The Hobbit (26 page)

Never mind that for the moment! What are we to do now, to-day? Well, if you really want my advice, I should say we can do nothing but stay where we are. By day we can no doubt creep out safely enough to take the air. Perhaps before long one or two could be chosen to go back to the store by the river and replenish our supplies. But in the meanwhile everyone ought to be well inside the tunnel by night.

Now I will make you an offer. I have got my ring and will creep down this very noon-then if ever Smaug ought to be napping-and see what he is up to. Perhaps something will turn up. Every worm has his weak spot, as my father used to say, though I am sure it was not from personal experience. Naturally the dwarves accepted the offer eagerly. Already they had come to respect little Bilbo. Now he had become the real leader in their adventure. He had begun to have ideas and plans of his own. When midday came he got ready for another journey down into the Mountain. He did not like it of course, but it was not so bad now he knew, more or less, what was in front of him. Had he known more about dragons and their wily ways, he might have teen more frightened and less hopeful of catching this one napping. The sun was shining when he started, but it was as dark as night in the tunnel. The light from the door, almost closed, soon faded as he went down. So silent was his going that smoke on a gentle wind could hardly have surpasses it, and he was inclined to feel a bit proud of himself as he drew near the lower door. There was only the very fainter glow to be seen. Old Smaug is weary and asleep, he thought. He cant, see me and he wont hear me. Cheer up Bilbo! He had forgotten or had never heard about dragons sense of smell.

It is also an awkward fact that they keep half an eye open watching while they sleep, if they are suspicious. Smaug certainly looked fast asleep, almost dead and dark, with scarcely a snore more than a whiff of unseen steam, when Bilbo peeped once more from the entrance. He was just about to step out on to the floor when he caught a sudden thin and piercing ray of red from under the drooping lid. of Smaugs left eye. He was only pretending to sleep! He was watching the tunnel entrance! Hurriedly Bilbo stepped back and blessed the luck of his ring. Then Smaug spoke.

Well, thief! I smell you and I feel your air. I hear your breath. Come along! Help yourself again, there is plenty and to spare! But Bilbo was not quite so unlearned in dragon-lore as all that, and if Smaug hoped to get him to come nearer so easily he was disappointed. No thank you, O Smaug the. Tremendous! he replied. I did not come for presents. I only wished to have a look at you and see if you were truly as great as tales say. I did not believe them.

Do you now? said the dragon somewhat flattered, even though he did not believe a word of it. j Truly songs and tales fall utterly short of the reality, O Smaug the Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities, replied Bilbo.

You have nice manners for a thief and a liar, said the dragon. You seem familiar with my name, but I dont seem to remember smelling you before. Who are you and where do you come from, may I ask?

You may indeed! I come from under the hill, and under hills and over the hills my paths led. And through the air, I am he that walks unseen. So I can well believe, said Smaug, but that is hardly our usual name. I am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly. I as chosen for the lucky number.

Lovely titles! sneered the dragon. But lucky numbers dont always come off.

I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water. I came from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me.

These dont sound so creditable, scoffed Smaug.

I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles. I am Ringwinner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider, went on Bilbo beginning to be pleased with his riddling.

Thats better! said Smaug. But dont let your imagination run away with you!

This of course is the way to talk to dragons, if you dont want to reveal your proper name (which is wise), and dont want to infuriate them by a flat refusal (which is also very wise). No dragon can resist the fascination of riddling talk and of wasting time trying to understand it. There was a lot here which Smaug did not understand at all (though I expect you do, since you know all about Bilbos adventures to which he was referring), but he thought he understood enough, and he chuckled in his wicked inside. I thought so last night, he smiled to himself. Lake-men, some nasty scheme of those miserable tub-trading Lake-men, or Im a lizard. I havent been down that way for an age and an age; but I will soon alter that! Very well, O Barrel-rider! he said aloud. Maybe Barrel was your ponys name; and maybe not, though it was fat enough. You may walk unseen, but you did not walk all the way. Let me tell you I ate six ponies last night and I shall catch and eat all the others before long. In return for the excellent meal I will give you one piece of advice for your good: dont have more to do with dwarves than you can help!

Dwarves! said Bilbo in pretended surprise.

