The Holly Project (8 page)

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. I just remembered something.”

“You’re a confusing woman, Holly Ashton.”

I couldn’t help laughing, despite my instincts screaming that spending more time with him was a bad idea. However, the fighter in me was temporarily knocked out. My heart was winning.

The afternoon went by quickly and I left the office around five with the rest of the staff. Ryan asked me to text him the details of where to meet. It felt an awful lot like a date, even though my friends would be there. What the hell was I doing?

I couldn’t help smiling on the train ride home as I thought about Ryan. Watching him in action at work was like foreplay. He commanded the room, had the respect of all his employees and was exceptional at his job. It was a major turn on. Perhaps that was it. I was attracted to Ryan Davenport the powerful CEO, not Ryan Davenport the man. But that didn’t make sense. When I met him at the café I’d had no idea who he was, but I was drawn to him, both physically and mentally. One thing I knew for sure was that this man was leading me down a dangerous path, yet I couldn’t seem to make myself turn around. If anything, I felt the urge to start running faster.

Audrey, Zara and I caught a cab to Surry Hills. I had told them Ryan would be joining us, issuing strict instructions not to make a big deal out of it. It was not a date. We were friends.

We sat at the bar while we waited for Ryan to arrive, and ordered three glasses of white wine.

“So what’s going on here? Are you still trying to sell the ‘there’s nothing going on with Ryan’ line to us?” Zara asked as she sipped her wine.

“We’re just trying to work it out,” I replied, a little defensively.

“I’ve never seen you so tied up over a guy before. You’re usually so… I don’t know… cold and detached?” Audrey said.

“Ouch.” I knew she was right, but it still hurt a little to hear it. I was trying to protect the guys I dated by not letting them get too close. But Ryan was different. I knew it. They knew it. I stared into my wine glass. “Okay, well, I admit I’m attracted to him, but how could I not be? He’s gorgeous, incredibly sexy and on top of that, you should have seen him in the staff meeting today. I had to go to the bathroom to freshen up afterwards – he made me so hot and flustered.” I glanced up to see Audrey and Zara looking behind me and smiling nervously. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

They both nodded, unable to control their chuckling.

My face flushed immediately. I couldn’t bring myself to turn around.

“So I make you hot and flustered. Good to know,” Ryan said, sitting down on the bar stool next to me. “Hi, I’m Ryan. You must be Audrey and Zara.” He leant across me and shook their hands. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too. Holly has told us a lot about you.” Zara winked and Audrey laughed.

I really need to find some new friends!

Ryan got immediate attention from the bartender, who I’m fairly certain had been checking him out. While he ordered a beer, Audrey, Zara and I had one of our epic three-way silent conversations using eye movements, lip shuffles and eyebrow raises. In less than thirty seconds, they confirmed his hotness. I confirmed my desperation for them not to embarrass me, and that I was happy he was there. Then they confirmed their happiness at my happiness. We needn’t have bothered – Ryan’s phone started ringing and he excused himself to take the call.

“You’re smitten, Holly Rose,” Zara said, as soon as Ryan was safely out of earshot.

Feeling an immediate flush in my cheeks, I gave her a half smile. It was true. For the first time in my life, I felt my fragile heart was in serious danger. It was terrifying.

“And that, my friend, is a man in love,” Audrey said, pointing to the door.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Please don’t even say that. I’m already freaked out enough, and I really don’t want to overthink it.”

“Good. The only thing you should be overthinking is how many different ways you can have sex with him.”

“Zara, shoosh!” I begged. “He’s coming back.”

His blue eyes sparkled as he returned to his seat and continued to win over my friends. I liked watching him engage so effortlessly with them. I tried desperately to concentrate on the conversation, but my mind was one-track and dirty. I was overcome by a confusion I’d never before experienced with a man. I gave my forehead a gentle rub to try to ease the tension I was feeling.

Everything was blurring and I had no idea what to do about it. Crossing the professional line seemed like the least dangerous part of my predicament. It was the way I felt in his presence that rocked me to the core. And yet, I desperately wanted to find a hotel and discover how it felt to get naked with someone who affected me so wildly, even when fully clothed.

