“Aye, aye, sir!”
“You came for me, Hot Stuff.”
Hawk looked down. “Of course I did. Don’t you know I love you yet?”
She smiled weakly. “I love you, too. Don’t leave me alone at the hospital, Hawk. I don’t think I can stand being without you.”
“I’ll never let you go,” he told her.
Lily looked at the buzzing cell phone on the passenger car seat. It lay there beside the small explosive device. She picked it up to check the ID. Brad. She frowned. Not who she was expecting. He shouldn’t be calling her. Dropping it back on the seat, she ignored the sound and continued driving. The cell kept buzzing. She glanced at it several times as the minutes continued. Finally, she reached for it again. Why would a man who should hate her call? Just to tell her he despised her?
“Shouldn’t you be in the hospital?” she asked levelly, keeping her eyes on the mountain road.
“Surprised I’m not dead?” His familiar voice was low.
“I called your housekeeper to make sure she showed up early, you know. I couldn’t let you die.”
“I know what you’re doing, Lily. You can’t do this. I know what you are.”
“What am I?” she asked calmly.
“You’re a CIA sleeper. They used your anger and hatred and programmed you. They channeled all your emotions into looking for a sister you don’t have so you could have a purpose in life, and then they put a trigger in that they could set off when the time’s right. All those cell calls you have been taking…don’t let them use you, Lily!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You don’t have a sister. It’s you all along! You know this! Stop lying to yourself, Lily.”
Lily frowned. “Llallana,” she corrected. No one was to know about her sister’s identity or—“
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold
.”
Brad’s voice was very sad. “
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned.
What comes next, Lily? Say it and be free.”
He had changed the order of the code. She obeyed. “
The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.
”
Her consciousness zapped her like electricity. Lily blinked, trying to understand. That line had never been spoken. She was not to say it until she was told to. Something unlocked inside, like an old creaking drawer, and she was drawn to it. There was something waiting for her in there. Open it. Open it. She pulled at the image in her head. The cell phone fell from her hand as she continued driving, staring into the darkness.
She thought she heard someone calling her name. But it was too late. She had to stop what she was doing. There was only one way to obey and disobey. Detonate here. Now.
She veered off the road and drove a short ways away. She braked to a stop as she came close to a cliff. Darkness out there. Like the darkness in her heart.
She deserved what was coming to her. She released the brake.
Amber looked up eagerly as the door
opened. Her nurse pushed her wheelchair forward a little as another nurse followed Hawk, also in a wheelchair. She hadn’t seen him for two days since the initial checkup at the hospital. Not that she had been able to talk much anyway. Her drugged body needed time to get rid of the toxins in her system.
“We really have to stop meeting like this,” he said, a small quirk to his lips. His eyes devoured her, taking in every detail. “Like the similar outfit.”
She grinned back. “You look good in a hospital gown. Nice legs.”
He stretched one out, looking down at it with interest. “Oh yeah? I knew there was a reason why the nurses wouldn’t let me put on my clothes for this. What do you think, Nurse Hill?”
“Nice legs, bruised ribs, bad internal injuries,” Nurse Hill summarized from behind him. She smiled at Amber. “He was quite a petulant child the last few days when he couldn’t get to see you. Like you, his body needs rest, but he doesn’t seem to understand that. And he threw a tantrum about his outfit and the wheelchair. Fortunately, he calmed down quickly.”
“Yeah,” Hawk said, “they threatened not to let me see you today. How are you feeling?”
It was so good to hear his voice again. Amber wanted to jump out of her chair and kiss him. “A bit weak,” she replied. “I’m just glad to see you.”
It had been a strange two days, coming in and out of her drugged sleep. When she was finally cognizant, she had found out that she was in a medical facility in a military base. There were visitors, but she didn’t know any of them. She just wanted to see Hawk.
She had heard all the details of what had happened from Lieutenant Jazz Zeringue, Hawk’s close friend from his team. Dragan Dilaver was dead. All his
kafenas
had been destroyed by fire. Hawk was all right, but he had some injuries that needed to be taken care of. She knew some of those came from being Dilaver’s prisoner.
“We’ll let the two of you have a few minutes alone after the meeting,” Amber’s nurse said from behind her. “Here is some water, and if you need us, we’ll be outside the door.”
“Thank you,” Amber said. She looked up when the door opened and a familiar figure, clad in faded jeans and jacket, walked in. “Hello, Jed.”
