Authors: Elaine Jeremiah
Emma felt lightheaded. It was
really happening. She couldn’t speak for a moment as Amy grabbed her hand and
told her to get her coat.
‘Let’s go down the local,’ she
said.
‘But we’ve got no money.’
‘Oh we’ve got enough for a couple
of drinks. And they’re on me.’
Emma was too lost for words to argue
with her kind friend. She could barely believe that she was returning to her
father’s farm, the place she’d been so desperate to escape from less than two
years ago. Now she was equally keen to return. But what reception would she receive
when she got there?
‘I meant to tell you, Kate, I
received a phone call last night,’ her father said as they were sitting at the
kitchen table eating their soup.
‘Oh? Who was it?’
‘An elderly man or at least he
sounded elderly. What did he say his name was…? Oh that’s it, Reg. Or
something like that. He told me that he didn’t want to worry me, but that he
knows Emma and she’s in “financial difficulty”. Those were his words.’
‘What else did he say?’
‘Not much more. I asked how he
knew Emma and he told me that he met her on the train to London. That must
have been eighteen months ago at least
. Apparently she
rang him because she was struggling, but she didn’t want to talk to me directly
so she asked him if he could speak to me on her behalf.’
He sighed deeply. Kate looked
closely at him. Although he’d given her this news in a casual way, she could
tell that it was weighing heavily on him. She felt sorry for him and worried
too about how this news would affect him. Then she frowned. It was
frustrating how Emma could have such an effect on them both even though she was
so far away.
‘Listen, Dad, I think we just need
to let Emma sort herself out. At least until we hear more about her
situation. After all, you were the one telling me you wanted nothing more to
do with her.’
He nodded, his head drooping a
little. ‘I know. It’s just that she may be in trouble and surely I should
help her? I am her father after all.’
‘But she was the one who blackmailed
you into giving her the inheritance!’ Kate cried. ‘I don’t see why you should
feel you have to go running after her to sort out her mess after the way she
treated you. She’s got to learn that actions have consequences. She’s got to
learn that when you do someone wrong it’s not always possible to atone for
it.’ She stood up, picked up her soup bowl and put it in the sink. ‘I’ll wash
this later. I need some air.’
She left the kitchen and went into
the hallway putting on her coat and scarf. Stepping outside, she felt the cold
knife her. She glanced back at the farmhouse reflecting on all the years of
hard work she’d put in to help maintain it and the rest of the farm. If her
father chose to help Emma it could ruin them all, she thought as she trudged
away from the farmhouse. Kate wasn’t prepared to let that happen without a
fight.
But she didn’t want to let bitter
feelings towards Emma control her. She had other things on her mind. Ever
since her run in with the strange man on the road to college and the odd phone
call her father had received, Kate had had the feeling she was being watched,
maybe even followed. She told herself not to be daft. Being watched whilst
you lived and worked on a farm in the middle of the sticks in Cornwall seemed
highly unlikely. But nevertheless every time she went out in her little car
she would glance all around her to make sure no one was there. A couple of
weeks ago, when she’d been in the car and had reached the end of the farm’s
driveway to join the little lane at the top, Kate could have sworn she saw a
flash of a large dark car as it scooted around the corner away from her. But had
she really seen it? Or was she just being paranoid? If someone was watching
her, why now so long after Steven had vanished?
Now as she strode across the barren
fields Kate wished she’d never come into contact with Martin again. Even
though he’d led her to hope that Steven might still be alive, she realised that
it wasn’t just him who was at risk from harm. Her own life, her safety at
least, might be in danger. And in a way she would rather not have known that. She
paused for a moment, out of breath and bent double with her arms on her legs. Although
it was cold she was sweating and took off her hat and scarf. She’d barely been
aware that she was walking so fast.