“What’s wrong, Holly?” Ryan whispered in my ear. “You look stressed.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re worrying about the superhuman strength it’s going to take to keep our hands off each during dinner, aren’t you?”
Is he a freaking mind reader?

Fortunately, before I was forced to answer him, Audrey suggested we head to the Thai restaurant next door for dinner. I jumped down from my bar stool and grabbed my bag.

Jason had texted to say he wasn’t going to make it – he was swamped at work and didn’t know when he could escape. I was quietly relieved.

Temporarily suppressing my confusing feelings for Ryan, I managed to have a really good time. The bill arrived while Audrey and Zara were using the restroom. Ryan picked it up as if he intended to take care of it. I snatched it from his hands. “I don’t think so. Not two nights in a row. I’ll get this one.”

“Okay, my feisty friend,” he said sardonically. “This is definitely
not
a work dinner.”

“No. This is um… friends… having a friendly dinner with friends?”
Smooth, Holly. When did you get so eloquent?

Ryan laughed. “You’re so beautiful.” He seemed shocked to have said it out loud.

“Um… thanks?” I stuttered in response. I knew he hadn’t meant to say it, but I liked hearing it.
Really
liked it.

When Audrey and Zara returned to the table, Ryan and I were staring at each other in silence. But this wasn’t an epic silent conversation. I had no idea what was going through his mind, and I really hoped he couldn’t actually read mine.

“Well, it was lovely to meet you ladies,” Ryan said to Audrey and Zara when we were outside on the sidewalk.

“You too, Ryan. You picked a winner here with our Holly. She’s an incredible architect and the most amazing person I know,” Audrey said, with a quiet sincerity. “I may be a little biased though.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Ryan replied. He gave them both a kiss on the cheek then turned to me. “Thank you for dinner.”

His smile lit up his entire face and completely disarmed me. I desperately wanted to kiss him. He took a step closer to me and ran his right hand gently down my left arm.

“You’re welcome. I had a good time with you.” I blushed and had to look away from him. Holly and Zara had already flagged down a cab and were climbing in, so I took a step backwards towards them. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ryan.”

“I’ll pick you up at eight.”

“I’m happy to get the train. I told you, I don’t need…”

“Settle down. I’m not trying to deprive you of the joys of public transport. I’m going past your apartment anyway, so it’s no bother.”

“Okay. Sorry, I guess I’m used to being independent.”

He took a step towards me and spoke against my cheek. His breath felt like kisses on my skin. “Have you given any thought to our conversation last night at dinner?”

I stared at my feet. “A little.”
I’ve thought of nothing else.

He tilted my chin up so I was forced to look him in the eye. “And?”

“And… I’m attracted to you. I’ll admit that. But I’m just not sure about maintaining a professional working relationship at the same time. Do you really think it’s possible?”

“I absolutely do.” He kissed me properly on the lips and my legs turned to jelly. “Friday lunch. We’ll have absolute privacy, and we can stay overnight if we choose. No pressure.”

I just nodded, unable to form words.

“I’ll see you in the morning.” He kissed me again. The sparks already raging through my body were set alight. I thought I might spontaneously combust.

“Okay,” I croaked as he pulled back and smiled at me. I stumbled ungracefully backwards, bumping into the door of the cab. Cringing, I composed myself, then opened the door and tried to climb in with poise.
Seriously…

As the cab pulled away, I glanced out the window and gave Ryan a small wave. He held his hand up and smiled. I
really
liked him.

I had lived my life with a dogged determination to succeed as an architect, following in my mother’s footsteps. I had also made a conscious decision to take the opposite road to her when it came to love. Her career led to beautiful buildings and timeless structures. Her death led to a crumbling mess of despair. I could control my career and I could minimise the collateral damage if I suffered the same fate as my mother, and those before her.

My dad lived with a grief he would never overcome. The only thing that had ever made any real sense to me was to stay emotionally detached from men and to focus on my career instead. It had worked perfectly – until now. Until Ryan. This man, who on paper was a complete disaster for me, was making me feel things I’d never felt before. It was truly frightening because it threatened both paths. Yet I found the lack of control strangely exhilarating.

