The Improbable (28 page)

           
“Come in,” I answered.

           
A rookie entered my office. “Chief wants to see you, sir.”

           
I rose from my seat and followed him out. He took me into the elevator and down
to the lobby. I was taken aback by the amount of people in the lobby. It looked
like a makeshift ceremony. What was going on? I scanned the crowd for Clayton
so I could apologize and figure out what was happening. No luck. I followed the
rookie and stopped when he gestured for me to do so. Near a podium, my father
stood with a microphone.

           
“Are we all here?” He questioned with a smile on his face. “Great to see you
all. I know this was pulled together very last minute and I thank you all for
coming in. As you know, a few months back I announced to the station that I
would be retiring.”

           
Finally, I saw Clayton on the other side of the crowd. I wanted to make my way
over to him but didn’t want to be rude to my father so I stayed where I was.

           
“When I decided to retire, I had to think about who I would hand my position
down to. There were plenty of people to choose from, so I assigned one of the
biggest cases to the two people I would trust most in my position. For the past
few months they worked tirelessly trying to shut down a drug that has been
killing people in our community and today I am proud to say that they have
closed the case!” Pop exclaimed and began clapping, the rest of the crowd
following his lead with cheers.

           
Shit! I hadn’t had the time to speak to my father about wanting to give the
position to Clayton. There was absolutely no way I deserved that position over
him; he worked all those long, hard years, he deserved it! I had to think of a
way to get to my father quickly before he announced that he was giving me the
position as Chief of Police, if I didn’t reach him I would feel like the
biggest asshole of all time. I wouldn’t even feel right taking the position. I
tried to go up and interrupt my father, but the rookie put his hand up and
shook his head.

           
“Not yet, he told me when to let you up there.” The rookie informed me.

           
I really didn’t want to argue with him and embarrass my father but I had to get
up there! “I know but I really need to –”

           
“Oh, here he is now! The man that will be taking my position as Chief of Police
is no one other than my very own son, please help me welcome Mr. David O’Neil.”
My father signaled for me to come up.

           
All I saw was the hurt and betrayal on Clayton’s face. He eyed my father with
disgust and shook his head. Clayton snorted and put his hands on his hips,
shaking his head and still eyeing my father as I made my way over.

           
“You’ve
gotta
be fuckin’ kidding me!” Were the last
words I heard before the sound of a gunshot banged throughout the lobby!
Everyone had gotten down and the rookies restrained Clayton from shooting
anyone else.

           
“Take him to the cells, immediately! Immediately!” I instructed them. I
frantically glanced around to see if anyone had been hit, my eyes doubling in
size when I saw my father collapsed behind the podium. “Pop!” I went and
kneeled by his side to see blood staining his clothes on the chest. It was a
fatal gunshot wound and I knew it.

           
“Somebody! We need an ambulance!” I called to anyone in the crowd. “You’re
gonna
be alright, Pop, you’re
gonna
be alright.” I told him, picking his head up off the floor. I desperately
wanted to go and beat Clayton until he couldn’t see a damn thing! But even I
knew that wouldn’t get my father out of the fatal situation he was in. I didn’t
want to see it, but I had seen it with Nicholas Brandy and I knew what was
happening. The life was slowly but surely flowing out of my father’s eyes.

           
“No, Pop, hang on. We’re
gonna
get you some help.
Don’t let go, we’re
gonna
get help.” I said to him,
looking around and silently praying to God, asking to not lose both of my
parents.

           
A slight smile came to my father’s lips and his eyes looked out of it. “It
might just be that time, son.” He managed to say.

           
I shook my head. “No. No! Don’t you say
that.
” A hard
lump began to form in my throat; I had just gotten back on good terms with my
father and now he was being taken away from me! I couldn’t lose my mother and
my father, I didn’t want to let that happen.

           
“You’ve
gotta
let me go, son. You’re strong enough to
handle this…and you’ve got someone to stay strong for…that young Eva of yours.”
He smiled and coughed.

           
“No…no, stop talking like that. You’re
gonna
make
it!” Anguish took over my voice.

           
“I can’t wait to tell your mom about you…I know she’s going to be so proud.” He
reached up and grabbed my face, nodding.

           
“Pop you can’t…” I said, knowing the end was near for him.

           
“Can you just do one thing for me? Do what makes you happy, I’d give anything
to see you as happy as the night of the fair. I just want you to be happy. I
love you so much and I’m so proud of you, son, so proud.” He smiled, his eyes
filling with tears but appearing overjoyed.

           
I nodded. “I love you too,” I watched as he took his final breaths and the last
bit of life left his eyes. “Say hi to Mom for me…I love you too.” I kissed his
forehead and held onto him. I held back the tears, not ready to break down just
yet. I just wanted to sit in my father’s presence in peace until the ambulance
came.

           
My best friend, gone.

           
My love, someone I didn’t even know…

           
My father, gone.

           
Would I ever get out of hell?