Oh Steven, she thought, I miss
you. If you’re out there please come home to me. She just felt that if he
were here, everything would be OK again. Although she knew it was perverse,
Kate felt that even if Steven’s life was in danger it wouldn’t matter to her as
long as he was with her. Straightening up, she gazed at the frosty fields. It
looked so lovely with the ice sparkling on the rock hard clods of earth around
her, as though a magic wand had been waved and the soil, which wasn’t always attractive,
had been made beautiful.
She knew if she stayed out too long
her father would be worried about her. It was well over a year since she’d
lost her car keys by the cliff edge. But her father still fussed about her
going out for long periods without telling him. Kate sighed and began to trudge
back across the fields towards the farmhouse. The walk had cleared her head,
but only a little. She was still angry with Emma, but her fuzzy headedness was
down to more than just her sister’s antics. She felt as if she was teetering
on the brink; that one false move and she would be gone. Since her
conversations with Martin, Kate had considered telling her father all about
Steven and her predicament. But she couldn’t. She’d kept the secret of him in
a box in her mind for so long, it was as though the lock was rusted solid and
there was no way to open it.
When she got back to the farmhouse
and walked through the front door, her father rushed to greet her.
‘Thank God you’re all right,’ he
said hugging her tightly.
‘Why wouldn’t I be?’ Kate asked surprised.
Her father looked like he had a lot
on his mind. ‘Come and sit down in the living room. We need to talk.’
‘All right. I hope nothing’s
wrong.’
Her father didn’t answer. Kate’s
heart was heavy. She sank down onto the sofa, its softness enveloping her. Her
father sat in the chair opposite. His face was so grey; in fact it was as
though he were made entirely of a flimsy grey fabric. Kate had never seen him
look so old.
‘I’ve received a letter.’ He picked
it up from the coffee table and held it up in his hand. ‘It’s addressed to me,
but it’s about you.’
‘What does it say?’ Kate asked in a
small voice.
‘It’s very short. It tells me that
I should keep a close eye on you, otherwise I might lose you.’
‘Have you any idea who it’s from?’
Kate whispered.
Her father shook his head. ‘Kate,
why do I have the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me?’
Kate was silent. She felt a tear
force its way out of her right eye and slide unbidden down her cheek.
‘Please, Kate, this is your life
I’m talking about. Someone wishes you harm. I think we may need to go to the
police, but before we do I need to know what it’s all about. I need your help
to help you.’
Kate gulped down a sob that was
threatening to engulf her. The rusty lock inside her started to loosen.
‘There’s… there’s someone you don’t
know about, Dad, someone in my life. At least he was in my life…’ She paused
to compose herself, then slowly began to tell her father about Steven and what
he’d meant to her. She told him why she thought Steven had vanished and why he
hadn’t returned. She mentioned Martin’s involvement.
‘Why didn’t you tell me about
Steven before?’ her father asked gently.
‘I just couldn’t. He was my
beautiful secret. I felt as though if I told you or Emma about him it would
somehow spoil it for me. Then when he disappeared there didn’t seem to be any
point in telling you about him anyway.’
‘So what do these people want with
you then?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t know why
they’re threatening me or how they even know I exist.’
Her father frowned, thinking. ‘I’m
glad you told me this, Kate. It makes a little more sense knowing about Steven
and his brother. As to these people threatening you, perhaps Steven mentioned
you to his brother.’
‘But he’s spent his whole life trying
to avoid him. Why would he talk to him about me?’
‘All right, maybe that’s not how
his brother found out about you. But Steven must have talked to someone about
you and it got back to his brother somehow. Or else he was being watched and
his movements reported back to his brother.’
‘It doesn’t seem very likely in
Cornwall.’
‘But the fact is you are being
watched, Kate. So it is possible. I think that Steven’s brother and his
cronies may well realise that he is alive and in hiding somewhere. They know
about you and they want to get at him, to bring him out of the woodwork if you
like, by hurting you.’
Kate could feel the colour drain
from her face. ‘So what do you suggest I do?’ she asked.
