The Hope of Refuge (37 page)

“Ephraim, I’m sorry.”

He stared at the night sky. “It was a huge loss, and I think it’s part of the reason the community is so defensive about outsiders. None of the adults in the community trusted the driver of the van that crashed, but everyone ignored their gut feeling and paid a really high price. Now they’re overly cautious about anything to do with outsiders.”

She could understand some of that. Breaking trust only took a moment, and regaining it could take a lifetime or more. “Maybe my mom felt abandoned by her dad and that had a lot to do with why she took up with an Englischer and left.”

“Maybe.”

Cara moved to the bench swing. “It all seems like such a lie.”

“All what?”

“How picturesque life can look. You get this quick view of something, and it looks appealing and wonderful—like the quaint appearance of being Amish. But it’s all a lie.”

He took a seat beside her. “Sunday evening you and Lori were near the huge trees by the pond as the sun was setting, and if someone had taken a snapshot of that, it’d warm the heart of every person who saw it. But the struggle for food, shelter, and safety is huge. That fight doesn’t discount the truth seen in that flash of time. Love is real, and it’s worth the battle. That’s not a lie, Cara.”

“Maybe you’re right.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m so tired of thinking about all of it.”

He reached into his pants pocket and pulled something out. Dangling a key in front of her, he smiled. “Maybe this will help. Paint and tools have been delivered. One bathroom is now in working order. The kitchen sink will be fixed tomorrow. A gas stove and refrigerator will be delivered early next week at the latest.”

She placed her palm under the key, and he dropped it. Clutching the key in her fist, she relaxed against the back of the swing. “You were right, you know.”

“Well, as my
Daadi
used to say—”

“Your who?”

“My grandfather.”

“Okay.”

“He used to say that even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.”

She laughed. “You’re weird, Ephraim. Who cracks jokes before sunup?”

He suppressed a smile, making slight lines around the edges of his mouth. “You were saying I was right about something?”

“I needed this transition, a place to live while coping with all I’ve learned. But what does my leaving mean for you?”

“That I get my bed back.”

She elbowed him. “How long before you’re not shunned anymore?”

“The bishop hasn’t put a set time on it.”

“But I’ll be gone.”

“It’s a discipline for past actions, similar to grounding a teen or taking away certain privileges. Only unlike getting in trouble with your parents, none of your friends thinks it’s cool.”

“You know what I think?”

“Do I want to know?”

She huffed and pointed at him. “I think if God were real, he’d make that bishop apologize.”

Ephraim started laughing and seemed unable to stop.

“What?”

“You’re only going to believe He’s real if He makes the bishop own up to something he’s not really wrong in?”

“Not wrong? We didn’t do anything close to going against that Bible of yours.” As soon as she said it, she lost her confidence. “Did we?”

“Well, ya, sort of. Godliness asks us to abstain from the appearance of evil, and you staying in my home overnight… well, you know. There’s nothing wrong in being held accountable, Cara.”

“It’s ridiculous. With all the bad in the world, you’re shunned because you did something that
appeared
wrong? Where’s the proof of your God’s love in that?”

“You love your daughter, but you can’t hold something in your hand as proof of that. Love is action on her behalf all the time. God’s love is action on our behalf all the time. But we’re in the middle of a battle. Part of life is ‘fighting the good fight’ to keep the faith. If there were no evil coming against us, we wouldn’t have to fight to keep the faith, right?”

A feeling of being offended jabbed needles at her, yet chills and confusion washed over her. “I like you. And I think you like me. So let’s do our friendship a favor and not discuss this God issue again, okay?”

He stood. “Do you believe in nature?”

“Well, of course.”

“Then come look at its glory through the telescope.”

When she shook her head, he held out his hand. “I’m not going to chance messing up our friendship by trying to convince you about God. That’s His job. I only want to show you some spectacular things in the sky.”

Cara placed her hand in his. They walked the few steps to his telescope.

She looked through the lens. “I don’t see anything but my own eyelashes.”

Ephraim made a few adjustments. “Here, try again. But don’t blink right before you place your eye against the eyeglass frame.”

Cara tried again. He stood right behind her, showing her how to adjust the finder scope and focuser. She wondered how many times he’d done this with Anna Mary. Had she felt like Cara did at this moment?

“Cara?”

She blinked. “Sorry. What’d you say?”

“Place your eye near the rim, and then adjust this until you can see.”

“Okay.”

She could barely think with him so close—the softness of his tone as he spoke, the warmth radiating from his skin, the gentleness in every move. But then she saw a view so breathtaking she couldn’t believe her eyes. A strip of stars hung in the sky on a backdrop of gold and silver dust. She’d always heard there were way more stars in the sky than were visible to the naked eye. Suddenly every problem she’d ever faced took on a different perspective—as if it were a fleck inside earth’s time line.

Deborah studied Mahlon as he guided the horse and buggy toward Hope Crossing. It’d take them the better part of an hour to get there, so he’d slipped away from the shop before closing, hoping they could ride there and back before dark. They both wanted to see the place Ada would move into this Saturday.

The only noise was that of the horse’s hoofbeats and the creaking of the buggy. Deborah felt that Mahlon had grown quieter with each day that had passed since Ephraim’s shunning, and he seemed to be sharing less and less with her. He hadn’t even noticed when she came out of her house with something behind her back or when she tucked a package under the seat of the carriage. Maybe he just needed to find something to laugh about. She certainly did, especially after going by Anna Mary’s last night and finding out she and Ephraim had broken up.

A night out together before the weekend arrived would probably do both her and Mahlon some good. It had to be upsetting him that his mother had made a decision about a house without his approval. Now that her father was home from the hospital, the hardest thing for her to accept was that Ephraim and Anna Mary were no longer seeing each other. The shunning would end in time, but Ephraim had never changed his mind once he stopped seeing a girl. She held on to the hope that he would this time.

