The Imposter (13 page)

I couldn’t look at
him, so I addressed Collin cordially.  “I was hoping to borrow that book now
that the weather has turned,” I smiled shakily to cover just how uncomfortable
I was.

Collin rose from
behind his desk and walked briskly to the shelf across the room, deftly pulling
out the volume that he had offered me earlier.  He handed it to me and I
reached my hand out swiftly, afraid that I was shaking.

“Thanks.”

“How much of that
did ye overhear, lass?”  he asked directly.

“All of it,” I
responded, and turned on my heel as I straightened my spine and walked from the
room, fighting back tears that I wasn’t sure why I had.

***

I was trying my
hardest not to panic about my current circumstances.  My rouse of normalcy
consisted of a rather large glass of red wine, my second this evening, and
Collin’s book, a reminder of what had transpired earlier in the library.   I
feared that this situation was my penance for assuming Katherine Berkshire’s
identity.  I would now be used as Collin wished to make money for the Clan.  I
was angry at the situation but refused to be a victim.  I would find a way out
of this mess.  Should I escape?  Where would I go?  Should I try to talk Devon
into marrying me in order to save myself from a far worse fate?  The thought of
being Devon’s wife sent my blood racing.

I couldn’t focus
on the contents of the book and found that alcohol coupled with a boring read
could not distract me from thinking the prospect of my impending forced
marriage.  All of this on top of the fact that I was living under the assumed
identity of a woman I knew to be dead weighed heavily on my conscience. 

What would Collin
do when he found out that I was a fraud?  Could I keep up this rouse and allow
Katherine’s dowry to be collected?  

I took another
gulp of wine, knowing that I would pay for my overindulgence tomorrow with one
hell of a headache, but also, not letting this knowledge stop me. 

The idea of
marrying Devon terrified me!  Devon was certainly not unappealing.  In fact he
was quite the opposite.  His quick wit and easy demeanor coupled with his
rakish long hair and muscular physique were alluring. There was a connection
between us and I could not deny that the kisses that we shared had been earth-shaking. 
The way my body responded to his touch was unlike anything that I had ever
experienced.

 If I became Devon’s
wife, it would force me to stay permanently at McClain castle. Staying here
would increase the risk that my father’s men might find me.  Marrying Devon
would eventually expose that I was not Katherine Berkshire.  I could not keep
this fraud up indefinitely.  Devon would offer me a temporary sense of security
and belonging, but I loathed the idea of tying him up in my web of lies.  Greedily,
I wanted him, but my conscience knew that I should let him go.

I gave up on
reading and closed the book, resting its leather weight next to me on the
settee.  I took another sip of wine, noticing that my glass was quickly
becoming more empty than full, savoring its fruity warmth in my mouth before
swallowing it down.  I leaned by head back, closed my eyes and relaxed against
the high back of the settee, tired from thinking so much about a situation that
I had so little control over.  Maybe I could work out a plan with Devon.  After
walking in on his heated conversation with Collin, it was clear that he also
did not wish to be wed.  Maybe he would help me to escape to avoid this
unwanted marriage. 

“Aghemm,” I
startled, and turned at the sound of a throat being cleared behind me. 

I raked a hand
through my tousled hair and peered over the back of the settee.  My eyes met Devon’s
and we both quickly glanced away, sensing immediately the precarious balance to
our situation.  He was carrying a bottle of wine and two of Collin’s crystal
goblets, which he sat on the small table next to me.

“May I join ye,
lass,” he said cautiously, searching my face for an answer.  There was
awkwardness between us that had never been there before and I knew that he felt
this too by the way that his eyes nervously scanned the alcove as he awaited my
answer.

“Of course,” I
responded tersely, trying not to notice the way that the presence of this
beautiful man affected me.

Oh, Devon.  I
want you so much.  But now I know that you don’t want me.

My heart sank.

“I came prepared,
but I see that you started without me,” he chuckled as he surveyed my nearly
empty glass, uncorked the wine and filled his own with ruby liquid.  He took a
deep drag of the wine, savoring it in his mouth for a few seconds before
swallowing.

“Well, lass, this
is quite uncomfortable, is it no?” he said, acknowledging the strangeness of
our situation.  He raised the bottle of wine in invitation and I handed him my
glass to refill.

