The Initiate Brother Duology (96 page)

Nishima nodded. Kitsura was not one to remain sad, no matter what the circumstances, and she could never bear to see her cousin anything but cheerful. But Nishima could not pretend happiness; any smile she summoned would be entirely artificial. Kitsura fell silent for a few seconds before she spoke again.

“Do you wonder what part Jaku played in the sudden decision to raise an
Imperial Army? He claims it was the influence of his friends at court, but…”

Nishima opened her fan and looked at the pattern of plum trees in blossom. “I think our test told the truth, Kitsu-sum: he is no longer in favor at court. I do not think Jaku would align himself so closely with my father if he were at all concerned with the Emperor and what he might think. No, he is ever the opportunist—when the Emperor decided to raise an army to protect himself from any designs the Shonto might have, General Jaku stepped to the fore and claimed credit. I do not trust him, Kitsu-sum. I do not trust him at all.”

Kitsura shrugged. “Still, he is a handsome man….”

“You are impossible,” Nishima said, and though her tone was meant to be mock dismay she did not quite carry it off. “Jaku Katta is so embroiled in plots that it is a wonder he knows who to tell what lies to.”

Kitsura smiled tightly. “We all plot, cousin. For some reason those of us from older families think we have a right to plot, while those who have only recently risen step beyond social conventions when they do the same.” She shrugged.

Nishima did not know what to answer. “I made the mistake of allowing myself to be drawn by his appearance, Kitsu-sum, but I was acting in a very foolish manner.”

Kitsura regarded her cousin, who stared at the pattern on the charcoal burner. “You have not developed another interest, have you, cousin?”

Nishima glanced up, then went back to her examination of the burner. “No, of course not. I simply feel that I was foolish in my regard for Jaku Katta.”

“Huh.” Kitsura produced a brush and began to comb out her long hair. “We will pass the fane of the Lovers again—in a few days if we do not pause. A fascinating thing, don’t you think? It would be interesting to know more. I regret that I did not look into the archives while we were in Seh.”

Nishima carefully smoothed a crease in her robe. “Yes, it would have been intriguing, I’m sure.”

The silence returned. The sounds of water lapping and bubbling past the hull. A tap sounded on the door, making them both start.

“Please, enter,” Nishima said.

Shimeko’s face appeared as the door opened. She bowed quickly. “Brother Shuyun calls, Lady Nishima.”

Nishima was not quite able to hide her pleasure at this news. “Ahh. Please, ask him to join us.”

Kitsura nodded to her companion and started to rise. “I must be going, cousin.”

“Kitsu-sum, I’m sure Brother Shuyun would welcome your presence.”

As she said this, the door swung open and Shuyun stepped past a bowing Shimeko. Kneeling, Shuyun bowed and as he did so Nishima noticed Shimeko perform a sign to Botahara as she pulled the door closed.

Kitsura and Nishima nodded to the monk.

“It is kind of you to visit, Brother. I am having difficulty convincing Kitsura-sum to stay….”

Kitsura favored them both with her most disarming smile. “Please, cousin, Brother Shuyun, I have other matters calling me. I regret missing your company,” she said to Shuyun, then nodded again. “If your duties allow you time for gii, Brother, I would be delighted to have your company.” She nodded to Nishima. “Cousin.” Kitsura slipped out, opening the door herself and giving a final smile as she left.

The sounds of the river craft’s progress seemed to fill the cabin.

“I received a message from Lady Okara,” Shuyun said quietly. “She was concerned that the news from Seh had affected both you and Lady Kitsura most adversely. I came to inquire of your well-being.”

“You are kind, Shuyun-sum, and Lady Okara is most considerate.” She gestured to the windows. “It is difficult to remain tranquil when war has returned to Wa. So many men remained in Rhojo-ma. It is a tragedy, certainly. To provide us with a handful of days…” She shook her head. “It is like the coming of the plague. You look around you and ask ‘who will live and who will die?’ I’m certain it haunts everyone equally.” She looked up and tried to smile. “Do not be overly concerned, Brother, the shock of it beginning—becoming real, will soon wear off.”

Shuyun nodded. “It is a sad truth, Lady Nishima. The shock of war wears off. Perhaps if it did not, fewer wars would be undertaken.”