Jed McNeil always made a room feel smaller. The man had the kind of presence that was quietly forceful, speaking volumes without actually having said a word. She had forgotten how those light silvery eyes could gaze with an intensity of a hunting animal. Right now they were assessing, taking in both her and Hawk’s physical condition. She was pretty sure that he had already read the medical reports.
“Hello, Ambrosia. Long time.” He looked at Hawk. “Lieutenant McMillan. Good job.”
“I haven’t completed my assignment,” Hawk said quietly. “There’s still those caches.”
“Your team will take care of it. We’re combing the different locations right now.” Jed took a seat. “Except for one factor, we have everything under control.”
“What’s that?”
Jed glanced at Amber. “Llallana Noretski.”
Hawk also turned to her. “Lily took the bomb with her, Amber.”
“I know,” she said softly, trying to keep the sorrow away. Lily was, in all likelihood, dead. “Lieutenant Zeringue told me about it. She had been programmed by the CIA to follow certain orders. I’m still not sure what they are, though. Why was she with me all these years? Was she waiting for this particular weapon?”
Jed shook his head. “No. She’s a sleeper cell, which means that the CIA intended to use her for a target. A sleeper lives a normal life until their trigger is activated, so Lily didn’t really know much of anything except that she had undergone some kind of psychological evaluation from the CIA. From what I gather talking to Mr. Bradford Sun, she had been brainwashed into a separate identity. She identified her missing self as her sister, which the CIA used as a cause to channel her hatred and distress. That way, whoever activated the trigger would have the key to manipulate her.”
Amber frowned. “So, someone from the CIA did this to set off a bomb at an international meet?” She was still in shock at all this stuff about Lily and her conditioning. She had heard about these topics but had never really thought about it happening to her in real life. “Why this particular group of people? Wait, I remember Lily’s last words to me. Something about finally getting rid of all those responsible. Does that mean she had been programmed to think all the political figures at that summit were her enemies?”
“That makes sense,” Hawk said. “She hated those who had power to stop the trafficking of women. I think that’s why she acted so oddly with Brad. Her feelings were in conflict with her conditioning. At the same time, those phone calls started.”
Amber sighed. She still couldn’t believe what she had been told the last few days. Yet, looking back, she could see how out of character Lily was, and how she was always mentioning calls on her cell phone. Amber had misunderstood, thinking it had to do with the girls’ transport in and out of the country. How was she to know that those calls were activating whatever embedded commands that were dormant in Lily’s psyche?
“We found her car,” Jed said.
Amber bit down on her lower lip. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to hear this. Hawk pressed a button on his wheelchair, moving him forward and closer. He held out his hand. She put hers in his. It felt so good to touch him again.
“It was at the bottom of a cliff,” Jed continued. He opened a file and leaned forward to hand them some photographs. “It’s not easy to recognize, but you can see the license plate. Is this her vehicle?”
Amber squeezed Hawk’s hand as she checked the photo. “Yes.”
“There’s no body in the wreck,” Jed said.
Hawk jerked forward. “You could have told Amber this right from the get-go,” he said, then paused. His eyes narrowed. “You son of a bitch, you were testing her.”
Amber looked at Jed steadily. “Did you think I would lie about Lily?”
Jed ignored Hawk’s glare. “I wanted to see how prepared you are for her death,” he said calmly. “Because eventually she will die.”
“Why?” Amber asked. Despite what Lily had done to her, she didn’t want her dead.
“Because she still has the bomb,” Hawk said.
“We need you to work with us to understand how Lily’s mind works—what would be her next target, if she uses the weapon. We need to find her and eliminate her.”
“I don’t want her…killed,” Amber said.
“Time is running out for her,” Jed said. “Mr. Sun released her mind, but the trigger is still there, waiting for someone to reactivate. She’s a time bomb, Amber. If we don’t find her, Greta will. Greta, as you know, is the mole who was the handler to a few very important CIA higher-ups. She wanted the weapon for some agenda, but Llallana’s actions changed everything. Apparently, we have another problem with the CIA having a different agenda.” Jed’s expression hardened as he added, “Which will be dealt with when I get back to the States. But the point is, someone at the CIA knows his plan to eliminate a number of political figures at the summit has gone awry. He’ll be after Llallana, too. Or worse, find a way for her to actually use the bomb the next time. We have to find her first. And eliminate this problem.”
“I’m not working for the damn CIA again,” Amber told Jed coldly. “I don’t like what they have done to Lily and they can kiss my ass.”