Dont talk to me! said Smaug. I know the smell (and taste) of dwarf-no one better. Dont tell me that I can eat a dwarf-ridden pony and not know it! Youll come to a bad end, if you go with such friends. Thief Barrel-rider. I dont mind if you go back and tell them so from me.

But he did not tell Bilbo that there was one smell he could not make out at all, hobbit-smell; it was quite outside his experience and puzzled him mightily.

I suppose you got a fair price for that cup last night? he went on. Come now, did you? Nothing at all! Well, thats just like them. And I suppose they are skulking outside, and your job is to do all the dangerous work and get what you can when Im not looking-for them? And you will get a fair share? Dont you believe it! If you get off alive, you will be lucky. Bilbo was now beginning to feel really uncomfortable. Whenever Smaugs roving eye, seeking for him in the shadows, flashed across him, he trembled, and an unaccountable desire seized hold of him to rush out and reveal himself and tell all the truth to Smaug. In fact he was in grievous danger of coming under the dragon-spell. But plucking up courage he spoke again. You dont know everything, O Smaug the Mighty, said he. Not gold alone brought us hither.

Ha! Ha! You admit the us, laughed Smaug. Why not say us fourteen and be done with it. Mr. Lucky Number? I am pleased to hear that you had other business in these parts besides my gold. In that case you may, perhaps, not altogether waste your time.

I dont know if it has occurred to you that, even if you could steal the gold bit by bit-a matter of a hundred years or so you could not get it very far? Not much use on the mountain-side? Not much use in the forest? Bless me! Had you never thought of the catch? A fourteenth share, I suppose, Or something like it, those were the terms, eh? But what about delivery? What about cartage? What about armed guards and tolls? And Smaug laughed aloud. He had a wicked and a wily heart, and he knew his guesses were not far out, though he suspected that the Lake-men were at the back of the plans, and that most of the plunder was meant to stop there in the town by the shore that in his young days had been called Esgaroth.

You will hardly believe it, but poor Bilbo was really very taken aback. So far all his. thoughts and energies had been concentrated on getting to the Mountain and finding the entrance. He had never bothered to wonder how the treasure was to be removed, certainly never how any part of it that might fall to his share was to be brought back all the way to Bag-End Under-Hill. Now a nasty suspicion began to grow in his mind-had the dwarves forgotten this important point too, or were they laughing in their sleeves at him all the time? That is the effect that dragon-talk has on the inexperienced. Bilbo of course ought to have been on his guard; but Smaug had rather an overwhelming personality.

I tell you, he said, in an effort to remain loyal to his friends and to keep his end up, that gold was only an afterthought with us. We came over hill and under hill, by wave and win, for Revenge. Surely, O Smaug the unassessably wealthy, you must realize that your success has made you some bitter enemies?

Then Smaug really did laugh-a devastating sound which shook Bilbo to the floor, while far up in the tunnel the dwarves huddled together and imagined that the hobbit had come to a sudden and a nasty end. Revenge! he snorted, and the light of his eyes lit the the hall from floor to ceiling like scarlet lightning. Revenge! The King under the Mountain is dead and where are hi kin that dare seek revenge? Girion Lord of Dale is dead, and I have eaten his people like a wolf among sheep, and where are his sons sons that dare approach me? I kill where I wish and none dare resist. I laid low the warriors of old and their like is not in the world today. Then I was but young and tender. Now I am old and strong, strong strong. Thief in the Shadows! he gloated. My armour is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!

I have always understood, said Bilbo in a frightened squeak, that dragons were softer underneath, especially in the region of the-er-chest; but doubtless one so fortified has thought of that.

The dragon stopped short in his boasting. Your information is antiquated, he snapped. I am armoured above and below with iron scales and hard gems. No blade can pierce me.

I might have guessed it, said Bilbo. Truly there can; nowhere be found the equal of Lord Smaug the Impenetrable. What magnificence to possess a waistcoat of fine diamonds!

Yes, it is rare and wonderful, indeed, said Smaug absurdly pleased. He did not know that the hobbit had already caught a glimpse of his peculiar under-covering on his previous visit, and was itching for a closer view for reasons of his own. The dragon rolled over. Look! he said. What do you say to that?