‘I think we need to talk to Martin
first of all. We need to find out what his thoughts are, if he can give us
some advice as to what to do. Having been Steven’s guardian, he will be best placed
to tell us about Steven’s background and in particular his brother. But this
is the last threat we’re going to take on the chin, Kate. If you or I receive
any more, we go straight to the police.’
She nodded, feeling a little
better. Finally telling her father about Steven had lightened her load. It
was a relief that she didn’t have to face the situation alone anymore.
‘Good. We’re agreed. Do you have
a number for Martin?’
‘No. But I know where his office
is at college. I’ll go and talk to him. He always seems keen to talk to me.’
‘Do it. We need to get this sorted
out as soon as possible. I don’t want my daughter being threatened and
harassed like this.’
A smile played on Kate’s lips. Her
father suddenly looked better, determined and strong. She just hoped that they
would be able to prevent these people from carrying out their threats.
Emma didn’t look back as she
boarded the train. She wanted to forget treacherous London that had seemed
like such a good friend when she’d arrived, promising her a blissful life but
standing by and watching as that life fell spectacularly apart. The train carriage
was already nearly full but she’d booked a seat and thankfully no one had taken
it. She sank down onto the seat clutching her battered bag which held what
remained of her life in it.
She hoped that this time no one
would talk to her. She didn’t relish the thought of exchanging pleasantries;
she only wanted to forget the past eighteen months. Thankfully however, as the
train pulled away from the station and slowly began to gather pace, no one’s
voice broke into her reverie and she closed her eyes. The events of her tumultuous
life in London unfolded in her mind and she watched them as if she was having a
private viewing of a film of her life.
Emma desperately didn’t want to
think about what had happened in London or the events at the farm that had gone
before. But her mind was remorseless and continually replayed her mistakes and
wrongdoings. Memories crowded in in no particular order. She heard again
Natalie’s laughter as they headed to their London house together for the first
time; saw her sister’s hostile expression as she left the farm in the taxi,
heading for her new life in London; the police interrupting the house party.
Then her remembrances seemed to
snowball and run away from her. Her experience of trying cannabis for the
first time got muddled up with her tryst with Tom. No, no that wasn’t right,
it didn’t happen in that order. What did happen when? Am I falling asleep?
Emma jolted up in her seat, suddenly awake. She glanced around the carriage,
almost as if to check that no one else had been a partaker of her vision.
Satisfied that everyone in the
carriage was ignoring her she exhaled slowly, the tension in her body gradually
evaporating. But then anxiety returned as she realised she had no idea where she
was, if the train had already been past Exeter and she’d missed her stop or
whether the train was actually only a few stations away from Paddington. Tentatively
she turned to the person sitting next to her, a harassed-looking young woman
with a toddler on her lap who was yanking on her hair.
‘Excuse me, do you know if we’ve
passed Exeter yet?’ she asked her.
‘I wish,’ the woman replied.
‘We’ve only just passed Swindon unfortunately. I’ve got at least another hour
and a half with this little monster.’
‘OK well thanks for letting me know.’
Emma wished she had some form of
reading material with her but she had nothing, only the stuff she’d had with
her in the hostel. That consisted of a change of clothes, some toiletries and
a bit of money in her pocket, so she had nothing to entertain herself with. But
at least her seat was by the window. She looked out watching the countryside
whizz past. There’s so much of the world I’ve never seen, she thought to
herself, nor am I likely to see it any time soon. Before she went to London
Emma had been desperate to see more of the world. She’d envisaged being based in
London but also having holidays abroad. She looked out of the window, watching
the towns give way to countryside, and remembered with a calm detachment that her
holiday to the Maldives with Natalie would have been fast approaching by now. But
she no longer had a burning desire to travel extensively. She just wanted to
see her family, make amends with them if she could and earn enough money to
feed herself.