E
verything
was okay…

           
I still had my best friends. I still had the love of my life. I still had one
of two of my parents. I wasn’t in jail even though I should’ve been. However,
everything just felt so…
wrong
. There was too much death in the air, and
even though David’s father wasn’t fond of me I still felt for David’s loss. I
hadn’t spoken to David and my dad was set to be processed officially into the
jail soon. So maybe everything wasn’t okay! I knew I had to keep a brave face…

           
“You almost ready dear?” Mama’s voice asked lightly outside of my room door.

           
I was looking at myself in the mirror, deciding on any last minute changes to
my outfit. For the past hour or so, I had been getting myself ready for Chris’s
funeral. I knew my friends were waiting down in the living room but for some
reason I couldn’t push myself to move any faster. “I’m coming,” I called over
my shoulder.

           
Mama cracked the door open and came in slowly. “You look wonderful…of course I
wish it was under different circumstances, but you look beautiful nonetheless.”
She smiled slightly.

           
I nodded. “Thanks Mama,” I went and collected my purse off of my bed and made
my way down the stairs to join my friends. I could barely look at Sarah’s face
– I didn’t want to know the amount of pain she was going through. She and Chris
had been on the verge of something beautiful and I couldn’t even imagine the
pain of having it cut short. It was the same as thinking about losing David. I
shuttered at the thought.

           
“There you are,” Yvonne announced and stood once she saw me enter the living
room. “We’ve been waiting.”

           
“Sorry for the wait,” I apologized and rubbed Sarah’s back upon joining my
group of friends.

           
“Kate’s already there with Timmy and David.” Rita informed me.

           
“Then let’s get a move on,” I sighed. It was clear none of us were in a rush to
lay our friend to rest forever…my mind could barely wrap around the fact that
I’d never see Chris’s jolly face again. “How are you doing?” I forced myself to
ask Sarah.

           
She nodded, “So far so good.”

           
A slight grin made its way onto my face and I took her hand, pulling her up
from the couch. “We’re here for you.” I linked my arm with hers as we made our
way out to the car.

           
The ride to the funeral home was fairly quiet. I wished Kate could’ve been in
the car to lighten the mood but for once I didn’t think she would even try to
cheer anyone up. I sighed, trying to rid myself of the heavy weight I felt on
my chest but nothing helped.

           
“David’s dad’s funeral was this morning.” Rita said.

           
My heart broke for him. “I know this is so hard for him…two very important
funerals in one day. It makes me so sad.” I shook my head and looked out the
window.

           
“At least he has someone like you who’s there for him, Eva.” Yvonne told me. “I
know that has to mean a lot to him.”

           
I smiled awkwardly, not sure if it was the right time to mention that I hadn’t
talked to him in days. It definitely wasn’t the time for a conversation about
relationship issues. But I couldn’t help but wonder…did that mean he didn’t want
to talk to me? He didn’t want my support? Was I overthinking things? My mind
contemplated endlessly until we pulled up to the funeral home.

           
“We’re right behind you Sarah.” Rita rubbed Sarah’s shoulder before hopping out
of the car.

           
Everyone was still filing into the service when we arrived. It took a lot I had
in me to not sprint inside and hug David until he grieved no more, but I knew I
had to be polite and take my time going inside with the rest of the girls. When
we entered the building, Kate found us immediately.

           
“There y’all are,” She embraced us individually. “How’s everyone
holdin
’ up? Timmy’s only cried once, David is like a statue
in there but I know this is hard for the both of ‘em.” Kate shook her head and
sighed.

           
“We’re doing pretty well,” I answered.

           
“Good, I’ve got seats for y’all behind mine and Timmy’s row. I didn’t know how
close you wanted to be…” She trailed off, eyeing Sarah who didn’t appear to be
there mentally. Kate frowned with pity.

           
“Anywhere is fine,” Yvonne assure her, pulling Sarah close.

           
“Just follow me,” Kate instructed.

           
People were still up viewing the body and I was thankful because I didn’t want
to see it just yet. I sat behind David, who had made no moves to see who was
entering in the row behind him. I reached up and rubbed him on the back and he
finally turned around. His eyes were empty and he said nothing, only grabbed my
hand on his shoulder and gave it a peck before turning back around and leaning
forward on his knees.

           
I sighed.

           
After the funeral service, everyone gathered in the lobby to wait for the rain
to stop pouring down outside. David and Timmy stayed back to speak with Chris’s
parents. My friends and I huddled together, all out of tears to shed, keeping
the conversation light to lift each other’s spirits. Even Sarah cracked a smile
at a few of Kate’s jokes. Though our moods were lifting, I still wanted to
speak to David! He’d been through a lot the past week and a half and I wanted
to make sure he wasn’t ready to fly off the handle because he was overwhelmed.

           
“Hey ladies,” Timmy joined our huddle.

           
“How are you feeling?” Yvonne asked.