A look of pain flickered across Nishima’s face, but she recovered her poise immediately.

“And you Shuyun-sum, how do you fare, now that war is with us?”

Shuyun thought for a moment. “When I traveled in the desert, the monk I met there…he said that war brings no soul to perfection. The suffering to come—it is difficult to imagine that it is the karma of so many to suffer this way.” He fell silent, looking toward the stern windows.

“I am a follower of Botahara, yet my Order has instructed me to support Lord Shonto in all of his endeavors—for the good of the Brotherhood which preserves the teaching of Botahara. So I go to war also.” He looked up and met Nishima’s eyes. “It is not the place of a Spiritual Advisor to burden his charges with his own conflicts. I apologize.” He bowed low.

Nishima reached out and caught his sleeve as he bowed. “Shuyun-sum, please, do not apologize. Outside of this room I must be Lady Nishima Fanisan Shonto—I have great obligations to my uncle and our House. I confess that I find this role taxes me to my limit at times. If I did not have some place and someone with whom I could speak openly….” She shrugged. “Your role is as difficult, I’m sure. It seems to be true that our lives are fraught with contradictions and I am honored that you would speak of these to me.” She gestured with a sweep of her sleeve. “This room feels like a haven in which I do not have to play out my role of Lady of a Great House. In truth, Shuyun-sum, I feel less need for a Spiritual Advisor and more need for a friend.”

She took his hand. “What happens in this room is between us and no one else. I would not speak of it even to my liege-lord. Be at your ease, Shuyun-sum. It is my hope that here the Lady and the Advisor may be only Nishi-sum and Shuyun-sum. Nothing else.” She tugged at his hand as if she would draw him closer and he seemed to become stiff and awkward.

“It is difficult, Lady Nishima,” he said formally, “to forget that I am a Brother.”

Nishima stared into his eyes until he looked away. “It is not easy to forget that I am the daughter of two Great Houses. I have been trained to always be thus.” She bowed formally, returning to a kneeling position, her posture relaxed but erect. The look on her face spoke of lack of involvement with the world around her—the pose of the sophisticated aristocrat. Then she broke into a smile.

“And you, my friend, are always so.” She performed a perfect imitation of a Botahist double bow and then returned to the kneeling position, hands on her thighs, her face an impenetrable mask of serenity. She let out a long controlled breath as though she would enter a meditative state.

So perfect was her imitation that Shuyun was at first shocked and then he broke into a grin.

“There!” Nishima said in triumph. She moved quickly to his side, still facing him. “I have just seen the true Shuyun-sum.” She took his hands and his smile was gone as quickly as it had come. “Please, do not disappear again,” she said in a small voice.

Shuyun’s face almost seemed to flicker like a candle, wavering between the mask of a Botahist Brother and the expressive face of the young man that Nishima had just caught a glimpse of.

“This discomfort you feel in the presence of women, Shuyun-sum, it simply has to be overcome.”

He started to protest, but before words formed she reached out and pushed him, almost toppling him over.

“Ahh, a point of resistance! Your teachers would be most disappointed.” She slipped into his arms and buried her face in his neck. “This is the comfort I need. The comfort of a friend,” she whispered. “And you, Shuyun-sum, must learn comfort in the company of women. I will be your teacher in this.”

They stayed thus for a moment and then Nishima spoke again. “Breathe as I do,” and they went through a breathing exercise designed to relax the muscles.

“The night we spent together—I could feel your resistance, as I can feel it now.” She pushed against him with her body and again there was a second of resistance. Pulling away, she stood quickly and blew out the hanging lamp. She took his hands then in the dark, a hint of light coming in the stern windows. “Promise me you will not leave?”

Shuyun hesitated and she squeezed his hands until he nodded. She disappeared into another part of the cabin and returned almost immediately. In the dim light she rearranged the cushions and spread a thick quilt over them. She turned to Shuyun who sat like a stone.

“Lady Nishima, I…”

She took both his hands again. “There is no Lady Nishima present and all Spiritual Advisors are henceforth banned from my chambers. You, Shuyun-sum, are welcomed.”

He followed as she gently pulled until he was in the hastily made bed. She joined him, pulling the quilt over them both. Taking his hands between her own she said, “The object of tonight’s lesson is to attain a state of tranquillity in the presence of a woman.” She reached out and squeezed the muscle in his
shoulder which was a knot of tension. “You must begin by relaxation of the muscles. You do know how to do this?”

