The Journal of Vincent Du Maurier Trilogy (Books 1, 2, 3) (34 page)

As though moving through molasses again, I stretched
my arm out and reached for the bearish vampire’s free hand, slapping it down
before throwing my body up against his chest and standing in-between him and
the lanky one. My movements felt sluggish, but the vampire’s response to my
intrusion was slower still and I had time to tear into the aggressor’s marble
flesh with my fangs. My stomach hardened with the trapped emotion inside it, as
I converted it all to rage. All those feelings I’d swallowed since turning to
stone erupted from my center and shot out of me, channeled into my jaw on his
flesh.

But like baby teeth on a man’s forearm, my fangs had
no impact on the vampire’s skin. The force behind my bite was far greater than
the bite itself. I’m embarrassed to picture the absurdity of the scene now, as
the bearish vampire received my fangs like the annoyance of a single gnat
feeding on a sunbather’s skin. My feat of bravery proved entertaining for the
crowd around me, though, and before the hulking vampire shook me loose, he
laughed a deep belly roar that infected the jeering vampires. Soon the steerage
quarters were in uproar, as those watching laughed at the spectacle and those absent
rushed in to see what the laughter was about.

I’d yet to learn of vampire energies, but the
collective educated me when they rose up and cheered for the underdog. The
lanky vampire, empowered by his supporters’ clamor and my distraction, used his
claws to peel away the fingers on his neck. But his efforts were in vain, for
he couldn’t loosen his contender’s grip. His signal tore into me with even
greater intensity, as he redoubled his effort. I got up from the deck, shaking
off the crash, and jumped onto the back of the bearish vampire, forgetting the
weakness I’d already shown. The lanky one used my second diversion to his
advantage and instead of peeling his competitor’s wiry fingers from his neck,
he reached out for the back of his opponent’s head. I had a front row seat to
the horror, as the lanky one used his talons to yank the other’s scalp, tearing
it at the base of his head. The bearish vampire tossed his shoulders up and
threw his head back, releasing his grip on the lanky one. I also lost my hold,
as his sudden jerk knocked me off him again. He threw a hand over the wound to
feel for damage, but there was no blood—there’s never blood—though
there was a victory.

Taking advantage of the distraction, the lanky
vampire dropped his hands to the deck like a bull ready to charge, and then
bolted for his opponent with his entire body, thrusting into him and slamming
him clear across the ring. The hypnotic chant of his drum finally subsided, as
he stood victorious in the midst of the crowd. The spell broken, I realized
what I’d done, as I lay on the deck, recovering from the force of the bearish
vampire. The battle, however, wasn’t over. As the lanky vampire approached me,
a figure arose behind him with a signal that peaked. The devil had bolted up, his
eyes teeming with hate, as he scanned the deck for his object of revenge. I was
his opponent now, though oblivious to having become his target. He pushed my
new friend out of the way and rushed at me with a vengeance.

***

THE JOURNAL OF VINCENT DU
MAURIER

18 December.
—
I had decided to kill the donor. I waited for her in my cabin,
itching for a quarry. Ever since I had taken off Vlad’s head, I felt the desire
to sink my teeth into something perishable and helpless. Or perhaps I still
mourn my loss. When the girl arrived and greeted me with her small hello, my
hatred cooled. I invited her inside and asked her to sit on the berth. She
obeyed and stared up at me with eyes as willing as Evelina’s once upon a time.
I wondered if she tasted like my lost one.

“What is your name?” I asked.

“Gia,” she said.

“How long have you been on the ship?”

“Ten months,” she said.

She looked well for a girl who had been used up
since the beginning.

“You feel safe here?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said. “Especially now.”

“Why especially now?”

“I’m one of the nannies,” she said. “I help take
care of the baby.”

The girl could not know what she said to me. I had
not seen the child. I had avoided it, not knowing how to proceed. I can do
nothing until the novice is ready, and she has not mastered anything yet.

“And this makes you safer?” I asked.

She nodded and said, “Empress Cixi loves the child
like her own. She dotes on Lucia and praises anyone who cares for her. She
asked me and Muriel—Muriel breastfeeds since she just lost—”

“May I bite you,” I said, cutting her off. I did not
want to lose my appetite over mawkish and human details.

She nodded and stretched her head to the side,
offering her bounty. I took her in my arms, recalling the frail body of my
girl; Evelina is changed now, and I do not know if I can hold her as I once did
without the embrace invoking my wrath.

“I’m ready,” she said. “You may feed on me.”

Her voice of submission, her eagerness, her lack of
trepidation lessened my desire. But I was hungry and fed nevertheless. As I
drank her in, I thought I must suffer this. I will never again taste the blood
I crave. I must learn to enjoy this despite my circumstances.

