulse and he was careless of the value.

“Jack,” she called, just as he wheeled his mount to ride away. There were tears streaming down her cheeks, but he would not hear them in her voice.

He stopped and turned and looked up at her. “Yes?”

“It was my first ball, and it would have been my first dance, too.”

His muffled curse was lost on the breeze as he turned and rode away.

Arabella returned to her room to find Caroline waiting by a cheerful fire. “I thought I told you not to wait up. You look drawn and tired. You should be in your bed.” She felt a stab of guilt. Where was the glowing country lass that had started on their journey? The constant strain of travel had not agreed with her, and worn her to a shadow of herself.
I have been selfish and irresponsible, thinking only of myself. I should have taken her home long ago
.

“I heard raised voices, my lady. One of them was yours.”

Arabella felt a moment of panic as she tried to remember what had been said. Surely nothing that might give Jack away to the other guests? “What did you hear, Caroline. It is important.”

“I couldn’t make out the words, my lady, just the tone.” The girl colored a bit. “Not that I was trying. You sounded upset. Possibly angry, and then it went quiet.”

Arabella sighed her relief. She might be hurt and disappointed at being abandoned by Jack yet again, but the man had saved her life and stood as her protector. She would never knowingly endanger him by blurting out his secrets and she had been careful to check her surroundings and lower her voice, but one lost track at times in the heat of an argument, forgetting that others might be listening. She would have a care never to do so again.

“It was just a misunderstanding. Nothing to worry about. I have been thinking, though. We have been too long on the road. We will be leaving for London tomorrow by coach. It’s past time we paid a visit home.

~

Arabella was greeted by an unpleasant surprise the next morning, when a smug-looking Peg, who had at least stuffed some lace down the bodice of another garish dress, presented her with her bill.

“Sixteen shillings? But this is outrageous! I will not pay such a sum. It is twice what they charge In London.” She pushed the bill back across the counter.

“I am so sorry, Miss Hamilton.” The girl smiled sweetly and pushed it back. “Being so far from London like this we have to pay extra, you see. Transportation costs and the like.”

“All your food is locally grown. It should cost less, not more,” Arabella snapped, as she shoved it back.

“You ate the food and you slept in the bed, and now you must pay the accounting. It’s not my fault if you didn’t ask the cost beforehand.”

The girl’s eyes were hard and her smile was mean and it was clear she was getting some sense of enjoyment from their petty battle. Arabella looked at her closely, trying to see what Jack saw in her. The plucky determined survivor. The courageous victim. But all she saw was vindictiveness, malice and greed.
She reminds me a little of Lady Grantham
.
She is not a nice woman, and I wager she would not be even had she been raised in luxury and safety.

“Well?” The girl demanded insolently, rolling her eyes and tapping her fingers on the counter. Will you pay the bill? Or shall I send for a constable?”

“You may send for the landlord, my girl. My arrangement was with him, not you.” Arabella said, allowing a hint of the countess in her voice. Peg’s eyes grew sullen and wary.

“I am the landlady when he’s not about.” Her voice was a little defensive now.

“But he
is
about. I can see him in the parlor. Right over there. Shall I fetch him, or will you?”

Mr. Sullivan set things quickly to rights, hastening to apologize for his assistant’s mistake. “I will see that she is supervised more closely, Miss Hamilton. The mistake is mine for placing her in a position she is clearly not qualified for yet. I do hope you will forgive us and think kindly of the Angel. We would be mortified to have offended a friend of Swift Nick.”

Her account settled to her satisfaction, Arabella sat down in the travelers’ room with Caroline and ordered them both tea and toast for breakfast as they waited for their coach. She was done with adventuring for now and she couldn’t bear to see Jack again after last night. He had made his opinion of her clear. Lazy, spoiled, petty, and entitled. It was a wonder she hadn’t grated on his nerves sooner, and no wonder he’d dismissed what she’d thought was a brave step forward as just a dance. She came from a world he had no respect or use for beyond profit and amusement. She had been a fool to think a few kisses and one intimate dinner had made anything change. At least she knew now he was well and—

“My lady? Ma’am? Be you Miss Hamilton from London?”

