The Ivy Lessons (19 page)

‘Open your legs up for teacher, there’s a good girl.’ He doesn’t wait for me to move my feet this time, he just forces my legs apart with his hands and pushes
himself between my thighs. ‘Oh G
od,
do
you know how hard it is to be controlled around you?’

I feel hardness pushing against
me, and I want to moan but I bite the cane instead.

‘Knowing you were in here, ready and waiting for me. I nearly ripped open the door and fucked you with everyone listening,’ says
Marc
. ‘I thought I could control myself, but it’s dangerous with you. You’re testing my limits.’

He pushes himself a little inside me, and although it’s a tight fit,
it feels so good.

His hand slides between my legs
as he
pushes
himself
further and further.
Now i
t’s a
very
tight fit, and a few times it catches me just a little bit painfully. He seems to sense this, and keeps me just on the threshold of pain. Bearable.

The
further he gets inside, the better it feels. I notice
his hand rubbing
too, and warmth builds inside
.

I bite into the cane, feeling an orgasm overtake me, and
Marc
pulls out.

I fall into the ropes, breathing hard, feeling pleasure all over.

Marc
takes me carefully in his arms
and
unties the ropes, then helps me into my clothing
.

I glance down and see he’s wearing a green condom that seems stretched to bursting point.

Wow. That thing was inside of me? Amazing. I’d never of thought it could fit.

Then something else occurs to me.

‘Didn’t you come?’ I ask.

He shakes his head.

‘Why not?’
Didn’t you want to? Was I too disappointing?

‘I like to stay in charge
,’ he says. ‘It wouldn’t do to lose control in front of you. I’m teaching you about pleasure. I’ll take my own later.’

‘How?’ I ask, thinking about the tabloid story.
‘With another woman?’ I cringe as I say the words.
Another woman.
It’s not like you’re his girlfriend ...

Marc
smiles. ‘Would it bother you if it was?’

‘I don’t know.’ I look at my fingernails. They’ve always been bitten, but they’re so much worse since
I met Marc
.
I realise then how stupid I’m being. I’ve been swept along by this man, but everything is on his terms.
‘Yes. It bothers me. And it
bothers me you didn’t come
.’

‘Why?’
Marc
asks.

‘I suppose it’s the control thing. You can control me. How I’m feeling. But you’re not allowing me to have an effect on you.’

‘Oh believe me,’ says
Marc
, taking off his suit jacket and throwing it on the desk. ‘You’re having an effect on me.’

‘But you’re not letting me in,’ I say. ‘You’re not letting me close to you.’

Marc
stares at the plays lined up along the shelves. ‘I’ve
let you closer than anyone has ever been
.’

Chapter 41

‘Really?’
I say.

Marc
nods. He looks at his knuckles, suddenly, and I see they’re criss-
crossed with scars
.

‘It doesn’t feel like you’re letting me close at all.’

‘
I am. For me I am.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘
Everyone else, I’ve just had fun with, in my own fucke
d up way
. But with you ... it’s something more. Your pleasure is so much more important to me than my own.’

I breathe out, wishing I had the courage to ask him again about other women. But something inside tells me
I won’t like the answer
.

Marc
puts his hands either side of my face, and brings me closer to him. His eyes are so intense. So riveting. And he’s so handsome. This man says he has feelings
for me. It’s
hard to believe.

‘I’m looking forward to our next lesson,’ he whispers,
and I feel a hardness
in his trousers. ‘You’ve had a lesson in inhibition. And self discipline. Now I think it’s time to stretch your boundaries. To have you try things you’d never dream of doing.’

I stare at him. ‘You think I’ve dre
amed of being tied up
in a stationary cupboard?’

He nods
. ‘
If you’d used your imagination,
I’m sure you could
have
dreamed it up
, in the right circumstances. So
me
nice student boyfriend. A few drinks. He finds a bit of rope and wants to play around.’

‘So what wouldn’t I dream of doing?’

‘That’s what we’re going to find out,’ says
Marc
. ‘But not on campus.’

‘W
here?’ I ask.

‘My town house
.
Tonight.
We’ll have dinner. And w
e’ll get to know each other a lot better
.
’

And here I was thinking we knew each other pretty well.

‘Your town house
? Are y
ou sure.’ Going to his home
for dinner – it sounds almost too normal.

Marc
nods.
‘There are no lectures tomorrow. It’s a study day. So you’ll have plenty of time to recover.’

‘What time tonight
?’ I ask, barely able to contain he eagerness in my voice.
‘And – how am I going to get there without anyone seeing me. The press ...’

Marc
checks his watch. ‘I’ll let you know. In the meantime, don’t study too hard.’

‘I have a cla
ss with Denise Crompton
right after this,’ I say. ‘Si
nging. I can’t sing
.’

‘Everyone can sing,’ says
Marc
. ‘It’s all about letting go.’

Chapter 42

The class with Denise is lots of fun, and we finish with a round-robin chorus that leaves us all in a good mood.