Right now though she was resolved
to focus on the present and keep awake so that she didn’t miss Exeter. She
kept a mental note of every station they stopped at, looking at the leaflet
she’d picked up at the train station which listed the stops on the route. After
a while of doing this she felt hunger pangs stabbing her. She hadn’t eaten for
hours. The trolley with refreshments seemed to take ages to appear. When she
saw it slowly inching towards her, it was all she could do to stop herself from
jumping up and elbowing everyone else out of the way to get some food.
A few minutes later she was chewing
on a chocolate bar and sipping coffee. They hadn’t had any sandwiches. It
wasn’t exactly healthy eating but Emma didn’t need to worry about her weight
anyway. Since she’d been made homeless she’d lost a lot of weight. When she
looked at herself in the mirror, she saw that her cheeks were hollow. She looked
insubstantial, as if half of her was missing. She’d often thought to herself
lately how ironic it was that now she could probably fit into all those size
zero clothes she had coveted when she was shopping with Natalie, but she no
longer had the money to buy even a cheap T shirt.
As she was gazing out of the window
lost in her thoughts, Emma felt the train start to slow down. What was the last
station it had stopped at? She looked at the leaflet again frowning and
realised they were approaching Exeter. A nervous feeling uncurled in her
stomach. She was gradually getting closer to the farm, her home. Only it
wasn’t her home anymore and most likely she wouldn’t be welcome there. If I
could just get them to listen to me, she thought to herself. I need them to
understand that I don’t want anything from them, only a job so I can get back
on my feet again. After that I’ll leave them alone, she promised herself. She
could expect no more.
The train began to slow down and the
carriage burst into life. People were standing up and reaching into the
storage areas for their luggage. Emma stood up too, clutching her bag to her
chest as though for protection. She filed along behind the crowd of people in
the aisle and eventually alighted from the train onto the platform. The cold air
hit her like a slap in the face and she pulled her ineffectual coat more
tightly around her. Squinting in the harsh winter sunlight, she followed the
crowd of people who had also alighted from the train and were heading down the
steps from the platform towards the exit.
Emma’s anxious feeling returned as she
reached the exit. It was thronging with people making her feel bewildered. Amy’s
cousin was called Maggie and she’d told Emma that Maggie would be holding a
sign with her name on it when she got to the station so they could find each
other. Emma glanced around trying to swallow the bile that was threatening to
spill out of her throat. It’s no big deal she told herself; you just need to
wait until she turns up. It wasn’t really that that was bothering her though.
She was scared of seeing her family again. As she scanned the entrance of the
station her eyes settled on a piece of cardboard being held up. A closer look revealed
her name on it and immensely relieved, she rushed towards the woman who was
holding it.
‘Emma?’ the woman said.
‘Yes! You must be Maggie.’
‘That’s right. Let’s get out of
the cold. Follow me. I’m parked just outside.’
Emma smiled gratefully and followed
her as they hurried outside. The car was a red Volkswagen Polo and as Maggie
turned the key in the ignition and the heater came on, it felt like heaven to
Emma.
‘We’re going to drive straight down
if that’s OK with you,’ Maggie said glancing at Emma as she reversed the car
out of the parking space.
‘Yes, that’s fine,’ Emma replied,
relieved that there wouldn’t be too much time for conversation. That could be
awkward. She wondered how much Maggie knew about Amy’s situation. But she
certainly wasn’t going to enlighten her.
‘Have you eaten?’ Maggie asked as
they left the station car park and joined the main road.
‘Not much I’m afraid.’
‘All right, well we can stop at the
next services we come to and you can get a sandwich or something.’
‘Thanks, that would be great.’
They travelled on for a few miles
mostly in silence. Emma thought that Maggie seemed nice but taciturn,
completely different from Amy’s bubbly personality. She asked Emma a few
questions but thankfully none that were too probing. In spite of her hunger pangs
Emma could feel herself drifting off and was jolted awake by the car slowing
down to a halt.