Arabella turned to see a broad-shouldered, handsome youth with striking blue eyes and red hair tied back in a queue. He kept glancing from her to Caroline and back again, clearly fascinated with her wide-eyed maid.

“Yes,” she said carefully. I am Miss Hamilton. Who are you, and how do you know my name?”

“Doctor Alderson over at the Angel Ferrybridge told me, ma’am. He said you was a friend of Jack’s and might know where to find him.”

That surprised her. She didn’t meet Jack until after she left the inn at Ferrybridge. How could Doctor Alderson know they knew each other unless Jack had told him? “Do you mean John Nevison? The man they call Swift Nick?”

“Oh, aye! Yeah, him. Swift Nick. Do you know where I can find him ma’am? It’s very important.”

However important the young man’s message was, it seemed to pale in comparison with his fascination for Caroline. The lad could not seem to tear his eyes away.

“And your name is?”

“Oh, sorry, ma’am. I forgot my manners. My name is Allen. I don’t know the last one. I was born in an alley, so I was told. I’m a friend of his. Of Jack’s...Well, you know, Swift Nick. The doctor says you’re to be trusted. It’s very important I find him, my lady.” He darted a swift look at Caroline again. The girl’s face was suffused with a becoming blush.

I swear I haven’t seen her look so well in weeks!
Arabella looked the young man over with great curiosity. So this was the lad Jack had meant to tell her about someday. “Allen? Yes, he has spoken of you.”

Allen’s face lit up. “He won’t be pleased to see me. He don’t…he
does not
like me to leave Newark. But I have news that cannot wait.”

“Well, I am sorry, Allen, but I don’t know where he is at the moment, though he
is
still
in York, I expect. I saw him as recently as last night. My maid Caroline and I are returning to London, but I am sure if you wait for him here, he will show up before too long.”

“Thank you ma’am.”

He stood silently for a minute, watching her with a big grin.

“Is there aught amiss, Allen?”

“Oh no, nothing’s wrong, ma’am. It’s just that Jack has spoken of you, too. I’ve never known him to be sweet on a girl. I was thinking you must be something special to catch his eye and from the looks of it you are.”

“Why thank you, Allen. You are very kind. But Mr. Nevison and I are just good friends.”
Jack had spoken of her to his ward?
The lad thought Jack was ‘sweet’ on her?
A state of affairs Allen apparently viewed as rare and noteworthy. Perhaps she was being to hast—

“Come along, ladies. We’ve not got all day. Your baggage was loaded while you was nattering. We’ve got a schedule to keep. Let’s get the sickly looking one in first. Best put her by a window.” The coach hire had arrived.

Hooking Caroline’s arm and fighting her own sudden reluctance, Arabella ushered her maid and their baggage out the door. Jack’s ward flashed Caroline a smile as they pulled out of the courtyard and the girl leaned out the window to give him a little wave. They were three hours down the road before Arabella realized that she ought to have left a note. When she remembered that she had, she banged her forehead against the window with a quiet groan.

~

Immediately upon leaving Arabella’s side, Jack had set out for a gallop on the heath. It usually gave him the same relief that other man found in alcohol, but he found none that night. He knew she was right about Peg, and he cursed his own stupidity. He had bungled his apology out of pique at her leaving the dance, and made things worse by taking offense at her angry words. She had every right to be angry. He knew she risked a great deal to be with him and he had wanted to make the night a special one for her, just as she had for him when she wore her finest dress and proudly took his arm. Her first dance?
And her first ball
, he thought on a drawn-out sigh
.
He should have guessed by her remarks. He should have known when she asked how much skill was required.
Bloody hell!