Perhaps it is the chase I miss, which makes me
indifferent, or perhaps being trapped on this floating prison keeps me from
enjoying the willing donors. I cannot say why I am lost, Byron, even if my
reasons are obvious. Though I write to you, as you are my confessor and fill my
heart and still occupy my mind, you are no longer the soulmate I believed you
to be. My true match has been revealed, a fitting partner for this ancient and
solitary creature.

I have yet to record my discovery, for I am not
certain I experienced that which I think I did, but I will divulge my secret
now. While I fed on the donor, my attention was taken with a signal not unlike
my own. At first I thought I was hearing my frequency somehow, but then
realized it was coming from outside the cabin. The sound matched mine so
perfectly, I thought I imagined it. The sparrow’s echo was relentless and
called to me as if uninhibited, yearning to greet me. I covered the girl’s
mouth, for she continued to beg me, and I listened to the perfect loop of my
own call. It sang to me, seeking me out. Frozen where I stood, I could not
bring myself to open the door and witness the arrival of the one who had been
made for me.

“Tell me why our signals are not the same,” you had
asked me all those years ago, “since I carry your venom.”

“Because no two frequencies are alike, my love,” I
had said. “They are equatable to human DNA. They assure us of our uniqueness.”

I could not know the truth before now, for my equal
had not come until this very moment. I left the feeble girl on my berth and
headed out to find my counterpart, the one for which I was made.

I had to focus on the loop just to stay above the
other sounds and frequencies that seemed to want to block my way. I sank lower
into the ship, going down several levels to steerage. The cause for chaos in
the lower passageways could only be one, a ritual battle was in progress. I
pushed past the vampires rushing toward the ring. I was uninterested in seeing
the two fighting in the hold, having avoided Cixi’s boorish clan since
boarding. I thought letting her vampires satisfy their brutal nature was asking
for all kinds of trouble, but I would never tell her so.

I lost the sparrow for a time, as a mix of ill-tuned
sounds came at me. But I was not one to lose focus for long, and I closed my
eyes to bring the sound back to me. When everything fell away, and the sparrow
chanted anew, I headed toward it. I entered the compartment from the mezzanine
above. I did not need to push my way through the crowd, for they peeled back
when they saw me coming. The sparrow was all I heard, as vampires catcalled and
whistled for the warriors in the ring. When I looked down at the deck below and
saw Evelina in the fray, I went blind with rage, no longer attuned to anything
but the imagined voice of my girl, begging me to save her. The compartment
hushed, as I swooped down to the metal deck and sliced the head off the vampire
who loomed over her. I would not deliberate, or consider the consequences; he
needed to be gone.

When I looked at Evelina, I saw the face I had
memorized, my source of solace over the last few months. Her smile and eyes and
blushing cheeks welcomed me with their familiarity. “Are you all right?” I
asked.

“Yes,” she said.

I told her to get up. I wanted to pick her up myself
and carry her to safety, but I could not show favor or reveal her weakness to
the taunting crowd. The vampires would not take kindly to her if deemed
incapable. The damage I had already done by killing her attacker was reason
enough for concern.

When Peter arrived with Zhi, I signaled for him to
take her away and he obeyed, pulling her out before a second bout of chaos
erupted. Zhi was not happy about losing one of his soldiers.

“Zuì hao de,” he said.

“I doubt he was your best,” I said.

Zhi ranted for a time, ignoring the calls of the
vampires above us, but I pacified the boatman, assuring him I would fill the
position his soldier had vacated.

“Ni, Gu yi?”

“Yes, me,” I said.

He smiled and clicked his teeth, pulling on his
opium pipe. He stuck out his hand to clasp mine. My offer pleased him, for he
could not wish for a greater warrior than me.

It was a false offer, of course. I do not plan on
staying aboard the Empress’s ship longer than I have to, and I certainly do not
see myself serving in her foolish army. I will take what I need and disappear
again, out into the treacherous world of bloodless and hunger. Anything is
better than being trapped in Cixi’s cesspool. But I will not leave without my
counterpart and when I hear the sparrow again, I will discover to whom the
signal belongs. The vampire will bend to my desire and follow me wherever I go.

Later —
Peter came to tell me of
Evelina’s recovery. He has been as loyal as I expected. I will admit I was
surprised to find him here. This is no place for a cenobite, and he is far from
any monastic life on the ship. But I understand his conflict. He straddles two
worlds bound by his religion and the false texts he harbors. I admire him,
though. Galla was right to make him hers.

“Her arm is healed,” Peter said. “But I fear she
hasn’t learned self-control.”

“They are all gluttonous in the beginning,” I said,
recalling Byron in the early days.