As we’re leaving
class, Denise takes my arm.

‘
Sophia my love, c
an I
have a quick word
?’

I look at Tanya and Tom, who look back at me quizzically.

‘Sure,’ I say.

She waits until all the pupils have left the room, then closes the classroom door. It’s very warm in her classroom. Almost stuffy, but not quite. She goes to a kettle by the window and switches it on.

‘Tea?’

‘Oh. Yes please.’

‘I only have herbal, I’m afraid. The milk goes off in here. Take a seat.’

I sit down, confused.

‘Look, I’ll
straight
get to the point,’ says Denise, putting teabags into cups. ‘I heard about rag week. That you had something put into your drink.
’

I nod. ‘I’m much better now.’

‘Are you sure?’ says Denise. ‘
I just wanted you to know that if you ever needed to talk about anything, I’m right here
.
I’m a very good listener.
’

‘Thanks so much
,’ I say. ‘Marc – I
mean, Mr
Blackwell
, has already been really kind. He had
me taken to a private hospital. And I was ... thoroughly checked over.’

‘Very kind,’ says Denise. ‘
Yes,
Marc
’s
a good man
.’

‘How well do you know him?’ I ask, wondering if maybe I can get some information about this complex man
,
whom no one seems to know anything about.

‘I’ve known him since
he was a boy,’ says Denise.

‘I heard something about that,’ I say. ‘That his dad wasn’t very nice to him. Or something.’

Denise nods. ‘He’s a very complex character is our
Marc
.’

You can say that again.

‘I k
now he seems very stuck up
at first
,
’ she continues.
‘Even arrogant. But
deep down he has people’s best interests at heart, no matter how he comes across on the
surface.’
She pours water into
the cups. ‘Do I detect some ... how can I put this? Some interest in Mr
Blackwell
on your part?’

My blood runs cold. Does she know what’s going on between
Marc
and I?

Denise hands me a cup
.
‘It’s not my place to ask anything personal,
b
ut I can promise you, i
f you wanted to get anything off your chest
it would be absolutely confidential. I wouldn’t tell a soul. Even as part of
the university staff, my students
come first. Always.’

‘Thank you,’ I say. ‘I appreciat
e that.’

Denise
sighs. ‘I
’ve noticed ... a change in Marc this term.
’
She watches me carefully. ‘He seems confused. And he’s spoken about you. He’s never mentioned a pupil before.’

My eyes widen.
How much does she know? ‘What did
Marc
say
to you?’

Denise shakes her head. ‘Not
hing
at all
of any significance
.
But he didn’t need to. I
hope
this doesn’t sound too big headed
, but I’m a very intuitive person
.
I can feel things clearly that most people are blind to. And I see feel Marc is interested in you. And you him. So maybe something
is
unfol
ding between the two of you. Am
I right?
’

‘Um ...’ I take a sip of hot tea and burn my tongue. I look into her kind eyes and know I can’t lie to her. ‘Yes,’ I say.
‘Things are maybe ...
I like him
.’
I feel relieved to tell her.
‘
But I’m not sure ... the way things are going. I don’t understand it. It’s like nothing that’s ever happened to me before. He seems to care about me. To really feel things for me. But everything’s on his terms.’

Denise nods. ‘That sounds like
Marc
. Maybe I shouldn’t have spoken to you about this. I should have let you talk to your friends, or whoever your confidents are. But I understand from your application form that your mother passed away, and I felt l wanted to put myself forward as someone you can talk to. Should you ever want to.
I want you to know I care.
’

‘Thank you,’ I say,
feeling overwhelmed by her concern
. ‘I appreciate that.’

‘Have you and
Marc
...
may I ask,
has it been intimate?
’

Chapter 43

‘Yes,
’ I say,
blushing. I take
a sip of tea. It’s soothing and I feel my throat loosen up.

Denise smiles. ‘Tell me to
get on my bike if you think this is
none of my business.’

‘No, it’s okay,’ I say. ‘I
t’s a relief to talk
about this
, actually.
To s
omeone mature.’

‘And you’re using contraception? I’m sorry to be so blunt, but I care about my pupils and I want to make sure they’re okay. A lovely young woman like you doesn’t want a baby to have to worry about – not when she’s just starting out in life.’

I feel embarrassed and nod quickly. ‘Yes, he’s been taking care of that.’ I put my head in my hands. ‘It’s so hard. Everything has to be a secret, because if anyone finds out
Marc
woul
dn’t carry on teaching here
, and all the students would lose an amazing actor as their teacher.’

‘Oh, he’s that alright,’ says Denise. ‘A truly amazing actor. But he’s been through some hardships to get there, just like your hardships make you a great actor too.’

‘I don’t see myself as a great actor,’ I say. ‘I’m not of
Marc
’s calibre.’

‘Maybe not at 23, but by the time you’re 27 I see no reason why not. You’re better than
Marc
was at your age, and he started younger than you. He was bullied into it. Acting. Did he tell you that?’