Ada had told her a little about what took place at the meeting last Monday after the bishop dismissed most of them. She wouldn’t say too much about that, but she told Deborah all about the house in Hope Crossing and that Cara was moving in with her. Knowing all the odds Cara had beaten to find Dry Lake, Deborah couldn’t wish she hadn’t come, but she was glad that in two days she’d be moving away from her brother.

Drawing a deep breath, she tried to relax. She touched Mahlon’s cheek, hoping to pull him from his thoughts too. “Where are you?”

“Thinking about all the changes happening in Dry Lake. It’s like everyone’s suddenly chosen to follow their own heart.”

“Everyone’s trying to do what’s best. Even your mother.”

“Maybe.”

“So what’s bothering you the most?”

“I stayed because I didn’t feel she could make it on her own. And now…”

“Stayed?”

He said nothing.

“As in stayed in her house or stayed Amish?”

He shook his head and sighed. “Stayed with her.”

“It didn’t hurt anything for you to live at home these extra few years, did it?”

“No.” He shrugged. “Do you ever wonder if after all this Ephraim will stay Amish?”

“Too often and too much. I think that’s the main reason I’m not more upset that your mother has decided to move to Hope Crossing. She’s getting Cara out of his place and out of his sight. I’m really sorry Ada’s moving so far away from our community, but maybe he and Anna Mary can work things out once Cara’s gone.”

“I had no idea Mamm had that kind of independence in her. I only wish I’d known it years ago.” He lightly slapped the reins against the horse’s back.

“Well, you’re free now. And you can find a place just for us. I’m so excited, but I’m nervous about all of it. Can you find us a place in ten days?”

“Just trust me. I’ll handle it.” Mahlon looked at the directions in his hand and brought the buggy to a stop in front of an old house.

“This is it?” Deborah asked.

He looked at the address on the paper in his hand and then to the mailbox. “Ya.”

They sat in silence, staring at the place. It looked like a haunted mansion. The absolute worst home in Hope Crossing. Mahlon pulled around back and into the driveway.

Deborah scanned the surrounding area. The place sat on a corner lot, with a cornfield to one side of it and houses nearby but not too close. “It has a nice little barn, pasture for her horse, and a huge backyard.”

“Ya, and a backyard so full of junk and fallen limbs she can’t use it for anything.”

“That can be changed with a bit of work.”

They both got out, and Deborah held his hand as they followed the sidewalk around the side of the home, up the front walk, and onto the wraparound porch.

The gray paint on the six-foot-wide porch needed stripping and redoing. The white clapboard sides held so little paint it wouldn’t require much cleaning, just fresh coats.

“No wonder your mother could afford this place.”

“She says she gets money taken off the rent for every bit of work done to the place.”

“I guess with Cara here to paint, your mother will be living free of charge for awhile.”

“One would think.”

Deborah slid the key into the lock and turned it. “I love the door. The old-fashioned mail slot, beveled glass, and tarnished brass knobs. They’re perfect.”

“Perfect for what?”

“For fulfilling your mother’s dreams. The old place looks full of potential.”

They crossed the black-lacquer floors. Wallpaper peeled from the ceiling, musty boxes of junk sat everywhere, and newspapers were strewn all about. They walked into the kitchen.

Deborah studied the room. “It’s certainly big enough for her to do her baking.”

Mahlon looked down the sink. “This place is just a hull; even the pipes are missing.”

“Ada said the plumber will return tomorrow, and the owners are covering the cost of that.”

They walked through the rest of the house.

Mahlon shook his head. “I can’t believe she wants this. It needs so much work.”

“Don’t all dreams need lots of work?”

He gave a half shrug. “Most dreams need to be ignored.”

An uneasy feeling came over her. “Ignored?”

“Forget it.” He motioned toward the front door. “I’ve seen enough. You ready to go?”

“I love this place, Mahlon. Can’t you see that it’s something she’s always longed for? You wanted to stay in Dry Lake while growing up, and she did so. But now she’s ready to try some things on her own.”

“Great. She’s making her dreams come true while I’m stuck doing Ephraim’s job.”

“Mahlon.” Deborah stopped. “Are you angry with your mother over this?”

He shook his head. “I’m just tired of it all. Aren’t you?”

“Tired of what?”

He closed the front door behind her. “I wanted to take one week to get away, and Ephraim needs me, and Mamm goes out and gets a rundown place, and…I…”

“You what?”

After locking the door, he shoved the key into his pocket. “Never mind.”

“Never mind? It’s like you’re trying to tell me something without having to actually say it.” As they walked down the porch steps, Deborah tugged on his hands. “I don’t want to get into an argument just because you’re in a foul mood, but if you keep dropping hints and saying they don’t mean—”

“Okay” he interrupted and then slid his arms around her. “You’re right.” He kissed her forehead. “I just need a few days away, but I shouldn’t take that out on you.” He kissed her again. “Sorry, Deb.”

She climbed into the buggy, hoping her present would help him feel better. She pulled it out from under the seat. “I special-ordered a gift for you from the dry goods store. It came in today.”

He smiled. “And how did you manage to hide it from me?”

“You’re not with me all the time. I’ve barely seen you the last few weeks.”

He lifted it from her hands. “You shouldn’t have done this.”

“You’re going to provide me a home soon. I think I can buy you one thing to go in it.”

He tore the paper, saying nothing as the clock came into view. It was the most gorgeous clock she’d ever seen and exactly like the one he’d pointed out to her a year ago, saying he hoped to own one like it someday.