           
Timmy shrugged. “It’s hard but it’s getting better. I think seeing the casket
close was the reality for me. There’s nothing I can do about it, but we have
some great memories and that’s what I’ll have of him in my heart.”

           
I was confused. Where had David gone? He was just with Timmy! I looked around
with furrowed eyebrows and back to Timmy. “Where’s David, Timmy? Wasn’t he just
with you?”

           
Timmy nodded. “After we spoke to the ‘rents, he wanted to head out. He may
still be in his car.”

           
Without another word, I pushed through the doors and before I knew it I was out
in the pouring rain looking for David’s car. Once I saw the only car with the
headlights on I knew I’d found him. He was sitting and staring aimlessly out
the windshield. I opened the passenger door and slid in next to him. His eyes
glanced over at me and then went back to staring out the window.

Instinctively,
the first thing I did was embrace him. I held on to him for a long while, just
wishing I could soak up his pain…but even I had no more room for pain after
losing my father to jail. I just wanted to do all that I could for him in his
time of need. David rubbed my arm but didn’t hug me back. I didn’t need him to,
as long as he knew that I was here for him. I leaned on his shoulder. “These
days don’t get easier do they?” I rubbed his back. “I still believe everything
is
gonna
be alright,” I whispered. “I’m here for you
if you need me.”

           
David took my hand in his and gave it a kiss. “Thanks, baby.”

           
“Anytime,” I relaxed on his shoulder.

           
David sat silent for a few moments before asking, “Do you remember when we went
to go get ice cream?”

           
I smiled to myself as I remembered the hours David and I had spent talking to
each other. “Of course I do, I’d never forget. Why do you ask?”

           
“I talked about life and how we were all meant to beat the odds.” He paused and
looked down, “I’m beginning to think the odds against me have won.”

           
I shook my head, “If that were the case you wouldn’t be here. If that were the
case we wouldn’t still be together. But you are…and we are. The odds are still
in your favor.”

           
David’s lips set into a straight line “My life has just been…shattered by all
that’s happened.”

“With
everything that’s happened and is still happening you’ve been
so strong
and I –”

“Strong?”
David snorted hopelessly.

I
pulled back to sit in the passenger seat, looking at him with furrowed
eyebrows.

“I’m
not strong Eva…I’m tearing at the seams.” He looked over at me and shook his
head. “I don’t get what kind of sick game God is playing – both my parents and
one of my best friends? Why!”

I
pulled back from him and sighed. “Well, I can’t tell you His reasoning. But I know
that you
are
strong and you’re going to beat the grief, it’s not going
to get the best of you this time.”

“And
how can you be so sure?” David questioned in a bleak tone.

           
“Because I watched you overcome the grief of your mother.” I answered. I tilted
my head to see David’s expression when he didn’t look at me. “David, can you
look at me?”

           
“Even that’s a hard thing to do…” He nearly whispered, looking down into his
lap.

           
My lips pressed into a straight line. “Why is that?”

           
“I don’t want you to see me in this state… I just –”

           
“Why not? I just want to be there for –”

           
“I love you…but I just need some time, Eva.” David said.

           
My heart beat sped up and my face began to get hot. “What do you mean?”

           
 “I need to get my head together…I need space.” He answered.

           
“You don’t want to have me around?” I asked in a quiet voice.

           
He turned to me and grabbed my face. “This doesn’t change how I feel about you,
you already know that. This is just a lot for me to handle. Space is all I
need. Can you give me that?”

           
Reluctantly, I nodded my head quickly, wanting to get out of the car before I
started crying like a little girl!

           
He kissed me oh so gently on the forehead. “I’ll see you soon, I’ll be back
around I promise. I love you, Eva-Marie.”

           
“I love you too, David.” I mumbled before getting out the car. I stood and
watched David drive off. My little heart couldn’t handle the emotional roller
coaster it’d been on lately. How much time did he need to himself? Was I going
to lose him to his grief like his friends had lost him years ago? It felt as if
a cloud of loneliness was hanging over me as I stood in the rain, feeling lost
all by myself in the parking lot.

           
When I arrived at home I headed straight to my room. All I wanted to do was be
alone and lay in my dark room, watching the rain fall down the window the same
way the tears were falling down my cheeks. I entered my room and kicked my
shoes off hastily. The weight of every bad situation and all the feelings of
everything that had happened crashed into my chest at full speed. Sobbing, I
placed my hand on my heart and slowly laid down on my bed. I felt crippled with
pain.

           
Every single aspect of my life felt so broken and hopeless.
I
myself
felt so broken and hopeless. I wanted to curl up on my daddy’s lap and cry
about it so he could comfort me and tell me all was going to be just fine. That
wasn’t an option. I wanted to be wrapped up in David’s arms because I knew that
if anything we were comforted enough in each other’s presence alone. I couldn’t
even go to my love for comfort. Oh, my David O’Neil, would he ever come back? I
began to worry as I thought of him becoming someone I didn’t even know. Was he
right…
had
the odds against us won?