‘We’re at the services,’ Maggie
told her. ‘I’ve already eaten, so I’ll stay here.’
‘OK.’
Emma got out of the car bracing
herself against the sharp cold wind. She dashed into the shop. It wasn’t
really a proper service station, just a petrol station with a small shop which
had a public convenience in one corner. But it had a small selection of
sandwiches and crisps as well as a coffee machine. She had just enough money
for it all without having to break into her ten pound note, which she wanted to
save. Having paid she rushed back to the car, desperate to get out of the
cold.
‘You all ready to go?’ Maggie asked
her.
‘Yes, thanks.’
They drove off and Emma hungrily
ate her sandwiches and crisps, savouring her coffee and drinking it slowly.
The coffee wasn’t wonderful but to Emma it tasted like nectar to an
energy-sapped bee. The journey down to Cornwall felt surreal to her. Passing through
familiar-looking Dartmoor made her feel odd. It was like she was journeying back
to square one; she almost got the feeling that her life in London had never
happened. It was just a bad dream that she was gradually waking from. As she
looked out of the window and watched the countryside pass by, she recalled the
night at the pub in Cornwall before she’d left for London. She’d been surrounded
by her friends and had felt invincible, bragging about what she’d do once she
got there. She regretted her arrogance now and wished she’d been more humble
about it all. But there were lots of things she regretted, things she’d said
and done which could never be unsaid or undone.
‘I can take you as far as Bodmin,’
Maggie said as they neared the point where Devon became Cornwall. ‘Would you
like me to drop you at the train station?’
‘Yes, that would be great.’ She
could get the bus from there.
They didn’t speak much after that.
Emma was relieved. She didn’t feel like talking. The rest of the journey flew
by and she found herself wondering yet again what her family’s response would
be at her return. Well it can’t be any worse than my run-ins with Natalie, she
thought ruefully. She rarely thought of her erstwhile friend these days but
when she did the memories were always painful. She still couldn’t understand
the depths of Natalie’s selfishness; how she continually put herself first even
to the point of walking away from a close friend in desperate need. Emma felt
a tear pool in her eye and blinked it away furiously.
Gradually the countryside began to
peter out and the further on they drove the landscape became increasingly
peppered with houses. She would have paid more attention to what was flashing
past the window now had it not been for her nerves, which were threatening to
overwhelm her. She was so scared her father would refuse point blank to speak
to her and that this long and expensive journey would have been all for
nothing. Would she end up swapping life on the streets in London for the same
life in Cornwall? She shuddered at the thought. She would do anything to
avoid that.
Emma was almost surprised when the
car slowed down, turned a corner and approached Bodmin Parkway station.
‘Here we are,’ Maggie said as she
turned into a parking space and the car ground to a halt.
Emma rubbed her tired eyes and
pulled herself out of her slumped position. The station brought back memories for
her; it was from here that she’d first journeyed to London a year ago. She
unbuckled her seat belt, pulling her coat more tightly around her and turned to
Maggie.
‘I can never thank you enough for
this lift,’ she said. ‘I don’t have any money to pay you…’
‘It doesn’t matter. I can tell
that you’re going through hard times and I don’t expect any payment from you or
Amy. I’m doing this for both of you, because I realise how easily I could be
in your situation myself.’
‘So Amy told you about our… situation?’
Emma was unable to hide her surprise.
‘She didn’t need to. I’ve known
her all her life. I could tell from talking to her that she was going through
a rough patch. I’ve offered to help in the past but she just won’t accept it.
So this is my way of contributing.’
Emma nodded. This was the most
Maggie had spoken to her since she picked her up in Exeter. But taciturn or
not Maggie had done her an incredibly big favour and she was indebted to her.
Emma got out of the car.
‘Well thank you again. I’ll stay
in touch with Amy. Maybe in the future things will be better.’
‘Yes. Best of luck, Emma. Take
care.’
And with that Maggie reversed out of the
parking space and drove off. Emma was on her own.