“Yes.  Yes it is,”
I responded, nodding in agreement, thankful that I wasn’t the only one on edge.

He took another
deep swallow of wine and set the bottle down on the table between us.  My eyes
lingered on his lips.  His lips set in a hard line as he began to talk.   I
remembered how lovely it had felt to kiss him.

“I’m sorry about
what ye heard this morning, between my brother and I.  I’d not intended ye to
be there.  I’m sorry.” 

Now he focused on
his glass, refusing to make eye contact with me. 

“I could tell,” I
said, surprised at the harsh tone of my voice.  He had made his thoughts about
marrying me quite clear.  Quite clear indeed.

“It was not as ye
thought.  I mean, it’s not that I don’t want tae marry ye.” His eyes met mine
and held my gaze with an intense stare. 

“Devon, there’s no
need to lie.  It was quite clear that you don’t want to marry me, and believe
me, I don’t blame you.”  I was not in the mood for excuses. “I don’t want to
marry you either if that makes you feel any better.” I responded tartly,
subconsciously admitting that my statement was a lie.

He smiled.  “A
blow straight to my heart,” he said, clasping his hand to his chest.

“I’ve come to
explain why I don’t want to marry ye.  I think that ye deserve an explanation.”

I straightened
myself on the settee and looked directly into his green eyes.  “You do not need
to give me an excuse, Devon McClain.  Whatever your reason is, I don’t need an
explanation.  You have no responsibility to me as far as I am concerned.”  I
had liked Devon from our first encounter in the great hall, in fact, I had been
immediately attracted to him, yet I refused to allow him to be drawn further
into my complicated situation.

Meeting my stare
head on, the intensity in Devon’s eyes dared me to look away and I noted the
manner in which he clenched his angular jaw as he searched for the correct
words to respond with.

 “Yer right, Kate. 
I’ve nae responsibility to ye and certainly no claim upon ye.  But I do fancy
ye, and I’ll put a claim on ye if need be so that I can offer ye my
protection.”

“I don’t need
protection,”  I challenged his argument, but my traitorous heart sped up at the
implication of his words.

“When it comes to
my brother, all women need protection. He sees you as a pawn in his game.  A possession
tae use for profit,” he said firmly, meeting my gaze.  “Collin will force ye
tae marry, either tae me or the Cameron.  Ye deserve more than that, Kate.”

The seriousness of
his tone struck me. 

“Collin knows that
I doona want tae take a wife, that is part of the reason that he is forcing me
tae wed ye.  He takes great joy in controlling my life and it makes him feel
powerful tae control me in such a way.  He also kens that when the Cameron
finds out that I’ve taken ye tae wife, he will be enraged.  He’ll take it as a
personal insult, damn the bastard!  Most likely he will try to kill me
himself.” Devon’s brows furrowed together as he contemplated the situation.

“Why does the
Cameron Laird want to marry me?” I questioned, not grasping the reasons behind
the Laird, currently at war with the McLains, wanting to have Katherine
Berkshire for his wife.

“Money, mostly. 
But also, he’s been seeking an alliance with yer Da for years.  He wants to
secure an alliance with the Berkshires to secure a valuable trade route.”

“So he thinks that
marrying me will help him align with my father?” I questioned, feeling strange
claiming Kate Berkshire’s father as mine.

“That’s what he’s
hoping.  Yer father chose my Da over the Cameron initially, and I’m sure
Cameron is happy tae have a second chance tae take ye tae wife.”

My stomach began
to feel queasy the more we spoke about Katherine Berkshire’s father and her
prospects of marriage.  I knew that I would not be able to hide under her
identity for much longer.

“Don’t marry me,
Devon.  Hide me away.  Help me escape,” I pleaded, imploring him to help me
elude this situation all together.

“It’s no that easy
lass.  If it were, I’d have already stolen ye away.  Collin has his guards
posted about the keep.  They’ve been watching my every move.   Have ye no
noticed them watching ye as well?  Ye are a very valuable possession tae my
brother.”

Now I knew the
reason for the constant presence around me in the keep.  This explained the
eyes that I felt following me as I moved about the halls.  They had been
watching us both.