I reached for my journal, suddenly compelled to write in it for the first time in almost a decade.

The words flowed easily and I was struck by how cathartic it was. Emotionally drained, I must have fallen asleep mid-sentence. When I woke, I was shocked to see it was two in the morning. My journal was on the floor and my pen was making an inky mess on my bedspread.
Great.
I ignored the mess and went back to sleep.

The next two days at work passed quickly. I didn’t see a lot of Ryan, but whenever he was in the office, I was fiercely aware of his presence. He drove me to and from work both days. When he dropped me home on Thursday night, he said he’d pick me up at nine the next morning. Other than a kiss on the cheek, he hadn’t made another move to kiss me again. I knew he was giving me time to make a clear decision.

Sam, the guy from the club, texted me a few times and asked if we could catch up again on Saturday night. I told him I was too busy. It wasn’t a lie – I was flat out trying to work out what the hell I was doing with Ryan Davenport.

True to his word, Ryan was waiting for me at nine sharp the next morning. When I walked out of my apartment building, I was stopped in my tracks by the sight of him leaning back against his sleek Aston Martin Vantage – my new favourite car. As he stalked towards me, the exhilaration I felt was confronting.

“Hi,” he said in a soothing voice, despite looking like a predator about to go in for the kill. Suddenly, I felt like a zebra facing off with a lion. I needed to snap out of it.
Be the lioness, not the freaking zebra, Holly… you are not his prey!

“Hi,” I squeaked.
Freaking zebra…

Ryan was a seriously good driver. I enjoyed watching him as he expertly navigated the Sydney traffic. I imagined his brain assessing the combined horse power of the cars ahead to decide which lane to take - I found that sexy. Soon we were pulling up out the front of a luxury apartment building in Rose Bay.

“This is my parents’ place. I just need to pop up and see Dad quickly before we go. Do you mind?”

Are you kidding me? I’m not meeting your dad!

“No, not at all,” I replied.

The door to the apartment was open when we got there and a male voice called out to us from the kitchen. I felt incredibly awkward, but I decided to pretend I was someone else and just go with it.

A man who was unmistakably Ryan’s dad appeared in the lounge room. He had the same intimidating stature as Ryan and their eyes were almost identical. The silver hair gave him a distinguished look. There was no doubt he was a handsome man, especially for his age, which I guessed was around sixty.

“Hello, son.” He shook Ryan’s hand but was looking at me. “Who is this stunning beauty?”

“Dad, this is Holly Ashton. She’s my architect for the Aqua Vue project. Holly, meet my dad, Daniel Davenport.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Holly.” He unashamedly looked me up and down, making me very uncomfortable.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mr Davenport,” I lied, and took a step back. I could have sworn I smelled alcohol on his breath.

“Please, call me Daniel.”

“Holly, do you mind waiting here a minute? I just need to talk to Dad about a few things in private, and then we’ll be off.” I could tell Ryan was uncomfortable with his dad’s flirtation. I was relieved he was taking him to another room.

“Make yourself at home.” Daniel winked at me as he left the room.
Ugh.

I wandered around the expansive lounge area picking up various knick knacks. There were a lot of knick-knacks – to the point of clutter. Every surface had something on it, but there was no real theme or thought given to colour or proportion. Daniel certainly didn’t strike me as the knick-knack type, so I had to assume it was Mrs Davenport’s doing.
To each their own
, I thought to myself as I noticed a row of framed photos on the bookshelf.

I loved looking at other people’s photos, especially people I don’t know; the shameless voyeur in me was always drawn to them. There were various photos of kids at the beach, happy snaps at the top of the Empire State Building, graduation ceremonies and so forth. Ryan obviously had a sister, as she featured in all the family photos. I was really starting to think I’d had him pegged when I played my ‘imagine-their-life’ game in the café. He really should have been more impressed with my mad skills.

“Ready to go?” Ryan asked, jolting me from my reverie.

“Yes.” I looked at Daniel sheepishly. “Sorry, I hope you don’t think I was snooping looking at your photos. I couldn’t help myself.”