Dazzlingly marvellous! Perfect! Flawless! Staggering! exclaimed Bilbo aloud, but what he thought inside was: Old fool! Why there is a large patch in the hollow of his left breast as bare as a snail out of its shell! After he had seen that Mr. Baggins one idea was to get away. Well, I really must not detain Your Magnificence any longer, he said, or keep you from much needed rest. Ponies take some catching, I believe, after a long start. And so do burglars, he added as a parting shot, as he darted back and fled up the tunnel.

It was an unfortunate remark, for the dragon spouted terrific flames after him, and fast though he sped up the slope, he had not gone nearly far enough to be comfortable before the ghastly head of Smaug was thrust against the opening behind. Luckily the whole head and jaws could not squeeze in, but the nostrils sent forth fire and vapour to pursue him, and he was nearly overcome, and stumbled blindly on in great pain and fear. He had been feeling rather pleased with the cleverness of his conversation with Smaug, but his mistake at the end shook him into better sense.

Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool! he said to himself, and it became a favourite saying of his later, and passed into a proverb. You arent nearly through this adventure yet, he added, and that was pretty true as well.

The afternoon was turning into evening when he came out again and stumbled and fell in a faint on the door-step. The dwarves revived him, and doctored his scorches as well as they could; but it was a long time before the hair on the back of his head and his heels grew properly again: it had all been singed and frizzled right down to the skin. In the meanwhile his friends did their best to cheer him up; and they were eager for his story, especially wanting to know why the dragon had made such an awful noise, and how Bilbo had escaped.

But the hobbit was worried and uncomfortable, and they had difficulty in getting anything out of him. On thinking things over he was now regretting some of the things he had said to the dragon, and was not eager to repeat them. The old thrush was sitting on a rock near by with his head cocked on one side, listening to all that was said. It shows what an ill temper Bilbo was in: he picked up a stone and threw it at the thrush, which merely fluttered aside and came back.

Drat the bird! said Bilbo crossly. I believe he is listening, and I dont like the look of him.

Leave him alone! said Thorin. The thrushes are good and friendly-this is a very old bird indeed, and is maybe the last left of the ancient breed that used to live about here, tame to the hands of my father and grandfather. They were a long-lived and magical race, and this might even be one of those that were alive then, a couple of hundreds years or more ago. The Men of Dale used to have the trick of understanding their language, and used them for messengers to fly to the Men of the Lake and elsewhere. Well, hell have news to take to Lake-town all right, if that is what he is after, said Bilbo; though I dont suppose there are any people left there that trouble with thrush-language.

Why what has happened? cried the dwarves. Do get on with your tale!

So Bilbo told them all he could remember, and he confessed that he had a nasty feeling that the dragon guessed too much from his riddles added to the camps and the ponies. I am sure he knows we came from Lake-town and had help from there; and I have a horrible feeling that his next move may be in that direction. I wish to goodness I had never said that about Barrel-rider; it would make even a blind rabbit in these parts think of the Lake-men. Well, well! It cannot be helped, and it is difficult not to slip in talking to a dragon, or so I have always heard, said Balin anxious to comfort him. I think you did very well, if you ask me-you found out one very useful thing at any rate, and got home alive, and that is more than most can say who have had words with the likes of Smaug. It may be a mercy and a blessing yet to know of the bare patch in the old Worms diamond waistcoat. That turned the conversation, and they all began discussing dragon-slayings historical, dubious, and mythical, and the various sorts of stabs and jabs and undercuts, and the different arts, devices and stratagems by which they had been accomplished. The general opinion was that catching a dragon napping was not as easy as it sounded, and the attempt to stick one or prod one asleep was more likely to end in disaster than a bold frontal attack. All the while they talked the thrush listened, till at last when the stars began to peep forth, it silently spread its wings and flew away. And all the while they talked and the shadows lengthened Bilbo became more and more unhappy and his foreboding At last he interrupted them. I am sure we are very unsafe here, he said, and I dont see the point of sitting here. The dragon has withered all the pleasant green, and anyway the night has come and it is cold. But I feel it in my bones that this place will be attacked again. Smaug knows now how I came down to his hall, and you can trust him to guess where the other end of the tunnel is. He will break all this side of the Mountain to bits, if necessary, to stop up our entrance, and if we are smashed with it the better he will like it.