“You’ll be working with my agency,” Jed said. He cocked his head. “Who knows, with your input, you might be able to save your friend.”
Amber stared at Jed for a moment. Then turned to Hawk. “He’s a son of a bitch,” she declared. Jed knew that would be the perfect bait to get her to cooperate.
Hawk lightly squeezed her hand again. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he told her.
“I’ll do anything to save Lily,” Amber said. Lily had been her best friend the last four years. How could she not help her? She made a face at Jed. “I hate your innovative negotiation technique, Jed McNeil.”
Jed inclined his head. A small smile entered his eyes. “You’ve always wanted to know more about NOPAIN,” he said. “No charge this time, Ambrosia. Bradford Sun is outside, waiting to talk to you. Want to see him?”
“Of course!”
“Then I’ll leave you two now. I’ll be in touch. McMillan, Admiral Madison will call you today sometime. You and I will talk soon. It was a good joint venture.”
“Yes,” Hawk said. “It was…different.”
Amber watched as the two men exchanged glances before Jed slipped out of the room. “What was that about?” she asked.
“He’d told me a while back that this would be the hardest assignment I’d ever have because of the length of time it would take me to live in Dilaver’s world, that I would come out of it different,” Hawk explained. “And it had been tough for me because at that time I couldn’t do what I wanted to do—take down every piece of mortar and brick of those
kafenas
and destroy Dilaver. But…I found you, too. I’m glad I did.”
Amber could imagine the toll it took. Fighting one’s natural self all the time. And Lily did that for so long. “ILY,” she mouthed softly as the door opened and Brad came in.
Hawk’s lips curved and his eyes caressed her. “ILY back-atcha,” he mouthed back.
A man either had to learn to let go of something out of his control or be driven out of his mind by it. It was late at night and Hawk couldn’t sleep. Once again, images haunted him. He wished Amber were here with him.
Hawk thought of Bradford Sun and couldn’t help but feel sorry for the man. He had appeared his usual unruffled self today, but Hawk could tell that the man was suffering. There were shadows under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept well lately. They lit up when Amber told him that there was a possibility that Lily wasn’t dead. He had come to tell them that the girls at the safe houses were gone, along with the two nurses. It was now very probable that Lily had gone back to take her girls to safety.
“She couldn’t just trust them to you or me. I freed her mind with that damn trigger, but she still hadn’t freed herself.”
“What are you going to do, Brad?”
“Let her go. She and I weren’t meant to be, Amber. I’m not even sure whether I ever reached the real Lily.” His voice had turned bitter as he added, “Except maybe those last few minutes. But that was her turning point, not mine, and she chose to continue on without me or anyone close to her. I could stop my life and go off hunting for her, but I don’t even know where to start. If I keep at this, I’ll end up like that line she kept repeating—I’ll fall apart. I’ll have to learn to let go. It’s out of my control.”
Brad’s words made Hawk think. He had to learn to let go, too. He couldn’t let what he had seen and not been able to do the past few months living under Dilaver to destroy his own view on life. In a chilling way, Lily had been right. Things
would
fall apart if one’s core beliefs didn’t stay strong. He had to find some way to anchor his own dark fury.
His laptop by the bedside beeped him. This was how they communicated while they were apart.
Hot Stuff. I have something for you.
He smiled in the dark. He knew who his anchor was. He placed the computer on his lap.
We aren’t talking till you agree to marry me.
Oh, all right, if that’s the most romantic way you can think of to propose. At a stupid hospital. In a wussy white hospital gown that barely reaches your knees.
He chuckled.
Something else to remember us by along with the sumo wrestlers.
He would never be able to watch
that
particular activity again without remembering what Amber did to him on her couch.
What do you have for me, love?
Something to add to our collection of memorable moments. Remember the message you scrawled on my thigh?
How could he not?
Yeah. You cooking me another hamburger?
No…I have this.
A window popped up on the left top corner of the screen. It was Amber in front of her rigged-up laptop camera. She patted her hair self-consciously, then smoothed her hands down her naked breasts to her hips. Hawk stared, his mouth falling open. Was she wearing…
Well? Are you going to find a way to get in here to eat this? Or aren’t you hungry? It’s strawberry-flavored, by the way.
Hawk didn’t even bother answering, shutting the system down in a hurry. He scrambled out of bed. Hospital rules be damned. He was a SEAL. He would find a way into her room tonight. He had more memorable moments to make.