He nodded.

“Begin,” she instructed and felt him control his breathing, sinking into a meditative state. After a few moments she pushed herself into his arms again. She was wearing only a single robe of the thinnest silk and when Nishima came close to him she felt the tension return. “Do not let my presence destroy your tranquillity, Shuyun-sum,” she whispered in his ear. “I intend to let your presence enhance my tranquillity.” She took a long deep breath and released it like a shudder. “Your arms are around me, but your hands float in the air. You cannot possibly be relaxed like this…That is better.”

They lay close in the dark for a long time, neither speaking nor moving. Then Shuyun felt soft lips kiss his neck and Nishima whispered in his ear, her words as soft as a sigh.

“We come soon to the Faceless Lovers.”

He nodded.

“Lord Botahara knew women?”

He nodded again, more slowly.

“And yet he attained perfection…. Meditate upon that if you will not sleep.” She kissed his neck again, then he felt her breathe herself to sleep.

Shuyun lay awake for some time thinking of the image carved into the wall of Denji Gorge and then he, too, forced himself into sleep.

Later Nishima awoke, feeling Shuyun’s warmth close to her. They were of a size in height, but the years of training had given his muscles a tone that could not be equaled and yet he did not have the massive physique of the kick boxers she had seen. She turned carefully, trying not to wake him but was unsuccessful. Gently pushing her back into his chest, she felt him stir.

“Shh, sleep,” she whispered. She took his hand in the dark and kissed it softly. Holding it for a moment as though making a decision, she guided his hand through her open robe to her breast then held it there firmly. Stifling a small moan, she began a breathing exercise. That is enough for this lesson, she thought, I will certainly frighten him away. Thinking this she pressed his hand tighter. The burbling of the boat passing through calm water was like the music of delight itself, joyous, irrepressible.

When the watch changed, Nishima awoke again, warm, languid. Shuyun’s hand still caressed her breast and she felt her entire body flash with heat, her
breathing became urgent. She started to control this but then felt Shuyun wake in response to her own state. His hand moved on her breast and she turned toward him, shrugging her arm out of the sleeve of her robe.

Pushing as close to him as was humanly possible, she began kissing his neck, then his cheeks and the corners of his eyes. He reacted by pulling her closer, so close that she could not move.

“Nishi-sum…I cannot….” He started to pull away, but she would not release him.

“No, Shuyun-sum, please…stay a while. I will feel I have acted terribly if you go. I will never forgive myself.”

He stopped trying to pull away and they lay rocking each other gently until both found their breath again. Nishima made no attempt to replace her robe but lay in the circle of Shuyun’s warmth.

He ran his fingers slowly up her spine and she found herself focusing on this touch as if nothing else in the world mattered. Heat seemed to radiate from his hand. Slowly his fingers went down her back and she willed him not to stop. Pushing his palm flat against the base of her spine, she felt the chi flow, like a glowing warmth, like a tiny branch of lightning.

And then the chi flowed out from his hand and Nishima felt it touch the center of her desire. She could not catch her breath. She smothered a moan, fighting not to let him know what she was feeling. As though it had a will of its own, she felt her body push closer to Shuyun’s. The lightning branched from his hand.

Burying her face in Shuyun’s chest Nishima moaned uncontrollably. She began to convulse, his hand almost unbearably hot on her back. Shuddering for what seemed like moments on end Nishima finally lay, unmoving, in Shuyun’s arms.

Botahara save me, she thought, did he feel nothing? Could I have felt the skies open while he felt nothing?

*   *   *

Before the darkness disappeared, Shuyun slipped out onto the deck, finding himself a place to sit among the cargo. He had left Nishima sleeping, using his Botahist training to move silently. And now the cold air and infinite night were an almost painful contrast to the warmth of Nishima’s cabin, the warmth of her presence.

Shuyun began a silent prayer for forgiveness but lost the thread of it almost immediately. What is to become of me? he wondered. For what I have
done I should be stripped of my sash and pendant and turned out of my Order. He brought a lifetime of training to bear on the chaos he felt within, but the turmoil resisted the attempt to impose order.