“Why would your
own brother do this to you?  Can’t you just go talk to him again?”

“He’s made up his
mind, Kate.  Ye ken that Collin and I have never quite got on.  I was very
close with my Da, something that my brother was intensely jealous of.”  Devon paused,
swirling the wine in his glass.  He brought the glass to his lips, inhaled
deeply and took a large gulp of wine. “I willna allow him tae control my life,”
the tone of his voice was firm, serious. “But I promise ye, Kate, that if ye
become my wife, ye will have my protection, body and soul.” 

The sentiment of
this statement and all that it implied struck me deeply.  I was flattered that
any man would defend me with his life, and the way that Devon spoke of his body
and soul made me feel warm inside.  What would it be like to allow someone to
protect me in that way, I wondered? 

“Ye won’t have to
be worrit about that Cameron bastard or my brother,” he said, taking a final
gulp of wine before uncorking the bottle and refilling his glass. “It’s not
that I don’t want tae marry ye lass.  The problem is that I have nothing tae
offer ye as a husband,” he said, speaking directly into my eyes, imploring me
to understand. “I’m a warrior, a leader of men.  It’s all I know.  It’s what my
Da trained me for.”

“What…” I started,
and Devon quickly interjected before I could finish my question.

“I need to get
this out, Kate.  Just listen and I’ll explain,” he looked at me directly, green
eyes gleaming.  This was clearly difficult for him, and he took a deep breath,
collecting his thoughts before continuing.  “I’m the spare.  My Da had an heir
and a spare, and as the spare, I have nothing.  Nay land, nay home, not much in
the way of money or means tae provide for a wife. I’ve nothing tae offer ye.  I’ve
spent my life as a warrior and a wanderer, always seeking tae be away from here
as much as possible.” I could feel the angst in his voice as he continued. 
“Collin knows this.  He knows that a wife is a luxury that I canna afford.”

I was touched by
his sincerity and surprised at his reason for wishing not to be married. 
Without thinking, I reached out and touched his hand, feeling him jerk under my
touch.  He always seemed to be so deeply affected by my presence and my touch. 
My hand seemed small and light in contrast to his large, work-hardened
masculine hand.  I squeezed his hand in assurance as I looked into his eyes,
willing him to continue.

“He’s come up with
a tidy solution tae two of his problems with this marriage.   By forcing us tae
wed, he can secure your dowry for the McClain coffers and he thinks that having
a wife will settle me down so that he can keep a watchful eye on me.  Plus,
angering the Cameron by forcing us tae wed is an added bonus for my brother.”

“We won’t have to
settle down.  You could keep doing what you do, and well, I guess I can stay
here when you’re gone,” I said, trying to offer a solution.  I was surprised to
find that suddenly I did want this marriage and the security that it would
offer me.  When Devon had vowed to protect me, I had believed him.   I also
wanted to avoid marriage to the Cameron laird at all costs.

“It’s not that
easy, Kate.  If ye become my wife, your welcome will be soon worn out at the
keep.  I’d never leave ye in such a dangerous place.  There’s been much unrest
since my Da died and I fear that Collin wouldna treat ye kindly.  Once he has
the dowry in hand, yer safety and health will nae longer be of much concern tae
him.”

“Damn him!” I
said, starting to understand the complexity of Devon’s relationship with his
older brother.

My exclamation
caused Devon to smile and chuckle under his breath.  “I’ve never heard a lass
speak like ye do, except for maybe down at the harbor.  Maybe yer not fit tae
wed with a mouth like that,” he chided.

My face flushed
pink and I was suddenly embarrassed by my un-ladylike outburst.

“Collin will know
that I would do anything tae protect my wife and I assure you that he would use
ye against me if given the chance.  In fact, I’m surprise he hasna killed me
himself.”

“Your brother
would really kill you?” I exclaimed in disbelief.

“Och, aye!  And
without a second thought or a bit of guilt!  Devon laughed. “Collin desperately
needs a son.  He’s without an heir to his Lairdship, and as such, if something
happens to him, I become Laird.”

“And so he seeks
to remove you as a threat,” I said, deepening my understanding of the ever
present tension between the brothers.