“Why are you smiling?”

I waved my hand at him and said, “Did she heal
quickly?”

“Before even tasting him,” he said. “The moment he
entered the cabin, in fact.”

Her reaction to the donor’s blood was strange,
though I have witnessed a similar effect in others a handful of times. “What
happened?”

Peter knew exactly what I asked, and dropped his
eyes to the deck when contemplating how to explain it. “She heard his
frequency,” he said. “It took over and I couldn’t read anything else—it
was as if that was all she heard.”

I considered what he said before asking him to relay
the details of the fight. When he told me she had jumped down of her own
volition and run straight for the large vampire, biting into his forearm, I
tried to picture the scene, unable to imagine my frail Evelina pulling off such
a feat.

“She was tossed across the deck,” he said. “But was
completely unfazed by it and rose to strike back. Apparently she’s incapable of
tempering this aspect.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“I saw it,” he said. “It was clear how driven she
was to save Brice—he’s the skinny one—to put a stop to his torture.
She has a penchant for heroism, which is no surprise.”

He looked at me eagerly, as though expecting me to
agree. But he was mistaken. I am not the cause of her bravery. She was brave
long before I met her.

“You admire her still, don’t you?”

I ignored his question and told him we needed to
step up her training. “She is in danger if she cannot defend herself. I have
yet to take stock of the vampires aboard, but when I find the right trainer, I
will let you know. For now, keep her with you and do not let her into the ring
again.”

“I would have never gone if Zhi—”

“I know,” I said. “But you must be more discerning
about friends and enemies. Sometimes one is difficult to tell from the other.”

I dismissed him and told him I would check in with
her eventually.

I am heavy with my thoughts, Byron. I do not know
why this burdens me so, and why I continue to stay on. Can she really mean this
much to me? Have you infected me with some maudlin poison that weighs me down
with its sentimental serum?

I must soak my fangs anew and rid the ache of her
lost blood. Perhaps if I drink my fill of another, I can overcome my desire for
her.

Later Still —
I sought out the first
donor. I could not bear returning to the one I had tasted
before—Evelina’s lesser mimic. I fetched the redhead instead. Her blood
had consoled me when I discovered my sleeping angel, and she had given herself
to the novice when I had already taken so much from her. She was willing and
submissive, and I had tried to drown myself in her taste to banish the other.

I formed my plan as I walked the passageway to the
human section of the ship. The Empress had given me free reign, despite her
desire to cage me. She was shrewd, and knew just how much freedom to offer. She
would not test one like me. She needed me as an ally even if she did not know
it.

The vampire guarding the donor’s cabin greeted me
with a small salute and stepped aside after knocking on her door. The redhead
opened the door and gestured for me to enter.

“Come with me,” I said.

Her bodyguard straightened his back, as though
tucking in his peacock feathers, and I offered him a smile while I waited for
the girl to dress for the outside.

As I escorted the redhead back to my compartment, I
could not resist running my fingers through her fine hair. She was in front of
me and stopped when I touched her. She turned and looked directly at me; she
was not fearful, and her brashness dampened my mood.

“Carry on,” I said, motioning for her to turn around
and continue.

When we reached my cabin, she stopped and looked at
me again. I avoided her eyes, but smiled at her eagerness. She seemed poised
despite the show of my subtle fangs, which had been out since I fetched her
from her cabin. When she swallowed, however, she evinced the slightest
trepidation and my urge to taste her was renewed.

I wasted no time with conversation and took to her
the moment I shut the door. She collapsed in my arms and I laid her on the
berth. I suffered the taste, but enjoyed the high. I was desperate to go up on
deck to greet the night, but I sat in the chair across from her, waiting for
her revival. I wanted to speak to her about my plan.

“Thank you,” I said when she opened her eyes.

Her body trembled, as she pushed herself up. I had a
small decanter of red wine on my bureau for this purpose. My steward had brought
a clean silver goblet, a carafe of wine and a plump stack of European
cigarettes in case the Empress paid me a visit. I offered the redhead the drink
and she sipped it after sitting up. She moved to the edge of my berth and sat
with her legs crossed in front of her. She was a pretty girl—a woman,
really—with a softness about her that I assumed was due to her role on
the ship. She was demure, despite her show of boldness. Perhaps she was not as
fearless as I thought.

“Do you feel better?” She asked.

“I am fine,” I said. “Are you?”

She nodded and sipped the Cabernet.

“I’m used to it,” she said. “I’ve been doing it long
enough.”

“At what cost?” I asked, genuinely curious why she
chose this life instead of death.

“The price is not that high,” she said.

Perhaps not yet, I thought. But what kind of future
can she possibly have?